Best Friends
by Katie4863
Summary: Two close friends learn there's more to their relationship than just friendship and that there is more to each other than the friend they knew.
1. Chapter 1

He sat across the table from her finishing off his third scotch and noticing that as the last swallow burned its way down his throat the nonstop buzzing sound that was coming from the other side of the table became less annoying. At one point in the evening he wondered if the bubbly blonde ever shut up and it wasn't that she was an idiot or even uninteresting, it was the way she continued to drone on and on and about what he wasn't even sure any longer, he just wanted the noise to stop. When he motioned for the waiter to bring him another drink the woman finally spoke directly to him instead of at him.

"One more of those and you're not going to be able to walk out of here." She said.

"Trust me, it would take much more. I'm fine." He said.

"I'm having a really good time Jack." She said.

"Yeah, me too." He lied and glanced across the room toward the brunette behind the bar, making eye contact and biting back a smile when she nodded at him.

The pretty blonde began yammering on again about her career and how it didn't allow her the opportunity to enjoy a personal life and he didn't have the heart to suggest that her inability to shut up for five minutes was what was possibly hindering any possible love connections. He saw her approaching the table and wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but decided that might be too obvious so he pretended not to notice her until she was standing beside the table looking for an opportunity to jump in. Jack had just spent the last two hours with this woman and knew that such an opportunity would never present itself so he put his hand up and politely shut the woman up.

"Is there something you need?" Jack asked the woman standing beside the table.

"You're Dr. Shephard right?" The woman asked.

"Yes I am, why?" Jack asked.

"You have a phone call. It's the hospital. They say they've been trying to page you, but you're not responding." The woman said.

"Yeah, I left my pager and my cell phone at home. I'm supposed to be off tonight. I guess I should stop eating at the same restaurant every day if I really don't want to be found. Can you excuse me for a moment Shelly?" Jack asked and followed the brunette to the bar.

"So who set you up with this one Jack?" The brunette asked.

"She's the sister of the wife of a colleague. I made the mistake of showing up to a dinner party at their house alone." Jack answered and laughed lightly.

"Do I have to start going places with you to protect you from all the women who want to make it their mission to marry you off?" The brunette teased.

"Maybe because I don't think I can endure many more well intentioned blind dates." He laughed and reached for the phone, pretending to dial and have a conversation and then hanging it up.

"Did you really leave your pager and cell phone at home?" She asked.

"Kate, have you ever known me to be without my hospital lifelines?" He asked and winked at her.

"I'll have the waiter bring you your bill." Kate said and smiled at him.

"Thanks, I owe you for this." He said and walked back to the table where his date was now talking on her cell phone. She had not stopped talking since he picked her up.

Jack sat back down at the table, followed immediately by the waiter with a check. Jack handed him a credit card and looked toward the woman he'd just spent two brutal hours with. She quickly ended her phone call and looked hopefully toward him.

"Please tell me you don't have to go." She said.

"I'm sorry, but I do. One of my patients is really having a difficult time so I need to get over there." He lied.

"You've been drinking Jack. They allow you treat patients when you've been drinking?" She asked.

"No they don't, but this patient has already been treated. I just need to take a look at his chart and his vitals and see if we can't come up with a better solution for his pain." Jack answered.

"And you can't do that over the phone?" She pushed.

"Look Shelly, I'm sorry. I'm a doctor and my patients have to come first. Let me get you a cab." He said doing his best to remain polite and patient.

"You know Jack if you were having such a bad time all you had to do was say so. You don't have to make up some pathetic story about a patient needing you so you can get rid of me and spare my feelings." Shelly spat angrily, stood and walked out of the restaurant before he could stop her.

Jack looked over at Kate who made an "oops" face at him and he chuckled lightly. He signed the check for his dinner and strolled over to the bar and sat down.

"Another scotch?" Kate asked.

"No, just give me a coke. I need to sober up." Jack said.

"Do you think your colleague is going to be mad at you?" She asked and sat the coke in front of him.

"No, he'll sympathize. Tell me Kate, do I come off as so lonely and pathetic that women can smell it and feel the need to fix me up with just about anything?" Jack asked.

"Personally, I don't find you to be lonely or pathetic, but I think some women, especially married women, think that if a man isn't tied down with a wife and four kids he must be miserable." Kate told him.

"I could see myself tied down some day and be happy with that, but I can also see myself happy just the way I am. One thing I do know for sure is that was the last blind date for me. If you hadn't rescued me I was afraid I was going to have to kiss her just to get her to shut up." He groaned.

"Like kissing her would've been some huge sacrifice. She was a very beautiful and sexy woman Jack." Kate teased.

"That's what I thought when I picked her up, but I have to be honest, after the first hour I could no longer see beautiful or sexy, just annoying." Jack said.

"I'm getting off in 20 minutes. Want me to give you a ride home and you can pick your car up tomorrow?" Kate asked.

"Thanks, but I think I'm just going to walk. Goodnight Kate." Jack said, leaving a ten dollar bill on the bar and walking away.


	2. Chapter 2

"Come on Jack, it'll be fun." Kate urged.

"It's not serious, like practice every night and people getting pissed off if we don't win is it?" Jack asked.

"No, it's just fun. We get together once a week and drink beer and try to look like a softball team practicing and then we have at least one game a week." Kate told him.

"Co-Ed softball huh? Do the women wear really short shorts and skin tight shirts that show off their cleavage?" He asked and then flinched backward when she slapped at his arm.

"No Jack we all wear the same baggy shirt and shorts. I bet you've got really cute knees." Kate teased.

"As a matter of fact, they are kind of cute." He mused.

"So what do you say? Will you play with us?" Kate asked.

"Sure, why not? You have to promise not to get mad at me if my work makes me miss a game though." He agreed.

"I promise, but you have to promise not to use your work as an excuse to bail on us." Kate said.

"I haven't played ball since I was a kid so hopefully you aren't expecting me to actually hit the ball or anything." Jack chuckled.

"You're lunch is almost ready. Do you want to eat at the bar or at a table?" Kate asked.

"The bar is fine. I'll be right back." He said and walked away, disappearing into the men's room.

Jack exited the men's room and caught the scene taking place on the other side of the room out of the corner of his eye. He stopped and watched them argue, her leaning against the wall and him keeping her pinned there by placing his hands on the wall on either side of her. He approached slowly and finally spoke when he was right behind the man.

"Hey Kate, is my lunch about ready? I'm going to be late getting back." Jack said.

"Sure thing Jack." Kate said and broke free from the intimidating man.

"We ain't done talking about this Kate." The man threatened.

"We are done Brad. Go home or I'm going to get the manager to throw you out." Kate said angrily and disappeared into the kitchen.

Brad started to follow and Jack grabbed his arm.

"Hey man, why don't you do what the lady asked?" Jack asked.

"Why don't you mind your own business?" Brad asked.

"Kate's my friend so that makes it my business. She doesn't want anything to do with you or do you not get that?" Jack asked, not the least bit intimidated by the much larger and most likely stronger man.

Without warning Brad punched Jack hard, sending him crashing backwards into the tables and drawing the attention of everyone in the establishment. Jack sat on the floor, momentarily stunned and feeling the area around his left eye beginning to swell.

"Mind your own business or I'll mop up the floor with you next time." Brad threatened and stormed out of the building.

"Jack, oh my god, are you okay." Kate said and helped him up.

"I'm fine." Jack said and shook her off.

"You're not fine, look at your eye." Kate continued to fuss over him.

"Would you stop, I'm fine." Jack assured her and took a seat at the bar where she'd dropped his lunch in her hurry to get to him.

"Eat your lunch and I'll go get you some ice." Kate said.

She returned quickly with a plastic bag full of ice wrapped in a towel and handed it to him. He placed it gently over his eye with his left hand and continued to eat with his right.

"Do you want me to call the police Jack?" The manager asked.

"No, but if you wanted to ban the jerk from the place I'd be on board with that." Jack huffed.

"I was handling it Jack, I wish you wouldn't get involved." Kate said.

"What did you ever see in that guy Kate?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. You don't have an ex-girlfriend you could ask yourself the same question about?" She asked.

"Kate." He sighed heavily.

"I'm handling it Jack and you turning it into a testosterone war isn't helping the situation." Kate complained.

"I can't just sit back and watch some asshole use his size and strength to intimidate a woman." Jack argued.

"He doesn't intimidate me Jack." Kate said.

"Kate he's a mountain, how could he not be intimidating?" Jack asked.

"Fine, he's intimidating and I'd really love it if he'd just move on and stop bothering me, but I'm not afraid he'll hurt me or anything so please promise me you won't confront him anymore." Kate pleaded with him.

"Sorry Kate, I can't promise that." Jack said.

"Are you one of those guys who can't resist a damsel in distress?" She asked.

"Is that what you are Kate?" He asked.

"No, but you act like I am?" She said.

"It's purely selfish. If that guy frustrates you into quitting who is going to keep me company while I eat?" He asked and smiled at her.

"Yeah well I only do it because you're such a good tipper." She teased.

"So what time is this softball thing?" He asked.

"We have a practice tomorrow night at seven." She answered.

"I can't." He said.

"Jack!" She scolded while laughing.

"I'm sorry Kate, but I kind of have plans." He apologized.

"Plans that are more exciting than drinking beer and trying to hit and catch a softball?" She probed.

"I doubt it, but Debra called and I sort of agreed to see her." He said quietly.

"Debra? The crazy, clingy basket case that swore she'd kill herself if you broke things off?" Kate asked.

"One in the same." Jack answered.

"Why would you get yourself involved in that again Jack?" Kate asked.

"I'm not planning on getting involved with her again Kate. She just wants to talk to me about something." Jack defended himself.

"Fine, but you don't get to lecture me on the losers I date anymore because you suck at finding a suitable companion as much as I do." She told him.

"No, no, I still get to lecture because I rarely ever actually choose the losers I date." Jack chuckled.

"You're so full of shit Jack." Kate laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

He'd reacted on instinct, the rage he felt at the sight of the 250 pound man plowing into the 115 pound woman not something he could control and as they pulled him away and snapped him back into reality he wondered for a moment if he would've reacted so violently if the woman had been anyone besides Kate.

He was playing 3rd base, caught the ground ball that the batter hit and immediately threw it to Kate who was playing catcher. It was co-ed softball, not major league baseball and Kate made the catch and had an easy tag on the runner headed for home or at least that's how it should've played out. Instead the runner, the 6 foot, 4 inch, 250 pound gorilla decided to put his head down and turn himself into a battering ram, sending Kate off her feet and backward, landing hard on her shoulder followed by the dull thud of her head smacking into the ground and as far as Jack could tell not moving.

He snapped and he was running toward the man, grabbing him and slamming him hard against the backstop, ready to kill him with his bare hands and fighting against the hands that were pulling at him in a desperate attempt to pull him off of the guy. The words _"Kate is hurt, she needs you"_ finally snapped him out of his rage and forced him to let go and turn his attention to her. She was lying on the ground, holding her arm, but to his relief conscious and a little ticked off at him. He kneeled beside her and helped her sit up.

"God Jack are you out of your mind? It's not like he meant to hurt me!" She screamed at him and then grabbed her head.

"Where'd you hit your head?" He asked, ignoring her anger.

"In the back, but it's my arm that is killing me." She panted, the pain obviously pretty intense.

Jack began to examine her arm, the baggy baseball jersey she was wearing easy to push out of his way. The bones felt normal all the way up her arm until he slipped his hand up inside the sleeve and over her shoulder.

"Your shoulder is dislocated. I can pop it back in right now or we can wait until we get you to the hospital, but the longer you wait the more it's going to swell and the more painful it's going to be to put it back in." Jack said.

"It couldn't possibly hurt any more than it does right now so go ahead." She said.

He took hold of her hand and her arm and very quickly and without any warning snapped the joint back into place making her cry out in pain and grab onto his shirt, burying her face in it. He placed a comforting hand on her back.

"I'm sorry. There is no pleasant way to do that. It should be feeling a little better now though." He said and helped her stand up.

"It is. Thank you." Kate said.

"Don't thank me, just come with me. I want to get an x-ray and put it in a sling." He said.

"No Jack it's fine." Kate argued.

"Kate, please. I just want to make sure everything is okay." Jack pleaded with her.

"I'm really sorry miss, I didn't mean to hurt you." The man who'd done all the damage apologized.

Kate could see that Jack was about to say something hateful or worse and stopped him.

"Can you give me a ride home Jack, I really don't feel so great." Kate said.

He didn't argue with her about the hospital anymore because he could see by the look in her eyes that he'd lose the argument. She was probably the only person he'd ever met that could be more stubborn than he was. He helped her into his car, put the seatbelt around her and drove her to her apartment.

"You need me to come up with you?" He asked.

"No, I'll be okay." She said and struggled to unhook the seatbelt.

He reached over and undid the belt for her and watched her desperately fight to get the car door open, managing to get it open and step out of the car just in time to run toward the grass and throw up. He moved out of the car and stood beside her, placing a gentle hand on her back.

"Kate, I really wish you'd let me take you to the ER and let them check you out." Jack sighed heavily.

"No, I'll just make an appointment with my doctor." She refused and straightened up, attempting to walk away from him and losing her balance.

He steadied her and wrapped his arm around her supporting the majority of her weight.

"Take it easy, I've got you." He said softly, closed and locked his car doors and helped her up the stairs to her apartment.

He took her keys from her and unlocked the door, stepping inside with her and finally picking her up and carrying her into her bedroom. He laid her gently on the bed, the look of concern on his face making her start to wonder if she really should go to the ER.

"What's wrong with me?" She groaned.

"You've probably got a concussion which is just my best guess since you're too stubborn to let me take you the hospital where they could actually take a picture of your head and make sure it's nothing more than that." He answered in a frustrated tone.

"Don't be mad at me Jack. I don't have insurance and it would take me forever to pay off the bill. Will you stay, just until I feel a little better?" She asked.

The fact that she was actually asking for his help told him that she was feeling pretty awful so he stopped being put out with her for not seeking the medical attention he wanted her to get and smiled at her.

"I'm not mad and I'll stay for as long as you need me to. Do you have ice?" He asked.

"Yes, are you thirsty, I can make you some tea or a drink?" She offered making him smile at her.

"Yes because I'm an asshole who wants the sick, injured woman to get out of bed and wait on him. We need to ice your shoulder. I'll be right back." He told her.

"There's an ice bag in the cupboard above the refrigerator and I'd love some tea." She called to him as he was walking away making him laugh lightly.

Kate awoke the next morning, her head pounding and her arm and shoulder so stiff and sore that she nearly screamed when she tried to move it. She could feel a presence, his presence and turned her head to the side. He was sitting up in bed, head down and asleep. She guessed he must've sat with her all night long and smiled through all the pain. She reached out with her good arm and shook his arm gently. He was immediately awake and ready for action and looking at her with questioning eyes and concern.

"You're so sweet. I can't believe you sat there all night." She said and attempted to sit up.

"You were pretty out of it Kate. Do you feel better?" Jack asked and stretched his tired, cramped body.

"My shoulder and arm hurt and so does my head, but I think I'm okay. I bet I will be great after a hot shower." She said.

"You should stay home today. You've got a concussion." Jack warned.

"I can't Jack, I need the money. Hopefully we'll be slow." She groaned and moved off the bed, standing in one place for a moment until the dizziness passed.

She looked down at herself, noticed she was only wearing a t-shirt and panties and looked over at him with accusing eyes.

"Don't look at me like that. You got sick all over yourself. Would you rather I had just let you sleep in your own vomit all night?" He asked and moved off the bed.

"No, of course not. Thank you. Want me to make you some coffee before I jump in the shower?" She asked.

"No, I need to get to work, but thank you, and Kate take it easy today, don't try to do too much." He said and let himself out of the apartment.

He entered the restaurant and stood quietly in the doorway for a moment watching her. She was favoring the arm and in obvious pain. He walked to the bar, found his favorite seat and grabbed a menu. She turned around, saw him, smiled and approached him.

"What can I get for you today?" She asked.

"You can come around the bar and let me take another look at your shoulder." Jack said.

"Jack, I'm……" She started to object.

"Yeah, I know, you're fine, you're always fine. Humor me Kate." He said and shot her his most irresistible smile.

She sighed heavily and made her way around the bar stopping in front of the barstool he was sitting on. He turned to face her, placed his hand on a specific spot on her shoulder and squeezed.

"Ouch! Shit! Jesus Jack!" She cried out and backed away from him

"Yeah, you're fine. Come here, I brought you something." He said

She approached him cautiously, backing up when he brought his hands up again.

"Relax, I'm not going to inflict any more pain on you." He chuckled and pulled the sling out of the pocket of his suit jacket.

She stood still and let him put the sling on her and adjust it because her arm and shoulder really did hurt quite a bit and everything he was doing was making it hurt just little less. He reached into his other pocket, pulled out a prescription bottle and handed it to her.

"What's this?" She asked.

"It's an anti-inflammatory with an extra kick to kill the pain. It's just something to take the edge off because I know it hurts whether you want to admit it or not. When you aren't working you should keep heat on it. It'll help it heal quicker." He said.

"You didn't have to do this Jack." She said.

"Yes I did." He said and smiled at her.

"Okay, so don't bother looking at the menu. Let me surprise you." She said and disappeared into the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

Three weeks had passed since Kate's shoulder injury and Jack hadn't stopped by his favorite restaurant for a meal since the day he'd given her the sling and as he sat at his desk making notes in a patient's file trying to decide if he had time for lunch he realized he was actually starting to miss her. Kate had started working at his favorite eatery about ten months ago and in that time they'd become good friends. He found he could relax around her and talk freely with her about just about anything and she would tell him about whatever loser she was dating from one week to the next. He could never understand why she seemed to only be attracted to assholes, but decided that was something about many women he'd never truly understand. He dropped his pen, stood, grabbed his jacket and walked out of his office.

Jack entered the restaurant and found his favorite spot at the bar. The restaurant's owner spotted him and dropped a menu in front of him.

"Haven't seen you in awhile Jack." He said.

"Yeah, I've been really busy, lots of patients." Jack said.

"Too busy to eat?" The man asked.

"Sadly, yes. Is Kate not working today?" Jack asked.

"Yes, but that ex-boyfriend of hers stopped by and she stepped out back with him." He said and walked away.

Jack looked at the door that led to the alley behind the restaurant and struggled with whether he should go make sure she was okay or just stay put.

"What the hell, it's just another black eye." He mumbled and headed toward the door.

Kate heard the door to the restaurant open and hoped it was one of the bus boys or her boss telling her she needed to get back to work, but instead it was Jack and she didn't know why, but the moment she saw him and made eye contact with him the tears started streaming down her face and that was all it took. Jack spun the man around before he had a chance to react, grabbed two handfuls of his shirt and slammed him up against the wall, his forearm planted firmly over his throat.

"What did you do to her?" Jack seethed through clenched teeth.

"I didn't do anything." Brad answered as he struggled to break free from the hold Jack had on him.

"Not so tough when you can't get in a sucker punch are you?" Jack taunted and added pressure to the guy's throat.

"You don't want to do this man." Brad warned.

"Do what?" Jack hissed.

"Get involved in what ain't your business." Brad said.

"Kate's with me now Brad so it is my business." Jack told him and tightened his grip on him.

"Seriously Kate? You're fucking this clown?" Brad asked.

"That's no way to talk to a lady." Jack told him, let go of him and landed five hard punches. Two to the stomach, one to the ribs and two to the head.

Jack stepped away and let the guy drop to his knees, hovering above him and daring him to get up.

"Don't come back here again Brad." Jack warned and moved away from him.

Jack put a gentle hand on Kate's lower back, opened the door and waited for her to step through it, following behind her, closing the door and latching the deadbolt. Kate turned to look at him and he put his hands up.

"Look, I know what you said, but…." Jack started to argue.

"No, it's okay, I just want to see your hand, see if you need some ice." Kate said.

"I'm fine, but I could really go for a club sandwich and a cup of coffee." He told her and smiled.

"Sure." She said almost as if she were in a trance, her gaze fixed on him.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jack asked.

"Hmm, yeah, I'm fine, that was just you know…..um, I guess I'm just….thank you." She finally finished.

"Of course." He said as though protecting her was the most natural thing in the world and he'd never considered that he needed to be thanked for doing so.

She set the club sandwich and coffee down in front of him and turned to leave.

"You don't have time to keep me company today?" He asked.

"You haven't been around much Jack, I thought maybe you were getting sick of having someone chatting you up while you're trying to eat and went elsewhere." She answered.

"No, I've just been really busy and living out of vending machines. It's too bad the whole softball thing didn't work out although I doubt I would've had time for that either. How is it anyway? Your shoulder?" He asked.

"It's good, still a little tender if I catch it just right, but nothing I can't live with." She told him and dropped a large piece of strawberry pie in front of him.

"What's that for?" He asked.

"You need to eat Jack, you're too skinny." She lectured.

"Yeah, well I could say the same thing about you. Want to share it?" He asked and smiled at her.

"New plan huh? Fatten me up so I won't even be attractive to the assholes any longer?" She teased.

"I suspect you're attractive to all men Kate, but I get the impression that nice guys bore you." He said.

"If that were true Jack, we wouldn't spend so much time talking to each other." She reminded him.

"I'm flattered that you consider me a nice guy. I mean after the way I attacked the asshole that plowed you over in that game and well, I did just kick your boyfriend's ass." He said.

"Please Jack, you're probably one of the nicest people I've ever known and I don't find you the least bit boring." She told him as she sat down beside him and grabbed a fork.

"Maybe, but it's different." He said.

"Why is it different?" She asked as she took a bite of the pie and moaned lightly.

"Because we're just friends so you don't have to consider what it would be like to date me and be turned off by the idea." He shrugged and then chuckled as she took a huge bite of the pie that left a blob of whip cream on her chin.

He pointed at her chin and she wiped the whip cream away with her finger and then stuck it in her mouth.

"I doubt I'd be turned off by the idea." She said, kissing him on the cheek and scooting off the barstool, leaving him alone with the half-eaten piece of pie and a stunned look on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

Jack made sure he made time for lunch or dinner at his favorite restaurant at least once a week after that day and usually it was more like three or four times a week and Kate found herself looking forward to seeing him and feeling a bit disappointed on the days when he didn't stop by. Kate's ex-boyfriend Brad hadn't been back to bother Kate since Jack had beaten him up and for that she was grateful. Jack was right about Kate's taste in boyfriends, but he was wrong in that it wasn't something that was ever a conscious choice for her, she just seemed to be drawn to unsavory men for reasons she couldn't explain.

Her feelings toward Jack were something else though. It wasn't the same lustful desire that typically drew her to a man and she wasn't even sure if drawn to him would be an accurate description of how she felt about Jack. She simply adored him and had grown to care quite a bit about him and while he didn't seem to be the least bit interested in being anything more than her friend she could admit at least to herself that if he ever wanted to be more than just a friend she would have to give it some serious consideration and came to realize that seriously considering it had been something she'd been doing a lot of lately.

Jack was in a different social class or at least in her eyes he was. He was a successful surgeon with wealthy, powerful friends and every woman she'd ever seen him with knew how to carry herself in what she'd dubbed as "Jack's World". In the time she'd known him he'd never had what she would consider a steady girlfriend, just dates that sometimes stretched into short relationships. She never pried, but assumed he had a sex life and he, always the gentleman, never discussed that aspect of his personal life or whether or not any of his dates she'd known about had ended in a sexual conquest for him.

The fact that she sometimes caught herself wondering about that aspect of his personal life is what had been making her question her feelings for Jack lately and what had prompted her to suggest that going out on a date with him wouldn't be a turn off. While the comment hadn't scared him off or changed the way they interacted with one another, he hadn't brought it up or opted to act on it either so she guessed that Jack hadn't been hinting at anything that day and wasn't interested in her in that way.

It was a busy dinner shift and Jack was seated at a table with three of his colleagues. He sat quietly, pretending to listen to whatever they were talking about and watched Kate deal with a difficult group. One of the men in the group chose to blame her for every little thing he found unsatisfactory about his food and then threw the bill at her, refusing to pay it. The manager stepped in and Kate walked away. Jack noticed how upset she was and excused himself to go talk to her. She felt his hand on her shoulder and turned around, wiping the tears from her face.

"Hey, you don't let idiots get to you. What's wrong?" He asked.

"Barney died last night." She told him and let go of a fresh river of tears.

"Come here." He said and hugged her, letting her cry for the beloved mutt she'd had for the past 14 years.

"I know it's stupid to be this upset over a dog, but he was my best friend. He was lying on my bed last night with his head on my leg looking at me. I think he knew because he died sometime during the night and I can't get that image, that final look, out of my head." She told him, finally pulling back from his embrace and pulling herself together.

"I'm sorry Kate, do you need some help, um, well, disposing of him?" Jack asked.

"You'd do that?" Kate asked.

"Sure, but he's not still in your apartment is he?" Jack asked in a concerned tone.

"You can't tell anyone Jack, but I wrapped him up in three of those heavy black trash bags and put him in the freezer in the basement." Kate told him.

"Man, I wouldn't want to be grabbing for a steak and pull that out instead." He said chuckling lightly.

"I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't just throw him in a dumpster and I can't afford to take him to the vet so I put him there until I could figure something out. Why are you laughing at me?" She asked and then backed away from him, not impressed that he seemed so amused by her current trauma.

"I'm not. Kate, I'm not laughing at you I swear. I'm sorry, but you're just so sweet and picturing you sneaking poor Barney down to the basement freezer is so cute that I can't help but be amused by it. Please, let me help you give Barney a proper burial to make up for my inappropriate reaction." Jack apologized and pulled her back in for another hug.

"Where can we bury him?" Kate asked finding his hug comforting and in no hurry to extract herself from it this time.

"Well, if you're not working tomorrow, I'll come pick you and the deceased up and we'll drive out into the country, dig a hole and bury him. Sound good?" He asked.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"I'll pick you up at nine o'clock." He told her, placing a soft kiss on her temple.

She pulled away from him, wiped her face some more and smiled at him.

"Thank you. Do I look okay enough to go tend to my customers?" She asked.

"As beautiful as ever." He said and smiled back at her.

Jack rejoined his colleagues, two of whom were looking at him with questioning eyes.

"What? She's a good friend and needed a shoulder to cry on." Jack said.

"I guess that explains the exceptional service we've been getting all night." One of the men laughed.

"Kate is just really good at her job; it's got nothing to do with me." Jack argued.

"Yeah sure that's it Jack." Another man chuckled.

Kate returned to their table to refill their water glasses and check on them.

"Is everything okay? Can I get you anything else? Would you like to try one our wonderful desserts?" Kate asked.

"There is something you could do for me miss." The oldest of the group of men said.

"What's that sir?" Kate asked.

"The hospital we work at has this charity ball fundraiser event every year and this guy is going to be auctioned off to the highest bidder just like he is every year. Will you come and outbid my wife? I'm guessing Jack would much rather be your slave for the night." The man teased making everyone except Jack and Kate laugh.

"Ignore him Kate, he's had too much wine." Jack grumbled.

Kate smiled at the older gentleman and continued working her other tables. She returned one last time to bring them their check and the next time she turned around they were gone. She guessed Jack didn't want to discuss the slave comment and opted to leave without saying goodbye, but they did leave her a very generous tip and she knew Jack instigated that by dropping the first the twenty dollar bill down, an act that would require the other three men in his party to match or exceed his generosity.


	6. Chapter 6

Intentionally Left Blank – Story continues in Chapter 7.


	7. Chapter 7

They sat quietly beside the small mound of dirt, him giving her as much time as she needed to say goodbye and her enjoying the quiet moment between them. He put his arm around her, pulled her in for a quick hug and kissed her temple.

"I'm really sorry about Barney." Jack said, his tone sincere.

"The apartment won't seem the same without that happy hairy face running to greet me when I come through the door and he was such a good listener." Kate said.

"I'm a good listener and you don't even have to scratch my belly." Jack said making her let go of a quick breathy laugh.

"I don't think there's much comparison between you and a twenty pound mutt." Kate said.

"It's true, I don't quite measure up, but.." Jack started to explain.

"Jack! That's not what I meant and you know it." Kate giggled softly.

"Hear me out. I'm not cute and furry, but I do have certain qualities that make me a better option than Barney." He teased.

"Yeah, like what?" She played along.

"Well, I may never chase a ball and bring it back to you or dance around on my hind legs because I'm so happy to see you, but I promise I will never lick my butt and then try to lick your face." He told her, making her laugh out loud.

"Thank you Jack, you're exactly what I needed today." She said and playfully knocked her shoulder into his.

"Careful, you don't want to dislocate that again." He told her.

"If I ever dislocate it again, it's going to have to stay dislocated because hell will freeze over before I will ever allow you and your magical hands to inflict that kind of pain on me again." She groaned.

"I'm hurt Kate. These hands have so much more to offer than just inflicting pain, and yes they are quite magical. Turn around and I'll prove it to you." He replied in a tone that dared her to not be curious enough to play along.

She turned her back to him and he turned to face her back, letting his legs stretch out on either side of hers. He placed his hands on the tops of her shoulders, right at her neck and began massaging gently, smiling as she moaned in appreciation and began relaxing.

"Oh God Jack, you really do have qualities Barney could never have hoped to have." She sighed.

"You're really tense Kate. I think you need to get out and have some fun." Jack said.

"Oh you're one to talk. Mr. _"I've been living out of vending machines"_ because I don't have time to sit down and eat a meal." Kate replied, closing her eyes and relaxing more.

"Would you be interested in doing me a really big favor Kate?" Jack asked.

"I guess that would depend on what and how big." Kate answered.

"That charity thing that Dalton mentioned last night, would you consider coming with me? It's two weeks from tonight." He asked.

"You mean like a date?" Kate asked.

"It doesn't have to be a date. I'm just asking you to save me from either another horrible blind date or the humiliation of being auctioned off because I don't have a date. Please." Jack said.

"I don't think so Jack. I don't own anything that would be suitable to wear to such a dressy event." She told him.

"Well, you could pick out a nice dress and let me pay for it." Jack said.

"Why would I let you buy me a dress?" She asked, pulling away from his massaging hands, her tone suggesting she was offended.

"Because I'm your friend and because you'd be doing me a really big favor by coming to this thing with me and because you deserve a pretty dress." He said.

She scooted away and turned around so she could look at him.

"Look Jack, you're sweet and I would love to help you out, but I just can't." She told him.

"Okay." He said quietly.

"Please don't be mad." She said.

"I'm not mad. Hey do you think that Shelly woman is still too pissed off at me to give me a second chance?" Jack asked trying to lighten things back up.

"Boring charity event with a woman who never stops talking about herself? No, I don't think so Jack. What about that red-head you brought around a couple of times? She seemed kind of fun." Kate suggested.

"You do remember why that ended don't you?" Jack asked.

"Oh yeah, you found out she was married. Sorry. Well then how about…" Kate started to suggest someone else, but he interrupted her.

"How about I just go alone and sacrifice myself to the auction and do my part for charity. Come on let's head back to the city, lunch is on me." Jack offered and stood, holding his hands out to pull her up.

Jack was scrambling around the bedroom, pulling his pants on and tucking in his dress shirt. He looked at the rumpled bed, smiled and stuck his head in the bathroom.

"We're going to be late." He reminded the person in the shower.

"Yeah well if you hadn't escaped from the shower so quickly, I'd make us really late." She replied making him chuckle.

"I'll make it up to you later." He promised and continued dressing.

He was fumbling with his tie when he heard the knock on the door. He considered ignoring it, but decided it might be his elderly neighbor having locked herself out again. He opened the door and froze, completely captivated by the sight in front him.

"Are you going to invite me in?" She asked and laughed lightly.

"Kate, what…I mean…why...you look fabulous." He stammered.

"Well, once I fix that tie of yours you too will look fabulous." She said and entered the apartment.

"Kate, what are you doing here?" He asked.

"Well Jack, I started thinking about all the nice things you do for me, things you don't even think about, you just do and decided I was being a bit selfish and not a very good friend when I refused to help you out tonight so here I am." She said.

"Will there be dancing at this thing because I need to make sure I wear the appropriate shoes if there is?" The female wearing nothing but a towel asked as she entered the room.

"Kate, this is Carly; Carly this is Kate." Jack introduced the two women, suddenly uncomfortable and sweating.

"Oh god, this is, um……I'm sorry." Kate said and quickly exited the condo with Jack right behind her.

"Kate wait!" He called out to her.

"No Jack it's fine, we'll talk later." Kate replied without looking back at him as she hurried toward the exit that led to the small lobby.

"Kate would you please just stop and let me explain." Jack pleaded with her.

"There's nothing to explain." Kate assured him as she turned to face him and forced a weak smile.

"No, there is. Look, she's an old friend and.." Jack stammered.

"A old friend Jack?" Kate asked and raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, an old girlfriend. She's back in town for a few days and we kind of went out a couple of times and she agreed to go to this thing with me and damn this is terrible. You look so pretty." He said and hung his head, wishing he could just disappear so he wouldn't have to look at her and the disappointment and embarrassment she was trying to hide, but was failing miserably at doing so.

"It's okay Jack. Have a good time at your party." Kate said and forced another weak smile.

She stepped into the lobby and he watched her walk away feeling like he'd just betrayed her or something. He felt awful for her and for him and for the woman in his condo who would be forced to spend the evening with him when all he wanted to do was chase down the woman that he'd just disappointed and humiliated and make it up to her somehow.


	8. Chapter 8

Jack slowly entered his condo, hands in his pockets and head down. He walked into his bedroom and watched the beautiful woman he'd just spent the afternoon in bed with sitting on the bed in her bra and panties pulling her stockings on. She looked up at him and began pulling the stockings off.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Whoever she was, you need to go after her Jack." Carly said.

"No, it's okay, I'll talk to her tomorrow." Jack said.

"It's not okay Jack. She's obviously embarrassed and probably a little hurt and if you care about her at all you'll go after her." Carly insisted.

"I can't. We've got to get to this dinner. I'll deal with it tomorrow." Jack refused.

"I'm not going to the dinner with you." She said.

"What?" He asked in an aggravated tone.

"I changed my mind." She shrugged.

"Why?" He asked.

"Jack, I'm leaving in the morning and who knows if or when you'll ever see me again, but that woman is going to be here. I have no idea what she means to you, but if it's anything worth salvaging you need to go after her." Carly told him and walked toward him.

"I'm just supposed to forget we had plans and chase down a friend, and yes Carly that's all we are." Jack said and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Judging by the look on your face she is a very dear friend. Now go. I'll let myself out." She told him and kissed him quickly on the mouth.

Jack wouldn't admit it to her, but he was relieved that she was sending him after Kate. He grabbed his wallet and his keys and left the condo, tie still untied and hanging loosely around his neck. He stood in the hallway and wondered where he would even start looking, and when he rounded the corner and he saw her sitting in the lobby he breathed a sigh of relief. He walked toward her and sat down beside her.

"I'm not sitting here feeling sorry myself. I called a cab and I'm waiting for it. What are you doing? Where is your date?" She asked.

"I'm sitting next to her." Jack answered.

"No Jack, no way. Look, this is embarrassing enough without you doing this." Kate said.

"Kate, please. I want you to come to the dinner with me." Jack pleaded with her.

"Jack stop it! You've got a woman in your condo that you apparently just slept with and you want to just blow her off and come down here, hold my hand and take care of poor, pathetic Kate. Well forget it! I don't need your goddamn charity!" Kate yelled at him and stood.

"Why are you yelling at me?" Jack asked calmly.

"I'm sorry, I'm just….I don't know what I am. Jack please just leave me alone." Kate said softly and began walking toward the exit.

Jack watched her disappear through the doors, sat a few minutes until he saw the cab pull up and then slowly made his way back to his condo. Carly saw him enter the room and put her hands on her hips ready to lecture him.

"Don't. I tried. She doesn't want anything to do with me." Jack said in a frustrated tone and dropped himself heavily onto the couch.

"Jack, you're a doll, but you really have a lot to learn about women." Carly said and laughed lightly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack asked not nearly as amused as she was.

"I saw that woman for less than five minutes and I could tell that she definitely wants something to do with you." Carly said.

"You're wrong Carly. I've seen the type of men Kate is attracted to and trust me, I'm not her type." Jack argued.

"But she's your type?" Carly asked.

"I don't know, maybe. I don't really allow myself to think about it much, because I know that it would never happen. Kate and I don't have that kind of relationship. She's just this really great friend, someone I enjoy hanging out with and talking to. She does a good job of keeping me honest, keeping me from getting too high during the good times or too low during the bad times. She makes me laugh. I care a lot about her and hate watching her struggle and being too stubborn to ever ask for help. She must've spent a lot of money on that dress she had on Carly and I know she didn't have it to spare. I feel really bad about this." Jack explained.

"Then go get her Jack and make her go to this dinner with you. Be firm and don't take no for an answer and I bet once she finally gives in, she won't regret it and this awkward thing that has suddenly placed itself in the middle of your friendship will be forgotten." Carly insisted.

"Why are you being so nice and why are you pushing this? We just spent the last couple of days and nights together. Shouldn't you be feeling at least a little bit jealous or something? I'm feeling a little inadequate here Carly." Jack said and chuckled lightly.

"Did I make it seem like you were the least bit inadequate Jack?" Carly asked in a sexy tone.

"Then why don't you want to spend your last night with me?" Jack asked.

"I do Jack." Carly insisted.

"Then why are you pushing me toward another woman?" Jack asked.

"I've known you a long time Jack and I adore you, but let's be honest here, we're friends with benefits and that's the best either one of us has to offer. I saw her Jack, saw her face and your face and I'm standing here looking into those tormented eyes of yours. I don't want to spend an evening looking at those tormented eyes. So go and fix this. I think that woman wants to be much more than just your friend, you just need to open your mind and your eyes and see that because I think you want more too whether you're willing to admit it or not." Carly said.

He knocked softly on the apartment door, waited the appropriate amount of time and knocked again.

"Come on Kate, I know you're in there, I saw the lights from the street." Jack persisted.

He could hear the sound of the chain being removed and the deadbolt being unlatched and finally the doorknob turned and there she stood, still wearing the dress, her eyes a little red and puffy. He'd actually made her cry. He'd never done that before and he wished he didn't suddenly know how bad it felt to have to see her the way she was at the moment and realize he'd caused it.

"You know I'm really touched that you went to all this trouble just for me." He said.

"Jack, you don't have to do this. I'm fine." Kate sighed and walked away leaving the door open for him to follow if he wanted to.

"I know that Kate, you're always fine, even when you're not. Look, you're important to me Kate. I've never had a friend I feel this comfortable with and I care a lot about you and your feelings. I hate that this happened. Please let me make this right." He said.

"It's not your fault Jack. I should've told you I would go with you. I just wanted to surprise you. Guess I was the one that got surprised huh?" She huffed with a slight laugh.

"The word awkward was definitely invented for moments like tonight." He agreed, his head slightly hung and glancing up at her with a hopeful, apologetic look.

"Really Jack I'm fine and we're fine. Go back to your date and enjoy your evening." Kate said, hugging him and kissing him on the cheek, pulling back before he had a chance to return the affection.

"I can't. She left." Jack told her.

"Great, I not only humiliated myself, I ruined your evening." Kate said.

"No, she wasn't mad or anything. I don't think she really wanted to go and was relieved that I had another option." He lied

"Bullshit." Kate replied.

"Okay fine, she insisted I find you and make this okay, but she wasn't mad Kate. You know if you don't come with me I'm going to end up becoming the property of some rich, old lady for a day and night. Do you really want that on your conscience?" Jack asked and offered his most irresistible look.

"Did you spend hours in front of the mirror perfecting that irresistible face, complete with those puppy dog eyes?" Kate teased.

"Did it work?" He asked.

"Yes, it worked. Let me get my purse." She said, unable to hide the smile that was creeping onto her face.


	9. Chapter 9

Kate was nervous, the idea that she didn't belong in Jack's world weighing heavy on her mind as he escorted her into the black tie affair. He could sense she was uneasy and placed a comforting hand on her lower back.

"Relax, it's not a big deal." He whispered as he pulled her chair out and waited for her to sit down.

Kate sat quietly, nodding and smiling at what she hoped were all the right moments as she poked at the food on her plate, unsure of what it was exactly she was eating and not really that fond of the taste. The couple they were sharing the table with excused themselves, leaving the two of them alone. Jack glanced at her plate of food and then made eye contact with her.

"I'm not a big fan of lamb either." He said.

"Oh no, it's fine, I'm just not that hungry." She lied.

"Liar." He grinned.

"Do you eat like this often Jack?" Kate asked.

"You've seen what I eat Kate, what do you think?" He chuckled.

Kate started to answer, but was interrupted by a man, the same man who had made the slave remark in the restaurant.

"I see you took my advice. My wife is so disappointed." The man laughed, obviously more than just a few drinks under his belt.

"Your wife is not disappointed. She's had her eye on the new guy from oncology all night." Jack argued.

"Yeah, she's a bit of hussy that one. You certainly are beautiful. What was your name again?" The man asked Kate.

"I'm Kate." She answered.

"Well Kate, in my opinion you're the most beautiful woman in the room tonight and therefore you must dance with me." He said.

"I don't...." Kate tried to resist.

"No, no miss. I always initiate the first dance, it's tradition. Tell her Jack." He said.

"It kind of is tradition Kate. Go ahead." Jack encouraged her and smiled.

Jack sat back along with everyone else and watched Dalton Carmichael, the chief of staff and most highly respected and feared individual present at the stuffy affair slowly waltz Kate across the dance floor and couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by how incredibly beautiful she was. Carly was right. He was denying the depth of his feelings for Kate. He cared a lot, probably too much and he wasn't blind, he'd noticed how attractive she was the first time he met her, but she never seemed interested in him that way. He'd convinced himself he was okay with their relationship because what he did share with her was very special to him and he never wanted to do anything to mess that up, but now he wasn't sure.

As he sat and watched her he could feel himself wanting more and he began to realize that he'd probably wanted more for a very long time, but that it was just easier for him to deny those feelings then take such a huge risk and act on them. Kate wasn't like any other woman he'd known, she was in his heart and he had no idea how she got there, but it unnerved him. As he watched her glide across the dance floor he finally admitted to himself that he could fall for her, and probably fall hard and he wondered if Carly was right about Kate also wanting more.

He could see them talking, noticed Kate's uneasy smile and decided it was time to rescue her from his well-meaning, but drunk colleague. He walked to the dance floor, tapped Dalton on the shoulder and the man gracefully bowed out and allowed Jack to take his place.

"You okay?" Jack asked, feeling how tightly she was holding onto him.

"He's quite a character." Kate avoided the question.

"That he is. You didn't answer my question. You seem really anxious. You aren't going to throw up on me are you?" He teased.

"They are all staring at me Jack. I know I'm not as classy as your typical date, but is the difference really that striking?" Kate sighed.

"You're the classiest woman I know Kate and they are staring at you because you are beautiful. All the men are awestruck and all the women are jealous." He told her and pulled her closer, feeling her relax into him and let go of light laugh.

"You're so full of shit Jack." She said and let her head rest on his shoulder, allowing him to slowly guide her across the dance floor, feeling like Cinderella and not in any hurry to let go of him.

He walked her to her door and stood with his hands in his pockets as she unlocked it. She opened the door and turned to face him.

"I had a good time Jack." She said.

"No you didn't." He said and laughed.

"Well, I didn't have a bad time, not the whole time anyway." She said sheepishly.

"It's okay Kate, I'm not a big fan of those stuffy events either, but having you there with me made it much more enjoyable than any I've been to in the past." He said.

"You're sweet Jack, but I think we both know I was out of my element tonight." Kate told him.

"I hadn't noticed." He said, looking down at his feet and shuffling them from side to side before stilling them and looking at her again.

"Listen, it's your birthday on Tuesday and I...." Jack started to say.

"How did you know Tuesday is my birthday?" She asked.

"When I wrote that prescription for your shoulder I needed your date of birth and address so I could get the pharmacy to fill it. I called Mac and he gave it to me." He explained.

"And you actually remembered?" Kate asked.

"Of course." He replied.

"I'm going to have to have a talk with my boss about giving my personal information out. Did he give you my height, weight and social security number too?" Kate asked, pretending to be annoyed.

"Let's see, about five foot five inches and 110 pounds?" Jack asked and smiled at her.

"Oh good job cutting about 10 pounds off the weight there bud." Kate laughed.

"So anyway, back to your birthday. I was wondering if you might want to go out..........on a date.........with me?" He asked nervously.

Kate was momentarily stunned. Was he seriously asking her out on a real date, like a man and a woman and not two buddies hanging out? Jack bit nervously on his bottom lip, took her stunned silence as him having crossed the line, their line and immediately began to backpedal.

"It's okay Kate, I just thought maybe....um, shit this was a bad idea....I know I'm not the type of guy you usually....." He stammered finally silenced by her grabbing hold of his face and closing her mouth over his.

He didn't react at first, shocked into submission and okay with allowing her to eat his face off if that's what she wanted to do. He finally pulled his hands from his pockets and cupped the sides of her face, slowing her down enough to open his mouth and accept all that she was attempting to give him, returning the kiss with equal fervor and then finally separating, both breathless and gazing into each other's eyes.

"Um, great. I'll see you Tuesday then. Uh, what time is good for you?" He asked, seeming as though he was no longer capable of forming a coherent thought.

"How about six?" She asked.

"Six it is. Goodnight Kate." He said and slowly moved away from her open front door, finally turning his back to her and smiling a big smile as he walked to his car.


	10. Chapter 10

He entered the restaurant and stopped, watching her moving around behind the bar, her back to him and completely unaware that he was fixated on her as his mind drifted back to that kiss; that hot, passionate kiss that had left him too stupid to talk to her and too restless to sleep that night. He didn't know if she had been holding that back for quite awhile or if she'd just been overwhelmed by the night, the champagne and the moment but as far as he was concerned it was the best first kiss he'd ever shared with any woman. His only regret was that he'd made a date with her for her birthday instead of making plans with her the very next day. She could sense she was being watched and turned around, smiling and waving him to the bar.

"You're early." She said, approaching him and stopping about a foot in front of him.

He held a single rose out, yellow with a red tip.

"Happy Birthday Kate." He said, handing her the rose.

"Thank you. Are you hungry?" She asked.

"Maybe a little, I need to talk to you about something. Can you sit with me for a minute?" He asked.

"Sure. Go grab a booth and I'll grab your usual." She said.

Jack found a booth in the back of the restaurant, waited a few minutes and then smiled when she set the club sandwich and a cup of coffee in front of him and sat down on the opposite side of the booth. He took half of the sandwich and slid the plate over to her.

"You look hungry." He said.

"What's up Jack? You seem preoccupied." Kate said and took a bite of her half of the sandwich.

"I do?" He asked.

"Yes, you do. Did you come here to cancel on me?" She asked.

"No, but I do need to ask you a favor." He said.

"What's that?" She asked.

"Can you meet me at my place at six? I know it's kind of a crap thing to ask a woman out and then not pick her up, but I've got a consultation that is going to run late and I'm trying to save time." He said.

"It's fine Jack. What should I wear?" She asked.

"What you've got on is fine." He said.

"Jack." She sighed heavily.

"Is this weird because I don't want us to suddenly be weird?" He asked.

"I think we established that you're weird a long time ago Jack." She answered with a mischievous grin, making him chuckle.

"I've got to get back, but I'll see you at six and just dress casual." He told her and slid out of the booth, standing and holding his hand out to pull her up.

She stood in front of him watching him study her face for the briefest of moments before leaning in and kissing her softly on the mouth.

"I'll see you tonight." He said, tossing money onto the table and turning to leave.

Kate watched him walk out of the restaurant, the soft, sweet kiss leaving her in a dream-like state for a moment. It wasn't a hot, lusty, toe-curling kiss, but it didn't need to be. The only thing that mattered was that she didn't have to steal it from him. Did this mean that she hadn't scared him off and that maybe he'd enjoyed their kiss after the dinner as much as she had?

Kate stood outside the door to Jack's condo remembering the last time she had done the same and shuddered, the humiliation she'd felt when the woman wearing nothing but a towel walked out almost too much for her to recount without needing to seek out a large rock to crawl under. Her mind then wandered back to the woman in the towel and what that represented. Was he really just a player under that sweet façade? Did he have a bedpost full of notches? Was he expecting her to be the next notch? Did she want to be his next notch? What was she doing? Why did she agree to this? Why did she attack his mouth the way she did and why did she allow him to attack back? She wasn't anything like any woman she'd seen Jack with. She never really got to know any of those women, but she assumed they were all sophisticated and highly educated and had never tried to eat his face off just because he asked them out on a date. She was about to turn around and run when the door opened suddenly, scaring both of them.

"Jesus Kate." He said and put his hand over his heart.

"What are you doing Jack?" She asked, as startled as he was.

"I'm going down the hall to unlock the door for Mrs. Grayson. She locks herself out at least three times a week. At least this time she had her cell phone with her. What are you doing? How long have you been standing here?" He asked.

"Not long. I was just getting ready to knock when you opened the door." She lied.

He knew he'd caught her in deep thought or deep into something else when he opened the door, but he decided not to push the issue because he was feeling as uneasy about what they were doing as she apparently was and understood why she might've been standing at his door thinking about changing her mind. He really liked Kate a lot, but he wasn't anything like what she typically dated and he assumed she would bore with him quickly and common sense was screaming at him to keep her at arms length. However, that kiss, that small taste of how good they could be together removed common sense from the equation and here they were, both wanting the same thing, but neither communicating that to the other.

"Go inside, make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." He said and smiled at her, snapping both of them out of their thoughts.

Kate noticed he was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and wondered what he was up to. The smell of meat on a grill hitting her nostrils once she got inside the condo told her what he was up to long before she saw the table set for dinner. She heard the door close and turned around. He approached her, placed his hands gently on her hips and pulled her closer.

"You cooked for me?" She asked.

"Too boring?" He asked.

"No, it's sweet, but you could've just said so Jack, you didn't need to make up some story about a consultation running late." Kate told him.

"But, then it wouldn't have been a surprise. You spend your days in a restaurant and I spend most of my meals in restaurants. I thought it would be nice to have a home cooked meal and then we can sit on the deck, drink wine and watch the sunset or take a walk on the beach." He offered.

"Sounds great. What can I do?" She asked.

"Nothing. It's your birthday. But if you want to go to the pantry and grab some napkins while I go turn the steaks you can do that." He said and let go of her, ignoring the overwhelming desire to kiss her for the moment.

He watched her enter the kitchen and begin looking for something that resembled a pantry.

"It's to your left, light switch is just outside the door." He called to her.

"It looks like the light is already on." She called back.

He stood quietly for a moment, heard her let out a squeal and laughed lightly.

Kate opened the door, studied the shelves looking for napkins, felt something around her feet, looked down and saw the furry little creature with a big red bow tied around his neck. She picked the little puppy up, hugging it and hurrying back out to the dining room to thank the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful man she'd ever had the pleasure of knowing.

"Oh my god Jack, he's so cute, I can't believe...how did you...when did you?" She asked excitedly, throwing her free arm around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"He's kind of the reason why I needed to lie to get you over here." Jack admitted, wrapping one arm around her waist to keep her close while he petted the puppy gently with his free hand.

"Look how cute he is. Do you see this face Jack? This is you when you want something from me. I think I have to name this little guy Jack. What do you think?" Kate asked.

Jack wrapped his other arm around her, pulled her closer and kissed her, feeling her free hand snake around into the back of his hair and deepening the kiss, quickly becoming consumed by her and how good she felt in his arms. He could feel the puppy squirming between them and broke the kiss, pulling back and smiling at her.

"I think as long as only one of the Jacks gets to kiss you on the mouth, I don't care what you name him." He teased.

"You're such a clean freak. Here, just let this little guy kiss you and tell me you don't love it." Kate said and pushed the puppy toward Jack's face, making him laugh.

He pulled his head back, refusing to allow the animal's little tongue to make contact with his face.

"Kate stop, please." He laughed.

"Oh come on Jack, he's so cute, how can you resist?" Kate asked and let the puppy lick her face, laughing at the way Jack scrunched his face up in disgust and shook his head.

He kissed her once more very quickly, and pulled away from her completely so he could tend to the steaks. Kate held the puppy close and watched him through the window, seeing him in a way she never had before or maybe in a way she always had, but because she refused to consider that she could ever be what he wanted or needed from a woman she'd filtered her view of him to spare herself the unnecessary heartache. Was he really as interested in her as he suddenly appeared to be? The way he'd just kissed her seemed to indicate that he was very interested and she felt a little confused about why after nearly a year he would suddenly be interested in her.

Jack could feel her eyes on him as he cooked the steaks and he thought about turning around just to confirm that she was thinking about him as much as he was thinking about her, but he didn't want to embarrass her and also didn't want to find out that he was just imagining things based on wishful thinking. He played the last kiss over and over in his head. It was good, too good and whatever this was between them would be intense if they allowed it to continue and at the moment, there was no part of him that wanted to stop it from continuing. While his heart seemed to know what it wanted, his mind was a different story and all the red flags were going up in his head screaming at him to be careful. He finally shook his head and laughed at himself.

"Jesus Jack, it was just a kiss, stop over analyzing." He mumbled to himself.


	11. Chapter 11

They sat at the table slowly eating the food Jack had prepared and not talking. Kate was on her third glass of wine and they were for the first time since they'd met uncomfortable with each other. Kate finally had enough and put her fork down. He picked up his wine glass to take a sip and looked over at her.

"So are we going to sleep together or what?" She blurted out making him choke on the bit of wine he'd just let into his mouth.

He wiped his mouth and looked at her, unsure of how he should respond and then he saw the familiar mischievous grin spread across her face and chuckled lightly.

"We are a bit uptight aren't we?" He agreed.

"Just a little. You asked me earlier if this was weird and maybe it is a little, but only because we're making it that way. You cooked this fabulous meal and if anyone had ever told me Jack Shephard could cook I would've told them they were crazy. Why aren't we talking about the fact that you're a chef disguised as a doctor?" She asked making him laugh.

"I think maybe tonight I'm a doctor disguised as a chef and even that would be a stretch." He said.

"No it wouldn't. Everything is so good. Who taught you how to cook like this?" She asked.

"I actually dated a chef once for about six months." He told her.

"You dated a chef and she taught you how to cook?" Kate asked and bit her bottom lip trying to keep the grin that wanted to spread across her face at bay.

"It wasn't like that smart ass." He told her.

"It's kind of sweet actually and I bet you looked really cute in your little apron and chef's hat." Kate teased.

"I never wore a hat. An apron was ALL that was allowed." He replied and looked at her, him now wearing the mischievous grin.

Kate studied him for a moment, finally understood what he was getting at, took a long drink of her wine and began giggling.

"Okay Jack, that's actually kind of hot." Kate admitted and held her wine glass out for him to refill.

"Just between you and me, it was a little weird, but hey, I picked up some culinary skills so the relationship wasn't a total waste of time." He said and filled her wine glass.

"Why was it weird?" Kate asked.

"Should I be having this conversation with you?" He asked and smiled at her.

"Yes!" She answered eagerly making him laugh lightly.

"It was weird because it wasn't just an occasional game. It was always, as in all the time, as in it never happened any other way." He told her.

She took another long sip of her wine, her eyes big and then suddenly bigger once it all sunk in, making him chuckle.

"So did you….well, you know…um, get busy before, during or after the dish got cooked?" She asked and finished her glass of wine sliding the empty glass toward him.

"I'm not answering that. You're pretty brazen when you're drunk." He told her and laughed lightly.

"I'm not drunk." She argued.

"You're not exactly sober either and you're going to be passed out in your dessert if you don't slow down." He said and refilled her wine glass.

"You made dessert too?" She asked her words beginning to slur some.

"No, I picked up a cake at that French pastry shop down the street from my office. Want some?" He asked.

"Maybe later, the sun is going down, let's go out on the deck and get comfortable. I'm ready to switch to beer." She said, standing and downing her glass of wine.

Jack watched her stumble out to the deck. Except on the couple of occasions when she had needed a shoulder to cry on, he'd never seen her drink more than a couple of beers, but tonight she seemed intent on obliterating herself. Was she so uncomfortable with where they were attempting to take their relationship that she needed to make herself blind drunk to get through the evening? Should he back off? She had initiated their first kiss and as far as he could tell she was into the kiss they had shared earlier, but maybe this was her way of dealing with the fact that she didn't want to be anything more than his friend and was trying to spare his feelings. He sighed heavily, grabbed a couple of cold beers from the refrigerator and joined her on the deck. He had a double chaise lounge on one side of the deck and she was kicked back on one side of it. He handed the bottle of beer to her and sat in the chair a few feet away from the chaise lounge.

"Are you not going to sit with me?" She asked.

"I thought you might want some space." He said.

"Aren't we supposed to be on a date?" She asked, her words slurring badly.

He nodded in agreement, smiled and took his place beside her on the chaise lounge. She immediately snuggled up next to him and he put his arm around her, the intimacy of the moment not lost on him and leaving him confused about what it was exactly she wanted from him and wondering if it even came close to what he found himself wanting to give her.

"So what kind of important job does the towel woman have?" Kate asked, her head on his chest, eyes closed and her arm draped over his middle.

"The towel woman; you mean Carly?" He asked.

"Yeah, the very pretty half-naked woman that I met briefly the other night." Kate said.

"Carly is the CEO of a pharmaceutical company." Jack told her.

"Of course she is. Why did you break up?" Kate asked.

"I don't think we were ever serious enough to have required an official break-up." Jack said.

"Do you cook surprise birthday dinners for all your girlfriends?" Kate asked.

"No, you're the first." Jack said.

"Am I your girlfriend Jack?" She asked.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend Kate?" He asked doing his best to not take much of what she was rambling on about in her drunken state too seriously.

"I don't think I'm qualified for the job." She said.

"Are you suggesting that being my girlfriend would be a chore?" He asked.

"No, no, of course not silly, it's just that, um….I forgot what I was going to say." She giggled.

"Maybe I should make you some coffee." He offered.

She lifted her head, her red, glassy, drunk eyes gazing heavily into his and she was so beautiful to him even in this state. She scooted up and swallowed him in a passionate kiss. He thought briefly about pushing her away, feeling like maybe he was taking advantage of the situation, but he knew he'd never allow it to go any further than kissing and gave into to his need to kiss her as passionately as she was kissing him. In desperate need for air, they broke the kiss and she pulled back and looked at him.

"Do you like me as much as I like you Jack?" She asked.

He looked into her eyes, smiled a little and rolled her onto her back, his face hovering just above hers.

"I hope that you like me as much as I like you." He told her and began kissing her again.

He wasn't sure how long they'd lain in each other's arms kissing, but when they finally came up for air it was dark and the air had a chill to it.

"It's getting chilly, you want to go inside?" He asked.

"The ocean is right there Jack. I think we should take our clothes off and go swimming." She told him and sat up ready to pull her shirt off.

"I think that would certainly sober you up in a hurry. The water can't be more than 50 degrees." He laughed and pulled her back down before she managed to disrobe in front of him.

"I don't want to sober up, I want to get naked. Don't you want to get naked with me Jack?" She slurred, so drunk he wasn't sure the Kate he knew was even in there anymore.

"Not like this Kate." He said.

"Like what? What's wrong Jack, am I not sexy to you?" She asked, her slurred tone taking on a bit of a whine.

"You are very sexy Kate. Come on, let's go inside and have some coffee and some birthday cake." He urged.

"Will you bring it out here to me? I like it out here." She asked.

"Do you promise you'll drink it if I bring it out here?" He asked.

"I promise. Can you bring a blanket too? I think I might have to spend the night out here." She giggled.

He decided that trying to carry on a conversation with her was a bit futile at this point, scooted off the chaise lounge and disappeared into the house to make a strong pot of coffee. He returned about 10 minutes later with a hot cup of coffee and a blanket for Kate, but she was nowhere to be found. He saw the pile of clothes and immediately looked out toward the ocean. It was very dark, but he could make out a figure lying on the beach. He set the coffee down, tucked the blanket under his arm and hurried toward the spot where the lifeless figure was lying. She was passed out, the tide washing over her. He threw the blanket over her, picked her up and carried her back to the house. He carried her into the bathroom and sat her on the toilet while he ran a tub of warm water. She was wet, cold and covered with sand, but otherwise unharmed. He slapped her cheeks trying to bring her around. She opened her eyes just a little and looked at him.

"Kate, I need you to wake up enough to sit in this tub of water without drowning. Can you do that?" He asked.

She nodded at him and let her head fall forward. She'd passed out again, making him chuckle, more relieved that she was okay than amused. He set her in the tub of water, supporting her with one arm while he grabbed the hand held shower head and gently washed all the sand away from her face, hair and upper body. He pulled the plug on the tub and lifted her out of the water, sitting her on the side of the tub so he could wrap a towel around her. He used another towel to dry her face and hair and then carried her into his bedroom. He pulled the bed coverings back and laid her down. He pulled the wet towel away from her body and covered her with the comforter. He leaned over her and kissed her on the forehead gently.

"Happy Birthday Kate." He said and left the room.


	12. Chapter 12

She wasn't sure if it was the searing pain in her head or the queasy feeling in her stomach that woke her, but she was sure she hadn't felt as bad as she felt at the moment in her entire life. She could tell she was in a bed, but she had no idea whose bed or any memory of how she'd gotten there. She opened her eyes, lifted the comforter, looked at her naked body and groaned.

Kate lay flat on her back with her eyes closed trying desperately to recall what had happened, or better yet what she had done. She was in Jack's bed that much she knew, but she had no idea how she got there or if she'd spent the night alone in his bed. The condo was quiet and daylight was streaming through the windows. She opened her eyes and sat up, looking around the room. There was a clock beside the bed that read 9:02AM. She had an hour and a half to pull herself together and get to work. She looked at the other side of the bed and saw the pile of neatly folded clothes along with a note.

"Was I so bad he felt he couldn't face me?" She mumbled to herself.

She picked the note up and read it.

_Kate,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up. I had an early surgery scheduled that couldn't be rescheduled. Your puppy is in his kennel in the kitchen and there is aspirin in the cupboard above the coffee pot. Help yourself to anything you need. I won't have time for lunch today, but I would like to see you tonight. If it's okay with you, I'll pick you up at your place at 7 PM and we can have dinner and talk because I think we really need to talk. If this isn't good for you send me a text message, otherwise I'll see you tonight._

_Jack_

Kate dropped the note on the bed and ran for the bathroom, finally paying the price for indulging in entirely too much alcohol the night before. After two more trips to the bathroom to relieve her body of the wine and beer she decided that there was no way she could go to work and called in sick. She found the aspirin Jack spoke of in his note and crawled back into his bed. When she awoke the next time it was nearly 3 PM. Her headache was manageable and her stomach had settled. She dressed, grabbed her puppy and went home.

She considered sending Jack a text message and suggesting they never see each other again, but knew never seeing him again wasn't realistic so she'd just suck it up, face whatever she'd done the night before and hope she hadn't completely ruined things between them.

He'd been so sweet and she showed her appreciation by getting stinking drunk. She couldn't remember ever being with any man that would be thoughtful enough to replace a lost furry friend, cook her dinner for her birthday, or hell even bother to remember her birthday and she felt terrible for spoiling what he had apparently put quite a bit of thought and effort into. What did he feel they needed to talk about? Had they slept together? Surely she would remember that and surely she would've been able to tell if she'd had sex wouldn't she? Was Jack the kind of guy that would sleep with a woman and let her wake up to a note? She woke up naked and he felt like they needed to talk. Of course they slept together what else could it be?

"You're such an idiot Kate." She mumbled to herself as she ran herself a hot bubble bath.

Jack stepped out of the shower in the surgeon's locker room, his mind and body exhausted. He dressed slowly and looked at his watch. It was already after six. He grabbed his cell phone and scrolled through all the text messages, the last one was from her. _"How about we stay in and order out. See you at seven!"_ He smiled, relieved that he wasn't going to have to endure a crowded restaurant and happy that she was willing to see him. He assumed she'd gotten so drunk because she was feeling very apprehensive about their friendship suddenly turning into something more and he was afraid she wouldn't want to be alone with him.

Kate heard the knock on the door and yelled for him to come in. He opened the door to her apartment, closed it and stood for a moment, smitten by the sight of her. She was lying on the couch in shorts and a t-shirt with the puppy sleeping on her chest and he noticed that he was beginning to feel like a lovesick school boy every time he laid eyes on her. She turned her head and laughed lightly.

"Are you just going to stand there all night?" She asked.

"Huh, no, I'm sorry. I was just…..so, how are you feeling?" He asked.

"Like I drank more liquor in one night than I've drank in my entire life." She told him and sat up

He moved across the room and sat beside her, dropping the deli take-out he had in his hands onto the coffee table.

"You brought me chicken soup?" Kate asked.

"No, it's that French Onion soup you like and a turkey Panini." He answered and relaxed into the couch.

"God Jack you look exhausted." Kate said noticing he was literally dragging.

"I am. I just spent 11 hours trying to put my patient back together." He told her and rubbed his hands over his face appearing as though he was so tired speaking was a chore.

"Did you?" She asked.

"Did I what?" He asked and rubbed a gentle hand over the puppy that had just crawled into his lap.

"Put him back together?" She asked.

"Yeah, but he died anyway." Jack sighed.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Yeah, me too." He said and let his head fall back onto the couch cushion.

"Want a beer or a soda or something?" She asked.

"A beer would be great and you'll probably need to heat that soup up. Traffic was a bitch." He said, head still tilted back and eyes closed.

Kate left him sitting with the puppy in his lap and took the food into the kitchen to warm it up. She returned about five minutes later and both he and the puppy were asleep. She tried to put a pillow under his head and he woke up.

"Shit, I'm sorry Kate." He said and sat up suddenly. He set the startled puppy down on the floor, removed his tie and opened the first few buttons of his dress shirt.

"It's okay. If you're tired Jack, go to sleep." She said sweetly.

"No, I just need to eat, I'll be fine." He said and took a long drink of the beer.

They sat quietly and ate their food, the noticeable tension between them starting to get to both of them. She finally spoke up.

"Jack, I'm sorry about last night. You did something so nice for me and I ruined it." She apologized.

"You didn't ruin anything Kate, but I am concerned about why you felt like you needed to drink like that." He told her.

"I guess I was just trying to relax." She said.

"Kate, I really like you a lot, but I really don't like all this tension between us. Do you want to go back to the way things were?" He asked.

"Do you?" She asked.

"I don't know, maybe. I guess I don't understand what's going on with you. If you aren't into me in that way, it's okay, just say so. You don't have to crawl inside a bottle of wine to get away from me." He said.

"Is that what you think?" She asked.

"I don't know what to think Kate. One minute you're turning down a dinner invitation, then you show up ready to go without warning, then you accept a dinner invitation and are so uncomfortable you get drunk and start taking your clothes off. You're all over the place and I'm not mad or anything, I'm just confused about what it is you want from me." He explained.

"Maybe I'm confused too Jack. I've known you for almost a year and you've never acted like you were the least bit interested in being anything more than my friend, but I have to tell you Jack, I've never had a friend or a boyfriend kiss me like you kissed me last night so I'm confused about why all of the sudden you want more. Why me Jack, and why now?" She asked.

"I don't know, I guess now was as good a time as any and why not you?" He asked.

"I'm not a chef or a CEO or a pediatric nurse or some well bred high society girl. I'm a high school graduate with a couple of years of college under my belt that waits tables for a living. I got so drunk because I felt like I didn't belong there with you. What could you and I possibly have in common?" She asked, getting emotional and allowing a tear to escape down her cheek.

"Hey, don't cry. It's going to be okay. We just aren't communicating Kate." He said, pulling her in for a hug.

"What did I do last night Jack?" She asked, crying harder and refusing to look at him.

"Kate, what's wrong? Why are you so upset?" He asked.

"I really like you Jack and I didn't want to be the slutty white trash waitress that jumped right into bed with you and I've ruined everything." She cried.

He continued to hold her, distressed over the fact that she had such a low opinion of herself, of her worth, and of how he saw her.

"Kate, we didn't sleep together last night." He told her.

"We didn't? Do you swear?" She asked through her tears, her head on his shoulder.

He laid back onto the couch and pulled her down with him, holding her and rubbing his hand gently over her back trying to calm her down and starting to realize that he'd been reading her all wrong. He began to understand that he'd been an idiot, that he had missed all the signals and that perhaps she was even more invested in this thing between them happening than he was, if that were possible.

"Kate you've known me a long time. Do you really think I'm the type of guy that would take advantage of a situation like that?" She asked.

"No, but you're human, and if I were being slutty enough then why would you turn it down? You said I took my clothes off." She said.

"Would you please stop with the demeaning comments about yourself Kate and what the hell is considered slutty anyway? I appreciate when a woman that I happen to like very much lets me know she wants to be with me." He said.

"Is that what I did?" She asked.

"Well yeah, sort of, but Kate, if it was the alcohol talking, that's perfectly okay too. Do you really not remember any of it?" He asked.

"The last thing I remember is being wrapped up with you, kissing in that big lounge chair and that was really nice by the way, but then it all gets really fuzzy after that. Is that when I took my clothes off?" She asked.

"No. You decided to go skinny dipping in the ocean while I was inside making you some coffee. I brought you inside and put you to bed. That's all. Nothing happened I promise." He assured her.

"But you saw me naked?" She asked.

"Yes I did, but it was dark and I was more concerned with keeping you from drowning than checking you out." He lied.

He opted not to mention the part about the bath or how maybe he stole a brief, but lingering glance before he covered her up or how having stolen that glance had kept him from sleeping as he found himself obsessing over every curve of her beautiful body and that coupled with 11 straight hours of surgery was why he was was so tired he could barely see straight.

"I'm so embarrassed Jack and I'm sorry you had to deal with that, it couldn't have been a pretty sight." She said.

"You're a pretty sight no matter what you're doing." He said sweetly.

"You probably say that to all the girls." She said.

"No, just the really beautiful ones and you are one of the really beautiful ones Kate, inside and out. I think we've both been so busy convincing ourselves that we aren't what each other wants, that we've missed what's been right in front of us all along." He said.

"Does that mean you want to give this, us, another chance?" She asked.

"That depends." He said.

"On what?" She asked.

"On how long it is you plan on waiting before you're ready to jump into bed with me." He said with a grin, making her pretend to be offended and slap at his chest, both of them laughing.

She stopped, sitting up now straddling his waist and looking down into his soft, watery eyes. He reached up and let his fingers glide slowly down the side of her face, allowing them to linger along her jaw-line and smiling at her.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing, I was just thinking that we're back. You're my best friend Kate and I don't think I could stand it if you ever weren't." He said softly.

"I'd miss it too Jack. You're very special to me. How could you think that I'm not into you in every way possible?" She asked.

He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him.

"How could you think that you don't belong with me?" He asked.

They smiled at one another and he pulled her in for a kiss. A long, wet passionate kiss that grew hungrier and hungrier, their bodies beginning to react as they fell back onto the couch, holding tightly to one another, their mouths locked together, both dropping their protective barriers and allowing themselves to feel all of it. They separated for a moment, foreheads touching and both feeling breathless.

"Can I ask you something and you'll tell me the truth?" She asked.

"Okay." He answered.

"You checked me out at least just a little didn't you?" She asked.

"Kate." He started to object.

"No Jack, be honest because trust me if the shoe had been on the other foot, I would've taken a good long look and committed every detail to memory." She told him making him chuckle.

"Okay, I admit it. I'm a pervert and just so you know, I actually did commit every detail to memory." He told her, making her smile.

"Does that mean you liked what you saw?" She asked.

"I don't think like is a strong enough word, but yes I did, very much." He replied.

"That's good to know Jack, because when I said I wanted to be with you, it wasn't the alcohol talking." She told him in a breathy tone and closed her mouth over his again.


	13. Chapter 13

They lay on the couch kissing, their hands beginning to explore one another through their clothing the insecurities each had been feeling seemingly no longer an issue. When she unbuttoned his shirt and moved her hands all over his upper body he was certain the temperature in the room rose at least 20 degrees and when she allowed him a handful of her breast he wasn't sure how much further he could let this go before he would be too far gone to pull back. He thought that maybe he should slow them down because he didn't want another disastrous date with her. He wanted to build something lasting with this woman and he could now assume with certainty that she wanted the same thing, and he didn't want to screw that up by moving too fast. They pressed their bodies closer together and he knew she could feel what she was doing to him, but she didn't pull away. He slipped his fingers just inside the waistband of her shorts, wanting her too much to stop just yet, deciding he could enjoy more of her and force himself to hold up at third base regardless of how painful that might be. He was just about to reposition them so he would have better access to what he was dying to explore when the puppy began yelping in distress.

They separated and peered over the edge of the couch, both sitting up immediately. Kate grabbed the puppy and picked him up. He'd been chewing on and playing with Jack's tie and had it twisted around his little body and more importantly around his neck.

"Help him Jack he's going to choke to death." Kate pleaded with him.

Jack took the puppy from her and tried to slip a couple of fingers in-between the tie and the puppy's throat, but it wouldn't budge. The tie was slowly strangling the life out of him and he couldn't find any way to loosen it.

"Get me some scissors and hurry." He told her.

Kate hurried to the kitchen and returned quickly with a pair of scissors.

"Hold his head back as much as you can, I don't want to cut him." He said.

The puppy had stopped squirming and Kate began to panic.

"Jack hurry he's not breathing!" She pleaded.

"Listen you, I'm not about to perform mouth-to-mouth on a dog, so you just hang in there for 10 more seconds." Jack spoke calmly as he began cutting away the tie with surgical skill.

He freed the dog's throat and began untangling the rest of his body. He felt the warm little tongue licking his hand and breathed a sigh of relief, not ready to have to cart a dead puppy away while the woman he cared an awful lot about watched. Kate pulled the puppy from Jack's lap and hugged him.

"PJ that was so bad. You could've died and look what you did to Jack's tie." Kate scolded the puppy, while hugging and kissing on him, making Jack laugh lightly.

"That's some real effective discipline you've got going on there Kate. You'll make an interesting parent some day." He teased.

"Hush you. I don't see you all that eager to punish him either. Go ahead, let him have it tough guy." Kate said and held the puppy up, the cute furry little face staring right at him.

"Nah, I'm just glad he's okay." Jack said and scratched gently under its chin.

"Yeah, I knew you were a big softie. I'm really sorry about your tie though. I'll get you a new one." Kate said.

"I've got dozens of ties. It's not a big deal. Besides, it was my fault for leaving it lying around. PJ?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's short for Puppy Jack." Kate told him.

"You seriously named that dog after me?" Jack laughed.

"Of course I did, and as much fun as it would be to call "Jack" and have both of you come running, I decided it might get too confusing." Kate teased.

"Oh, so I'm just going to come running whenever you call my name huh?" Jack asked.

"You won't?" She asked and shot him a fake sad face.

"That won't work. It's only your real sad face that breaks down all my defenses." He said and kissed her softly.

"Does that mean you would've given him mouth to mouth to save him?" She asked, her face sweet, but serious.

"Oh yeah, in a heartbeat." He admitted almost shyly.

"So Jack, what kind of dog is PJ? He kind of looks like a Yorkie, but then he kind of doesn't." Kate said.

"You said you don't like pet shop pets because you feel like them being caged and put on display like that makes them unstable and you said you don't really care for pure breeds because they are too temperamental so when it came time to pick out a puppy for you I had to seek out the perfect mutt. I think the people I bought him from did mention Yorkie, which was probably in reference to the mom since they weren't sure who the dad was. I guess PJ's mom was bit loose." Jack teased making her giggle.

"Do you have any idea how adorable the image of you shopping for a puppy is? I can't believe you were actually listening when I was boring you with my theories about pets." Kate said and kissed him on the cheek.

"I always listen when you're talking Kate." He said and smiled at her.

"I should take him outside for a bit and then kennel him for the night. Grab yourself another beer and relax. I'll be back in about 10 or 15 minutes." She said, kissing him and then putting PJ up to his face.

Jack pushed the puppy away gently.

"I'm not kissing the dog Kate. There are limits to what you can get me to do." He laughed.

"We'll see." She said and winked at him.

He watched her walk out the front door with the dog and then allowed himself to fall back onto the cushions, dropping a throw pillow under his head and closing his eyes. He just wanted to rest for a few minutes, just until she was done caring for the dog.

Kate returned about 15 minutes later, took one look at him and smiled. She grabbed a pillow from her bed and a blanket and brought it out to the living room. She picked up the food containers and wrappers and the empty beer bottle and returned. She carefully removed his shoes and he stirred a little. She waited for him to settle again and threw the blanket over him. She pulled the throw pillow out from under his head to insert the bed pillow and his eyes popped open.

"You're so tired Jack, please just go back to sleep." She said softly and brushed a gentle hand over the side of his face.

"Want to lay down with me? We can watch tv." He offered, his voice quiet as he fought to clear his head.

She decided if she lay down with him he'd probably go back to sleep and snuggling up next to him wasn't exactly unpleasant so she happily moved in beside him, allowing him to wrap his arm around her. She found something on television they both agreed on and he was asleep again within 10 minutes. She joined him about 20 minutes later.

She woke about an hour later and coaxed his sleepy body off the couch and into the bedroom where he could stretch out and really rest. His brain was caught some place between sleep and consciousness so he didn't put up a fight. He just let her take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom. She told him to strip down and he took off everything but his boxers and she swallowed hard. He was as beautiful on the outside as he was on the inside, his body lean and firm and on display for her. He slipped between the sheets and she snuggled up next to him letting her head rest on his chest. He wrapped an instinctive protective arm around her and was out again, as exhausted as she'd ever known him to be.

He wasn't sure what time it was when he woke up, he just knew it was early morning, very early morning. He carefully moved her off of him and moved out of the bed, looking for the bathroom. He managed to navigate around the room without waking her up, the streetlights outside making the room more dim than dark. He took care of business and returned to the bed. He really wasn't sure why he was in his boxers in bed with her, but he was okay with it as long as she was and judging by the way her body had been draped all over his she was fine with the arrangement. He glanced at the clock and carefully and quietly slipped back into the bed and closed his eyes, needing just five or ten minutes to wake up before he got up for good. He felt her moving up over his chest and opened his eyes again. She kissed him softly and laid her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry I woke you." He said softly.

"I'm not." She whispered and brought her mouth to his again.

He kissed her back, both a little too eager as far as he was concerned. He wanted to make love to her, but not yet, not until he was sure she wasn't going to regret it afterward. He could feel the methodic way her thigh was making contact with his groin and gently rolled her onto her back, kissing her some more and then finally pulling back. He gazed into her eyes, brushed the wild hairs away from her face and smiled at her.

"As much as I would love to do this, I'm going to have to ask, no beg for a rain check." He said regretfully.

"Why?" She asked.

"I have to be at work soon and I don't want to be rushed. I don't want to have one eye on you and one on the clock, plus I think it would be kind of nice if we could have at least one date where one of us doesn't fall asleep on the other. I'm sorry about that Kate. I was beyond tired last night." He apologized.

"It's okay Jack. You're really cuddly when you're that tired and that was nice." She told him.

"Can I see you tonight?" He asked.

"Can't. I'm closing tonight. I'm free tomorrow night though." She said.

"Okay, we'll definitely do something tomorrow night, but what about today? Want to meet me for lunch?" He asked.

"Sure. What time?" She asked.

"I should be free for a couple of hours by noon. Want to meet me some place?" He asked.

"No, you should come here, let me make you lunch." She offered.

"Kate, you don't..." He started to object.

"Shut up Jack. Just come here as soon as you are free and I promise you won't regret it. You aren't the only one with culinary skills you know." She said and smiled at him.

He smiled back, nodding in agreement and then kissing her some more. It was a long, lingering, wet kiss that led to hands roaming, bodies heating up and uncontrollable moans emitting from both of them. He felt her hand brushing lightly over his hardening length and gently pulled it away, placing it on the pillow beside her head and smiling at her.

"I know why you're resisting Jack and it's got nothing to do with work. It's because of me and what I said last night." She said and tried to pull him back down for another kiss.

"Kate, I think we should slow down, take our time, get to know each other better." He said even though his body was screaming for him to take her right then and there.

"Jack, we've been getting to know one another for the past year." She argued.

"That's true, but how well do we really know each other? I haven't shared all the intimate details of my life and I'm sure you haven't either. I want you to want me, the real me, not the guy you think you know." He explained.

"Jack, I doubt there is anything more real than what you've already shown me. I know I've been a little crazy and insecure, but I want you and I promise I won't regret it afterward. I'll only want you more." She promised.

"What about protection? I didn't come over here with this in mind." He said.

"You mean you don't walk around with one in your wallet so you'll always be ready?" She teased.

"Not since I was in my early 20s." He chuckled, feeling a bit embarrassed that he was completely unprepared for this.

"It's okay Jack, I'm a sexually active woman who until now, never would've trusted a man to care enough to be prepared so I've got you covered……..literally." She told him and pulled him in for another wet, passionate kiss.

He finally pulled back, went up onto his knees and pulled her up to face him. He placed both hands at the hem of her t-shirt and looked into her eyes.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"That depends." She said.

"Yeah? Depends on what?" He played along.

"Depends on whether or not you're willing to be very late for work this morning." She said in a sexy tone.


	14. Chapter 14

He took hold of the hem of her t-shirt and slowly pulled it up over her head and off, dropping it on the bed beside him. He reached out and pushed her hair behind her shoulders, taking in the full view and noticing the slight drop of her head, as if she were feeling self-conscious. He laid her back onto the mattress and pillows gently and kissed her softly, his body hovering just above hers, the hair on his chest and stomach just barely grazing her freshly exposed upper body.

"God you're beautiful." He spoke softly and then placed light kisses along her throat and upper chest.

She reached behind her, opening one of the small cabinets that were part of the bed's headboard. She reached inside, retrieved what she was after and closed the cabinet door. She held the condom up in front of him, her once confident demeanor suddenly replaced by a nervousness he could only describe as cute. He smiled at her and kissed along her upper chest a little more before pulling back and looking into her eyes. He took the condom from her and placed it on top of the headboard.

"We'll get back to that." He said softly, sweetly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rush you." She said and swallowed hard.

"I hope not, you did just threaten to make me really late for work." He teased trying to help her relax.

"I'm sorry, I'm just……..I can't believe this is really happening." She told him, her bottom lip quivering slightly.

"Do you want to stop? It's okay if you do." He asked.

"No!" She protested strongly, making him chuckle lightly.

"God, I'm so pathetic." She groaned.

"Kate, it's okay. I get it and I feel it too." He said and kissed her again.

It wasn't another soft, short kiss, not this time. He pressed his body into hers and let go of every bit of passion he was feeling, her mouth opening wide and hungrily returning the passion, her busy mind settling and becoming completely absorbed in the moment, her anxious body relaxing and once again reacting to him. His hands moved slowly over her heated flesh as he let her roll him onto his back, her breasts smashed into his chest as she continued to devour his mouth.

She could feel his hands slip down the back of her shorts, cupping her butt gently and squeezing while his hips ground up into her slowly, the part of him she was both nervous about and dying to meet still trapped beneath the material of his boxers, becoming erect and making contact with her. She moved off to the side and continued to kiss him while she carefully slipped her hand inside the opening in his boxers and gently gripped him, causing him to let go of a hissing sound and begin trying to push her shorts and panties down.

She began working him slowly with her hand and his body went still, his eyes closed and enjoying the feeling of her soft hand wrapped around him. He relaxed completely and allowed her to go for awhile, softly verbalizing his appreciation of the moment and restoring her confidence. When she felt him grow and harden in her hand she grew wetter and needier and reached for the condom again. He opened his eyes and gently took hold of her wrist.

"Not yet." He said and rolled her onto her back.

He hovered over her again, placing soft kisses over her upper body while she squirmed beneath him, completely into what was happening between them and all signs of nervousness gone. He gently guided her arms up and above her head, holding them there and kissing her while he worked his boxers down past his hips, over his thighs and to his knees. He continued to kiss her and worked them down the rest of his legs and off, his nude body gently grazing every part of her partially nude body and making her moan loudly.

He smiled and pulled his mouth away from hers, moving it down her chest slowly until he found her right nipple. He teased the bud with the tip of his tongue while his fingers gently pinched the bud of her left nipple. Small beads of sweat were forming on the skin between her breasts, her back arching when his mouth closed completely over her nipple and sucked while his hand gently massaged the other side.

He slowly moved his head down, placing soft kisses on her stomach while his fingers gripped the elastic waistband of her shorts and began pulling them down, stopping half-way, leaving her partially exposed and extremely turned on. He sat up on his knees, gazing down at her in an almost trancelike fashion while his finger traced gently over her bikini line and then down to the tuft of brown hair that was partially exposed. He slowly finished removing her shorts and panties, her smell, her desire, her need hitting his nose and forcing him to close his eyes and reel himself back in.

He moved back up, lying beside her and kissing her, their tongues battling for dominance while his hand moved down her body, her opening up for him and crying out when he pushed a long finger into her, burying it deep inside of her. She was so wet and so ready for him that he could've added more fingers, but she was deriving so much pleasure from the one finger slowly moving in and out, up and through her now saturated crease and then back in that he didn't see the point. He also selfishly wanted her to be as tight as possible when he finally buried himself inside of her, wanted to feel her walls stretching and adjusting while slowly sucking him in and surrounding him with her slick heat because he believed being connected to Kate like that would be a pleasure unlike any he'd ever known.

"Please Jack." She pleaded with him, her body beginning to quiver.

"Please what?" He mumbled, kissing her hard and moving his finger in and out of her at a faster pace, feeling her open wider and groaning against her mouth.

He kept his finger buried inside of her and pulled away from her mouth. He moved quickly down her body until his head was positioned between her legs and began slowly sucking and fucking her at the same time. He felt her grab two handfuls of his hair, felt her toes digging into his back just below his rib cage and then heard her let go of a string of profanity that was so naughty he nearly came with her.

He pulled his mouth away and watched her. She was so sexy and so beautiful and she was responding to him, a reality he'd never allowed himself to dream about, sure that he could never hope to keep her interested for very long in or out of the bedroom. She began to relax, noticed the way he was watching her and felt a warmth rush through her body that was unlike anything she'd ever felt in her life. She reached for the condom again and this time he was ready for it.

She wasn't sure, but when she felt him push into her she thought she screamed. It could've been that she wanted to scream to the world, to make everyone take notice and see that Jack Shephard was making love to her that made her wonder if she actually had verbalized what she was feeling, but she didn't waste much time wondering about it. He was inside her, moving at a steady pace and it felt so good she couldn't wrap her mind around much else. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, found his mouth and shared a wet, sloppy kiss with him as they rocked together in an already perfect rhythm.

Jack had been with his fair share of women, had always done his best to be a considerate and generous lover and believed he had a satisfying sex life and he had, the women he'd known in that way always eager to please and be pleased. This was different though, good different, but definitely different. He cared an awful lot about Kate. His feelings for her ran deeper than he probably ever wanted to admit, but in this moment he could allow himself to admit he had very deep feelings for her and was doing his best to convey that to her.

She tightened around him, tilted her head back and panted her way through another orgasm, keeping the profanity to a minimum this time. He rolled them onto their sides, pulled her leg up over his hip and pushed in as deep as he could get, pulling their bodies together and holding her tight. He backed out slowly and then pushed back in slowly, taking his time and enjoying her for as long as he could stand to. She was overwhelmed with emotions she never would've imagined as she held tightly to him, moaning with each thrust, his tongue in her mouth and seeming to be in perfect rhythm with the part of him that was filling her so perfectly she was about to come again.

Their bodies were covered with sweat as he continued to thrust in and out of her, both wanting and not wanting it to end. She felt him make one final thrust in as deep as he could go and hold it, his body jerking as he released, his face buried, sucking hard on the skin below her shoulder as he came. She continued to grind into him, her orgasm on the edge, just out of reach and he stilled her body, her movements too painful for him and then she felt him begin to gently thrust again, bringing the orgasm out of her and then both stilling completely, their bodies spent and their brains ready to sleep.

She felt him slip out of her and opened her eyes. He smiled and kissed her softly.

"I'll be right back." He said softly.

He moved off the bed to take care of the condom. He returned to the bed, lay down and invited her to snuggle up next him if she wanted to. She curled up next to him and he pulled a sheet over their lower bodies.

"I thought you had to go to work." She said.

"I do, but I'd rather lie here with you for awhile. I'll just have to be a little less chatty during rounds this morning." He said sleepily.

"It's hard to picture you as chatty. I use to have to pry things out of you when we first met." Kate said.

"I'm not, but I've got this one patient that likes to talk my ear off and she's kind of hard to resist." Jack admitted and tightened his hold on her.

"An irresistible female patient? Should I be jealous?" She asked.

"She's eleven Kate." Jack yawned.

"Is kind to puppies and children and likes to cuddle after sex. You better be careful Jack, a girl could fall in love with you pretty easily." Kate said.

He didn't respond and she looked up. He was asleep. She decided if he really had to be to work any time soon he wouldn't have gone to sleep, let her head rest back on his chest, closed her eyes and joined him.

Jack woke up 30 minutes later, carefully moved her off him, kissed her softly and quietly dressed and left the apartment. He went home showered, dressed and managed to get to the hospital before the breakfast trays made their way to his patients. He took care of the new patients he had scheduled that morning in his office and sat in on a consult later that morning at the hospital. It was about 11:20 AM and he was about to head back to his office when his pager went off. He was being paged to the ER. He moved quickly toward the ER, saw the ambulances lining up outside and the next thing he knew he was sitting in the surgeon's locker room in his blood-stained surgical scrubs. He rubbed his hands over his face, slowly allowing his brain to settle down and shift gears. When he finally managed to successfully push the trauma of the day out of his mind, she was the first thing he thought of. He looked at the clock, saw it was after 7 PM and groaned.

"Sleep with her and then stand her up. Good Jack, real good." He grumbled, slamming the door to his locker shut and walking toward the showers.


	15. Chapter 15

He entered the restaurant and stopped, scanning the area for the familiar face, but not seeing her. He approached the bar and sat down. A familiar face approached him and dropped a menu in front of him.

"No thanks Mac, actually I was looking for Kate. Is she not working tonight?" Jack asked.

"She was supposed to, but she wasn't feeling well." Mac answered.

"Not feeling well? Was she sick?" Jack asked.

"No, I don't think she was sick, but something was upsetting her pretty bad. One of the girls found her crying in the walk-in so I gave her the night off." Mac told him.

"Great." Jack mumbled to himself.

"I don't want to pry Jack, but I saw the two of you in here the other day. You aren't the reason she was crying in the walk-in are you?" Mac asked.

"Yeah Mac, I think I am. Do you know if she went home? I've been trying her cell for the last hour and she's got it turned off." Jack said.

"No idea Jack. You really aren't going to make me choose between my best customer and my best waitress are you?" Mac asked, the large bearded man a friend to all.

"I think Kate wins that decision every time." Jack said and laughed lightly.

"I'd rather keep both of you around." Mac said.

"Me too Mac. Um, I should get going, see if I can find her. Thanks." Jack said and moved off the bar stool.

He drove to her apartment, but found it dark and deserted. He drove to her favorite coffee shop, but she wasn't there. He drove to the park where she liked to sit and watch the kids play and to the bowling alley where she liked to beat him and gloat about it, but there was no sign of her. She didn't have family in the area or if she did he didn't know about it and he didn't know any of her friends very well so he gave up and decided to go home and keep trying to call her.

He could tell someone was inside the moment he opened the door to his condo and when he spotted the dog kennel in the entry hall the sudden rush of relief that washed over him surprised him. He felt terrible for upsetting her, for making her think all he wanted was in her pants and was dumping her and that was normal. However, not being able to find her had scared him and made his stomach hurt and if he didn't know how bad he had it for this woman earlier he knew now. He was in deep and he wasn't even sure how he managed to get there.

He could see her out on the deck, her back to the door, staring out at the ocean. He grabbed a couple of beers and walked out onto the deck. He approached her from behind and reached over the top of her head to hand her the bottle of beer.

"I've been looking all over for you." He said and dropped himself onto the double chaise lounge.

"You found me." She said and sat the beer on the deck beside her.

"How'd you get in here?" He asked.

"You left me a key the other day so I could lock up when I left. I still had it." She said, picking the dog up and then standing up herself.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I gave you your key back and now I'm going home." She said.

"Kate, I'm sorry about lunch. I got tied up." He sighed.

"You couldn't pick up a phone?" She asked.

"No, I couldn't. There was an emergency and mangled bodies were coming in quicker than we could treat them. I didn't have time to think about my personal life." He told her.

"You act like you're not even sorry Jack." She mumbled and entered the house.

He moved off the lounge chair and went after her, watching her kennel the puppy and then grabbing her arm and turning her around to face him.

"I need to go Jack." She told him, tears filling her eyes quickly and spilling over.

"Kate I feel terrible and I am so sorry that this happened and that I made you feel the way you are feeling right now, but I can't be in a relationship where I have to apologize for being a doctor. I don't like it any more than you do, but it is what it is and what happened today will happen again." He told her.

She stood in front of him feeling both hurt and ashamed and so unsure about everything that she couldn't respond. All she could do was give him that look, that sad, defeated look that could get him to agree to anything. He gently pulled her into his chest and hugged her.

"Kate, this morning was so great. Please tell me you aren't standing here regretting it." He said softly and kissed the side of her head.

"I woke up and you were gone. Why would you just leave like that? Was it because of what I said?" She asked.

"Because of what you said, what did you say?" He asked.

"I was just joking Jack so you don't need to be afraid of my feelings for you." She told him and pulled out of his embrace.

"Kate, what are you talking about and why would I be afraid of your feelings for me?" Jack asked.

"Never mind, I'm just being mental." She sighed and turned away from him.

He turned her to face him again, held onto her arms at the shoulders and bent down so he could look into her eyes.

"I left because I had to go to work and you were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't see any reason to wake you, especially since I was going to see you in just a few hours. I don't know what's going on with you, but Kate I care about you a lot and would never intentionally hurt you. You have to believe that." He told her.

"Jack, I'm trying hard to believe in you, but I always come back to wondering why this really great guy wants to be with me. When I joked around about your traits making a girl fall in love with you and then you just disappeared and I never heard from you the whole day I assumed the worst, that I was just another conquest, an itch that needed to be scratched." She explained.

He'd assumed she was feeling used, but hearing her say it and in such a cold, tacky manner struck a nerve and he suddenly felt angry.

"Did I treat you like a conquest or an itch this morning Kate?" He asked, his tone telling her she'd pushed a button.

"No, but….." She argued.

"But what? If all I had wanted to do was fuck you Kate, then trust me, that's all I would've done." He spat angrily and walked back out to the patio.

She followed him, standing above the chaise lounge he'd plopped himself back onto.

"I'm sorry Jack. What we shared this morning was wonderful, it was. I'm confused and I'm scared and everything is coming out all wrong." She told him, chewing on her bottom lip and wiping a fresh tear away.

He pulled her down onto the chaise with him. She laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I owe you one free slap across the face." He said.

"I don't want to slap you, but I don't think I can do this Jack. We made a mistake." She said sadly.

He let go of her and sat up, looking down at her, the hurt in his eyes and all over his face more than she expected and almost more than she could bear.

"You know I knew better." He said and let go of sick laugh.

"No Jack, it's not you, it's me. I've been behaving like a lunatic and I hate feeling like I felt all day today. This just isn't going to work. I'm sorry." She said.

"Don't be. I knew that sleeping with you so soon would be a mistake, but I let it happen anyway. Live and learn right?" He said in a defeated tone, stood and walked back into the condo.

She stood and followed him inside, watched him grab another beer and drop himself down onto the couch. He loosened his tie and the first few buttons on his shirt and relaxed back into the cushions.

"Jack, please don't hate me." She pleaded with him.

"I don't hate you." He mumbled.

"I'm going to leave PJ with you. I don't think I can…" She tried to explain.

"Grow up Kate!" He snapped.

"You're angry." She said.

"I gave you that puppy for your birthday because I care about you and wanted to give you something that would make you happy. You love that dog and now because we slept together and you didn't like it and don't want to see me anymore you're just going to toss him out like yesterdays' garbage?" Jack asked, as angry and hurt as she'd ever known him to be.

"Jack please, I need you to be okay with this, I need you to still be my friend." She pleaded with him.

"Is that what friends do Kate? They have a bad experience and suddenly want to get rid of all the reminders?" He asked.

"Would you stop! It wasn't a bad experience! This isn't about you!" She yelled.

"You're wrong Kate. It's about both of us and you've apparently had all day to think about this and absorb it and be okay with it. I need you take your dog and go and let me have more than five minutes to absorb it. Please." He said quietly.

Kate leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't flinch, didn't look at her, didn't make any move whatsoever to acknowledge her. She moved away, grabbed the dog's kennel and opened the front door.

"I left the key to your front door on the counter in the kitchen. I hope I see you soon." She said sadly and exited the condo.


	16. Chapter 16

It had been over three weeks since she'd walked out of Jack's condo. He had made no attempt to contact her and hadn't been to the restaurant for a meal. Had she really hurt him that badly or was he just angry? Could his feelings for her really have run that deep? Was the way he made love to her an indication of how he felt about her and not just the actions of a man who knew his way around a bedroom? He'd never been anything but kind, patient and respectful and she had thrown all of it right back in his face and expected that he'd still be interested in being her friend. She got scared, scared of what she was feeling for him and scared of what she knew he could make her want so she ran and ruined everything between them in the process.

She missed him, missed his stories and his dry, intelligent sense of humor, but she guessed she mostly missed how he could effortlessly make her feel like she mattered. She'd never realized how much time she and Jack had spent together in the last year until he was suddenly gone and the idea that she might never see him again was literally sucking the life out of her. She was sad, very sad, as though a piece of her, an important piece, was missing.

Jack had spent the last three weeks dealing with some personal issues not named Kate, struggling to get his 11 year old patient stable enough to undergo the lengthy and delicate surgery she needed and taking on an impossible case load. She'd gotten to him, gotten into his heart and being rejected by her felt like being punched in the gut and having the rug pulled out from under him all at once. He missed seeing her and talking to her and making sure she was doing okay, but he needed time to breathe and to get back to the point where he could just be her friend and be okay with that. He wasn't a machine and couldn't just reset himself back to a time when he didn't want or need to be more than her friend, if such a time ever realistically existed.

The passion between them was intense and that kind of passion and feelings that run that deep don't just occur overnight. They'd obviously been denying their feelings for each other and when they finally unleashed them it was explosive and real, the realest thing he'd ever felt with any woman, or at least that's how it seemed to him. Did he really misread her that badly? Was what he believed he was getting back from her while they were making love just in his imagination because that was what he wanted? He stayed busy and kept his mind off of her during the day, but late at night when it was time to sleep she consumed all of his thoughts and he felt lost and somewhat empty.

She was busy with another table when his party was brought to her section and seated. When she turned around and saw him seated at the table with three of his colleagues she suddenly felt panicked and like she might throw up. She brought them water and menus and began taking their drink orders.

The three men with Jack all ordered the house wine and she looked at Jack.

"Scotch or beer?" She asked.

"I think I'll just have water." He said softly and looked away from her.

"Water? It's Friday night. Jesus Jack, what's wrong with you? You've been downright depressing lately." One of his colleagues asked.

"Yeah, well I've been buried under my case load and I told you I didn't want to come here." He grumbled.

"Yeah you did, but we always come here and I'm not going to change the routine because you've got a burr up your ass." The colleague said in a joking manner, trying to get Jack to lighten up.

Kate returned to the table with three wine glasses and a bottle of the house wine. She poured the wine and left the bottle on the table.

"Do you need some more time or are you ready to order?" She asked.

The three men ordered and she looked at Jack. He looked at her for a moment and then back at the table.

"You know what, I'm really not hungry. I think I'm just going to go back to work for awhile. I'll see you on Monday." Jack said and moved to stand up.

"I can get you another waitress sir." Kate said.

"Why would you do that?" Jack asked, his voice emotionless.

Kate didn't answer him. She simply turned and walked away, but not in time to hide the tears that were starting.

"I'm sorry guys. I'm just not in the mood for this tonight. Good night." Jack said and walked toward the exit.

Jack was just about to the door when he saw him enter the restaurant. He walked back to the table where his three friends were and sat back down, watching the man that had entered approach her. She walked past the man and back to the table with Jack and his friends.

"Did you change your mind?" She asked.

"Yeah, um…I'll just have whatever the special is." He said.

"Jack, the special is ribs and you hate ribs." Kate told him, noticing the way he started to smile and quickly suppressed it.

"Can I see a menu?" He asked.

"How about I just surprise you?" She offered and smiled at him.

"Um, okay, sure. Thanks." He replied and watched her walk away.

"So Jack, what's going on between you and that waitress?" One of the men asked.

"Her name is Kate and there's nothing going on between us." Jack answered.

"But something went on between you at one time because the last time we were all in here the two of you were pretty chummy and now every time she comes to the table the temperature drops about 40 degrees." The man said.

"How about you mind your own business." Jack said and watched the scene unfolding at the bar.

Jack watched the big man, the man he'd beaten up and warned to stay away try to pull her into his lap and her pull away from him. When Brad grabbed her wrist he felt himself instinctively start to get to his feet, stopped and watched her pull away once again.

The party of four, or really the party of three with one distracted bystander, talked and drank through the appetizers, their meal and dessert and were making plans for the evening while waiting on the check. Jack was focused on the sideshow between Brad and Kate throughout the entire meal and his three friends gave up on gaining his attention when the appetizers arrived.

Jack wasn't sure what he was feeling, but confused was definitely at the top of the list. Brad was persistent and Kate was doing her best to work and pretend he wasn't there and Jack was doing his best to stay out of it, but when he saw him shove her and shove her hard he forgot who he was and where he was and was out of his chair and on Brad before anyone had a chance to stop him.

Jack managed to get a couple of good punches in before Brad grabbed a beer bottle and broke it against the back of Jack's head, rendering him dazed enough for Brad to gain the upper hand, pin him to the floor and punch him repeatedly until Jack's three friends and Mac finally managed to pull him off of him.

Kate approached Brad and slapped him hard a couple of times, stunning him. She stood on her tip-toes doing her best to get in his face.

"What did you do?! Are you crazy?!" Kate screamed, angry and emotional.

"What's your problem? He jumped me." Brad yelled.

"Get out of here Brad and don't ever come back or I will call the police." Mac demanded.

"Jack, are you okay there bud?" His friend asked and kneeled beside him.

"Yeah, I'm just a little woozy." Jack groaned and let his friend help him sit up.

"Oh god; his head, look at that cut." Kate said, noticing the bloody, gaping flap of skin on the back of his head.

Jack's colleague looked at the cut, grabbed a towel from Kate, put it over the wound and told Jack to hold it there. When Jack didn't respond, Kate placed her hand over the towel.

"I've got it." Kate said.

"You need stitches Jack, lots of them. Can you get up?" The man asked.

Jack stood, wobbled for a moment and sat on a bar stool. His friends attempted to help him get up and he brushed them off.

"Just let me sit for a minute." Jack said, obviously not feeling well.

"Come on man, let's get you over to the ER." One of the colleagues said.

"I can get myself to the hospital. You guys should go and do whatever it was you were planning on doing." Jack said.

"Jack, we aren't going to leave you bleeding on a barstool." One of the men argued.

"It's okay. I'll make sure he gets taken care of." Kate said.

The three men had seen enough during their dinner to know that allowing Kate to deal with him and hopefully resolve whatever was going on between them was the kindest thing they could do for Jack so they paid the bill and left him sitting on the bar stool with the pretty waitress fussing over him.

Kate had replaced the hand holding the towel to the back of Jack's head with one of Jack's hands and was busy wiping the blood from his face, making a fuss and eventually adding an ice pack to the eye that was almost swollen shut.

"Kate stop, I'm fine." Jack protested and pushed her hands away, causing the ice pack to drop into his lap.

"You are not fine. You're face is all bloodied and bruised and the back of your head looks like the after effects of the Kennedy head shot." She told him.

"I doubt it looks that bad. Would you stop?" He groaned and pushed her hands away again.

"Fine, get up; we're going to the hospital." She demanded.

"So is that what you believe in Kate?" Jack asked.

"What? Jack, let's not do this, not right now." Kate objected.

"No, now is good because I need to understand Kate. I can accept not being what you want or need, but I don't understand why a bastard that manhandles you and disrespects you is what you want." Jack said and winced against the throbbing pain where the back of his head used to be.

"I'm not having this conversation with you, not now." She refused.

"Of course you're not." Jack huffed.

"You think I like that Jack? You think I really want a guy like that?" She asked angrily, her face just inches from his.

"I don't know what to think Kate. What would you think if you were me?" Jack sighed.

"I haven't seen or heard from you in over three weeks Jack and you think you can come in here, play hero again and then sit back and pass judgment on me. Well fuck you! I never asked you to rescue me Jack. All I ever wanted was your friendship, the friendship you allegedly couldn't live without, but apparently can and very well." Kate accused angrily.

"You kissed me Kate. You begged me to sleep with you Kate. You promised me it wouldn't result in feelings of regret so don't you stand there and suggest that all you ever wanted was my friendship. I can accept my share of the blame because I knew better, I knew we needed to slow down, but I need time to accept that was it, that it was my one and only chance and that I'm supposed to just flip a switch and turn all those feelings off. So forgive me if I haven't felt like being your pal lately Kate." Jack replied, his tone even.

"Come on. Let's get you over to the hospital." She sighed.

"Kate, it's less than a block away. I'm fine and I can get there myself. Just go back to doing whatever is you're supposed to be doing." Jack told her and stood, lost his balance and fell hard back onto the barstool.

"Oh yeah, you're doing great Jack." She said and steadied him as he struggled to sit up straight.

Kate stood by him for a few minutes, while Mac retrieved the first aid kit. Jack leaned forward and let his head rest on his arms on the bar while they covered the large wound on the back of his head. He could feel himself having a hard time keeping a grip on his bearings and knew he had probably suffered a slight concussion when Brad was slamming his head into the floor repeatedly. He closed his eyes in an attempt to fight back the nausea and to also deal with the pain. He felt her arm around him and could smell her as she leaned in closely to talk to him and it felt like he was being punched in the gut all over again.

"Jack, are you okay? Can you get up?" She asked.

"Just give me a minute." He said softly.

"Jack, please let me help you, let me take you the hospital and make sure get home." She pleaded with him, upset that he was hurt so badly both physically and emotionally and that he was shutting her out because she was the cause of all the pain.

"Please leave me alone Kate. I don't want you to help me." Jack said and forced himself up, standing and holding tightly to the bar.

Mac stepped in, threw Jack's arm over his shoulder and held him up.

"He needs medical attention. I'm taking him over to the hospital. Can you hold the fort down while I'm gone?" Mac asked Kate.

"Yes, of course." Kate said sadly as a tear rolled down her cheek.


	17. Chapter 17

Kate was wiping the bar down when Mac entered the restaurant. She looked toward him with hopeful eyes, but it was immediately clear that he was alone.

"He's okay Kate. They wanted to keep him for a few hours and let him sleep off some of that beating he just took. They assured me someone would make sure he got home safely." Mac said.

"What about his head, that wound looked awful." Kate said.

"The doctor said it took about 45 stitches to close it and that the pain medication they'd given him to get him through it had knocked him out. He's sleeping Kate. He's fine." Mac said.

"Except he's not. I really hurt him Mac. It's like he's not the same person anymore." Kate said sadly.

"It's none of my business Kate, but since you brought it up. Why would you hurt him? I mean, I don't know Jack inside and out, but he seems like one of the good ones." Mac said.

"I don't know him inside and out either Mac. He tried to tell me that, but I wouldn't listen. If I had taken the time to get to know him intimately I would've known how deeply he feels things and that whatever you're getting from him at any given moment is exactly what it appears to be, its real, he's real." Kate admitted.

"Kate, I have no idea what's gone on between the two of you, but based on what I've seen and heard, I'm going to guess that you rejected him. Am I right?" Mac asked.

"Sort of, yeah, but I didn't mean to, I mean I didn't mean for him to feel like he was being rejected." Kate said.

"Kate, I don't know Jack as well as you do, but I've seen that man take a beating twice on your behalf and it isn't because he's trying to be some hero, it's because he doesn't have a choice. Protecting or trying to protect you is just something that comes naturally to him, he can't help himself. He seems to really like you and care about you. If you like him, you need to stop pushing him away because that guy is a keeper." Mac told her, patting her gently on the shoulder and disappearing into the kitchen.

She stood outside the door to his condo thinking about the conversation she had with Mac the night before and wondered if the depth of Jack's feelings for her had been obvious to everyone but her. She was nervous, afraid he'd tell her to go away, but she had to try to make things right between them. He was right. She was the one that pursued the relationship and the one that got impatient when he wanted to slow things down. Her treatment of him had been so unfair that it's a wonder he didn't join Brad in the shove fest the night before instead of trying to make him stop.

It was early, too early to be showing up at someone's home, but she had to see him, had to make sure he was okay and that he had everything he needed. She knocked on the door and when he didn't answer she knocked harder. She was about to turn and leave when she heard the dead bolt being turned. The door opened and he stood in front of her in his boxers and a t-shirt, sleepy and confused.

"What are you doing here Kate?" He mumbled and walked away, leaving the option of whether or not to follow up to her.

She stepped inside and closed the door, noticing the blood-soaked bandage on his head. He sat on the couch and she joined him.

"You look terrible Jack." She said.

"I would suggest that you should see the other guy, but you probably already have." He grumbled.

She chose to ignore the tacky comment. If he felt half as bad as he looked he should be allowed to be grumpy and tacky and she probably deserved it.

"I know it's early, but I was worried. I had to make sure you were okay and see if I could do anything to help." She said.

"I don't want or need your pity Kate." He said and sighed heavily.

"Good, because you're not going to get it." She said.

"What do you call this?" He asked.

"I care about you Jack and I want to help." She said.

"I'm fine Kate. I don't need any help. I'm going to take these pills and go back to bed." He said.

"Have you eaten?" She asked.

"I'm not hungry." He said.

"You barely touched your dinner last night and now no breakfast? You're going to get sick if you take all that medicine on an empty stomach. Let me make you something to eat." She offered.

"Fine, whatever." He relented and lay sideways, letting his head rest on the arm of the couch.

She stood and headed toward the kitchen, glancing back at him and finding herself hurting for him and deeply regretting how wonderful the last three weeks could've been if she hadn't been such an idiot. She made him a plate of scrambled eggs, some toast and some coffee. She brought the meal to him and set it on the table in front of the couch. His eyes were closed, but she could tell he wasn't asleep.

"Jack, I know you don't feel well, but you need to sit up and eat." She told him.

He could smell the freshly cooked food and the freshly brewed coffee and found both smells appealing but his head hurt so bad he wasn't sure he could even chew.

"Kate, I appreciate the effort and it smells really good, but I just want to go back to bed." He mumbled.

"Just a few bites Jack and I promise I'll get you some fresh water for those pills and you can go back to bed. You need to let me change that bandage too." She said.

He sat up, took a couple of bites of the eggs, chewed them slowly, took a drink of the coffee and looked at her.

"Good enough nurse?" He asked.

"One more bite." She pushed.

He choked down one more fork full of the eggs while she replaced the water glass with a bottle of water, handing it and his medications to him.

He tossed the pills, two antibiotics and a pain killer, into his mouth and took a drink from the bottle of water.

"Do you want me to change that bandage out here or would you rather be lying down?" She asked.

"How about neither." He answered.

"Jack, it's blood-soaked and there is blood all over the back of your shirt." She told him.

"Okay, fine. There are gauze pads and tape in the first aid kit in the pantry." He agreed.

Kate entered the pantry and briefly recalled the last time she'd been there, the furry little surprise sitting inside waiting for her. She smiled a sad smile and grabbed the first aid kit.

"Do you want a clean shirt?" She asked and helped him pull the blood-stained shirt over his head.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" He yelped as the collar scraped over the injury.

"Sorry. This is probably going to hurt. Are you ready?" She asked.

"Just yank...……son-of-a………." He yelped again as she quickly yanked the bandage away from the wound, having to steady herself, the sight of it making her nauseous.

She carefully put a fresh bandage over the wound and helped him stand up.

"I can walk Kate." He chuckled, the idea that she would be able to support his weight if he couldn't funny to him.

"Shut up Jack." She told him and walked him into his bedroom.

He broke away from her and disappeared into the bathroom. When he came out she had straightened up the bed, had the blankets pulled back and was waiting for him with a clean white t-shirt.

"I think I'll pass on the shirt." He said, eyeing her and not sure what he was supposed to be feeling, but guessing that angry and resentful when she was being a friend to him wasn't the mature response.

He walked past her and sat on the bed, needing badly to just lie down and sleep off the pill he'd just taken, but finding himself more concerned with her and her sad, troubled eyes.

"Lay down and I'll go freshen up this ice pack." She said.

"No, no more ice. I just want to sleep." He said and laid down in the middle of the bed where she had the two bed pillows fluffed and stacked and ready for him.

He pulled the sheet up to his waist and tried to find a comfortable position for his head. Kate left the room and came back with a clean dishtowel from the kitchen. She folded it into a neat square and gently placed it under his head, applying just enough direct pressure to the wound to stop the pulling on the stitches he was getting every time he tried to let his head rest on the pillows.

"Thanks." He said.

She sat on the side of the bed and took hold of his hand, wanting to speak, but apparently unable to find the right words. He watched her, watched her fidget, watched the corners of her mouth tremble slightly and watched her face, that sad, dejected face that he couldn't resist and knew she was about to start crying. The pain in his head and the desperate desire to sleep was no longer at the forefront of his concerns, thoughts, or needs. He cared so much about her, too much, but he couldn't help it. She needed him to be okay and be her friend again and truth be told he needed that too.

"I'm, um....I'm just going to clean up the mess I made in your kitchen and let myself out." She mumbled and moved of the bed quickly, turning her back to him so he couldn't see the tears filling her eyes.

"Can you stay?" He asked, stopping her in her tracks.

She turned around, the tears spilling over the edge and slipping down her cheeks and she nodded at him, unable to speak. He lifted the sheet and patted the mattress beside him and she didn't question his intent or hesitate. She simply slipped her shoes off and crawled into the bed with him, snuggling up close and resting her head on his chest. When she felt his arm wrap around her in a protective manner, she finally broke down.

"I'm so sorry Jack. I got confused and scared. I hate what I've done to you and to us. I like you so much, too much and the way you........I mean it was so......and I wasn't sure if......I'm, I'm...." She cried, so upset she wasn't making much sense.

He tightened the hold he had on her and kissed the top of her head softly.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. I promise." He said softly and closed his eyes.

He listened as she cried herself to sleep and then he allowed his own brain to shut down and sleep, finding that having her in his arms was a much better pain killer than the one he'd been prescribed.


	18. Chapter 18

They slept together, neither moving for about four hours. When he woke up his head was throbbing and the bandage was blood-soaked again, but the towel she'd placed in-between his head and the pillow saved her from having to find more clean pillowcases. She changed his bandage, adding extra gauze this time, got him to eat a few bites of soup and re-medicate. He was asleep again an hour later and she was glad because it was obvious he wasn't feeling well at all and it made her happy to see him easily give in to her pleas to rest.

She closed all the blinds in the bedroom tight, turned the air-conditioner way down so it would be nice and cool, covered him with something heavier than a sheet and left the room. The four hour nap she'd just taken had probably been the best sleep she'd had in weeks and judging by how hard Jack was sleeping, he hadn't been sleeping much lately either. She looked around his kitchen for something she could cook for dinner, found nothing, grabbed his keys and left the condo for about an hour.

He opened his eyes in the cool, darkened room and studied the ceiling for a moment as he worked to clear his head. He noticed the heavenly aroma almost immediately, his stomach beyond empty and his appetite finally back. Had he dreamed that Kate had been hovering over him most of the day? Had he dreamed the tearful apology? Had he dreamed that he was holding her in his arms again? He was just about to sit up when the door opened and answered his questions.

"Hey." He said softly.

The door opened all the way and she walked toward the window and opened the blinds enough to allow the evening light to brighten the room. She sat on the bed and dropped the fur ball onto the mattress beside him. Jack smiled slightly and rubbed a gentle hand over its back.

"How's it going PJ, tried to hang yourself with any cords or stray panty hose lately?" Jack asked.

"No, he just chews everything up now. I had to go get him. I don't like to leave him alone for an unreasonable amount of time. I hope you don't mind." Kate said.

"It's fine. What time is it?" Jack asked.

"It's a little after seven." Kate said.

"Seven? Jesus, I've been asleep all day?" He asked.

"Pretty much. I was getting a little worried, thought I better check on you, make sure you didn't stop breathing or something." She said.

"You've been here all day?" He asked.

"Since about 6 AM. You don't remember?" She asked.

"I wasn't sure if those were real memories or Vicodin induced hallucinations." Jack admitted and sat up.

"It was real....**all** of it. Hungry?" She asked.

"I am, but I have to get to the hospital." He said and shot her a regretful look.

"Are you out of your mind Jack?!" She scolded him.

"Kate, I have to. I have a patient I've been monitoring for weeks and I need to check on her and make sure she's not slipping because I'd really like to get the tumors out of her this week and let her get on with her life." Jack explained.

"I don't care Jack. You aren't going to work. I looked at the papers from the ER. You're not supposed to drive until they see you tomorrow and release you back to normal activities. Can't you just call the nurses on this patient's floor and get an update?" Kate asked, refusing to give into the insanity he was suggesting.

"She's just a kid Kate and seeing me at least once a day seems to perk her up and her mental state going into this surgery is every bit as critical as her physical state." Jack argued.

"So you'll just have to talk to her on the phone. Jack, I'm putting my foot down. The only way you're leaving this condo tonight is over my dead body and you don't have the energy to kill me so you might as well admit defeat." She told him, making him chuckle.

"Okay, you win, but I am going to grab a quick shower. I smell like antiseptic and stale beer. Do you want to come watch to make sure I don't lose my balance?" He teased.

"No, but if you need someone to wash your back just yell." She teased back, grabbed the puppy and left the room.

Kate applied fresh bandages to Jack's head when he came out of the shower, fed him and nagged at him to take his next dosage of antibiotics. He refused anymore painkillers, claiming the pain was manageable. She sent him to the couch to call the hospital about his patient while she cleaned up the dirty dishes. She heard his tone go soft and sweet as he talked to his young patient and she smiled. She finished cleaning up his kitchen and joined him on the couch. He was relaxed back into the cushions staring at and through the television that was turned off.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, it's just that sometimes you can't be sure you're doing the right thing." He sighed.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked.

"You don't want to hear this stuff." He said.

"If I didn't want to hear about it, I wouldn't ask." She said.

"Possibly, or it's a good excuse to avoid talking about you and me, what went wrong, if we can fix it or if we even want to try to fix it." He said, deciding to cut right to the chase and not play anymore games with her.

"Do you?" She asked.

"Do I what? Want to talk about it?" He asked.

"No, do you want to try to fix it?" She asked.

"I guess that would depend on why it broke so quickly and so easily. Earlier you said you were confused and that you got scared. I get being confused Kate because I was kind of feeling that way myself, but in a good way. But why scared?" He asked.

"You were confused in a good way?" She asked smiling at him.

"Yeah, I mean all of the sudden I have all these feelings for you and I'm not sure how or when that happened, but I'm happy about it or at least I was. Why are you scared of me Kate?" He asked.

"I'm not scared of you Jack, I'm afraid of what you represent." She said quietly.

"What do I represent?" He asked.

"Honestly?" She asked.

"Please." He said.

"You represent all the things little girls dream about their whole lives, or at least you do to me." She said, noticing that he was visibly touched by the comment.

"That's very flattering, but it's also a lot to live up to and I'm not sure that I could ever hope to. I'm not a prince Kate." He told her.

"Yes you are Jack, you just don't see yourself as others do. You're kind, caring and can go from a no nonsense doctor barking orders over the phone to a sweet, gentle man who genuinely cares about making a little girl feel safe. You've always treated me as though I'm someone who matters, and I can't begin to describe how much that means to me." She explained.

"Kate, what asshole convinced you that you don't matter? Please tell me because I need to go kick his ass. Seriously, you are great. You are smart and funny and beautiful and sexy and I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend my time with." He said.

"I feel the same way Jack. I know I have a pretty shitty way of showing that, but I guess I thought it would be easier to push you away now then to let you break my heart later. I've just never…" She tried to explain.

"You've never what?" He asked.

"I don't know, I guess I thought, 'Hey, I really like this guy, he's hot and he's sexy and we'll sleep together and that will be fun', but then it wasn't anything like I expected." She said.

He looked at her with questioning eyes, unsure if he'd just been complimented or insulted.

"No Jack, that's not what I meant. It was great, you were great. The whole experience was so passionate and so real and so intense, as if I'd been carried away to some secret place that only a select few know about and I never expected to feel the way I felt about you and so quickly. Should sex be **that**good Jack, especially the first time? How could I ever be expected to enjoy you like that and survive when you got tired of me if you're just really good at making a girl feel special and it wasn't as real and as genuine as it felt?" She asked, putting it all out there and not liking how vulnerable she suddenly felt, but finding the openness and honestly somewhat liberating.

He took hold of her hand, leaned in and kissed her gently.

"Kate, I promise you that I'm not a prince and you will learn that if you stick around and hopefully you'll still want to be with me when you figure out that I can be a real toad sometimes. I can also promise you that I'm not some player who has a secret sex formula for keeping women on the hook until I'm done with them." He chuckled.

"I'm laying my heart out here Jack and you're laughing at me?" She asked.

"No Kate, no, of course not. I'm sorry, it's just that the idea that I've mastered the art of how to make love so well I could convince a woman she's incredible, special and someone I care very deeply for without really feeling that way is…..well, I guess I'm glad I'm not the type of man that is capable of that. It seems like a cruel game to play." He said.

"I know that now Jack. When I saw how badly I hurt you, I realized that you were right and that we really didn't know each other that well because if I had taken the time to get to know you I would've known that you weren't playing a game with me. I'm really sorry Jack and if you want to try this again, I promise the next time I get scared I'll talk to you instead of just run away from you. But I'd understand if you want to back off after what I did to you. I know you think I ran right back to Brad, but I didn't, I swear. He just started coming around again and I guess when he realized you weren't around anymore he felt like I was fair game." She said.

He reached out and encouraged her to climb onto his lap, her legs straddling his hips and their upper bodies just inches apart. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment neither speaking and him allowing her to make the first move if she wanted to. She didn't disappoint, gently taking hold of his face, closing her mouth over his and kissing him slowly and sensuously, their mouths opening simultaneously and with an audible sigh/moan combination, they passionately swallowed each other up. She could feel a strong fluttering sensation in her stomach, took a deep breath, pressed her stomach into his and kissed him deeper, making him moan and move his hands strongly, yet gently over her back.

They finally broke the kiss and he studied her for a moment while the fingers on one of his hands moved slowly up and down her arm. He couldn't imagine not diving in again, the emotions that were currently running through him allowing him no other option. He wanted her and he needed her. If there was even the slightest chance that they could make it work this time he was willing to risk another severe punch to the gut in order to make it happen because this woman made him happy, and it was a kind of happy that he'd never known, but was eager to experience more of.

"I'm sorry I'm the reason that asshole was harassing you again." He said.

"It was my fault Jack, all of it and I'm the reason you're sitting here with 45 stitches in your head, bruises all over your face and a black eye and I'm so sorry." She told him.

"How about we just forget about all of it Kate and pick up where we left off?" He asked.

"I'd like that Jack and we'll do what you said and slow down, get to know each other better. It's okay if we don't sleep together." She said.

"No it's not." He laughed lightly.

"What? Jack, but you said.." Kate argued.

"Kate, I'm a patient man, especially when I have no idea what I'm missing out on, but I don't think I can not want more of what I've already had a taste of, especially when it tasted so good. It'd be like me giving you a sniff of a chocolate bar while you're PMSing and then holding it up in front of you and expecting you to just look at it and not enjoy how satisfying it would be." He told her, his expression a combination of serious and mischievous.

"That's really not a good comparison because I'd tackle you, pin you down and force you to give me that chocolate bar and you would never force me to have sex with you." She teased.

"I wouldn't have to." He grinned.

"Oh, I see, you're cute and cocky too." She commented.

"Not cocky, I was on the receiving end of that kiss. You want to sleep with me as bad as I want to sleep with you." He said.

"Maybe I do, but would a woman who cares about you take advantage while you're supposed to be convalescing?" She taunted in a sexy voice, wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders and gently kissing each eyelid, then the each bruise on his face and finally biting gently at his lips.

"God, I hope so." He breathed heavily; biting back until they were kissing again as he slowly lay back onto the couch, pulling her down on top of him.


	19. Chapter 19

She could feel his heart beating in unison with hers, her body draped over his and fitting perfectly as they shared another deep passionate kiss. The kissing was so intense she could feel herself beginning to become breathless and overwhelmed with emotion, wanting him, yet afraid to want him as badly as she did at the same time.

Was she seriously falling in love with this man or had she already fallen in love with him was all she could think as his kiss and his roaming hands were turning her into putty in his hands. The level of excitement was making her stomach flip-flop and the tingling between her legs was already becoming unbearable. How could he do this to her so quickly and was she even coming close to having the same affect on him? She broke the kiss and pulled her head back so she could look into his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, I just need to know something before I dive into this head first." She said.

"Okay." He said.

"Do I matter to you Jack, at least just a little?" She asked.

"No. You matter to me a lot." He said.

"Are you just telling me what you think I need to hear so you can get laid?" She asked with a grin.

"No." He said and lifted his head, kissing her quickly.

"I'm on the pill so no condoms. I don't want anything between us." She said.

"Okay." He agreed.

"How do you know I'm not lying to you Jack?" She asked.

"Because you're not and because even if you were, I wouldn't care." He answered, shocking himself as much as her.

"Jack, why…." She started to ask, but was cut off by him pulling her back down for another kiss and not a quick one this time.

Her head was swooning when she broke for air, wanting and needing to have him inside of her so badly she wasn't sure she could wait another second. She reached between them and unfastened and unzipped his jeans eagerly, nearly catching him in the zipper and ending things prematurely and painfully. He took hold of her hand gently in an attempt to calm her some while his other hand began unfastening her jeans. He let go of her hand and used both of his hands to push her jeans and panties down, her taking over and working them off her legs, her bottom half naked and stretched out over him, slowly grinding into the denim that was still covering his hardening length. He reached between her legs from behind, felt the heat and moisture and groaned loudly.

"You're incredible." He moaned softly and moved his hands over her butt and the back of her thighs.

She scooted back and began tugging at the waistband of his jeans. He lifted his hips so she could pull them down. She pulled them down to his knees and stopped, moving forward again, taking him into her hand and positioning him at her opening. She looked into his eyes and he into hers and she slowly slid down onto him, connecting fully and then laying forward and kissing him softy.

"Promise me you aren't going to break my heart." She said softly.

"I promise." He said, wrapping his arms around her and sitting them up.

She was extremely worked up, on the edge and when he sat them up and pulled their bodies together she was right there ready to explode. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders letting her chin rest on his shoulder while her lower region rotated slowly over him enjoying spasm after spasm. She panted and shook against him and he held her tightly, talking softly into her ear while gently thrusting upward.

She stilled and he stilled. She kissed his neck, nibbled his ear lobe, kissed along his stubbly jaw-line and closed her mouth over his, swallowing him in a wet, sloppy kiss while trying to work his t-shirt up his body so she could pull it off of him. He broke the kiss and smiled at her. She was so worked up and it was quite a turn on, but he was ready to slow them down and enjoy her body, all of it, not just the part that was currently wrapped tightly around him.

He put some space between them and worked his jeans off his legs while allowing her to pull his shirt over his head gently before doing the same to her, leaving her sitting in his lap with nothing on but a bra. He reached behind her, unhooked the clasp and slowly slid the bra straps over shoulders and down her arms, revealing her breasts slowly, her nipples hard and desperate to be touched.

He wanted to take her to his bedroom, but he didn't want to separate so he dropped his head between her breasts and began to slowly make a meal of them. She could feel him growing harder inside of her and let go of a long, happy, somewhat frustrated sigh as she tried to move over him and he took hold of her hips and held her down so she couldn't.

She felt one of his hands release from her hip and slowly move down between them, his thumb finding her swollen, excited clit and rubbing, slow, sensual circles over it while sucking one of her nipples into his mouth hard, teeth nipping at the bud followed by his warm, soft tongue soothing the freshly bitten flesh. She could feel the orgasm building and began kissing him again, moaning against mouth as her hips squirmed against him, wanting to feel him thrusting within her and him still holding back, teasing her and pleasing her at the same time. She let go of his mouth, bit down on the top of his shoulder, closed her eyes tight and came again.

Her body rocked and shook against his once again and he convinced her stop biting his shoulder and look at him. Her eyes were full of desire and hazy as she worked hard to keep them open, wanting to close them and just allow it all to wash over her, unable to remember ever feeling as good as she did at the moment. He felt spellbound by her and by the moment and how intensely real it was. He'd believed he would never enjoy her like this again and would never get the chance to show her exactly how much she mattered to him. This woman had all of her hooks in him and he was ready to give her the best of everything that he could.

They sat still for a moment, each entranced by the other and then they both smiled and laughed a little before coming together for another passionate kiss. A kiss that would continue while he slowly lowered her onto the couch on her back, staying inside of her and groaning as she wrapped her legs around him drawing him in deeper.

He reached behind him and encouraged her to release the grip her legs had on him. She relaxed her legs, propping one up on the back of the couch and keeping the other one bent at the knee beside his now outstretched thrusting body, her hands gripping his strong back, feeling the muscles flex with every thrust and verbalizing how good it felt every time he pushed into her. Having him inside of her, feeling all him, flesh on flesh made her feel closer to him then she already had.

He began thrusting harder and faster, getting closer and closer and he wasn't hesitant about coming inside of her, never questioning it or giving her the opportunity to change her mind or admit that she'd lied to him. It was a lot of trust and when she felt him releasing, felt the warmth as his juices spilled into her, any doubts she had about Jack's feelings or his intentions were erased and she closed her eyes and came with him, holding him as close as she could while whispering sweet compliments into his ear.

They lay facing each other on the couch, him on the inside and her on the outside, their upper bodies almost touching, her leg resting over his hip and thigh, and his fingers gently tracing imaginary lines over the outside of her hip and thigh

"I should get dressed and go home. PJ needs to be walked and put to bed." She said.

"I think you and the fur ball should spend the night here." He said.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Of course and if memory serves, you love to soak in a hot bubble bath every night before bed. I don't have any bubbles, but you're welcome to soak in the bath." He said.

"You really do listen to me when I'm babbling on an on about nothing don't you?" She giggled.

"I'm interested Kate and what man's antennas wouldn't perk up when a sexy, beautiful woman is putting bubble bath images into his head." He teased, making her slap playfully at him.

"You're sweet, but I didn't bring any pajamas to put on after my bath. It's kind of a routine." She said.

"You can borrow one of my shirts, but the odds of it staying on for very long aren't in your favor." He chuckled.

"Mmm, sounds like it's all in my favor." She said sweetly and kissed him.

"So, how about I take the fur ball for a walk on the beach while you go enjoy a bath." He offered.

"He'll be covered with sand Jack." Kate said.

"I'll carry him down to the water. His feet will get a little sandy, but I'll take a towel and make him wipe his paws before he comes back in." Jack said and slipped away from her, lifting himself off the couch and standing, holding his hand out.

She looked him over from head to toe, his naked body on full display and him not the least bit shy about it. She took his hand and allowed him to pull her up and into him, making her flesh tingle as she rubbed up against him.

"How about we walk the fur ball together and take that bath together. I promise not to get your bandage wet." She suggested.

He smiled and nodded at her, the sparkle in his eyes almost as adorable as he was.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his hand holding gently, but firmly to the head of curly, dark brown hair buried in his lap. He never had a chance to wrap a towel around his waist, much less dry off. They'd stepped out of the tub of water and she immediately pushed him toward the bedroom, pushing him onto the bed and dropping to her knees between his legs. The moment he felt her mouth on him he'd lost all control of the situation, happy to relinquish it until she was ready to give it back.

She came up off of him and encouraged him to move all the way onto the bed and lie down. She straddled his waist and kissed him and he moved his hands over her bottom, finding her heat and penetrating her with two fingers.

"You're so hot and so wet." He moaned in-between kisses.

"Just for you." She panted and moved her hand down between her legs, touching herself and closing her eyes tightly as he pushed his fingers in deeper.

He watched her intently as he pumped his fingers in and out and she rubbed desperately, the orgasm close, but her unable to get over the edge. He pulled his hand away and rolled her onto her back, her legs opening and allowing his body to get comfortable between them. He placed his tip at her opening, pushed into her in one quick thrust and held his position, pinning her hands to the mattress beside her head and looking into her eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked sweetly.

"Mmm…." She answered, making him smile.

He kissed her softly, gently nipping at her lips in a teasing fashion while he began to fully satisfy the lower half of her body, continuing to hold her hands firmly to the bed while he made love to her at a steady pace bringing the elusive orgasm out of her in an explosive manner and then rolling them over. She laid over his body, her groin still tingling and her mind attempting to recover. She kissed him with a wet, sloppy mouth and sat up, feeling his hands immediately slide up her sides and to her breasts, kneading them tenderly as she rotated over him, reaching behind her and giving his balls a gentle squeeze, a move that landed her on her back again before she had a chance to react.

He needed this to end. The blow job, the foreplay and the intercourse had worked him into a state that no longer allowed for slow, patient love-making. She felt him drive into her hard and moaned loudly, encouraging him to do it again and again and again until they were wildly going after one another, sweaty bodies slapping together through a mixture of moans, groans and complimentary encouragement, him finally climaxing and her following right behind him.

He dropped onto his folded arms, staying inside of her and in no hurry to move off of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his torso and put her mouth to his ear, whispering softly.

"It's a good thing you slept all day because I plan on keeping you up all night." She said.


	20. Chapter 20

He kissed her one last time and moved off of her, rolling onto his back and welcoming her soft, warm body as she snuggled up next to him.

"That was a nice way to wake up." She said.

"Wake up? We never slept." He chuckled.

"Those little naps in-between making love count as sleep." She argued as she placed soft kisses over his chest and moved her hand down his stomach, touching him gently, him allowing it for a bit before reaching down and pulling her hand away.

"I need a break." He said regretfully.

"So sleep for a bit and I'll wake you up with a bang." She said in a sexy tone and kissed him with a wet, and steadily growing hungry again mouth.

"Kate, if I have sex again within the next 12 hours, it will put me in the hospital." He told her.

"So we'll just have to find other ways to enjoy each other for the next 12 hours." She giggled.

"God, I'd love that, but I really need to go to the hospital and check on Michelle." He said.

"I'm driving you." She insisted.

"Kate, I think if I can do an all night sex marathon, I'm okay to drive myself to work." He laughed lightly.

"There's a big difference between sex and driving a car. One requires more of the brain than the other, well the big brain anyway." She teased.

"Okay you win, but you have to let me buy you breakfast when we're done." He said.

Kate drove him to the hospital and they walked into the ER together. The ER doctor checked the wound and checked his reflexes and cleared him.

"You want to come upstairs and meet Michelle?" He asked.

"Is it going to make me really sad?" She asked.

"No, she's a great kid and she likes new visitors." Jack said.

"Okay sure." Kate agreed.

They stepped off the elevator, his arm loosely around her waist both dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. He left a gentle hand on her lower back and walked them toward the nurse's station. They stopped at the nurse's station and the older woman sitting behind it writing in a chart looked up at them.

"Dr. Shephard what happened to you?" She asked.

"Good morning Delores. It's nothing. I just had a little accident. I'm fine. Can I see Michelle Adams' chart?" He asked and looked around, noticing the food caddies parked in the hallway.

A young male nurse entered the station and slammed the patient chart in his hand down hard. The older nurse shot him a look of disapproval, picked up the chart and handed it to Jack.

"Here it is Dr. Shephard, Teddy was just with her." Delores said.

Jack looked at the young man, could see that he was very worked up and wondered why.

"What's wrong with you?" Jack asked.

"Ah, the famous Dr. Shephard, the doctor who thinks it's a nurse's job to spoon feed his patients." Teddy grumbled.

"Teddy!" Delores scolded him.

"Do you have a problem with doing whatever is necessary to provide the care a patient needs?" Jack asked, his tone professional, unimpressed and in Kate's opinion, down right scary.

"I did not go to nursing school so I could spend my days having some little brat whining that the bites are too big and that she can't swallow that fast and spit her food all over her clothes and then throw a fit when I do my job and clean her up." Teddy spat angrily.

Delores started to get between them and Jack put his hand up. Delores sat back down and dropped her head, knowing things weren't going to end well for the young male nurse on his third day of work.

Jack opened the chart and pointed to the notes he'd made.

"Do you bother to read these?" Jack asked.

"I scanned them." Teddy answered quietly.

"You scanned them? Do you think doctors take the time to leave detailed notes in these charts so that the nurses can scan them?" Jack barked angrily.

"No sir." Teddy answered, completely compliant and respectful at this point.

"If you had bothered to read my notes Teddy, you would've seen that the little brat's esophagus is full of sores from her recent round of Kemo and that she can only handle small bites and little sips." Jack snapped.

"I'm sorry Dr. Shephard." Teddy apologized.

"Part of your job as a caregiver is to be compassionate Teddy and if you'd find that part of yourself you'd realize than an 11 year old little girl wouldn't be comfortable having some strange man she's never seen before changing her clothes. I swear if you've done anything to set her back." Jack threatened.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." Teddy said.

"Did she get anything into her stomach?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. I doubt it." Teddy said.

"Go downstairs to the kitchen, get me another food tray and make sure it's got a big glass of cold chocolate milk with it and bring up here." Jack told him.

"Yes sir." Teddy said.

Jack took the chart, placed his hand on Kate's lower back and walked away, leaving the young male nurse feeling a lot less cocky and confident than he was when he got up that morning.

"Teddy, I'm going to give you some professional advice. If you want to have a nice, long career at this hospital, getting on that man's bad side is definitely not the way to go about it." Delores told him.

"Yeah, I heard that guy was a real prick." Teddy grumbled.

"That's enough Teddy! You screwed up and if you're going to survive as a nurse, you better first of all learn how not to screw up and second, learn how to be man enough to admit it when you do. Now, if I were you I'd go get that food tray and I'd make double-time doing it." Delores told him.

Jack entered the room with Kate, saw Michelle curled up in a ball crying and had to mentally count to 10 to keep his anger at bay. He moved to the side of her bed and placed a gentle hand on her back.

"Michelle, I'm sorry that nurse was so impatient with you. You won't be seeing him anymore, I promise." Jack told her.

"I want my mom." Michelle cried.

Jack sat on the side of the bed and moved his hand gently over her back.

"I know you do sweetheart, but we talked about this. The baby inside your mom's stomach wants to come out and it's too soon for him to be born so she has to stay in bed." Jack said.

"Will you take me to see her?" Michelle asked.

"Michelle, I don't want you exposed to the germs all over the hospital. I'll tell you what, I'll talk to your mom's doctor and see if she can take a ride in a wheelchair later today and come see you." Jack offered.

Michelle struggled for a moment and slowly rolled onto her back and looked up at him and that was when Kate noticed the patch over her left eye and the apparent paralysis affecting her entire left side.

"Did you have a fight?" Michelle asked eagerly.

"Well, it wasn't much of a fight. It was mostly me getting my butt kicked." Jack chuckled.

"Why did you fight?" Michelle asked.

"He was trying to protect me." Kate spoke up and walked toward the bed.

"Michelle this is Kate." Jack said.

Michelle held her hand out and Kate shook it gently.

"It's nice to meet you Michelle." Kate said making a mental note to ask Jack what his definition of sad was because this frail little girl crying for her mother was ripping her heart out.

"Are you Maggie's mom?" Michelle asked.

"Maggie?" Kate asked.

"Um, no Michelle she isn't." Jack quickly interrupted, noticing Kate's questioning eyes.

Michelle was about to question him further when Teddy entered the room with the food tray.

"Do you want me to feed her?" Teddy asked quietly.

"No, just leave it, I'll do it." Jack answered.

"I'm can do my job Dr. Shephard." Teddy argued.

"Good, go do it elsewhere, I've got this." Jack dismissed him.

Teddy left the room and Jack looked down at Michelle who was starting to pucker up and get weepy on him.

"Hey now, let's have none of that." Jack said.

"I don't want it Jack, it hurts too much." Michelle protested.

Jack lifted the lid on the food tray, rolled his eyes at the corn flakes and toast and wondered which part of sores in the esophagus Teddy didn't understand. He decided if he could get at least half of the scrambled eggs and chocolate milk into her it'd be a victory.

"I'll make a deal with you kiddo. You get as much of these eggs and this milk into your stomach as you can stand and I'll make sure you get milkshakes for lunch and dinner." He bargained.

"Can I have strawberry milkshakes?" She asked.

"Whip cream and no cherry." Jack agreed and smiled at her.

Kate sat in a chair and watched Jack cut the eggs into very small pieces and patiently feed them and the milk to her. He was so kind and so gentle with her and Kate could see that the little girl adored him and understood why Jack was so intent on getting to the hospital to check on her. She also came to understand while watching them together that if this little girl didn't pull through whatever procedure he was about to perform he wasn't going to handle it well, the bond between the two of them well beyond anything that would be considered a doctor/patient relationship.

Michelle tired easily and was sleeping soundly twenty minutes after she finished her breakfast. Jack left orders with Delores that Teddy wasn't to be allowed in the room again and made sure it was understood that the child would be getting a Strawberry milkshake with whip cream for lunch and dinner and they left the hospital. As negotiated earlier that morning, he pulled into a pancake house so they could eat breakfast. They placed their order and sat at a small table drinking coffee.

"Michelle looks pretty sick Jack." Kate said.

"She's is, but hopefully the surgery will be a success and she'll get better." Jack said.

"Hopefully?" Kate asked.

"It's risky Kate and it might not end well. It's an impossible surgery that nobody wanted to try. When her mother came to me she'd been turned down by four other doctors who basically suggested she take her daughter home to die. I made the same suggestion, but I also offered an aggressive treatment and risky surgery as an alternative to certain death. What parent is going to turn that down right?" He explained, not sounding too sure of himself toward the end.

"You're having second thoughts?" Kate asked.

"I can't afford the luxury of second guessing myself in a case this critical, but yeah there are days when the doubt creeps in for a moment and I'm not sure it was the right thing to do. Maybe the most humane thing to do was to let the child's suffering end." Jack explained.

"So why did you do it?" Kate asked.

"Because what if she lives Kate? What if this works and she's cured and she gets to go back to being a kid again? Does any doctor have the right to not at least offer that chance? If you were dying and there was a chance you could be cured, would you want to at least be given a choice?" He asked, this case something he obviously needed to talk about very badly.

"Of course, who wouldn't? Jack, the child is very sick and very pitiful and it got to me in just the short time I spent with her, so I think you wouldn't be you, if it wasn't getting to you and making you question your motives." Kate said.

"My motives?" Jack asked, sounding a little offended.

"Isn't that what this is about Jack? You're wondering if you pushed this treatment for the sake of that little girl or for the sake of you getting to achieve something others have deemed medically impossible. You aren't the only one who pays attention when we're talking." She said, making him smile, impressed that she could read him and his demons so well.

"Did I?" He asked.

"No one but you knows for sure, but I watched you with her and I didn't see a doctor looking to get his name published in medical journals. Of course I might be biased because I happen to think you're pretty great and therefore I'm not capable of seeing you as someone who would even consider something like that." She told him, offering a wink and a smile.

"Thanks Kate." He said in a genuinely appreciative tone.

"You seem awfully attached Jack. Are you going to be okay if that little girl dies on your operating table?" Kate asked.

"No, but I'll get past it eventually." He sighed.

"Jack, who is Maggie?" Kate asked.

"I guess now is as good a time as any to talk about Maggie." He said.

Jack reached behind him, pulled his wallet out of his pocket, looked through it, pulled a picture out and set it on the table in front of Kate.

"Maggie is my 12 year old daughter." He said.


	21. Chapter 21

Kate studied the picture of the pretty little girl with dark brown hair and her father's eyes and smile. She didn't know whether to be insulted or hurt or just indifferent to the fact that he'd never mentioned he had a daughter in all the time she'd known him.

"All the times we've talked Jack and you never mentioned you had a daughter. Why would keep that from me?" She asked.

"I wasn't keeping it from you Kate and I was going to tell you about her. Maggie is a part of my life that is very personal and very private. I'm an absentee father that pays child support and sees his kid a few times a year. It's not something I'm proud of or feel like talking about most of the time." Jack said.

"She's beautiful Jack, you should be proud and bragging as often as possible." Kate said and smiled at him.

"Thanks. She's been quite a handful lately." Jack sighed and put the picture back in his wallet.

"How so?" Kate asked.

"She showed up at my front door a couple of days after you and I went our separate ways or whatever that was we did." Jack said.

"That's bad?" Kate asked.

"She lives in San Diego with her mom so it was very bad. Stacy called me in hysterics when she didn't come home from school and had called the police. I didn't know whether to hug her or beat her when I opened the door and saw her standing there." Jack explained.

"Ran away to daddy's all the way from San Diego huh? That's pretty brave for a 12 year old. She must be pretty upset about something." Kate said.

"Maggie's mom and I, we never got married or anything. Maggie was just a surprise that we both decided we wanted to keep. We share custody of her, but I don't make it difficult for Stacy and demand equal time or anything and Stacy lets me see her when I can. It's hard with them living so far away, but I take what I can get so Maggie isn't constantly shuffled back and forth. Stacy got married when Maggie was about two and the guy was really good with Maggie and they had a nice little family and I allowed myself to get pushed out of the picture just a little bit more each year by lying to myself and pretending it was better for Maggie, when in reality it was just easier for me emotionally and time wise. Still think I'm a prince Kate?" He asked.

"So you've struggled with being a long distance father? It doesn't mean you don't love your daughter Jack. So what happened?" Kate asked.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

"You said they had a nice little family, as in they don't anymore. What happened?" Kate asked.

"Stacy and Mike split up and it's been tough for Maggie and suddenly good ole stand-by dad in Los Angeles who is always happy to see her and buy her anything her heart desires has taken on a much more prominent parenting role. Stacy remarried and the child is very unhappy." Jack said.

"Why?" Kate asked.

"Do you really want to hear all of this Kate?" Jack asked.

"Of course I do. I'm just sorry you never felt like you could share this stuff with me before." She said.

"Stacy cheated on Mike with this guy she's married to now and according to Maggie she never pays any attention to her because she is too busy with the new husband's two little boys and the new baby they just had together or at least that was the sob story I got when she showed up at my door. I don't think Stacy is neglecting her, but I do think Maggie is really struggling to adjust to her new situation and that's why she wants to come live with me." He explained.

"What did you tell her?" Kate asked.

"I told her I didn't think it was a good idea, let her stay with me a few days and drove her back to San Diego . She was with me when I went to check on Michelle, that's how she knew about her." Jack said.

"Why isn't it a good idea?" Kate asked.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Why isn't it a good idea for Maggie to live with you?" Kate asked.

"You want the whole laundry list or just the really important reasons, like the fact that I work 100 hours a week and that it would hurt her mother terribly." Jack said.

"Those are just excuses Jack." Kate said.

"Kate, I appreciate that you're interested enough to care, but you don't know what you're talking about." Jack defended himself.

"Last night you asked me who convinced me I didn't matter. Do you still want to know?" She asked.

"Yes." Jack answered, happy to change the subject to her for awhile.

"When I was ten, my dad came into my bedroom, read me a bedtime story and told me he was leaving and then he just left. He made time to see me on the weekends at first, but as time went on he just stopped caring. He had a new wife and a new baby and he didn't care about me anymore. When he left my mom started drinking and by the time I was 12 she was drunk all the time. I begged my dad to let me come live with him and he told me I couldn't because his new wife didn't like me and then he told me that we couldn't see each other anymore.

By the time I was 14, I'd managed to lie about my age and got a job waiting tables at night because my mom had a new boyfriend and she didn't want me around when he was over, which was pretty much all the time. I spent the next couple of years staying at friend's houses and when I was 16 I moved in with another waitress from the restaurant. She was 18 and needed a roommate. I haven't talked to my dad since I was 12 and I don't even know where my mom is or if she's alive." Kate told him, the hurt and anger of being rejected by the two people she was supposed to matter to still very raw.

"I'm sorry Kate." He said.

"Jack, I'm not suggesting that your daughter is in the same type of situation, but I am suggesting that she could be feeling like she doesn't matter." Kate said.

"She knows that I love her Kate and so does her mother. She's just having adjustment issues. I promised her she could spend her whole Christmas break with me and Stacy agreed so we're hoping that will get her to let up on the _'I want to live with my dad'_ demand for awhile." Jack said.

"That's almost three months away Jack." Kate said.

"It was the best I could do Kate. I'll try to get down there and spend a weekend here and there with her before." He said.

"I'm sorry. I hope things start looking up for her and for you." She said.

"Things are looking great for me from where I'm sitting, unless my baggage is going to scare you off." He said and smiled at her.

"Scare me off? Honestly Jack, finding out that you have baggage and are just as human as the rest of us only makes you that much more attractive to me." She told him.

He lay below her, eyes closed and heart racing as he released inside of her for the second time that morning, his 12 hour wait period cut way short. Her hot, sweaty body was draped over his, her mouth sucking gently on the skin on the top of his shoulder. She'd been insatiable and judging by the way she had him trapped inside of her, the moans and heavy breathing coming from her and the large hickey she was going to leave on his shoulder she wasn't done with him yet.

"Kate, are you trying to kill me?" He asked softly when he felt her hips begin to gyrate over him again.

"I know you need to recharge, but I feel like I can't get enough. I could stay in this bed with you all day and all night Jack." She sighed and covered his mouth with her own, drawing him into another wet, passionate kiss.

He rolled her onto her back, kissing her deeply, still inside of her and pumping into her slowly. He held to the outside of her leg and watched her as he continued the gentle thrusts. She was so wet and slippery and responsive that he began to wish pills that could cause four hour erections really existed, found himself chuckling lightly at the thought and brought her to another orgasm.

When she stopped squealing and squirming he leaned in, kissed her softly on the mouth and brushed the hair away from her face while he allowed himself to slip out of her. She groaned in protest of the disconnect making him kiss her again.

"Ever hear the phrase _'absence makes the heart grow fonder'_?" He teased, still lying between her legs, her soft, warm body trapped beneath his.

"You know what I think?" She asked.

"No, tell me." He said.

"I think we must've wanted this for a really long time and it's like we've unleashed some crazed, hungry animal that can't be satisfied because we starved it for too long." She said.

"I think you're probably right, but I bet if we actually got out of bed and got dressed the desire to commit suicide by sex might subside some." He chuckled and rolled off of her onto his back.

She crawled onto him, straddling his waist and rubbing her wetness as well his own all over his stomach. She sat up straight and gently traced an imaginary line down the center of his chest.

"We could take a shower and I'll put a fresh bandage on your head afterward." She suggested as she traced around the outer edge of his nipple with her fingertip.

"And then maybe take another walk on the beach and let the fur ball out of his cage for awhile?" He asked, eyeing the breasts perched in front of him and licking his lips.

"And then it might be time for a nice, long, afternoon nap." She said in a seductive tone, reaching behind her and caressing his penis.

"Kate, you are so making me wish I were 21 again. Baby I can't, but I promise you are going to enjoy the shower we're getting ready to take." He told her and sat up, sliding her back, pressing their chests together and kissing her passionately.

She walked around the bedroom, a towel wrapped around her head and one around her body, her mind in a pleasant fog. He was sitting on the bed in his jeans, watching her and finally grabbing her and pulling her into his lap.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked and kissed her neck lightly.

"Mmm, yeah. I think you finally satisfied the beast or at the very least tamed it. Who knew one could pull off so many neat tricks with a hand held shower nozzle." She said with a grin and kissed him.

"The trick is the eight adjustable sprays of water." He told her.

"No, I think the trick was the man holding the nozzle knowing exactly where to direct those sprays of water." She said.

"No, the real trick is having a hot, sexy, responsive woman that enjoys the attention as much as I enjoy giving it to her." He said and kissed her some more.

"Is that so? And what exactly do you get out of that?" She asked, feeling a little guilty for having been the only one getting satisfied in the shower.

"Oh Jack, you're so good, eat my pu……." He imitated her stopping when she clamped a hand over his mouth, both of them giggling.

"Okay, I get it. It's all about the ego." She continued to laugh.

He looked at her seriously, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply, pulling back and looking into her eyes.

"It's all about making you feel good because that makes me feel good because you matter to me Kate, a lot." He said, his tone and his eyes sincere.


	22. Chapter 22

Two months had passed and the two close friends had become even closer lovers, spending nearly every night together either at her apartment or his condo, him making time for lunch at his favorite restaurant as often as possible and spending time together whether it was watching a movie together at his condo, walking hand-in-hand through the courtyard of Kate's apartment complex while the fur ball stretched his two-inch legs or dressing up for a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant and spending the evening making fun of the snooty customers. They'd become an inseparable couple and enjoyed one another's company immensely, the transition from friends to lovers going much smoother the second time around.

Michelle's surgery had been a success and with the tumors gone and her body healing she slowly gained weight, gained color and more importantly regained the vision in her left eye and full movement on her left side. Kate had been allowed to share in that victory with Jack, him inviting her to come along to the hospital and her making trips on her own to keep the child company while her mother remained bed ridden and unable to be with her daughter.

When Jack told Kate about the tragic car accident that had taken the life of Michelle's father four months before he diagnosed her and began treating her she understood why the little girl had latched on to Jack and so tightly and why having to tell him goodbye was so difficult for her even though leaving the hospital should've been the happiest day of her life.

When they received the invitation to the celebration, they questioned whether or not they should go, wondering if Jack just never seeing Michelle again would be in her best interest. After discussing their concerns with her mother and being assured that Michelle would be fine they purchased a suitable gift for the newborn baby boy and drove to the large house in Beverly Hills .

"Jack!" Michelle screamed excitedly and ran to him.

He bent down and let her plow into him, nearly knocking him off balance. He returned the hug and kissed her on the cheek.

"You're really putting the weight on there kiddo. That makes me very happy." Jack said.

"Come see my brother, he's so cute!" Michelle said excitedly, taking him by the hand and pulling until he and Kate willing went along.

Michelle's mother saw the child dragging Jack into the room and approached them. Jack hadn't seen her much since the surgery. He'd stop by her room to give her quick updates and get things signed, but had dealt with a friend of the family that had stepped in to help out the majority of the time. She stopped in front of Jack and Kate and Jack held his hand out. She ignored his hand and wrapped her free arm around him, hugging him tightly.

"I can never repay you or thank you enough." She told him.

"I'm just glad it all worked out." Jack said and hugged her back.

"So, you must be Kate. Michelle talks about you quite a bit. I think I owe you quite a bit of thanks too." The woman said.

"You don't owe me anything. I'm happy she's going to be okay." Kate said and peeked at the baby.

"Would you like to hold him?" She asked.

"Oh I don't know; I'm not really used to holding babies." Kate said.

"It's the most natural thing in the world, trust me." The woman said and placed the baby in Kate's arms.

Jack watched Kate nervously take the baby and then just as quickly relax, cradling the alert infant in her arms and looking very natural doing it. He put his arm around her and reached in to pull the blanket away from the baby's face.

"You two look pretty good standing there together holding that baby." The woman commented making both of them laugh nervously.

"He's beautiful. What's his name?" Kate asked.

"I'm letting Michelle pick the first name. She thinks it should be Jack. I think that's appropriate. What do you think?" She asked.

Kate looked at Jack. He was visibly touched by the gesture, but also visibly uncomfortable.

"That's um…" Was all Jack could say as he smiled an uncomfortable smile.

"You think it's too much, but I disagree. You saved my family Jack. What you did went above and beyond being a doctor and I plan on making sure people know about it and I'm going to start with your hospital administrator when we decide how much the yearly donation in your name should be." The woman told him.

"Mrs. Adams please don't do that. Everything I did, I didn't do it for recognition. I cared about your daughter and your situation and gave you 150 percent because that's what I try to give all my patients and my administrator is aware of it believe me. The chance I took with your daughter made him very nervous, but he let me do it and we're all just very happy that it worked and that she's going to be okay. I'm very flattered that you want to name your son after me, but it's not necessary and neither are donations made in my name. You should donate to the hospital if you want to because they can always use the money, but donate on behalf of your daughter or your son or both." Jack pleaded with her.

"I'm sorry Jack. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You've done a wonderful thing and you deserve all the accolades you receive." The woman insisted.

"I appreciate that, but seeing Michelle running around is enough for me." Jack said.

"Would sending you a Christmas Card every year letting you know how she's doing be okay?" The woman asked.

"That would be great and appreciated." Jack said and smiled at her.

Kate handed the baby back to the woman, they mingled for awhile and left the party, not sure if the baby would end up being named Jack and Jack not caring to know one way or the other. They ended up back at her apartment. She handed him a beer and sat next to him on the couch.

"Will it really be so awful if she names that baby after you Jack?" Kate asked.

"No, of course not, it's just too much I think. She should name him after his father if she feels like she needs to name him after someone. Besides, I already have a puppy named after me, I'm liable to get the big head and start expecting buildings and streets to be named after me if this keeps up." He teased.

"Cute, but I could see where she was coming from and that baby was so sweet who wouldn't want to name him Jack." She said and crawled into his lap and kissed him.

"You looked pretty good holding that baby. Do you ever think about having one of your own?" He asked.

"I think all women consider that on occasion and I guess if the right man came along and wanted to have a baby with me, I'd be a willing participant. What about you Jack?" She asked.

"What about me?" He asked.

"Do you ever think about having another child?" She asked.

"I don't think about it, but I haven't ruled out the possibility either. I want to do it right though. You know, hopefully be in love with his or hers' mother and all of us actually live in the same house or at least the same zip code." He said.

"Still not making any progress with Maggie huh?" Kate asked.

"I get at least two teary phone calls a week. Stacy calls crying that she can't deal with it anymore and then I get Maggie on the phone to try to enforce some long distance discipline and she starts crying that she misses me and wants to come live with me." He explained.

"Maybe her coming to live with you for awhile isn't such a bad idea Jack if she's really stressing her mom out that much." Kate suggested.

"I offered, but Stacy said no. I guess she just needs someone to vent at when she calls and doesn't really mean that she can't take it anymore. It's just getting worse as time goes on though and I'm worried about what it's doing to Maggie. I understand that she doesn't want her daughter 120 miles away from her, but I really didn't appreciate being told in no uncertain terms that I couldn't have my daughter." Jack sighed.

"Jack, why haven't you talked to me about this? Why keep it bottled up inside?" She asked.

"Kate, why would you want to spend our time together listening to me complain?" He asked.

"It's not complaining when it's a real problem that is affecting you emotionally Jack. Everything doesn't always have to be all about fun and fucking. I love you and if you're struggling with something I want you to share it with me." She said, so frustrated with him that she wasn't aware she'd just blurted out the three big words until she saw the look on his face.

"Don't look at me like that. So, I admitted it. I'm in love with you. I don't expect you to say it back so don't freak out and bolt on me." She told him and tried to move off of his lap, him stopping her and wrapping his arms around her lower back so she'd stay put.

"No, it's not that, I guess I just imagined this moment being a bit more romantic." He laughed lightly.

"What moment?" She asked.

"The moment when we finally admitted our feelings for each other. Kate I think I've been in love with you since that first disastrous date when I had to bathe you and put you to bed, but I've known for sure for quite awhile now. I've just been waiting for the right moment to say it out loud. Who knew it'd be because I was getting yelled at for not sharing my problems with you." He said and smiled at her.

"Well, maybe sealing it with a proper kiss will add some romanticism to the moment." She said and kissed him, pulling back and looking at him with a puzzled expression.

"What?" He asked.

"You never told me there was a bath involved when I tried to drown myself in the ocean." She said.

"You were humiliated. I was trying to spare you any further humiliation by telling you I had to give you a bath to get all of the sand off of you." He chuckled.

"Well I guess that makes me feel a little less guilty for enjoying the view that day you were so out of it and I was taking care of you." She told him with a mischievous grin.

"Yeah, what view was that?" He asked.

"Let's just say the opening in those boxer shorts you men wear leaves nothing to the imagination." She giggled.

"Mmm…the idea of naughty nurse Kate is kind of hot. I'll pretend to be out of it again if you want to do more than just enjoy the view this time." He teased and kissed her some more.

She lay on her side, his body spooned around her from behind, his hard cock buried deep inside of her and steadily thrusting while his hands moved over her breasts and stomach, trying to settle them down and make it last longer. She slowly rolled onto her stomach and he followed, hovering over her, pushing in as far as he could and holding it while he placed soft kisses over her back, finding the back of her neck and nibbling gently.

"More Jack, make love to me." She moaned.

He latched onto the back of her neck and began sucking hard, still buried deep and not moving, making her squirm beneath him.

"Turn over." He whispered and slipped out of her.

She rolled onto her back, opening up for him and moaning loudly when he rejoined them, wrapping her legs around him tightly and holding him there while she kissed him passionately. She released the grip she had on him and he began to move again, kissing her mouth, her neck, her breasts, her shoulders, anything he could get his mouth on as they found a rhythm and rocked one another to orgasm, rocking so hard at one point the headboard began pounding into the wall so loudly the dog began barking in the other room, making both of them bust out laughing as soon as he pulled out of her and it was safe to do so.

He dropped onto his back and she cuddled up next to him. He pulled the sheet up to their waists and wrapped his arm around her.

"I'm thinking about going to San Diego this weekend. I'd like for you to come with me and meet Maggie." He said.

"Do you really think that's a good idea Jack? I mean, having your daughter feel like she doesn't have your full attention?" Kate asked.

"I think she will like you Kate. I've told her about you and she wants to meet you. Maggie's issues aren't with her father's girlfriend. She's just really pissed off at her mom over what happened with Mike and for suddenly being uprooted and moved into a house with three little boys under the age of five." Jack explained.

"I really think you need to spend the weekend with your daughter Jack and just leave me out of it." Kate said with an edginess that bordered on resentful and she wished she could take it back as soon as she said it.

"Goodnight Kate." He said, reaching for the lamp beside the bed and switching it off.

"Jack." She said.

"No, I got it Kate. It's fine. Goodnight." He said.


	23. Chapter 23

Kate reached over him and turned the lamp back on. She allowed her upper body to relax onto his stomach and chest, folded her arms on his chest and let her chin rest on them, looked at him for a moment, scooted up and kissed him and then let her chin rest on her arms again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Kate said.

"You didn't." He said.

"Then why are you lying here brooding?" She asked.

"I'm not brooding. I'm trying to understand you and what it is you want from me." He sighed.

"What do you want from me Jack?" She asked.

"Want from you?" He asked.

"Why do you all of the sudden want me to meet your daughter?" Kate asked.

"It's not all of the sudden. I've been thinking about it for awhile and since you scolded me earlier for keeping things that are weighing on my mind from you, I thought I'd put it out there." He said.

"Why has it been weighing on your mind Jack? What are you expecting from me where she is concerned?" Kate asked.

"Kate, I'm not expecting anything from you and it's been weighing on my mind because I don't let my daughter meet my girlfriends.......ever." He said.

Kate felt awful. This was a big deal to him, a really big deal and she'd just squashed it without bothering to give it careful consideration.

"I'm sorry Jack. I wasn't thinking about it from that point of view. I'm not comfortable being placed in the middle. I don't want to come between you and your daughter. I don't want to be the woman stealing all of daddy's attention on the weekend when his attention should be all on his little girl." Kate said.

"Kate, I'm not going to do that to Maggie, not this weekend or any time in the future. I'm in love with you and I might even be the guy that would ask you to have a baby with him, but my daughter is part of the package. You two don't have to be best friends or anything, but it would be somewhat reassuring going forward to at least know that you don't hate each other." Jack explained.

"I'm supposed to work Saturday, but I'll ask Mac if I can switch with someone." She said.

"Are you sure? I mean are you sure that was the only reason you didn't want to come with me because I don't want you to feel pressured into doing something you're uncomfortable with." He said.

"I'm sure and yes that was the only reason. I bet she's excited you're coming." Kate said.

"I haven't told her yet. I learned a long time ago to never promise her my time until I was absolutely sure I was actually going to have the time to give. I'll call her Saturday morning when I'm about 30 minutes out." He said and laughed lightly, turning the lamp back off and settling in for a few hours of sleep.

She could feel the light kisses on her upper chest along with the light scratching caused by the growth on his face. She smiled and opened her eyes, noticed it was still dark outside and thought about protesting the early hour until she felt his mouth close over her nipple and his hand slide down between her legs.

"Somebody woke up horny." She teased and then giggled when he moved her hand to his erection.

"You really wouldn't send a guy off to work in this condition would you?" He asked, pushing a finger into her and kissing her.

"That's pretty impressive Jack. Did you wake up like this or have you been groping me while I slept?" She asked, her hand wrapped around him and pumping him gently.

"Both." He said in a breathy tone and moved over the top of her.

She opened up for him and he was in, hard and ready to ride.

"Waking up with you is becoming my second favorite part of the day." She said and rolled them over, sitting up and driving him in deeper.

"Second favorite, what's first?" He asked placing both hands over her breasts.

"Going to sleep with you." She said leaning forward and kissing him, feeling his hands move over her back and butt and moaning into his mouth as he started to move within her.

He sat on the side of the bed, dressed and ready to leave her for the day. He tucked the blankets under her chin, leaned in and kissed her softly.

"Don't work too hard." She said softly, sleepily.

"I'll call you later."

"I have errands to run later, so leave me a voice mail or a text if I don't hear it ringing." She said and closed her eyes.

He leaned in and kissed her once more.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too." She sighed happily.

Jack's morning had been busy as usual and he was running behind schedule as usual so when he heard his name being paged to the ER he let go of a frustrated groan. He walked into the ER and was just about to ask a nurse why they'd paged him when he heard her voice. He moved quickly into the triage area and stopped for a moment. There were four patients being treated for what looked like fire related injuries and Kate was one of them. She was fighting the oxygen mask and asking for him over and over. He moved to the side of the gurney, took the oxygen mask and placed it over her face.

"Kate, shh, it's okay, it's Jack. Just breathe for me." He coached, her face covered with black soot.

He looked her over quickly, noticed the bandages on her hands and looked up at the paramedic that had been battling with her.

"What happened?" Jack asked, holding the mask firmly to her face, kissing her forehead and brushing the hair away from her face.

"There's an apartment fire that had involved as many as 14 units when I left. She's got burns on her hands and she took in quite a bit of smoke. She was trying to save her dog." The paramedic said.

Jack looked down at her, wanting to scold her for risking her life for a dog, but he couldn't. She was obviously heartbroken and she wouldn't be Kate if she didn't do crazy things like run into a fire trying to save a puppy. She fought the oxygen mask, finally pushing it away, tears streaming down her face, arms reaching out for him and trying to hug him.

"I couldn't save him Jack. He was crying and yelping and I couldn't get to him. It was so awful." She cried, coughing hard and not breathing as well as he'd like her to be.

Jack held her for a moment and then slowly laid her back onto the gurney, placing the oxygen back on her face and gently pulling her hands away from it.

"Shh, stop fighting it. You need the oxygen." He said softly and turned to talk to a nurse, feeling her grab at his hand and turning back to her. She'd pulled the mask off again and he reached for it.

"Don't leave me." She pleaded with him.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise, but if you take this mask off your face one more time I'm going to put your hands in restraints and intubate you and that's not going to be pleasant for either one of us." He told her, his voice not overly stern, but she knew he meant it and stopped fighting the oxygen mask.

He watched her for a moment, the steady stream of tears running down her face and the way she was shaking breaking his heart.

"What do you need doctor?" The nurse asked.

"Let's get her into a treatment room and go ahead and give her 10 milligrams of Diazepam to settle her down so I can get a look at the burns. Oh, and can you have someone call my office, tell them I'm tied up and won't be back this afternoon." Jack said.

"Sure Dr. Shephard. Room #3 is available." The nurse said and left them.

Kate looked up at him, watching him switch between doctor and concerned lover and found that focusing on him was having a calming affect. She tugged on his arm and he looked down at her. She wanted him to pull the oxygen off and he put his hand up, signaling for her to give him a minute. He removed the mask, picked her up, carried her out of the triage area and into the treatment room. He laid her on the bed, grabbed the small piece of clear tubing, placed it under her nose and reached behind her to turn the oxygen on.

"Okay, you can talk now." He said and smiled at her, putting his stethoscope in his ears and lifting her shirt.

"I don't want whatever you told that nurse to give me." She said.

"It's just valium Kate and I think you need it. You're upset and shaking and your heart is racing. I need you to sit up so I can listen to your lungs." He said and helped her sit up.

He lifted her shirt again, placing the stethoscope on her upper back.

"I can't afford this Jack." She said

"You let me worry about it. Okay? I need you to be quiet and take some deep breaths for me." He said

She did as he asked, breathing in and out for him a few times and being quiet so he could listen. He pulled the stethoscope away, pulled her shirt back down and helped her lie back down.

"Do your hands hurt?" He asked.

"Some." She said.

"On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, how bad do they hurt?" He asked.

"I don't know Jack, they fucking hurt a lot okay?" She snapped.

"I thought they only hurt some. I'll take that as about an eight then. Are you allergic to any medications?" He asked, in doctor mode and completely unaffected by her sudden crankiness.

"No, and I don't want any medications." She told him.

The nurse entered the room with a syringe and Kate looked at him desperately.

"Please Jack, I don't want it." She pleaded with him as the nurse pushed the needle into her arm.

"I'm sorry Kate, but you're going to have to trust me on this. I'm going to give you something to take the edge off the pain and take a look at your hands." He told her.

Jack waited for the drug to relax her and for the pain medicine to kick in and unwrapped her hands. The burns were a mixture of first and second degree, would be painful for a few days and would need to be kept clean, but he felt confident they'd heal just fine and leave no scarring. He treated the burns and wrapped her hands again being as gentle as possible. He prescribed an antibiotic just to be safe, let her breathe the oxygen for about an hour and then he walked her out of the hospital, took her to his condo and put her to bed.

He was sitting on the couch working on his laptop when she walked out of the bedroom. He could hear the shuffling of her feet, closed the laptop and turned around. She joined him on the couch, sitting quietly for a moment and then looking at him.

"Thank you for today." She said softly.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"My hands are kind of throbbing, but I'm okay." She said, her voice beginning to crack as she fought back the tears.

He wrapped his arms around her and she did the same, letting her head rest on his shoulder. He could feel her chest hitching as she cried, he guessed for PJ as well as for herself. From what he'd seen on the news the units that burned were a total loss, which meant she'd not only lost her little furry friend, she lost everything she owned.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." He told her and held her tighter.

"Do you think he was just yelping because he was scared? Do you think he burned and suffered?" She cried.

"I don't think he was scared Kate, I think he was barking at the noise and the smoke probably killed him not the fire." Jack told her, feeling a bit of a lump in his throat at the idea of that small, defenseless puppy being scared and suffering and choosing to confidently assume it didn't happen that way for her benefit as well as his own.

"It's all gone Jack, everything. I've got no place to live. I don't even have a change of clothes." She said sadly and pulled back, allowing him to relax into the couch cushions so she could relax into him, finding the arm he had wrapped around her the security she needed at the moment.

"You'll stay here with me and we'll go shopping. You ladies love to shop right?" He asked trying to cheer her up.

"I can't just move in with you and I don't have any money for new clothes." She said.

"Kate, I love you and I hate to suggest you let me take care of you because I'm probably going to get slapped, but will you……..let me take care of you……please." Jack said.


	24. Chapter 24

Kate sank deeper into his embrace, his offer to take care of her too sweet and genuinely heartfelt for her to even consider being offended by it or by him. He was such a good man and she knew he meant no disrespect to her or her independence and that he only wanted to help and truth be told she needed his help and she guessed that was why she didn't instinctively overreact and refuse his offer without giving it careful consideration. She was deep in thought and hadn't replied to his offer to help her and he wondered if he'd overstepped whatever boundaries might still be between them.

"Please say something even it's 'Jack you're an ass', I can't take the silence." He said.

She sat up, kissed him passionately and then settled back into his embrace, realizing how completely vulnerable she was at the moment and wishing she could just stay right there and let him protect her from everything in the world that made her feel small and insignificant.

"You're not an ass and I don't have any desire to slap you. You're very sweet and generous to offer to let me stay here until I get back on my feet." She said.

"It was actually a permanent offer if you're interested." He said.

"You're asking me to live with you?" She asked.

"I was going to wait until after Christmas to make the offer, but I guess the fire gods decided I was moving too slowly." He offered.

"Why after Christmas? Was it because you didn't want your daughter to know?" Kate asked.

"No, I thought if I waited until Maggie went back to her mother's you wouldn't feel like I was trying to force my daughter on you because I get the feeling you're afraid that I want and expect you to just step in and have this really happy, great relationship with my kid." Jack said.

"Jack, I'm not afraid you want that, I'm afraid I will. I love you and I can tell how important she is to you, so that makes her important to me too. It's like there is this whole separate part of you that I've never had the pleasure of knowing, but am looking forward to experiencing. I hope that she and I can be friends. What is she like? Is she daddy's little princess?" Kate asked.

"No, much to her mother's chagrin, she's daddy's little tomboy. She's small for her age, very cute and very much still just a little girl, which is fine with me, I'm in no hurry for her to grow up. But Stacy believes she's getting to an age where she should be obsessing over make-up and breasts and boys and Maggie's not cooperating at all." Jack explained.

"How so?" Kate asked.

"She plays basketball and softball and chews bubblegum constantly, smacking and blowing bubbles, anything but a little lady. Stacy won't let her cut her hair and Maggie refuses to do anything with it but pull it back and stuff it inside a ball cap. She prefers blue jeans and sneakers to dresses and sandals and awhile back she angrily declared that she was never going to wear a bra and that nobody could make her wear one." Jack laughed lightly.

"That's adorable. It sucks when mother-nature interferes with a little girl's desire to be a boy." Kate laughed.

"Well so far mother-nature has been cooperative, but it can't last much longer. She's going to be so pissed off when puberty finally has its way with her." Jack chuckled.

"So what do the two of you do together when you have her?" Kate asked.

"Disneyland has to be squeezed in no matter what and we just kind of hang out, maybe go to a movie or a Laker game if it's basketball season. I don't see her a lot so I probably spoil her too much. I think I'm more like summer camp to Maggie than a dad, which is why these last couple of months of me suddenly having to be this authority figure that actually tells her no and threatens her with disciplinary action if she doesn't behave have been so difficult for both of us." He said, his tone somewhat sad and definitely worried.

"Okay." Kate said.

"Okay?" He asked.

"Yes, okay. I'll move in with you, but I'm really not used to being taken care of so I'll probably demand that you don't do that too much. Hey, since I won't have to pay rent this month, I've got enough money in my checking account to at least buy me some new underwear." She said and smiled at him.

"Who said you weren't going to pay rent?" He teased.

"Would you consider quid pro quo?" She played along.

"I would and that means you really won't need underwear, new or otherwise." He said, enjoying the playful exchange.

"But what if I took you along with me and let you pick them out?" She asked in a sexy tone.

"That could be fun, especially if you need my expert opinion in the dressing room." He replied, laying her back and kissing her deeply, neither coming up for air until the last possible moment.

"There's no way the Jack I know would do that, but I bet we could find a store where the dressing rooms are completely enclosed and I could talk you into it." She teased.

"Where's the fun in that? People hearing noises, seeing feet and knowing what we're doing, but not being able to prove it is the appeal." He said and winked at her.

"You've done it before?" She asked, eyes wide, making him chuckle.

"Actually it was a stall in the women's restroom at this fancy theater." He admitted.

Kate looked at him, speechless, intrigued and somewhat turned on by what an uninhibited and playful sexual partner he could be.

"What? The show was boring so we found other ways to entertain ourselves." He laughed.

"I'm constantly surprised by you Jack, but in a good way. You've got all these sides that I never knew existed and so far I really like all of them. Is there some dark, creepy hideous side of you I've not seen yet?" She asked.

"I hope not." He laughed.

"You do realize that having a 12 year old underfoot for two weeks is going to put a serious damper on our sex life don't you?" She asked.

"No it won't. We'll just have to make sure we remember to lock the door. Unless of course you're not comfortable with a precocious 12 year old knowing exactly what's going on behind the locked door." He said.

"Well I wasn't until now." She laughed.

"Maggie is immature in all the ways a she should be in my opinion, but she is also very intelligent and aware. I've learned, especially lately, that's it best to be completely honest with her." Jack said.

"You said you've never let her meet your girlfriends Jack. Don't you think all of this might be too much for her to take all at once?" Kate asked.

"She knows about you Kate and she knows you're important to me. She's spoiled and a bit of a brat, but she's also got a kind heart and wants her dad to be happy." Jack said.

"But she doesn't want her mom to be happy?" Kate asked.

"No, she loves her mom very much and loves her new baby brother very much, but she also loved Mike like a father and Stacy doesn't allow them to see each other and she misses him. Stacy's new husband is a career military guy who's very strict and no nonsense and Maggie doesn't like him. She's very angry that everything she knew is gone and she blames Stacy for that so her mom's happiness isn't her primary concern because she doesn't believe her mom bothered to consider her happiness. While just agreeing with Maggie would be simplifying a messy adult situation, the kid kind of has a point that I can't fully disagree with." Jack explained.

"Wow, you really have been trapped in the middle of an unfortunate and difficult situation." Kate said.

"Yeah, but I guess after 12 years it's about time I contributed more than money and fun to our relationship. For the last few months she talks and I listen and those are some really great moments between us. But she also gets angry and hateful and says hurtful things to her mother and I have to step in and try to neutralize the situation by threatening to take things from her and then she cries and I try to offer some long-distance comfort. I've been patient and cooperative up to this point, but my little girl is really unhappy Kate and if something doesn't give pretty soon things could get ugly between Stacy and me." He said sadly, seriously.

"I'm sorry Jack, but I'm glad you're sharing this with me. I can't do anything to help, but I'm a good listener." She said.

"Yes you are and you're also very selfless. You're the one who lost everything today and you're the one lying here with achy burned hands and you somehow managed to turn the conversation to me and the situation with my daughter. Have I told you lately how much I love everything about you?" He asked and kissed her softly.

"I'm not selfless, it's just that when I'm down and out I've found that focusing on helping other people to be very therapeutic. I can't wait to meet Maggie this weekend because I bet she's just a pint-sized female version of you that I'm going to fall just as hard for." She said and kissed him.

"We won't be going to San Diego this weekend. Stacy called me right before they paged me to the ER for you. Maggie is grounded and she doesn't think that she should be allowed to spend the weekend having fun with me if she's supposed to be grounded and she's right I guess." Jack sighed.

"I'm sorry Jack. I know I'm not cute or 12 and don't call you daddy, but I have the weekend off and would love to spend it hanging out with you." She said making him smile.

"You can call me daddy if you want, but only if you promise to be really naughty and deserving of a spanking." He teased making her giggle.

"You'd spank a woman with hands that hurt so much she can't wash the stinky smoke out of her hair?" Kate asked.

"No, but I would love to wash her hair for her." He said sweetly and kissed her again.

She lay below him, her freshly bandaged hands resting comfortably on the pillows beside her head. Her eyes were closed, enjoying the feel of his hot, wet mouth moving strategically over her upper body so completely in love with him that everything he said or did seemed amplified.

She smiled as she remembered the caring and gentle way he'd helped her bathe, the feel of his strong, but gentle hands massaging the shampoo over her scalp and doing everything for her in a way that came across as loving and sensual, making her feel beautiful and sexy instead of helpless or humiliated.

She remembered standing in front of the clothes dryer wearing nothing but one of his shirts while he transferred her clothes, the only clothes she owned at the moment from the washer into the dryer, turned on by the knowledge that she was standing beside him without panties and doing his best not to act on it.

He remained a gentleman, kind and considerate, even though her sitting on his kitchen counter, wearing an oversized shirt that was mostly unbuttoned with no panties while he carefully applied fresh bandages to her burned hands had him so turned on he could barely focus on the task at hand. She found herself needing to giggle at his apparent battle between what he wanted and what he believed he should want, the impressive bulge forming in the front of his boxers betraying him and his struggle to be in control and be the gentleman he believed she needed him to be at the moment.

When he finished with her hands he lifted her off of the counter gently, but instead of allowing him to set her down she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders, her warmth and wetness making contact with his bare stomach and making him groan, his resolve completely broken. She closed her mouth over his and felt one of his hands hold firmly to her back while the other cupped her bare bottom, the gentleman gone and the lover who needed her and wanted her completely in charge, carrying her into the bedroom and laying her on the bed gently.

She still wore the shirt, all of the buttons now undone and pushed away from what he wanted to see, touch and taste. She felt his mouth close over her nipple, sucking gently at first and then a bit more intensely, feeling the sensation tingling through her groin as he alternated from one side to the other and she'd had enough of the gentle build-up. She needed him inside her and she needed him now.

He had her hands bandaged in a manner that restricted any use of her fingers which meant she couldn't touch him, couldn't push his boxers out of the way and couldn't take hold of him and guide him where she wanted him to be. She moved her hands over his shoulders, encouraging him to move his face back up closer to hers. He kissed her long and deep, feeling her arms wrap around his neck and shoulders, doing her best to hold him without being able to touch him and he wasn't sure why, but he knew in that moment that this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

He pushed his boxers out of the way and pushed into her, hearing her moan and whimper and hold tighter to him as he did so. He pulled out of the kiss and looked into her eyes, feeling their connection in more ways than one.

"I love you and I will always take care of you, even when you demand that I don't." He said.

"You better." She said and kissed him again, feeling him begin to move within her and for the first time in a long time feeling like and believing that she really did matter to someone.


	25. Chapter 25

He reached for the ringing cell phone that had woken him from his sleep. He lifted it off the nightstand with his free arm and held it up in front of his face. It was 2 AM and it was Maggie. He put the phone to his ear and although he was panicked he spoke in a calm, soft voice.

"Maggie, what's wrong?" He asked and Kate who was snuggled up next to him lifted her head.

"Daddy!!!" The child cried over the phone, the only thing she could get out.

Jack sat up and could hear someone taking the phone from the child.

"Jack?" The voice said.

"Who's this?" Jack asked.

"It's Mike." He said.

"What's going on? Is Maggie okay?" Jack asked.

"She's safe, she's with me. She showed up at my door about ten minutes ago. Jack, this situation is out of control and if you aren't going to do something about it, I am." Mike said.

"What do you mean out of control? What's happened?" Jack asked.

"I don't know what happened Jack, I haven't been able to calm her down enough to talk to her, but she did say that they hit her and I don't know where or how hard, but she's hysterical and was running around the streets of San Diego at two in the morning so are you coming or not?" Mike asked.

"I'll be there in a couple of hours." Jack said and clicked his phone off.

"What's going on Jack?" Kate asked.

"I've got to go to San Diego and I can't leave you here. You can't even feed yourself with your hands like that." Jack said.

"I'll be fine Jack, I'll just unwrap them." Kate said.

"No you won't. Those areas with the deep blisters could get infected if you don't keep them wrapped. I'm sorry Kate, I know we need to stay here and get you resettled, but they're hitting my kid and I can't let this go on any longer." Jack said.

"It's okay Jack. I'll get dressed and go with you, it's fine." Kate agreed, seeing how upset he was and not wanting to add to his stress.

It was about 5:30 AM when Jack pulled into the driveway of Mike's house. He knocked lightly on the door and entered quietly when Mike opened the door.

"Mike this is Kate, Kate, Mike." Jack quickly introduced them.

Mike put his hand out, saw the bandages on Kate's hands and pulled it back.

"It's nice to meet you Kate." Mike said.

"Where's Maggie?" Jack asked.

"She's asleep, but I want to show you something. Come with me." Mike said.

They followed Mike down a couple of long hallways to a bedroom, the small lump in the large bed visible from the doorway.

"I'm going to wait out here Jack." Kate said, not wanting her introduction to Maggie to be during a moment when the child needed her father and only her father.

"I convinced her to soak in a hot bath for a little while and that calmed her down, well that and the knowledge that you were on the way. I gave her one of my t-shirts to wear and she crawled into my bed and went to sleep. I came in to check on her and to cover her up and I saw this." Mike explained as he pulled the blanket back enough so Jack could see the bruising that resembled a handprint on Maggie's upper arm.

"Are there any more?" Jack asked more sad than angry.

"I don't know Jack. I didn't want to disturb her. If you could've seen her you'd understand why." Mike said.

Jack pulled the blankets back, saw the welts on her legs and the sadness that was about to consume him began turning into rage. He sat on the side of the bed and gently lifted the t-shirt that revealed welts on her stomach and lower back and was just about to take a peek at her upper back when her eyes popped open.

"Daddy?" She said sleepily.

"Hey cutie, I got here as fast as I could." He said softly and offered a comforting smile.

"Don't make me go back daddy." She whimpered and was wrapped around him before he had a chance to respond.

"Shh, everything is going to be okay. I promise." Jack whispered and hugged her tightly.

"They hate me." She said sadly.

"Baby, why didn't you tell me he was hitting you?" Jack asked.

"He wasn't." She said.

"Can you let daddy look at your bruises?" He asked.

"No." She refused

"Please Maggie can you just show me your stomach?" He asked.

She moved out of his lap, lay on the bed on her back and pulled the blanket up to her neck.

"I want to go back to sleep." She said, her voice quivering.

"Maggie, I need to make sure you're okay." Jack insisted and pulled the blanket down to her waist

He looked at the bruising on her arm and gently squeezed all the way down, checking for damage to the bones. He looked at the other arm and found a matching handprint.

"Did somebody shake you Maggie?" Jack asked and lifted her t-shirt up enough to look at her stomach.

"Stop!" She protested and tried to push the t-shirt back down, but not before Jack caught a glimpse of the deep welt that started at her rib cage and appeared to be going around and toward her upper back.

"Sweetheart, I'm not trying to embarrass you, but you have to let me make sure you're okay." Jack coaxed in a patient, gentle voice.

"I'm okay dad, I promise." She insisted.

"I'm sorry baby girl, but I can't just take your word for it. Would you be more comfortable if I took you to your doctor?" He asked.

"No! No doctors. Daddy, please I just want to go back to sleep." She whined.

"Hey Maggs, your swimsuit from last summer is still in the pool house. How about I go get it and you can change into that and let your dad get a good look at you." Mike offered.

"No, I don't want him to see." Maggie protested.

"Why not honey?" Mike asked.

"Because he's going to be so mad and I don't want her to get in trouble." Maggie said.

Jack and Mike looked at each other, both equally surprised and shocked, while Kate stood outside the doorway, bandaged hand instinctively over her mouth, shocked and saddened and knowing Jack was going to beat himself up terribly over this.

"Baby, did your mom do this to you?" Jack asked softly, understanding that the child wasn't embarrassed, she was protecting her mother.

"She didn't mean to daddy. I just made her so mad. It was my fault. Please don't get her into trouble." Maggie pleaded with him and began crying.

Jack pulled the little girl back into his arms, rocking her slowly until she fell asleep again. He pulled the back of her shirt up while she slept against his chest and the welt was so deep it had nearly broken the skin. How was he not supposed to be mad? He made eye contact with Mike who was looking at the marks on her back with the same disgust and sadness and neither spoke as they both wondered how the woman they thought they knew so well could've done something so terrible. He finally laid the child down, covered her and he and Kate followed Mike out into the kitchen.

"I'll make some coffee." Mike said.

"Thanks for taking care of her tonight Mike." Jack said.

"Listen Jack, I know I'm not Maggie's father, but I've got 10 years invested in that little girl and I love her and I need to know that you aren't going to leave San Diego without her." Mike said.

"I can't just put her in my car and leave without talking to Stacy. Does she know Maggie is here?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, I mean I guess. I talked to Bill and he said Stacy was sleeping and he'd let her know Maggie was safe." Mike said.

"Her child is out roaming the streets and she's sleeping?" Jack asked incredulously.

"I guess he gave her something to calm her down. He's a bit of a controlling asshole so I didn't pry." Mike said.

"What's going on with Stacy?" Jack asked.

"Hell if I know. I had this beautiful wife and cute little step-daughter and I'm thinking life is pretty good and one day I come home and they're gone. Nothing but a note telling me she's been having an affair and is pregnant and is going to divorce me. It's crazy right?" Mike said.

"Crazy? Yeah, I'd say beating your child rates right up there with crazy. Jesus, what the hell happened?" Jack asked, angry, upset, confused, hurt and guilt-ridden.

"Honestly Jack, I really don't care what's going on with Stacy; I'm more concerned about what is going on with you." Mike said.

"With me?" Jack asked.

"How could you just sit back and watch this happen? Oh that's right you're 120 miles away so you don't have to watch anything." Mike snapped.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jack asked angrily.

"It means that I would give anything to have that little girl with me, but I can't because I don't have any legal claim to her, but the man who does just continues to sit in Los Angeles hiding behind his medical degrees and excuses." Mike accused.

"I love my daughter." Jack said.

"Big deal so do I you idiot! What does that even mean coming from you? I'm the guy who cheered her on through the potty training and the guy who held her head while the ER doctor put the stitches in her chin. I'm the guy who never missed a birthday or Christmas, who read to her every night, who taught her how to ride a bike and never missed a ball game or school play. I gave that little girl everything I had to give and I got to watch how excited she'd get over daddy coming to visit or getting to go visit daddy and I got to hear how wonderful daddy was all while just being good ole reliable Mike to her. So tell me Jack, where the hell has this wonderful father of hers been when she's needed him most?" Mike asked.

Being smacked between the eyes with the truth wasn't pleasant and while a part of him was angry enough to lash out at the man currently holding an unpleasant mirror up in front of him, a bigger part of him knew he was right, that the idea of being a full-time father scared the hell out of him and that he'd allowed that fear to cloud his judgment over the past few months and keep him from putting his foot down and making the demands that his daughter needed him to make.

Kate felt awkward listening to the exchange and while it hurt her to see Mike's cutting words hurting Jack, she stayed out of it.

"I always knew my daughter was in good hands. I probably should've let you adopt her a long time ago." Jack said his voice full of regret.

"Jack, we both know that Maggie wouldn't have been better off without you in her life. I'm just trying to understand why a man who has always been all about what's best for his daughter's happiness and security is all of the sudden turning a blind eye to both of those things." Mike said.

"I guess it was just easier to convince myself that she just needed time to adjust than to believe that she actually needed me. She's never needed me Mike, not like this. What if I fail?" Jack asked.

"Look Jack I'm sorry about what I said, I was angry and I'm worried about Maggie. The truth is that Maggie has always needed you and you have never failed her before so what makes you think you'd fail her now?" Mike asked.

"Because I did fail her." Jack sighed.

"Jack, you couldn't have known this would happen so beating yourself up about it is pointless. What I don't understand is why you've been ignoring her pleas to come live with you. Why would you think she was better off where she was so unhappy than with you?" Mike asked.

"If you were me wouldn't you have believed she was better off with the mother that has raised her for the past 12 years than with the absentee father who's been little more than a playmate for all those years?" Jack asked.

"No, but I've been able to see just how sad and miserable she's been. We aren't supposed to see each other, but she seeks me out and I don't turn her away and all I've heard for months is how badly she wants to come and live with you. Maybe if you'd been able to see just how unhappy she's been you wouldn't have believed that being with you was a bad idea." Mike told him.

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Why what?" Mike asked.

"Why has she been so miserable? I get that she's been uprooted and that she misses you, but she's still got her mom and I guess I can't understand how a little girl that has always loved her mother could suddenly just want to leave her behind." Jack said.

"She's unhappy Jack. She had to leave the only home she's ever known and the only friends she's ever known. She is living in a house with a strange man she doesn't like telling her what to do and with little boys running around breaking her things. They've taken away everything that was normal and familiar to her, except for you and they can't take that away." Mike explained.

"What about school? She loves her school." Jack asked.

"Stacy is going to pull her out of private school. That's probably what they were fighting about tonight." Mike said.

"Why? I pay her tuition so it can't be about money." Jack said.

"Because Bill doesn't believe she should be catered to and driven to school every day when there is a public school with a school bus available to her. I saw Maggie after her basketball game last night. She told me that after Christmas she had to go to a new school because Bill hates her. I called Stacy about it and got yelled at for seeing Maggie. She said she was going to wait until after Christmas to tell you about it." Mike said.

"None of this makes any sense. What is the matter with Stacy?" Jack said.

"Like I said Jack, I'm not interested in what's going on with Stacy, only in what you plan on doing about this because if you don't do something today, I will." Mike threatened.

"I'll take care of it Mike, but I need you to keep Maggie here. She doesn't need to be in the middle of it. I do want pictures of the abuse though so if you can convince her to put that bathing suit on and pose I'd appreciate it." Jack said.

"Jack." Kate finally spoke up.

"What?" He replied in an aggravated tone.

"This is none of my business, but I don't think that's a good idea." Kate said.

Jack took a deep breath and chose his words carefully because he'd made it her business by dragging her to San Diego with him and wasn't about to suggest that she butt out.

"Kate, if a child came into my hospital with those kinds of marks I'd call the police so if Stacy isn't going to cooperate I'll need the pictures to threaten her." Jack said.

"Maybe you should get Stacy's side of the story first, find out what happened, why a mother who's never abused her child all of the sudden went crazy on her." Kate suggested.

"Does it matter why?!" Jack snapped.

"Don't snap at me Jack! I didn't want to be dragged into this, but here I am and I get that both of you are enraged and wanting to protect her, but you need to think about how humiliated Maggie would feel posing for pictures like that." Kate snapped back at him.

"I'm sorry. Do you mind hanging out here while I go talk to Stacy?" He asked.

Kate looked at Mike.

"Yes, of course, sure you can stay here." Mike offered.

"Jack, this is really awkward and the worst possible circumstances to meet your daughter. Can't you just drop me at a hotel until you get all of this worked out?" Kate asked.

"Kate, I can't just drop you some place?" He asked.

"I'm so tired Jack that I'm not going to do anything but sleep. I'll be fine." Kate argued.

"What happened to your hands?" Mike asked attempting to dissolve the tension.

"There was a fire." Kate said softly.

"I'm sorry. I'm a pretty easy going guy Kate and this is a really big house. Please, make yourself comfortable, get some sleep and when Jack gets back we'll all sit down, have a nice breakfast and get to know one another." Mike said.

"Okay and thank you." Kate sighed.

Jack walked Kate down a hallway to one of the guestrooms, helped her get comfortable and sat on the mattress beside her.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this and that you're in a strange city, in a strange house when you're not feeling well. I promise I won't be gone long." He said and kissed her gently.

"I'm fine Jack, I'm just tired. I'm sorry this is happening to you and that I can't be more helpful." She said.

"Just having you here with me is helpful Kate and what you said about the pictures, making me settle down and see things from Maggie's point of view. You're right. She's already upset and scared for her mother and adding humiliation to the equation was a really bad idea on my part. So thank you." Jack said.

"You know all those things that Mike said about what kind of father you are was just another father reacting on raw emotion right? He didn't mean those things Jack." Kate said.

"No, he meant them and I really can't argue with him. You know Stacy asked me to give up my parental rights when Maggie was four years old. She said Maggie would be better off growing up with one father who loves her and has time for her. She wasn't trying to be mean or anything, she was just trying to do what she thought was best for Maggie." Jack admitted.

"Jack." Kate said.

"No, it's okay Kate. Allowing Mike to adopt her would've been okay, he loves her as much as I do, but he's not her father and I didn't want her to grow up believing I didn't want her and that I just willingly signed her over to someone else because I've always wanted and loved my little girl. Mike was right though. It's always been convenient for me to use my profession and the distance between us as an excuse to not be more involved, but now I have to be. I really screwed up Kate, I admit it. She's really sad right now. Do you think I can make her happy again?" Jack asked softly.

"You're going to be a great full-time dad Jack so go, talk to Stacy, put your foot down and let her know the bullshit ends today." Kate said and smiled at him.


	26. Chapter 26

He stood behind the glass door watching the toddler with a baby bottle hanging out of his mouth, wearing a diaper and a t-shirt peer back at him through the glass. He wondered if he should ring the doorbell again and was about to when he saw the tall, imposing man approaching. The man opened the storm door, and stepped outside forcing Jack to step back and allow him the space to do so.

"Can I help you?" The man asked, his tone as grim as he was.

"I'm Jack Shephard, Maggie's father. We met briefly a couple of months ago. I need to talk to Stacy." Jack said.

"Did you bring her home?" The man asked.

"No Bill I didn't bring her with me." Jack answered.

"Why not?" Bill asked.

"Are you serious?" Jack asked in a tone of disbelief.

"Dead serious. What do you want with Stacy?" Bill asked.

"We need to talk about our daughter. Are you going to invite me inside or are we going to stand out here and play 20 questions?" Jack asked, understanding why his daughter found that man intimidating, but he himself finding him little more than annoying.

"Stacy is feeding the baby, but you can come in and wait. I'll tell her you're here." Bill said.

Jack followed the man into the house and into the living room. He sat on the couch and Bill disappeared. The toddler with the bottle hanging out of his mouth eyed him for a moment and then took off running. Stacy entered the room about 20 minutes later looking tired and distraught.

Jack jumped slightly upon hearing Bill yell loudly he guessed at one of the two boys and looked at Stacy, trying to read her and trying to figure out where to begin. Bill entered the room and sat beside her.

"If you came here to yell at my wife or cause trouble you can save yourself the time and energy. You need to bring that child home and go back to Los Angeles ." Bill ordered, pissing Jack off and giving him his starting point.

"First of all Bill, I don't take orders from you, second, I didn't come here to yell at anyone and third, that child is not coming back here, she's going home with me." Jack told him, noticing that the man wasn't used to being talked back to.

"No she isn't." Bill said.

"I'm sorry, but when was it exactly that you gained any right to decide where my daughter will or won't be living? Why are you even here? I need to have a private conversation with Stacy. You should leave." Jack said.

"I'm not leaving my wife alone with you." Bill stated firmly.

"It's okay Bill. Please, let us be alone. We need to talk about Maggie and while I appreciate your concern, she is Jack's child and he's entitled to have a private conversation with her mother." Stacy said.

They watched Bill walk out of the room and as angry as Jack was and as badly as he wanted to tear into her, he couldn't. He could tell just by looking at her that she wasn't right.

"Stacy, what happened last night?" Jack asked calmly.

"I don't know." Stacy answered and began crying.

Jack had to resist the urge to comfort her. She was pitiful, but she'd also beaten his child less than 12 hours ago.

"Stacy, I can tell by looking at you that you need help; or at the very least a really long break. How long has this been going on?" Jack asked.

"How long has what been going on?" Stacy asked.

"This. You're obviously depressed and a new baby probably only made the symptoms worse. Why haven't you seen a doctor?" Jack asked.

"You don't know everything so stop acting like you can waltz in here and diagnose me. I'm fine Jack!" She snapped.

"You aren't fine Stacy, but it's none of my business. However, you beating my daughter is my business so I want to know what the hell happened and I don't want to hear any more bullshit about how you're handling it or how I can't have my daughter." Jack said quietly, but the anger he was feeling evident.

"I don't know what happened Jack. I just lost it with her. She finally pushed the right button and I went crazy. If Bill hadn't pulled me off of her……..I don't want to think about it. Is she okay?" Stacy asked.

"No she isn't okay. She's got bruises and belt marks all over her. Are you seriously going to sit there and tell me you just lost it? What could she possibly have done to make you lose it like that?" Jack snapped, his patience and ability to remain calm quickly waning.

"She was so hateful and she was screaming at our three year old and she spit at me. I just snapped. I went crazy. God, you have no idea what it's like to put up with your kid rolling her eyes at you and never having a civil word for you and constantly disrupting an entire household." Stacy complained.

"This situation is out of control Stacy, you know it and I know it. I should've listened to her. I should've told her she could come live with me when she first started asking. I'm taking her home with me." Jack said.

"Do you really think that giving into her whines is the solution to the problem Jack?" Stacy asked.

"I don't know Stacy. I don't even know why there is a problem. Why are you doing this to her?" Jack asked.

"Doing what?" Stacy asked.

"Taking away everything in her life that is familiar to her." Jack said.

"Life is all about change Jack and she needs to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her even though her father makes her believe otherwise." Stacy spat hatefully.

"Don't make this about me Stacy. All I've ever been is cooperative where Maggie is concerned, but that ends today. Change is a fact of life, but completely pulling the rug out from under a 12 year old kid isn't change, it's selfish and it's mean." Jack said.

"Mean?" She huffed.

"What do you call pulling her out of the only school she's ever known when there is no logical reason to do so?" Jack asked.

"Bill wants Maggie to realize she's not special, that she's just like everyone else and doesn't need to go to a special school." Stacy said.

"Stacy what happened to you? Why would you let some man who obviously doesn't love your daughter make decisions about what is or isn't in her best interest?" Jack asked.

"I don't know Jack. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. You're right. Maggie should go with you. I can't believe I hurt her like that. What kind of mother hurts her child like that?" Stacy began crying, her sudden change from angry and defensive to trembling and crying startling Jack and convincing him that she needed medication, maybe several medications.

"Stacy, I know she's been a handful and that you're overwhelmed. I understand losing it, I do, but not like that, not so viciously that you actually hurt her and left reminders of the pain you inflicted on her. You need to see a doctor Stacy and get on some medication before something terrible happens." Jack said.

"Something terrible already happened Jack. Will you bring her by and let me tell her goodbye?" Stacy asked.

"Of course." Jack said, still angry over the marks all over his daughter, but unable to allow one horrible mistake to erase 12 years of good mothering.

"I'll pack her a bag, enough to get her through the holidays." Stacy said.

"Stacy, if Maggie wants to come back here to live after Christmas I'll consider it if you've gotten some help, but if she's happy and she wants to stay with me, I'll find her a school and she can stay and we'll reassess the situation when summer arrives." Jack said.

"Jack what are you going to do with a 12 year old underfoot?" Stacy asked.

"I'll do just fine Stacy and she'll never be left alone if that's what you're worried about." Jack said.

"Please don't do this Jack. I do need a break from her, but I need her with me. I promise I will see a doctor and I promise what happened will never happen again." Stacy pleaded with him.

"Stacy, I've gone along with you on this long enough. The child is miserable and honestly, I don't blame her. You ripped Mike out of her life, moved her away from her friends, are allowing some scary strange man to bark orders at her and now you're going to take away her school. If she likes it in Los Angeles and wants to stay I'm not going to tell her she can't." Jack said.

"What if I say no?" Stacy asked.

"You're not going to be in any position to say no Stacy. You know I have to report this. I can't take your word for it that you are going to get help and there are three very young children still in this house." Jack said.

"When did you get so mean Jack?" Stacy asked.

"When my little girl didn't want me to look at the bruises all over her body because she didn't want to get her mom into trouble and if you can't see how fucked up that is then you're worse off than even I have considered." Jack said and stood to leave.

He took one last look at the tired, broken, mess that Stacy had become and turned to leave. He stepped outside and was greeted by Bill.

"It's about time you started acting like a father." Bill said.

"Shut up Bill." Jack grumbled.

"Are you bringing her home?" Bill asked.

"Just long enough to pack some things and to let her tell her mom goodbye. Stacy is depressed Bill and the obvious post-partum depression on top of what was already there is making her very unstable." Jack said.

"You can tell all that just by having a 10 minute conversation with someone. Wow, you must be the greatest doctor Los Angeles has ever seen." Bill said sarcastically.

"Diagnosing depression isn't my specialty Bill, but I do see a lot of it in my field of expertise and have been trained to recognize the symptoms. I've known Stacy a lot longer than you have and I can tell that she's not the same woman that I knew a year ago. You need to get her properly diagnosed and medicated before something tragic happens." Jack warned.

"Tragic? Being a little dramatic there aren't you?" Bill scoffed.

"You tell me Bill. You're the one that had to pull her off of Maggie. Did that not scare you at least a little?" Jack asked.

"Maggie is a spoiled brat Jack. If she were my daughter I would've taken a belt to her a long time ago so I wasn't the least bit surprised when Stacy finally lost control. I don't condone the violence of it, but I completely understand why it happened and I'm confident that our boys aren't in any danger." Bill said.

"I know that woman Bill and she would never harm her child the way she did no matter how hard Maggie pushed. In my professional opinion Stacy and your boys are in danger and even though I don't want to put Maggie through it, I'm going to take her to nearest hospital and report this. You should see a police cruiser in front of your house by noon." Jack said regretfully and began to walk away, stopped by the man grabbing his arm.

"Raising your little bastard for 12 years doesn't earn her a free pass Jack?" Bill asked, backing up as Jack came at him, angry with fists clenched.

"You'd love for me to take a swing wouldn't you Bill? It's not going to happen. If I leave here today knowing that Stacy isn't well and do nothing and something happens to one of those little boys I'm as guilty and the two of you are. She won't go to jail Bill, but she will be forced to get some help if she wants to see her daughter or her baby again." Jack said and walked away.


	27. Chapter 27

Jack made arrangements with Maggie's pediatrician to have the injuries looked at, photographed and reported to the authorities, his daughter very unhappy with him, but not nearly as traumatized or humiliated as she would've been if he'd taken her to a local emergency room. Social services allowed Maggie to stay with Mike while they investigated both Jack and Stacy to make sure the child would be safe if released solely into Jack's care. Jack knew the procedures for reported cases of child abuse very well so he wasn't surprised or even insulted when he was told he couldn't be around Maggie until they finished their investigation. Jack found a hotel for he and Kate to stay at for a few days, his life and the people that were depending on him in Los Angeles not a priority to him at the moment.

Neither Kate nor Jack had an extra change of clothes so after much nagging about having her hands wrapped in a manner that would allow her to use her fingers and winning the argument, they did their best to forget about the situation with Maggie and went shopping. They lay on the bed in their hotel room, neither talking, both tired and content to just cuddle together for awhile and finally giving in to the sleep that their bodies were craving, both waking a couple of hours later and craving each other.

They made love intensely, the guilt and anger that Jack had pent up inside of him making his need to prove his love and devotion to her almost desperate. She lay beside him, her head on his chest, listening to his heart as it slowed to a normal rate, their bodies wet with sweat and recharging, the immediate need satisfied, but the hunger still longing to be fed.

"Are you okay Jack?" She asked.

"Why? Was it not good?" He asked.

"It's always good. I'm just worried about you. I know you're angry Jack and I know you're beating yourself up. Can I do anything to help?" She asked.

"I really let her down Kate. He referred to my daughter as a bastard, as someone he wanted to take a belt to. The idea of her being so sad and probably scared a great deal of the time is making me nauseous. How'd I let this happen?" He asked.

"I think that you need to try to focus on what's ahead Jack because as much as it hurts, you can't change what's happened. There's no way you could've know that her mother was ill." Kate said.

"I'm her father Kate and that means I should've been paying closer attention. When she ran away and came to me I should've taken the time to actually investigate the situation she was living in. I was selfish and only thinking about how ill-equipped I am to be a full-time parent instead of considering that something might be wrong." Jack said.

"Jack, I think you're being too hard on yourself. From what you've told me, you've always believed that Maggie was safe and secure with her mother so why after 12 years would you suspect that wasn't the case any longer?" Kate said.

"Do you think she's going to be okay?" Jack asked.

"I don't know Jack. Everything I know about kids I was taught in the child development and child psychology classes I took in college." Kate answered.

"You were going to be a teacher?" Jack asked.

"My major was elementary education, but I got really sick right before my junior year and the medical bills and debt piled up so I dropped out, worked two jobs for awhile to dig myself out and never went back." She told him, a hint of regret in her voice.

"Do you ever think about going back?" He asked.

"I did, but not anymore. Opportunity missed. Can I be honest with you Jack?" She asked.

"Sure." He said.

"I'm really nervous about meeting Maggie." She admitted.

"I know you are and as soon as social services are done doing what they need to do, we'll take care of that. Maybe a nice, long dinner together to break the ice before we head back to Los Angeles would help you not be so terrified of my daughter." Jack said.

"Maybe I should go ahead and head back by myself Jack and let you and Maggie have this time together." Kate suggested, not denying that she really was terrified of his daughter.

"Kate, I'm sorry this has turned into an extended stay situation, but she knows you're here and I told her I'd introduce the two of you as soon as this situation is resolved, so if that's why you want to go home ahead of us it's not an issue. Is there nothing I can do to relieve your anxiety about Maggie?" Jack asked.

"Jack, I don't know anything about kids and you certainly know your daughter better than I do, but are you really not concerned about how she is going to react to this?" Kate asked.

"React to what?" Jack asked.

"To us, the idea, no the fact that for the first time in her life she isn't the only woman in her father's life. Jack she is used to being the center of your universe. Have you considered that she's not going to react positively to you showing affection and attention to someone other than her?" Kate asked.

"I've considered it Kate, but I'm not sure what you want me to do about it. I can't react to something that hasn't happened yet and if and when she does behave poorly out of jealousy I'll deal with it. I love both of you and I won't allow a 12 year old to believe she can actually force me to choose between the two of you. She's going to know from the beginning that isn't an option and I know it's going to result in some grief that will mainly be directed at you." Jack said.

"That's encouraging." Kate groaned.

"Kate if you don't feel like this is something you can do or want to do, it's okay. I know it's a lot to ask and I'd understand if you'd rather not be involved. I want you with me more than anything, but I will understand if you'd rather not be thrust into a situation where you're not only learning to live with me, but with a child who may or may not be a major pain in the ass. I'll still take care of you, I mean help you out with your living arrangements if you decide you'd rather not be with me right now and I won't be mad." Jack said sincerely, albeit with a hint of sadness.

Kate scooted up and kissed him deeply, pulling back and staring into his soft, watery eyes.

"I want to be with you more than anything too Jack." She said and smiled at him.

"You're sure you're up for this?" He asked trying not to sound as hopeful as he felt.

"The only thing I'm sure about is how much I love you, how much I want to be with you, and how much I don't want a little girl to get hurt because of me. We'll just feel our way through the rest." She said and kissed him again, giggling as he began groping as much of her as he could.

"I like the feeling our way through it part." He teased and rolled her onto her back, smiling down at her.

"When you said you might be the guy that would ask me to have a baby with him, did you mean it?" She asked.

He looked at her for a moment, taking in her soft, delicate features and imagining a child of his with those same features. He smiled and kissed her softly.

"Having a family isn't something I've sat around and longed for, but I've always been able to picture myself in a family situation with a couple of rugrats running around. I think a couple of rugrats with pretty green eyes and cute freckles on their cheeks would be pretty great as long as their mom is part of the package. Why? Do you want to have a baby with me?" He asked with a half teasing, half serious smile and kissed her again.

"Not today, but I like that you're willing to talk about it without it scaring you off." Kate admitted, coaxing him back onto his back and snuggling up with him again.

He could tell she was chilled, found one of the strewn bed coverings and covered them with it, feeling her snuggle in closer and wondering if there was anything else in life that felt as good.

"I don't scare off Kate. I didn't marry Maggie's mom because we didn't love each other. I was in San Diego for a weekend, we met in a bar, we got drunk, one thing led to another and we were both careless and about six weeks later she calls me and tells me she's pregnant. She asked me if I wanted her to terminate it. I told her I didn't want her to get an abortion, but would support whatever decision she made. The rest is history." Jack explained.

"It's probably hard for you missing out on so much isn't it?" Kate asked.

"I really don't know any better Kate, so it doesn't make me sad or anything. I love my kid. She's great and I look forward to the time I get to spend with her, but it's probably Maggie that's missed out, not me. She's never had both her parents in the same house and it was rare if we were both ever at something of hers together. I think having Mike so involved helped give her some stability or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. What do you think Kate? Did Stacy and I make the wrong choice 12 years ago?" Jack asked.

"I'm in no position to offer an opinion on that. Maggie is loved Jack and I think that's what's really important." Kate said and yawned, the snuggling and the warmth making her sleepy again.

"Want to take another nap and then go out for a nice dinner?" He asked.

"I think we should order in and practice making babies." She said in a sexy tone, moving her warm, silky fingers down his stomach and caressing him gently while the rest of her disappeared under the blanket.

He reached under the blanket and pulled her back up, her warm soft body draped over his and her beautiful eyes gazing into his. He rolled her onto her back and kissed her passionately, pulling back and gently caressing the side of her face with his thumb.

"I love you and I want to make you happy. If there is ever anything you want or need from me, talk to me. I'll never take your desires lightly and I won't run away from you." He told her.

"I love you too and the same goes for you Jack, if you want or need something from me, just ask." She said.

"You've been so great and so supportive and it means a lot to me. Everything is about to change." He said.

"Are you scared?" She asked.

"Honestly?" He asked.

"Of course." She said.

"I'm terrified. I don't want to screw this up Kate and I don't want to screw us up. There are two women in my life that I love very much and I want to make both of them happy. Promise me you'll let me know the minute you aren't happy." He said sweetly.

"I'm not happy right this minute Jack." She teased, loving how serious the moment was, how serious and genuine he was, but also wanting him to lighten up.

"Yeah, why's that?" He played along with a sexy grin.

"Because I was about to make a meal out of you and you pulled me away." She said and gave him a fake pout.

"You already had your way with me Kate, it's my turn." He said and began kissing her neck.

"I don't need a turn Jack, I just need you inside me, making love to me, right now." She whispered, arms around his neck and opening up for him.

She felt him push inside her and closed her eyes, being connected with him in this way a feeling unmatched by anything. The love they felt for one another poured out of them when they made love and she wondered why they avoided the attraction between them for so long. She guessed the bond they formed through their close friendship made coming together as lovers a natural progression in their relationship, but she couldn't help but wonder where'd they be today if she'd let him know from the beginning that she was attracted to him.

He was good at reading her and she wondered if he could tell she was in that place where she needed a commitment from him, that place where you're so in love you can't imagine spending a day apart and that place where you hang on their every word, ready to dissect every syllable as you look for hidden meanings because you need to know that he feels the same way.

She felt his mouth close over one of her nipples as he pushed in deeper and held his position for a moment, knowing she'd drifted off and bringing her back to him. She opened her eyes and watched him hungrily attack her breasts. Feeling her eyes on him, he looked up, his eyes filled with lust and desire. She moaned and her center flooded with wetness, making him groan and hover above her. He kissed her and gently bit at her lips.

"Where'd you go?" He asked softly.

"No where and everywhere that you take me. I love you so much Jack and you make me happy even when you're pissing me off. I can't imagine a single day without you in it so relax baby, I'm going to keep on loving you no matter what." She told him and pulled him in for a wet, sloppy kiss feeling him begin to move within her.

They made love until their bodies began to ache, sometimes slow and easy and other times fast and frenzied and in every position they could think of. He sat on folded legs with her in his lap, her stomach and breasts pressed into him and his hands on her lower back as he thrust upward firmly but gently, the familiar tingle beginning to build within her pelvic area again. She latched onto the side of his neck, sucking and biting hard as the orgasm began ripping through her, so intense she finally stopped sucking on his neck and cried out, arms wrapped around his shoulders and neck holding onto him as tight as she could, her breath taken away for the briefest of moments as her lower extremities quivered around him. She could feel him tighten his hold on her as his body stilled and he exploded inside of her, his arms wrapped tightly around her entire body and his face buried in her neck, the noises escaping from him somewhere between a heavy pant and a throaty groan, too exhausted to speak as he finished and laid back, taking her and their connection with him.

She lay on top of him, their connection still pulsating, their tired, sweat covered bodies fully satisfied and quickly succumbing to sleep. She carefully disconnected and moved to the side, her leg draped over his lower half and her arm draped over his lower chest, her head resting on his upper chest and his arm wrapped around her in his typical loving, protective fashion. They held onto each other, eyes closed and neither speaking and when he was sure she'd gone to sleep, he reached for the rumpled sheet, the only bed covering that hadn't landed on the floor, and covered them, the light sigh that emitted from her as she snuggled closer into the warmth making him smile and no longer wondering, but positive that there was nothing else in life that felt as good.


	28. Chapter 28

Social services investigated and a judge released Maggie into Jack's custody three days after he reported the incident. Stacy was arrested and the children removed from her home. She was released on bail pending a hearing and it was ordered that she not be allowed any contact with Maggie until after the hearing so Jack had to pick up her things from Stacy and return to Mike's house to retrieve Maggie.

Maggie was very angry with Jack for reporting the incident and when he and Kate showed up to pick her up she locked herself in her bedroom and refused to come out. Jack picked the lock and let himself into the bedroom. She was lying on the bed hugging a pillow to her chest and refusing to look at him. Jack sat on the edge of the bed and she rolled onto her side, turning away from him.

"Go home dad, I'm staying with Mike." Maggie said hatefully.

"Don't use that tone with me Maggie. Turn around and look at me." Jack said, remaining calm.

"They made me take my clothes off and took pictures of me. You got mom in trouble. Everybody knows what happened. I hate you!" She said angrily and began crying.

"Baby I'm sorry. You're mom is sick and it was the only way to make sure she gets some help so she couldn't hurt you or your brothers again." Jack spoke softly.

"They aren't my brothers! I don't care about them! I want my mom!" Maggie cried.

"Maggie I promise you that as soon as the judge says you can see her I will bring you back to see her, but you are coming to live in Los Angeles with me. You've been begging for this for months and your mom can't say no anymore." Jack told her.

"She said no?" Maggie asked.

"She did, but only because she would miss you so much honey, not because she was being mean." Jack said.

"You were going to let me come live with you?" Maggie asked.

"I told your mom that you could about a month ago, but she didn't want to give you up. She loves you and wanted you with her." Jack told her.

Maggie rolled onto her back and looked up at him, wiping the tears from her face.

"You really do want me? You're not just doing this because you don't have a choice?" Maggie asked.

"I have always wanted you. I love you. You're my baby girl." Jack told her, rubbing a gentle hand over her cheek and kissing her forehead.

"Then why didn't you ever say yes dad? I begged so hard and you kept saying no." Maggie asked.

"I didn't think it was a good idea Maggie. I'm not home that much and to be perfectly honest, I was a little scared I wouldn't be a very good full-time dad. I just want what's best for you Maggie. That's all I've ever wanted." Jack told her.

"You're a good dad." Maggie assured him

"So are we okay? Am I forgiven?" Jack asked.

"Does mom hate me?" Maggie asked.

"No, of course not, she's very sorry for what she did to you and she's going to see a doctor so she can feel better and when she's better if you want to come home you can." Jack told her.

"You won't be mad at me if I don't like it in Los Angeles ?" Maggie asked.

"Baby I know that all these changes are a lot for a little girl to handle, but your mom, she might be sick for awhile and you have to stay with me until she's better." Jack said.

"How long?" Maggie asked with much trepidation.

"I thought this what you wanted Maggie." Jack said.

"I did, I mean I do. I just didn't think I would ever get to live with you and now it's real." Maggie admitted.

"It's scary, I know that, but we'll find you a really great school and you'll make new friends and who knows maybe your old man will actually have a reason to move off the beach and buy a house. That might be fun huh, the three of us picking out a new house?" Jack asked.

"Three of us, is Kate going to live with us?" Maggie asked.

"The day before we came down here Kate's apartment caught on fire. She burned her hands pretty bad trying to save her puppy. She lost everything she had Maggs." Jack said.

"That's sad. Where is she going to sleep until she finds a new house to live in?" Maggie asked.

"She's not going to find a new house Maggie, she's going to live with me, with us and she'll sleep with me in my bedroom." Jack explained.

"But I always sleep with you." Maggie argued with a hint of a whine.

"That's because you never stay for more than a few days at time. You can have the spare bedroom, fix it up any way you want to." Jack said.

"Is she going to tell me what to do?" Maggie asked, the whine still evident and making Jack sigh heavily.

"Listen Maggie, worrying about stuff like this today is pointless. Kate is very important to me and I want her with me, but you are also very important to me and I want you with me too. I love both of you and there is enough of me to go around." Jack told her.

"Okay dad she can live with us, but she can't come to the basketball games with us or to Disneyland . It's just us." Maggie demanded the bratty tone not setting well with Jack.

"Sweetheart, where Kate lives isn't up for debate and it's certainly not up to you to decide. She is going to live with us and if we're doing something and she wants to come along, she will come with us Maggie. I know you're used to it always just being you and me and we can pick one thing that is something that just you and I do together, but you can't expect me to exclude someone I love all the time. Besides, you haven't even met Kate. You might decide you like her better than you like me." Jack told her.

"I doubt it." Maggie grumbled and moved off the bed, the amount of attitude the child had developed over the past few months surprising him and not in a good way.

Jack walked Maggie out of the bedroom and into the living room where Mike and Kate were talking. Maggie approached Kate and held her hand out.

"Hi Kate, I'm Maggie, it's very nice to meet you." She said noticing the bandages on Kate's hand and squeezing hard anyway, a move that didn't go unnoticed by Jack.

Kate pulled her hand back quickly and in obvious pain, smiled at the pretty little girl and exchanged pleasantries with her. Maggie looked at Mike and then at Jack and then at Mike again.

"Can I have my I-Pod back now?" Maggie asked Mike.

"I think your dad should listen to your play list and decide whether or not you should have it back." Mike said, reaching into a drawer in a cabinet and retrieving the device.

He handed it to Jack and motioned for him to go ahead and give it a listen. Jack put the earpiece in and began shuffling through her play list, the heavy rap music talking about slobbing knobs, fucking ho's, doing drugs and shooting people making him scrunch up his face in a manner that told Maggie she was about to lose this battle. He pulled the earpiece out, turned it off and handed it to Mike.

"Are you serious?" Jack asked Maggie.

"It's just music daddy." Maggie offered turning on the charm.

"Yeah well being cute and calling me daddy isn't going to earn you the privilege of listening to that violent profanity. Where did you even get that stuff?" Jack asked.

"My friend Elenore shared the files with me. Her mom and dad let her listen to it." Maggie told him.

"Sorry kiddo, it's inappropriate language and subject matter for a 12 year old." Jack said.

"I know all about sex dad." Maggie sighed and rolled her eyes.

"You do huh?" Jack replied with a light chuckle.

"If I promise to erase all the bad music can I have it back?" Maggie asked.

"Let's just leave it with Mike. I'll buy you a new I-Pod and we'll upload the music together." Jack offered.

"You better." She grumbled and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Excuse me." Jack said.

"It's my stuff dad so if you're going to steal it you better replace it." Maggie demanded.

"Maggie." Mike chimed in trying to save the child from the noose she was about to hang herself with.

"Did you at least get my laptop from mom's house?" She asked in an annoyed tone.

"No, your mom and I talked about it and she told me how much time you've been spending online and we both agreed that you need to take a break from it." Jack told her, getting his first glimpse of the tyrannical little brat he'd been hearing about and not liking it.

"You can't do that! It's mine! You better go get it now or I'm not going anywhere with you!" Maggie yelled.

"That's enough Maggie. I don't know why you think yelling at me and ordering me around is appropriate or even allowed, but you're about to get into trouble." Jack warned.

"Dad, why are you trying to change everything between us? Why you taking my stuff away from me? Why are you and mom fucking up my life?!" Maggie screamed angrily and in typical melodramatic preteen fashion.

"What's with the mouth Maggs?" Mike asked in a disgusted tone.

Jack was stunned, too stunned to even react to the vulgar word his once sweet little girl had just spat at him. He rubbed his hand over the back of his head and looked at her and it was a look that told her using that word in his presence in the future wouldn't be in her best interest.

"I'm in trouble aren't I?" Maggie asked softly, the look of disappointment in her father's eyes not something she'd ever seen before and something she didn't like.

"No." Jack answered drawing looks from both Mike and Kate.

"Why not?" Maggie asked.

"Your mom and I talked for quite awhile Maggie. She's really sad and she feels really bad about what happened and wanted me to tell you she is sorry and that she loves you. She also filled me in on how you've been behaving for about the last six months. I understand you've been very upset and angry about all the changes lately and I hope I can help you with that, but baby girl there is no way you're going to get away with any of that while you're living under my roof and if you ever spit at anyone again or spit that hateful vulgarity at me again it's not going to end well for you." Jack told her in a stern tone that she wasn't used to hearing from him.

Maggie immediately decided she didn't like this version of her father and turned the tears on for him.

"Why does everybody hate me? Why is everything going away? Why can't everything be like it used to be?" Maggie cried, getting to Jack and Mike both, but Kate seeing right through it.

Jack pulled her to him and hugged her, rubbing his hand over the back of her head while she cried into his upper abdomen. Kate watched them and how easily she could wrap Jack around her little finger and found herself smiling at what a big, gullible pile of mush he could become when he believed his little girl was truly hurting. Maggie was definitely spoiled by the two men in her life and she knew how to take advantage of it, but in her defense, things sucked for her at the moment and her 12 year old mind was dealing with all of it the only way it knew how. Jack was facing a bumpy road with his preteen daughter and would have to learn to recognize when he was being played, but for the moment hugging her, telling her everything would be okay and just being her daddy was the right move. He obviously loved her more than his last breath and that was what was most important as far as Kate was concerned, everything else would fall into place in time.

The drive to Los Angeles was quiet and peaceful. They had dinner with Mike before they left, giving Maggie a chance to tell Mike goodbye and a chance to warm up to Kate a little. Maggie tried to manipulate her way into riding in the front seat by claiming she gets car sick in the back seat, but Jack was fairly certain the little girl who could ride spinning teapots, roller coasters and things that go upside down repeatedly and on a full stomach didn't have motion sickness issues and told her no. She pouted for a couple of minutes, swore he'd be sorry when he had to pull over and clean up the vomit and was sound asleep 10 minutes after he merged onto the highway. He knew the moment Maggie asked him where Kate was going to sleep that his daughter was going to make things as difficult as possible where Kate was concerned, but he wasn't going to allow a 12 year old to ruin the most emotionally and physically satisfying relationship he'd ever had with any woman, even if that 12 year old was someone he loved more than life itself.


	29. Chapter 29

Kate stood in the bathroom, peeling the bandages from her hands, the few spots that had been burned the worst sore and itchy and in need of some air, the rest of the burns almost completely healed. She could hear Maggie whining over not being allowed to sleep with her dad. There was no bed in the spare room yet and Jack was making up the couch for her and she was desperately trying to convince her father that forcing her to sleep all alone in the living room would scar her for life. While she found it somewhat amusing, she was also tired and the achy, itchy hands were making her cranky, mostly because she was fed up with having achy, itchy hands. The situation was also opening old wounds, wounds she'd thought healed years ago, but apparently hadn't so the arguments between Jack and Maggie were striking nerves and putting her on edge. She exited the bathroom, headed for the kitchen and fresh bandages.

"Dad, I can't sleep on the couch, I have a bad back." Maggie argued.

"Good thing backs are my specialty. Come here, let me have a look." Jack offered.

"No, you can't see it. It's on the inside, but it's okay as long as I sleep in a bed." Maggie told him.

"Car sickness and now a bad back, Maggie, I'm a doctor and your tall tales about these supposed medical issues you have aren't going to fly. Come on kiddo, you've fallen asleep on this couch lots of times." Jack reasoned, staying calm, finding her more amusing that annoying at the moment.

"It's lady stuff dad. I get really bad cramps in my back." She lied making Kate bite back a grin as she passed through the room, stopping just short of the kitchen.

"It's too bad that's not true because it would explain so much." Jack chuckled.

"Oh really?" Kate asked in a tone that suggested she was offended while shooting him a teasing glance.

"The woman who crawls inside a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a bag of Oreos two days a month and cries over reruns of Party of Five is questioning my assertion that women get a little weird during their 'lady stuff'?" Jack teased back.

"I'm not lying dad and you shut up Kate! It's not your business!" Maggie snapped.

"That's enough Maggie. Apologize now." Jack said sternly.

"No!" Maggie refused.

"Jack, it's fine, I'll sleep on the couch." Kate offered with a heavy sigh as she massaged her temples with her fingertips.

"No you won't. No more excuses Maggs. You don't have a bad back and you aren't having cramps. I'm not around, but your mom keeps me updated on all the important stuff and that hasn't happened yet. Do you really want to have this conversation tonight?" Jack asked becoming flustered with her.

"No, I just don't want to sleep by myself." Maggie said shooting him a sad face.

"Do you sleep by yourself at your mom's house?" Jack asked.

"Yes, but I have my own room." Maggie said.

"Maggie, I promise we will go buy you a bed tomorrow. I can put a sleeping bag in your room if having a place to sleep in your "own" room is really the issue here." Jack offered.

"Why do you have to sleep with her?" Maggie asked and shot Kate a hateful look.

"Because I love her." Jack said.

"You don't love me?" Maggie asked.

"I do, but this isn't a visit Maggs, this is your home now and you can't camp out with me every night." Jack answered.

"Why not?" Maggie asked.

"Because you're too old to sleep with your dad every night. Maggie we talked about this." Jack sighed heavily.

"Just tonight dad, please." Maggie begged, the sad eyes starting to get to him.

"Jesus Jack, just let her sleep with you, it's not a big deal." Kate grumbled, holding her hand and moving into the kitchen.

Jack watched her exit the room and the way she was holding her hand. His patience with Maggie was waning so he gave in. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

"Okay, you can sleep with me, but just tonight. Go in there and get ready for bed. I need to take care of Kate's hand and then I'll be in." Jack told her.

Jack entered the kitchen, turning the lights on and approaching her, taking hold of her hand before she could pull it away from him. She'd been applying the fresh bandages herself since he'd given in and allowed her fingers to be free so he hadn't seen how the burns were healing for a couple of days. One of the deeper burns on the palm of her left hand was infected and he became somewhat aggravated.

"Why didn't you show this to me Kate?" He asked in a frustrated tone that made her jerk her hand away from him.

"Because you were dealing with enough already and because I was on an antibiotic so it's not like there was anything you could do." She answered, her tone revealing that she was as worked up and frustrated as he was and not appreciating that he sounded put out with her.

He hugged her and kissed her softly, calming both of them down and then gently took hold of her hand.

"This needs to be opened up, drained and cleaned and you need a stronger antibiotic." He asked.

"Can you do that here?" She asked.

"Yes, but I need a few things from the pharmacy, mainly a new prescription for you. Do you want me to take Maggie with me or will you be okay alone with her for a few minutes?" He asked.

"We'll be fine." Kate told him.

Maggie noticed her father was gone about 20 minutes after he left. She entered the living room, studied Kate with the ice pack on her hand for a moment and finally joined her on the couch. Kate turned and looked at the child, her soft chocolate brown eyes and petite features making her look younger than she was, but it was also a good reminder of how young she actually was which was good because there were moments when Kate was sure she had to be at least 25. She was a beautiful little girl, or she would be once she matured beyond the irresistible cuteness and Kate could see Jack in her features, especially around the eyes and mouth.

"Where's my dad?" Maggie asked.

"He had to run an errand honey, but he should be back very soon." Kate said.

"Did you save him?" Maggie asked.

"Did I save who?" Kate asked.

"My dad said you burned your hands trying to save your puppy. Did you save him?" Maggie asked.

"No, I couldn't find him in all the smoke." Kate said sadly.

"Are you sad?" Maggie asked.

"A little." Kate said.

"I bet my dad would buy you a new puppy so you wouldn't be sad anymore." Maggie suggested.

"I bet he would too." Kate said, remembering the night he surprised her with PJ and smiling.

"Do you have sex with my dad?" Maggie asked, making Kate squirm a little, unsure how to answer the question.

"Why do you ask Maggie?" Kate asked.

"That's why you sleep him isn't it? So you can have sex?" Maggie asked.

"No Maggie, we sleep together because we love each other. It's nice when you love someone that much and they're the last thing you see when you go to sleep and the first thing you see when you wake up." Kate explained.

"Do you think my dad would rather see you when he wakes up than me?" Maggie asked with a hint of anger.

"No, I don't." Kate answered.

"Then why does he want to sleep with you so bad? It's because he wants to have sex with you right?" Maggie asked.

"Maggie, I think this is a conversation you should have with your father." Kate sighed heavily, unsure whether the pounding in her head or the pounding in her hand hurt worse, but not in the mood to play 20 questions with an angry, jealous 12 year old.

They heard the front door open and close and Kate felt a wave of relief rush over her. She was feeling like an intruder in Jack's home and extremely uncomfortable and began to question whether or not she really could do this. Jack entered the room, saw the two of them sitting on the couch and frowned at his daughter.

"I thought I told you to go to bed a half hour ago." Jack said.

"You lied. You said you'd be in and you weren't." Maggie said.

"I said I'd be in after I took care of Kate's hand, which is what I'm doing." Jack told her.

"Do you want Kate to sleep with you so you can have sex or because you would rather see her than me first thing in the morning?" Maggie asked.

"What?" Jack asked in an annoyed tone, the child's intrusive inquiry hitting a nerve.

"You heard me dad. Which is it?" Maggie persisted, her tone both demanding and disrespectful.

Jack took hold of Maggie's hand and pulled her off the couch and into the bedroom. He sat her on the bed and bent over so they were eye to eye.

"Listen Maggie I know things have been difficult for you, but I am not going to put up with you talking to me like that. You don't get to demand information from me, nor are you entitled to know everything. What I do in the privacy of my bedroom and the reasons why I do it are none of your business so butt out. Now!" Jack said sternly.

"You love her more than me don't you?" Maggie asked sadly, her dark brown eyes watering up and softening him.

"Maggie, what I feel for Kate is a different kind of love than what I feel for you, but it's not more or less. It's just different." Jack explained softly, kissing her on the cheek and pulling the blankets on the bed back.

"I don't like this dad. I don't want Kate to live here." Maggie told him, refusing to lie down so he could tuck her in.

Jack reached under her arms, picked her up, laid her back onto the bed, covered her with the blankets and kissed her forehead.

"She is a big part of my life Maggie and she makes me very happy. Get some sleep and tomorrow we'll work on making this a home for all of us." Jack said and moved off the bed.

He stood beside the bed looking down at her. She was unhappy with him and in a full blown pout. He reached for the lamp beside the bed.

"Goodnight Maggie. I love you." Jack said, watching her roll onto her side, ignoring him and refusing to say it back.

He switched the lamp off, left the bedroom and joined Kate on the couch. He pulled out the can of topical anesthetic and sprayed the palm of her left hand with it, holding her hand in his and looking at her, seeing that she was tired and not feeling very well.

"What is that?" Kate asked.

"It'll numb the first few layers of skin so it won't hurt too much when I open it up. You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm just really tired and I've got a headache." She said.

"Yeah, it's been a long few days. Maggie didn't say anything to upset you did she?" He asked and reached for the razor blade and gauze.

"No, she's fine Jack." Kate said and turned her head as he began to open up the burn on her hand.

She felt the blade go in, but the pain was minimal. She made the mistake of looking back at what he was draining from the burn and suddenly felt nauseous. He stopped what he was doing and helped her lay down.

"Take it easy babe and don't watch. I'm almost done." He said sweetly.

He finished draining the infection, cleaned the burn thoroughly, applied an antibiotic cream to it and put a thick bandage over the area, leaving the rest of her hands open to the air, which made her happy. She felt better and sat back up. She swallowed the new, more powerful antibiotic and kissed him softly.

"You should go to bed Jack. She's not going to go to sleep until you do." Kate said quietly.

"I'm sorry Kate, I hate that you're sleeping out here. We haven't spent a night apart in so long I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep." He said and kissed her, the kiss deepening and him laying her back, kissing her passionately and then finally pulling back.

"Goodnight Jack." She said, hugging him tightly and feeling a big lump in her throat.

He could tell she was becoming emotional but decided to give her some space and come back later and check on her. He left the living room and lay down with Maggie until he was sure she was sound asleep and then quietly left the bedroom and made his way back out to the living room. The light from the television gave him enough of a view of her face to be able to tell she'd been crying. He eased in behind her on his side, her scooting forward so he could get comfortable and then scooting back into him, feeling his entire body wrap around her and wrapping both of her hands and forearms around his forearm and snuggling as closely as she could.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly.

"I'll be okay." She answered quietly.

"I didn't ask if you'd be okay, I asked if you wanted to talk about it. What's wrong Kate? Is it Maggie? Is it me? It's a combination of the both of us?" He asked.

"I'll be honest Jack. I don't know if I'm going to be very good at dealing with your daughter and her hostility or if I even want to, but that's not it. I'm just feeling really sad and lost." She admitted.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I'm lying alone in the dark and I've finally had a chance to absorb what happened to me. It wasn't much Jack, but it was everything I had and with the exception of you, everything I care about. I miss PJ and I miss my couch and the Christmas tree that you made fun of me for putting up so early and I miss my bed and the moments we shared in it and I'm not just talking about the sex. I'll never forget the morning I woke up and found you sitting beside me. I got hurt in that softball game and you sat with me all night long and maybe it wasn't a big deal to you, but it meant a lot to me. It's all gone Jack, everything. If I were at home, if I had a home, I'd be lying on my couch watching the lights twinkle on my rather sad and pathetic Christmas tree. I miss the things that made me feel comfortable, the familiar things that made me feel like I belong, like I was home." She told him, rolling over and burying her face in his chest.

He held her close and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"It's going to be okay Kate. With everything that's happened you never really had a chance to actually grieve over your losses and I'm sorry about that. I think what you're feeling is normal and you should take as much time as you need to feel sad about and deal with what happened to you. Please. I will do anything I can to help you feel more at ease and I want you to make this your home. Don't stress too much over Maggie. She's going to make this as difficult as possible, but she needs to do that to me, not to you. I don't have any expectations Kate. I promise I'm not expecting you to step in and help me raise my daughter. I want you to be as involved or uninvolved as you want to be. Okay?" He pleaded with her, hating how she was feeling and wanting to protect her from all of it.

She didn't respond to him. She was very tired and just wanted to fall asleep with him wrapped around her, but knew that she couldn't be his priority tonight. She finally lifted her head and kissed him, pulling back and smiling at him.

"I'm okay now Jack. Thank you. You need to go back to bed. It's important that you are there when Maggie wakes up in the morning." Kate said.

"I will, but I want to stay with you for a little while unless you don't want me to." He said.

"Of course I want you to." She said as she snuggled in closer, nuzzling her face into his neck, breathing him in and finding comfort in his scent.

Neither had noticed Maggie standing behind the couch, nor did they notice when she quietly snuck back into the bedroom where she belonged. Jack stayed with Kate until she fell asleep, eased away from her and spent the next few hours on his side in his bed watching his daughter sleep and enjoying how angelic she looked while doing so. He was worried about both Maggie and Kate and unsure how to help either one of them, his tired brain finally succombing to sleep sometime between 4 and 5 AM.


	30. Chapter 30

He awoke to sunlight streaming through the windows and glanced at the clock. It was 8:30 AM and he was alone. He moved off the bed, looking down at the rumpled sweat pants and t-shirt he'd slept in and shaking his head. He'd gotten used to waking up naked next to Kate and on many mornings starting the day by making love and he felt a twinge of guilt over the fact that he wasn't the least bit happy about having that pleasant morning routine disrupted. He entered the living room and found Maggie sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal and watching television.

"There was fresh milk?" Jack asked.

"No, but Kate drove to the store and bought some." Maggie said.

"Did you thank her?" Jack asked.

"Leave me alone dad." Maggie grumbled.

"Where is Kate?" Jack asked.

"She said she was going to take a shower." Maggie shrugged, pointed the remote at the television and turned the volume up, apparently still not interested in speaking to her father.

Jack decided to ignore the move and went to check on Kate. He knocked lightly on the bathroom door.

"Kate, can I come in?" He called out.

She opened the bathroom door, peeked over his shoulder to see if he was alone and stepped back so he could enter the bathroom. He closed the door and swallowed hard. Her hair was wet and she had a towel wrapped around her also wet torso. His eyes fixated on the droplet of water slowly inching its way down the center of her chest and disappearing between her breasts and the bath towel. Kate watched him for a moment, flattered and turned on that he'd become dumbstruck by the sight of her. She approached him and held out her bandaged hand.

"Can you help me out with this?" She asked in soft, seductive tone drawing his attention away from her towel covered body and to the wounded hand.

He took hold of her hand, pleased that the bandage had managed to keep the soap and water out and gently placed it on his shoulder before pulling her into him, the thin material of the sweat pants allowing her to feel all of him.

"Can you help me out with that?" He asked with a sexy grin and kissed her.

She reached behind him with her right hand and locked the bathroom door and then grabbed a handful of his ass, squeezing firmly and deepening the kiss, both of them moaning into each other's mouths. He continued to kiss her while he backed her toward the dual sink vanity, the length of countertop between the two sinks his intended target. He felt her hand slip inside the waistband of his sweats from behind and grab another handful of his ass before moving around to the front and wrap around his member, holding him gently, but firmly as she slowly pumped her fist up and down.

He backed her up to the vanity and swallowed her in another deep, wet, passionate kiss, enjoying the feel of her hand wrapped around him and confident that he could let her go for a while without any danger of ending things prematurely. She pulled her hand away and broke the kiss, watching him intently while she pulled his shirt up over his head and off, moving her hands over his chest and stomach in route to his pants, stopping with her fingers inside the waist band and putting some space between them.

He tugged at the towel and watched it slowly fall to the floor, her warm, naked flesh exposed to him and hungry for his touch. She slowly pulled the sweat pants over his hips and down his legs, going down with them, her hands holding and caressing the outside of his thighs as he stepped out of them. He reached down and pulled her back up, no longer confident that he could control anything. He moved his hands slowly over her breasts and she moved in again, capturing his mouth with hers, their bodies smashed together and in a fit of heated passion he lifted her onto the counter and pushed inside her, both of them moaning and groaning as she wrapped her legs around his waist, opening wider and driving him in deeper.

"You okay?" He panted.

"Mmm…." She answered and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck and relaxed her legs enough for him to move.

He held tightly to her, his hands holding to her back as he moved, settling himself down and loving her with deep, slow, purposeful strokes making her come quickly, both hoping the volume on the television was drowning out the sounds of pleasure coming from the bathroom.

"Harder Jack." She insisted and started to kiss him, the sudden jolt of him driving himself into her hard making her forget about kissing him and instead, put her head on his shoulder, hold on and enjoy the ride.

He went after her hard, his pace steady at times and frenzied at others making her come again and intensely, her holding onto him, panting and grinding into him as though she might go crazy. Her strong reaction as well as her walls clamping down on him repeatedly ended his resolve to make this last and he came with her, filling her with everything that he had before finally letting go of her back and placing his hands on the counter to steady himself.

She sat on the edge of the counter, him still inside of her, her legs wrapped around him and her head resting on his shoulder, eyes closed and her body tingling from head to toe.

"I love you so much Jack. Can we just stay like this forever?" She said softly, making him chuckle lightly.

"I wish we could, but there will be a bed in Maggie's bedroom by tonight if I have to build it by hand." Jack said in a determined tone.

"Good luck with that. I'm going to work." Kate said.

"Coward." He teased and slipped out of her, pulling back, helping her off of the counter and pulling her into his arms again.

"True, but I think some daddy/daughter bonding time is definitely in order. Come by for dinner though if you want to." She said and kissed him.

"You're working lunch and dinner?" He asked.

"Yeah, I know it's a long day and that I won't get to see you, but I need the money Jack. I spent all of my money on the new clothes I bought and my car payment is due in a couple of weeks." She told him.

"Kate, I can help you out with that." He offered.

"I know and I appreciate it, but it just feels wrong to let you do that for me. Don't be mad okay?" She said.

"I'm not mad, but I think I'll pass on the dinner thing. That'll give me and my mouthy, defiant daughter the whole day and night to shop and get her settled in. I'm guessing she'll either be somewhat happy or grounded for life by the time you get home." Jack said, making her smile.

"She's going to be okay Jack." Kate said.

"Is she?" Jack asked.

"I think so, yeah. I should get dressed." Kate said.

"You sure I can't interest you in another shower?" He asked.

She smiled at him and drew him in for another lengthy passionate kiss, pulling back and caressing the side of his face gently.

"That should hold me over until I get home tonight." She said sweetly, feeling him tighten the hold he had on her lower back and pull her closer.

"You were pretty distraught last night. Are you really okay today or are you just pretending?" He asked, gazing into her eyes.

"I'm okay Jack. Sometimes a girl just needs to cry and how lucky am I to have such strong, broad shoulders to cry on." She said sweetly and pecked his lips softly.

I love you." He said softly, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I love you more." She said and kissed him once more before breaking free from his embrace.

"I'm gonna grab a quick shower and then I'll fix your hand up." He said as she wrapped the towel around her body again and exited the bathroom.

Kate entered the living room, dressed for the day and ready for some coffee. She started brewing a fresh pot, turned around and nearly knocked Maggie over in the process.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't see you there." Kate said.

"Thank you for getting me some milk earlier." Maggie said.

"You're welcome." Kate said.

"Where's my dad?" Maggie asked.

"He's taking a shower." Kate answered.

"Is your hand better?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah, I think it is. Hopefully it'll hold up all day so I can work." Kate said and smiled, the child's calm, almost pleasant demeanor a breath of fresh air after the previous day's behavior.

"You're not going to be with me and my dad today?" Maggie asked.

"Nope kiddo, you get him all to yourself today. That should be fun huh?" Kate encouraged.

"I guess." Maggie said sadly.

"Well I know he's looking forward to spending the day with you." Kate said trying to understand where the child's trepidations were coming from.

"He's not mad at me?" Maggie asked.

"Why would he be mad at you?" Kate asked.

"I've been a pain and I didn't say 'I love you' back last night." Maggie admitted.

"Maggie he's your dad and I don't think you could ever do anything that would make him stay mad for very long." Kate suggested.

"I never used to make him mad." Maggie sighed.

Kate studied the little girl for a moment and felt her heart break a little bit for how out of sorts she must be feeling and ran a gentle hand over her messy hair.

"Maggie, he loves you so much and getting mad over something you've done is all part of loving you. If he didn't love you so much he wouldn't care how you do or don't behave, but your dad doesn't hold grudges, especially against the one person who means more to him than anything else in this world." Kate told her.

"More than you?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, more than me." Kate answered.

"Does it make you mad that he loves me more than he loves you?" Maggie asked.

She wasn't being bratty. It was an honest question from the mind of child who wasn't capable of separating her father's love into different feelings and different situations and Kate wasn't going to confuse her more by feeling wounded and feeling the need to explain why Jack's feelings for her can't be compared to his feelings for his child.

"No Maggie, it doesn't make me mad, it just makes me love him that much more." Kate told her and smiled.

Maggie seemed to actually relax some, not as though she'd just won the battle for her father's affections, but as though she'd just been granted a reprieve and wasn't going to have to fight that battle today. Maggie studied Kate hard, something obviously on her mind, but unsure of how to put it out there.

"Is there something you want to ask me Maggie?" Kate asked.

"You're hair is so pretty so you probably know how to do stuff with hair huh?" Maggie asked.

"I'm not bad, why?" Kate asked, noticing the child's messy hair again.

"Do you know how to make braids?" Maggie asked.

"I do." Kate answered, not offering to help, but ready to if the child would just ask.

"My mom used to braid my hair, but she got too busy with all the little kids and told me I was old enough to do it myself. I tried, but I really suck at it. I like it braided because it's long and messy and it feels good when it's pulled back tight like that." Maggie said.

"Yeah, I know, that's why I keep my hair up and back when I'm working." Kate said, watching the little girl shuffle from one foot to the next, but not about to just give it to her.

"Kate, do you think you could braid my hair, I mean if you're not too busy." Maggie asked.

"I'm not too busy and I'd be happy to. Do you want one braid or two?" Kate asked.

"Just one so I can wear my ball cap." She said, making Kate smile and remember the story Jack had told her of what a tomboy she was.

Kate followed Maggie out to the living room and sat down on the couch. Kate noticed the brush and rubber bands on the coffee table and wondered if Maggie's sudden change in demeanor had been all about getting something she needed from Kate and not the calmer, kind hearted side of the little girl Jack had spoke of.

"Daddy knows how to make a ponytail real tight, but I like braids more." Maggie told her as Kate began brushing the girl's hair.

Kate was just about done with the braid when Jack walked into the living room. He watched them for a moment and felt something unexplainable gnaw at him as he considered he'd never witnessed something so normal before. He smelled the coffee brewing and continued on his path to the kitchen.

"Can I cut my hair dad?" Maggie asked.

"Your mom would kill me Maggs." Jack called back to her.

"You're all done." Kate said and stood.

"Thank you Kate." Maggie said and began inspecting the braid with her fingers.

Kate joined Jack in the kitchen and sipped coffee while he applied fresh bandages to her hand, the infection having improved considerably overnight.

"So did she decide to be friends?" Jack asked.

"I think she's trying Jack, but don't expect too much too soon." Kate answered.

Kate finished her coffee, nibbled on some toast and cornered him out of Maggie's view for a lengthy goodbye kiss.

"I should be home by eleven." She said.

"That means I should have you completely naked and moaning by 11:15 right?" He teased.

"Mmm…maybe naked, but I think I may require at least an hour of foreplay." She teased back, making him laugh lightly.

"Promise me you will keep that hand covered and dry and that you won't forget to take your antibiotic." He said.

"I promise to behave doc." She said, kissing him one more time and leaving.


	31. Chapter 31

Kate came through the front door around 1:20 AM. The first thing she saw was the Christmas tree in the corner, lit up and decorated. She could see the top of Jack's head on the couch and approached quietly thinking he was asleep. She came around to the front of the couch and his eyes met hers and his eyes weren't happy.

"You waited up." She said.

"I was supposed to be able to sleep wondering if you'd been in an accident or worse?" He grumbled.

"I'm sorry Jack. Mac offered me $100 if I would stay and help him inventory." Kate apologized.

"You couldn't call or send a text?" Jack asked.

"You know Jack I seem to recall having a similar conversation with you once and if it's okay with you, I'm going to be about as sorry as you were that night. I got busy and didn't think to call. Get over it." Kate snapped.

Jack started to respond, but stopped himself. The last thing he needed to do was suggest that his situation was different or some how insinuate that his job was more important and therefore so was his excuse because it would serve no useful purpose and only cause an ugly fight and he didn't want to fight with her. He sat up and patted the cushion beside him. She let her tired body drop onto the couch with him and welcomed the hello kiss from him that went on longer than either had anticipated it would.

"Wow, that was quite a kiss." She said and smiled at him.

"I missed you." He said.

"I missed you too. The tree is great by the way. Thank you." She said and gazed at the flickering lights.

"It was Maggie's idea. She was standing behind the couch last night. She said she felt bad for being so mean to you and wanted to get you a Christmas Tree so you wouldn't feel so sad." Jack explained.

"Aww that's so sweet. I guess she wasn't just being manipulative this morning." Kate said.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

"Nothing, I just wasn't sure if she was being civil because the little girl with a kind heart was surfacing or because she really wanted that braid badly." Kate said making him laugh lightly.

"Nah, she's not that clever. You can tell when she's being manipulative and it's always amusing to watch her try to pull it off because she has no idea how transparent she is." Jack said.

"So I guess you weren't shocked by the way she was behaving?" Kate asked.

"No, I was. Manipulative I'm used to, but defiant, demanding, disrespectful foul-mouthed brat was quite the eye opener. I don't like it and had to remind her of how much I don't like it a few times today." Jack said.

"So did the two of you put that tree up together?" She asked.

"We did and we bought you a present." He said and handed her a small bag.

Kate took the bag from him and looked inside. She reached in and pulled the box out. It was an ornament, a cute little puppy ornament.

"He's cute. Thank you." Kate said her voice cracking a little.

"Maggie wanted me to buy you a real one, but I thought you might appreciate a break from the live version for awhile." He said and kissed her temple while tightening the arm he had around her.

"You shouldn't do things like this for me." She said softly and began crying.

"Kate, what's the matter?" Jack asked as he tried to comfort her.

"I don't deserve any of this Jack. I wasn't working late, I was with Natalie. She offered to let me move in with her, split the bills right down the middle." She told him.

Jack backed away from her, obviously hurt and confused.

"What?" Was all he could manage.

"I'm sorry Jack, but I don't think I can do this." Kate told him.

"You're throwing in the towel after one day?" Jack asked unable to mask his disappointment.

"I don't think I want to do this." She cried.

"What happened to I want to be with you more than anything?" He asked.

"I do Jack, more than anything, but not like this. I feel like an intruder not only in your home but in your life. You have this whole other life that I never knew existed and I don't think I want to be a part of it. I thought that maybe I could do it, but I just don't think I can, not now." She told him.

"Not now? What the hell does that even mean Kate?" He asked.

"Jack please don't be hurt, this is all about me." She pleaded with him.

"You knew this morning that you were going to find a way out didn't you?" He asked.

"Jack, please, I still want us to see each other; I just don't think I can play house with you." Kate pleaded with him.

"It's fine Kate. Asking you or any woman to dive into this mess is too much. My offer to help you out still stands so if you need a loan until you get back on your feet let me know. Okay?" He offered, strangely calm again.

"Don't do that Jack." She said.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Pretend that you're fine." She said.

"Kate, I have to be okay with this because it's unfair for me not to be." He said.

"You're always such a grown-up Jack. I kind of liked your anger and disappointment. It proved you care enough to protest." She sighed.

"What good does it do to protest Kate? Should I guilt you into staying here with me?" He asked.

"No, but it's okay to want that Jack. It doesn't make you a bad person." She said.

"Or maybe if I behave like a selfish prick it makes it easier for you to walk away." He said.

"I'm not walking away Jack." She argued.

"Okay Kate." He sighed.

"I'm not!" She insisted.

"Kate, I don't want to fight with you. You want me to so that when this doesn't work out between us you can pin it on me and this moment, but baby this one's all on you. I love you and I've tried to make a commitment to you and the offer is there Kate if you ever decide that you really are ready for the commitment that you want and need, but are running away from." Jack said calmly, extremely disappointed, but doing his best to suck it up.

"I'm not running away Jack." She said.

"Okay Kate, you're not running away. I know this situation with my daughter isn't ideal and if you can't or don't want to be involved and that's what this is really about, I understand. I will find time to see you if you want to continue this relationship. So when are you moving in with Natalie?" He asked, his tone patronizing.

"I guess I'll go back there now. You know Jack protesting and trying to guilt me into staying would've been a normal reaction. Psycho analyzing me and being an all around condescending prick makes me wonder what I ever saw in you that I thought I couldn't live without." She said angrily, a steady stream of tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Well there you go. I guess you got your fight after all. How about I add pushy and over-protective to condescending and suggest that going back out at 1:30 in the morning is not only insane it's dangerous and that you need to stay here and do what you need to do tomorrow." He said, staying calm and losing the tone that had pissed her off.

"What do you want from me Jack?" She asked.

"Want? I don't want anything Kate. I'm trying to build a life with you, but I'm starting to think that maybe only one of us is ready for a committed relationship.

"That's not fair, none of this is fair." She said sadly and wiped the tears from her face.

"No, it's not fair. You should be able to get used to me and just me without the added baggage, but it is what it is Kate and there is nothing I can do to change it. What is scaring you Kate? Why are you running away from me again?" Jack asked.

"Jack, I don't know if I can do this and I need for you to stop acting like everything between you and me is the same." She said.

"What's different Kate?" He asked.

"It's all different Jack and I need you to admit that it's different and that this isn't all about me running scared." She told him.

"It's different." He said softly.

"Thank you." She said.

"Kate, things are different, the situation is different, but how I feel about you hasn't changed. Have your feelings for me changed? Are you not ready for a committed relationship with me? Do you need more time, because if you do, just say so and we'll go from there." He said.

"No, it's not that Jack. You're all I think about and the only man I want to be with, but it's so different now and I'm scared I'm not going to be what you want or need me to be. I don't know if I can do this. Your daughter is very angry and I understand she's a little girl who is very upset and confused, but I don't know if I'm willing to be her punching bag just so I can be with you." She admitted.

"I don't want you to ever consider being her punching bag Kate." Jack said.

"So what, I run and tattle to you every time she says or does something inappropriate so you can get mad and punish her and make her believe you've replaced her with me?" Kate asked.

"No, I want you to trust that I would never make my daughter feel that way. I'm not your father Kate." Jack said.

"Maybe my father felt the same way, but then realized it was too hard so he just made a choice. What if it gets too hard Jack and you have to make a choice?" Kate said, old wounds opened up and past fears and abandonment issues on full display and him finally understanding why she was running from him again.

He pulled her into his lap, her legs straddling his and pulled her close, holding her tight and kissing her softly before getting her to look at him.

"Kate, it's okay to admit that you're afraid I'm going to be forced to choose and that I won't choose you." He said softly and kissed her again, pulling back, seeing the fresh tears and hugging her.

"It's not okay Jack, it's childish and selfish. What is the matter with me?" She cried.

"Nothing is the matter with you Kate. It's a legitimate concern, but baby you have to believe me when I say that in my world that isn't a choice. I don't care how hard it gets, I could never choose between the two of you. I love you and I want us to be together and I know the road is going to get bumpy, but you're worth it to me. The only question you need to ask yourself tonight is whether or not I am worth it to you." He reasoned.

"Of course you are." She said.

"Then stay Kate. Stay here and make this your home and trust that I would never allow anything or anyone to force me to make a choice like that." He said, pulling out of the hug and holding her face in his hands.

She gazed into his soft, warm eyes, anticipating the kiss that was coming and moaning into his mouth when he closed his mouth over hers and resituated them so he could lay her back onto the couch. He tried to pull out of the kiss and she hungrily insisted they keep going, her hands immediately moving to his belt buckle.

"Kate, wait." He protested as her hand slipped inside the front of his jeans.

"Make love to me Jack. Please." She panted and began pushing his jeans down his hips.

She needed this, needed him to love her right here and now and truth be told he needed to love her right there in that moment and not interrupt things by suggesting they go somewhere more private. It was most likely going to be hungry and quick and incredibly satisfying and Maggie was sound asleep so he gave in and began undressing her, making quick work of every stitch of clothing on her body and pushing inside of her. She moaned loudly and he quickly swallowed her in a wet, sloppy passionate kiss to silence her, his hips driving in and out of her and her coming quickly before convincing him to disconnect so they could switch positions.

He lay on his back and watched her slowly connect with him, their nude bodies slowly rocking in the light from the television and the Christmas tree, both knowing they could be busted by a 12 year old at any moment, but willing to take the risk as the predicted quick, hungry love-making continued on into a slow, lengthy expression of love, him finally stilling her hips and releasing and her following right behind him with another mind numbing orgasm.

He sat up, still buried inside of her and held her close, kissing her deeply and finally pulling back, smiling as she let her head rest on his shoulder, her hands slowly moving over his bare back and his doing the same.

"I trust you. I'll stay." She whispered in his ear.


	32. Chapter 32

He could hear the child stirring her fork through her scrambled eggs, the scraping sound of the metal fork against the ceramic plate striking a nerve and making him look up from his laptop.

"Maggie, if you're done go wash up." Jack said.

"Do you have any pop tarts?" She asked.

"No." He said.

"Can we go buy groceries? Your cereal is gross and I really don't like eggs." Maggie complained.

"Since when do you not like eggs? You've been eating scrambled eggs since you were a baby." Jack argued.

"I don't know. They taste funny. Please dad. You don't have any good food in your house and I'm starving." She whined, making him feel bad.

"Want me to make you something else?" He asked.

"Can we get dressed and go eat pancakes like we always do when I stay with you?" She asked using her sweetest voice and most irresistible face and making him chuckle at how easily she could get to him.

"Go take a shower and we'll go out for breakfast before we go enroll you in school." He said.

"I have to go to school? I'm on Christmas break." She whined.

"Don't whine and I'm just enrolling you before the school breaks for the holiday. Just because you managed to snag an extra week or so doesn't mean everyone else is already out too." He told her.

"Can I take shower tonight?" She asked.

"Maggie, I let you skip last night because you were exhausted, but you aren't going out in public like that. You're dirty and you stink." He said.

"I don't stink!" She objected.

"Yes, you do. Go take a shower and while you do that I'll wake Kate and see if she wants to join us for breakfast." Jack said.

"No! Just us!" Maggie screamed.

"That's enough!" Jack snapped, finally losing his patience with her.

"But daddy." She whined.

"I said enough. Now go take a shower." Jack said sternly and watched her stomp away toward the main bathroom.

She could feel the light kisses on her neck and shoulders and opened her eyes, his kind, warm face smiling back at her. She groggily stretched her arms causing the sheets and blankets to fall away, her soft, warm breasts on display and making him lick his lips before delicately covering them again. She looked at him for a moment and then closed her eyes again.

"Just five more minutes." She mumbled.

"You can have as many minutes as you want, I just wanted to see if you were interested in joining Maggie and me for breakfast." He spoke softly, smiling as she rolled onto her side and nuzzled deeper under the blankets.

'I'm beat Jack." She said.

"I know you are. Are you working today? Do you want me to set an alarm?" He asked and kissed her on the cheek.

"Mmm" She mumbled and was asleep again, making him laugh lightly and decide she didn't have to go to work.

Jack sat across from his daughter in a booth at their favorite pancake house. He bit back a grin when she told the waitress she wanted a cup of coffee and that she'd take it black, amused by how she was caught between wanting to stay a little girl and wanting to be seen as more mature. She took a sip of the black coffee, made a face and swallowed it even though he could tell she wanted to spit it out.

"You might want to try some cream and sugar with that sweetheart." Jack suggested.

"You don't use cream and sugar." Maggie objected.

"No, but a lot of people do. Try it, or get something else if you want." Jack offered.

"I'm fine." Maggie insisted.

"I think you'll like your new school Maggie and they have a basketball team. They said you could practice with them tonight if you want to." Jack said.

"Will you come watch?" Maggie asked.

"I will tonight, but I can't promise I can be there every night. I have to go back to work tomorrow." He told her.

"I don't want to stay by myself." Maggie complained.

"You're not going to. I'm getting a nanny. We're meeting her this afternoon." Jack said.

"Dad, I'm too old for a nanny." Maggie protested.

"You're not too old to have someone looking out for you and making sure you get to where you need be and making sure you get fed. Some days I won't get home until long after you've gone to bed." Jack told her.

"This sucks dad! You never make time for me!" Maggie screamed.

"Lower your voice." Jack told her.

"I'm done. Let's leave." Maggie demanded, crossing her arms over her chest, falling backward into the cushioned back of the booth and pouting.

"They haven't brought you your breakfast yet." He reminded her.

"I don't care. I hate you and I don't want to look at you." Maggie spat angrily.

"Well you don't have to look at me to eat and you will adjust your attitude immediately and eat the food you begged for or you're going to find yourself confined to your room tonight instead of practicing basketball." Jack told her.

"You can't do that. If I'm on the team I have to practice, but I guess you're too dumb to know that." Maggie said hatefully.

"I don't have to let you play at all. Is that what you want because if I hear one more hateful comment come out your mouth that's exactly what's going to happen." Jack warned sternly just as the waitress placed their plates in front of them.

"May I have a glass of chocolate milk please." Maggie asked the waitress in a civil tone, taking her father's last warning to heart, but refusing to acknowledge him.

"Coffee too strong for you hon?" The waitress asked.

"No, but it's bad for me. Did you ever wonder what kind of parent lets a kid drink coffee?" Maggie asked the waitress who could sense the tension between the man and the child, nodded in response to Jack's polite smile and walked away without answering.

"You're right Maggie, and since you're living with me now I have to think about things like your daily diet and what is or isn't good for you on a daily basis. I'm certain the bubble gum needs to go, as well as the bottle of Mountain Dew you like to drink with your dinner and French fries and those cream filled chocolate cakes you like so much will wreck havoc on your developing body. Enjoy those pancakes sweetheart because well, I think a really responsible parent would insist on grapefruit, yogurt and granola for breakfast don't you?" Jack asked and shoveled a spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

"You can take all that stuff away from me too if you want. I've lost everything else, why not all my favorite foods too." Maggie said sadly.

"Why are you so angry with me Maggs?" Jack asked, the child's genuine sadness getting to him and making him wish he could just make everything okay for her again.

"I don't know." Maggie said softly and shrugged.

He watched her for a moment as she slowly ate the pancakes, her mouth quivering as she fought back the tears that were threatening, worried about her and wondering how long she'd been as unhappy as she apparently was.

"You know I love you no matter what right?" Jack asked.

She nodded and a few tears escaped down her cheeks. He moved from his side of the booth and scooted in beside her, wrapping his arm around her and hugging her tightly as he kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry daddy." She said.

"Everything is going to be okay baby, I promise." He said softly.

She finally settled down enough to eat most of her breakfast and they spent the next couple of hours enrolling her in her new school. The principal walked them around and introduced Maggie to her teachers and to the children in the classrooms. They walked her to the gymnasium and introduced her to the gym teacher who was also the girl's basketball coach. The children in gym class were playing basketball and the gym teacher sensing that the little girl was dying to join them invited her to do so while Jack and the principal sat in the bleachers and watched.

"She seems like a very bright child." The principal said.

"She is. She's going through a difficult time right now, so don't hesitate to call me if she acts out." Jack said.

"Well, 6th grade is typically a difficult transition for most of our students. It's their first year of middle school and they're tasked with more responsibility and adjusting to having different teachers and changing classes. Add in the physical and emotional changes happening to them and we encounter quite a bit of acting out, but if Maggie is struggling more than most we'll keep you informed." The principal said.

"So I guess her hating me one minute and sweetly calling me daddy the next is normal?" Jack asked and chuckled lightly.

"I don't know Maggie's personal situation so I can't say for sure, but they do become difficult and somewhat combative at this age. They're battling hard for the independence they think they're old enough to have and this is the age when they really begin to test authority." She told him.

"Yeah I suppose. I guess you just never believe that your child is going to behave that way." Jack said.

He sat quietly and watched his daughter, who was much smaller than most of the kids, crouch low and make herself even smaller so she could dribble the ball down the court without much interference and marveled at how good she was as he tried to remember the last time he'd seen her play. She dribbled in under the basket and delivered a perfect lay up. The other kids were congratulating her and giving her high fives, but one girl wasn't as pleased as the other kids, approached her and shoved her down.

"You aren't getting my spot on the team. I am the point guard." The girl told her.

Jack was up and headed down the bleachers, but stopped when he saw his daughter stand up, dust herself off and stand up for herself.

"The coach decides who plays not you. See ya tonight." Maggie told her and began walking toward the bleachers with the same confidence her father entered every surgery suite with.

"I think Maggie is going to do just fine here Mr. Shephard." The principal said and smiled at him.

"Yeah, I think she is." Jack agreed unable to hide the pride he was feeling at the moment.

They entered the condo, both in a good mood, a mood Jack hoped might last more than a couple of hours. He'd bought Maggie a new I-Pod the day before and promised her she could spend the next few hours downloading music before the nanny he'd hired showed up to meet her. She was still very unhappy about the nanny situation, but was happy about the I-Pod and about going to basketball practice later so at the moment she wasn't giving her father any grief.

"Download as many songs you want Maggie, but don't try to sneak any of that inappropriate stuff past me because I will be checking and if I find one you'll lose the I-Pod for a month. Are we clear?" Jack told her and sat her down in front of his laptop.

"I promise I won't download the bad music. Can I have a laptop of my own for Christmas?" She asked.

"We'll see how things go." He said.

"Are you going to stand there and watch me?" She asked becoming a bit frustrated with him.

"No, I'm going to trust you not to wander away from the music site and go see if Kate is still sleeping." Jack said and left the room.

He entered the bedroom quietly and closed the door. He could see the lump in the bed, but wasn't sure if the lump was still sleeping or not. He moved closer and leaned over her, chuckling when she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him onto the bed with her. He rolled to the side of her so he wouldn't squash her and she snuggled in close to him.

"Get under the blankets with me and I promise to make it worth your while." She said.

"Do I really get to have you around for dinner tonight?" He asked happily as he kicked his shoes off and joined her under the blankets.

"Gee Jack I was away for one whole day and night. You'd think I worked your hours or something." She teased and disappeared under the blankets.

He lifted the blankets and laughed lightly as she shot him a mischievous grin and began unbuckling his belt. He let the blankets drop and stared up at the ceiling, closing his eyes when he felt his zipper going down.

"Do I not get any say in this?" He asked in a teasing fashion.

He felt her crawling up his body under the blanket, smiling at her when her head popped out from under the blankets and kissed him quickly.

"You get to say 'Kate, you're the most incredible woman I've ever known' when I'm finished. That's if you're still able to form a complete sentence of course." She giggled and tried to disappear under the blanket again, stopped by his large hands taking hold of her and pulling her back to him.

He rolled her onto her back and hovered over her, kissing her deeply and then pulling back just enough to talk to her.

"Kate, you're the most incredible woman I've ever known. You're also completely naked and warm and cuddly and seductive all at once and I think I'd rather make this a joint effort, unless of course you don't want to." He said, his voice soft and sexy.

"I always want to." She breathed into his mouth as she pulled him back in for another kiss.


	33. Chapter 33

They lay in the center of the bed holding one another and trying to decide whether or not they should get up, the knock at the door answering that question for them.

"Daddy I have a bad headache. Can I please have some aspirin?" Maggie called through the door.

"I'll be out in a minute." Jack called back.

"Please hurry." Maggie said.

They could hear her getting sick in the bathroom and Jack quickly moved off the bed and threw some clothes on. He left the bedroom, walked down the hall to the bathroom and saw her sitting on the floor with her head resting on her folded knees. There was nothing in the toilet but some saliva. He knelt down beside her and brushed a gentle hand over the back of her head.

"Can you get up?" He asked.

"I can't, it hurts so much and I get sick if I stand up." She told him.

"Have you had headaches like this before?" He asked.

"Yes and mom puts a cold cloth on my head and makes me lay in the dark. Please don't ask me a bunch of questions dad. I feel too sick." Maggie pleaded with him.

"Okay baby. Come on." He said softly and picked her up.

He carried her into her bedroom and laid her on the bed before walking to the window and closing the blinds tight, not noticing Kate pop her head in the door.

"Is she okay?" Kate asked making him jump.

"She's describing what sounds like a migraine." Jack said and sat on the bed beside Maggie.

"Can I do anything?" Kate asked.

"There's an ice pack in the pantry. Could you fill it with ice and grab a couple of aspirin?" Jack asked.

"Sure." Kate said and left them alone.

"Sweetie, did your mom take you to the doctor about this?" Jack asked.

"No, it goes away if I rest." Maggie said, eyes closed tight.

"Did you ever have these headaches before everything changed?" Jack asked her.

"I don't know. Can I please have some aspirin?" Maggie pleaded.

"Kate's bringing it. Does the aspirin usually help?" He asked.

"Daddy please, I don't feel good, I don't want to talk." Maggie whined.

"Okay, we'll talk later, just keep your eyes closed and try to relax." Jack soothed.

Kate returned with the ice pack and the aspirin and some water. Jack helped her sit up so she could swallow the aspirin and then helped her lay back down. He tried to place the ice pack on her head, but she refused it.

"No! I want a cold cloth like mom does it!" She yelled and became agitated and weepy.

"Okay, okay, just settle down. I'll get a cold cloth just like mom does it." Jack spoke softly to her while Kate left to get a cool cloth for him.

Kate returned with the cloth and he placed it gently over her forehead.

"I want mom." Maggie cried.

"Shh, just try to relax sweetheart." Jack tried to comfort her.

"Daddy." She said, eyes still closed tight.

"Yes baby, I'm right here." He said and she peeked at him.

"Do you remember when I was seven and had that bad fever and you came to stay with me in my hospital bed so I wouldn't be scared?" Maggie asked.

"I remember." He answered.

"Am I too big for that now?" She asked, her bottom lip quivering.

Jack lay down beside her and she cuddled up next to him, laying her head on his chest, his arm wrapped around her providing comfort and protection.

"Don't ever get too big to need me. Okay?" He said and kissed the top of her head.

Kate could the see the child relaxing. She understood exactly how comforting and protective that big, strong arm connected to that big loving heart could make you feel and smiled at them. She didn't think it was possible to love Jack any more than she already did, but watching him with his daughter the past few days had made her love him in ways she'd never dreamed about.

Jack joined her in the living room about 20 minutes later and sat beside her without relaxing back into the couch, his mind obviously elsewhere.

"Is she okay?" Kate asked.

"She's asleep." Jack said, his tone telling her that he was concerned.

"But you don't think she's okay?" Kate asked.

"I don't know. She was fine Kate and a headache that was so painful it was making her nauseous and unable to stand just comes out of nowhere? Is my kid so stressed out that it's making her physically ill and if so why. I can't help but start to wonder what the hell happened to her that I don't know about." Jack said in a frustrated and worried tone.

"Come on Jack don't go there, don't do that to yourself. She's been through a lot of change and I'm sure it is having some affect on her, but unless she starts to show some real signs that something awful has happened to her let's just chalk this up to a stressful couple of days finally getting to her." Kate said as she gently rubbed his neck and shoulders.

He turned his head and looked at her and smiled.

"You know I could really get used to this." He told her as she continued to massage his neck.

"I could get used to doing it, but I'd prefer we be in bed and naked while I'm doing it." She teased, making him relax back into the couch and put his arm around her.

"If we were naked and in bed I think I could come up with other ways to relieve the stress from both of us." He chuckled and kissed her on the cheek.

"What makes you think I'm stressed?" She asked.

"Because you are and because you haven't told me why it is you needed money so bad yesterday you put in a 12 hour day, but today you're not working at all." Jack said.

"How do you do that?" She asked in amazement.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Seem like you're focused solely on one thing, but are freakishly aware of everything without ever giving any indication that you've clued into something somebody is struggling with until you find the perfect moment to bring it up? Do you have special powers Jack?" She asked making him laugh.

"My special powers seem to be limited to you and they don't always work because I wasn't reading your signals well at all for a long time, but hey, maybe now that I've finally managed to tune-in I won't screw this up." He said, his tone hopeful.

"I suspect if either one of us is going to screw this up it's going to be me, but let's think positive and assume it's all progress from now on." She said.

"So why aren't you going to work today Kate?" Jack asked.

"Mac let me go." Kate said regretfully.

"Why would he do that?" Jack asked.

"Because he sold the restaurant and yesterday was its last day." Kate said.

"What? How does something like that happen so fast?" Jack asked.

"It didn't happen that fast. He's known for a long time and was going to tell me the day of the fire. It's going to become a bar only and the new owner said I could have a job, but I'm really not interested in working in that environment. I'll find something else." She explained.

"I'm sorry. I know you really liked that job." Jack said.

"I'm sorry too. I know you really liked eating there." Kate said.

"Well, the food really wasn't the main attraction." He said and smiled at her.

"You're sweet. Lots of changes lately huh?" She said.

"Yeah, but they're really nice changes and Kate, even though you don't want me to, I'll take care of you so take your time and find a job that you'll love as much as you loved that one." Jack offered.

"I know you will and I love you for that and I would love you even more if you'd let me use this opportunity to do what I can do to take care of you." She said.

"What do you mean?" He asked, never daring to hope, much less consider that she was going to offer what she was about to offer and taken completely by surprise by it.

"I know you've already hired someone to look after Maggie while you're working, but if it's not too late, I'd love to do that for you Jack. I thought about it a lot while we were in San Diego, but I was so confused about us and I didn't know how to offer without making it sound like I was using your situation with your daughter to push for something more permanent between you and me." She said.

"So yesterday you were thinking about taking this on while you were also thinking about running away from me?" He asked.

"I know. It's crazy. My friend Lauren manages one of those print/copy/mail places and she said she'd hire me and let me work around Maggie's schedule. It's perfect. I can help you out and still work and I want to do this for you Jack, for us, for Maggie." Kate explained with a hint of hesitation.

"But? I can definitely hear a 'but' in there." Jack said.

"But, I feel like I'm stepping over some boundary if I offer to help you with her. Wanting to help you and feeling like I had no business offering to help added to the anxiety that was making me want to run away from you. God, listen to me. Why would you even consider entrusting your child to me? If you don't think it's a good idea, it's okay Jack, I'll understand." Kate said.

"Are you sure about this Kate? She is more than a handful. I wanted to throw her across the room a few times today." He said.

"You have two women in your life that love you as much as you love them and I think those two women need to spend time together, get to know each other and figure out what kind of relationship they're going to have. I also think it'd be better for Maggie. This way she only has to deal with one stranger in her home when her dad isn't home." Kate said.

"Kate, if you promise me you will stop worrying about stepping over boundaries and start being a part of this life of mine instead of feeling like you're intruding then I will happily accept your offer." Jack said.

"What do you mean be a part of it?" Kate asked.

"I mean that we are three people together instead of one man split down the middle by the two women in his life. If you're going to take this on and you really want to be involved I'm opening the door to that part of my life and asking you to join me. We're a team and we stick together, especially when the third member of our little tribe attempts to divide and conquer and trust me she will." Jack said making her laugh lightly.

"Listen to us talking about her like she's a weapon of mass destruction. Surely if we stick together we can handle whatever she throws at us." Kate said.

"I think we can do anything if we stick together." He said sweetly and kissed her.

"How do you think she'll handle the news?" Kate asked.

"I guess that depends on which little girl surfaces from the bedroom, the one that calls me daddy and wants to buy you a Christmas Tree because she wants you to feel better or the one says she hates me and calls me a bad parent and stupid to my face." Jack said.

"She really did that?" Kate asked.

"She did, so I'm thinking my daughter has some anger issues, but then she gets shoved down by another kid while they were playing basketball and she just calmly walks away. Go figure." Jack said.

"Hormones?" Kate asked.

"I hope so because if her moods could actually get worse I'm sure I won't be winning any father of the year awards." Jack chuckled.

"I don't know, judging by what I've seen so far you should win it every year." She said and crawled into his lap and kissed him passionately, feeling his hands move up the back of her shirt and pulling back.

"Mmm….somebody is extra horny today." She teased.

"Want me to leave you alone?" He asked.

"No, I want to take a shower and thought you might want to wash my back." She said seductively and kissed him again.

"Let me call this woman and tell her I won't be in need of her services and check on Maggie and then me and my magical loofah will be in." He told her, kissing her quickly and smiling at her.

"Magical loofah? Is that what we're calling it this week?" She teased as she reached between them, grabbing a handful of him and moaning lightly into his mouth as she locked him up in another steamy kiss.

They'd just had what he considered a major development in their relationship and now she was hungrily attacking his mouth and ready to make a meal out of him where they sat and he wasn't about to kill the moment by pulling his cell phone out and making a phone call. He stood with her and she wrapped her arms and legs around him securely, the kissing, which was now a mutual effort having slowed to deep, wet and sensual continued as he walked them to their bedroom and closed and locked the door.

He sat on the bed with her in his lap and they finally broke the kiss, foreheads touching and both breathless. He opened his eyes and pulled back so he could see her, his eyes so soft and full of love it took her breath away for a moment. He reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it up and off of her, tossing it across the room and burying his face in her breasts. She pulled his shirt off and pushed him backward onto the bed, straddling his stomach, supported by her arms and hands which were planted on either side of his head. He reached up and gently cupped one of the breasts that were just inches from his mouth and slowly encouraged her to move closer until he was able close his mouth over the nipple, his warm, wet tongue soothing and exciting at the same time, each hard, urgent suck triggering a pleasant tingling jolt in her groin.

He alternated from one breast to the other as she moaned softly and grabbed his free hand, guiding it along with her own down the front of the lounge pants she was wearing, his fingers sinking into her wet folds, and making both of them let go of something that resembled a whimper. She pushed her breast in closer, urging him to suck harder while his fingers spread the slippery wetness over the sensitive nub between her legs, finally focusing solely on the nub and rubbing circles over it as she continued to pull one breast away and feed him the other one, her finally holding herself up with her arms, closing her eyes, throwing her head back and biting her lip as the orgasm rocked her lower half.

When she came back down to earth he rolled her onto her back and kissed her passionately while he pushed the lounge pants down, wanting them out of his way in the worst way. Once he had them to her knees she worked them off the rest of the way with her legs and feet, feeling his large hand cup her heat and opening up for him, both of them moaning into each other's mouth as he penetrated her with his finger, slowly fucking her with it as he left her lips and began kissing and nibbling his way over her neck and shoulders, feeling her legs open wider and smiling against her heated flesh.

"Please Jack." She whispered desperately when she felt his tongue gently gliding over the creases between her legs while his finger continued to slide in and out of her.

He placed his mouth over her clit and began sucking on it, bringing an explosive orgasm out of her almost immediately and making him wonder if he could ever hope to get enough of this woman, this beautiful sexy woman who always responded to every one of his touches, making him feel like the fucking king of the world every time she did. He moved up her body, hovering over her and sharing a wet, sloppy kiss while she unfastened his jeans and began pushing them down his hips, feeling him position himself and push inside of her as soon as she freed the part of him that was about to explode.

But once inside of her where he needed to be he relaxed and allowed her finish working the jeans down his legs with her feet. He kicked them off and rolled them over, her sitting up and driving him in deeper before lifting slowly and sliding back down slowly repeatedly, allowing him to watch the connection and watch himself disappear inside of her. He liked to watch and the longer he watched the hungrier he got and when he got to the edge that she liked to push him over he began roughly and urgently taking her in every position he could think of, constantly switching to make it last longer and finally settling into the missionary position and finishing with a slow, intense bang so he could watch her face while she came and while he came inside of her.

They lay on their sides facing one another, sheets draped over their lower halves, both fighting the urge to sleep. He cupped the side of her face in his hand and kissed her softly.

"Thank you Kate." He said.

"For what?" She asked.

"Mac didn't sell the restaurant and he didn't let you go. You're going to call him later and quit." He said.

She moved off the bed, standing and holding her hand out until he was standing, facing her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, went up onto her tiptoes and kissed him.

"You're welcome." She said, smiling at him, taking him by the hand and leading him into the bathroom.


	34. Chapter 34

Maggie entered the living room a couple of hours later, quiet and seemingly not quite awake. She sat next to Jack on the couch and stared off into nothing. He watched her for a minute or two and finally put his arm around her and kissed her temple.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm kind of hungry." She said quietly.

"Want me to make you a grilled cheese sandwich to hold you over until dinner?" He asked.

"I don't like grilled cheese." She said.

"Since when?" He asked.

"I don't know. Can't we just have dinner now or do we have to wait until the nanny lady leaves?" She asked.

"Yeah, about that Maggie, how would you like it if Kate were to hang out with you when I'm at work and make sure you get to school and stuff instead of me hiring a nanny?" Jack asked and braced himself for the fit that he was certain would follow.

"Sounds okay, can we please eat now?" Maggie asked shocking both Jack and Kate.

"Baby are you sure you're okay?" Jack asked.

"No daddy I'm not okay, I'm starving and we have to go to basketball practice pretty soon." Maggie sighed.

"Do you like peanut butter Maggie?" Kate asked.

"Yes." Maggie answered.

"How about I make you some peanut butter crackers to snack on and then we'll make your dad buy us some dinner after you're done practicing." Kate suggested as blown away by the child's extremely mellow demeanor as Jack was.

"Okay and some milk please." She agreed.

Jack and Kate disappeared into the kitchen while Maggie grabbed the remote control and began flipping through the television channels. He watched Kate lay about 10 crackers out on a plate and begin applying peanut butter to them.

"That was too easy. I guess the trick to getting Maggie to quietly agree to things these days is to keep her groggy." Jack chuckled and poured a glass of milk.

"Yeah, imagine how peaceful life would be if parents were allowed to drug their kids." Kate teased.

Maggie ate her snack, changed her clothes and didn't argue when Jack suggested Kate come watch the practice too. They sat in the bleachers not really paying attention to the practice and discussing where they might eat dinner when the yelling on the court refocused their attention toward the activity on the basketball court.

"You did it on purpose!" Maggie yelled.

"Did not! Don't blame me if you're so clumsy you tripped over your own feet." The girl taunted.

"You're just jealous that I'm a better ball handler." Maggie spat hatefully.

"Yeah, if you handle the ball so great then why do I have it instead of you?" The girl asked.

"Because you cheated!" Maggie yelled.

"Girls, knock it off! Debra give the ball back to Maggie and let's try this again." The coach ordered.

The girls reset and in-bounded the ball. Maggie began taking the ball down the court, ducking defenders and switching the ball from one hand to the other in route to set up a play at the basket.

"Throw it to me stupid I'm wide open!" The girl that had been taunting her yelled.

Maggie stopped, turned in the direction of the girl who was clearly no longer looking to get a pass from her, but got one anyone when Maggie purposely thrust the ball directly at her face, smacking her right between the eyes and sending her backward, her head hitting the gym floor with a loud thud that immediately brought Jack out of the bleachers and running toward the obviously injured child. The coach was kneeling over her when he got there and he shot a look of intense disapproval toward his daughter before kneeling down and diverting all of his attention the dazed bleeding child.

"Who are you?" The girl's mother asked as Jack began to examine the girl.

"It's okay, I'm a doctor. Her name is Debra right?" Jack asked.

"Yes, is she going to be okay?" The mother asked.

"Debra my name is Jack, can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?" He asked and held three fingers up in front of her eyes.

"Five, no six." The child mumbled groggily.

"What's wrong with her?" The mother pleaded with him.

"Just relax, give her a few minutes to clear her head. Can someone get me a cold cloth for her nose?" Jack asked.

"My nose hurts so much." She moaned.

Jack gently squeezed the girl's nose making her cry out.

"Sorry. I don't think it's broken, but you might want to get your doctor to confirm that once the swelling goes down." Jack said to the girl's mother.

He hovered over the child for a few more minutes before once again asking her tell him how many fingers he was holding up. She answered correctly this time. He felt around her neck and she giggled telling him all the reflexes were responding normally.

"Is she okay, should I take her to the emergency room?" The worried mother asked.

"I think she's okay. She might have a very mild concussion and you should definitely get her nosed checked out, especially if the eyes start to blacken." Jack said and turned his attention to his daughter who at the moment didn't appear to be the least bit sorry.

Jack helped the little girl sit up and guided her hand to the cold compress so she could hold it to her nose before helping her stand. He then turned to the coach/teacher and shot her an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into Maggie." Jack apologized.

"It was her fault dad! She's being a bitch!" Maggie yelled.

"That's enough out of you. Go sit in the bleachers with Kate." Jack said sternly.

"You go sit in the bleachers with Kate!" Maggie spat angrily making Jack want to snatch her up and apply some of Stacy's brand of discipline, but instead choosing to divert his attention back to Maggie's coach.

"It's okay Mr. Shephard, kids fight. Have Maggie come back tomorrow evening and apologize to Debra and I'll have her run some laps and we'll move forward." The coach offered.

"I appreciate that, but I can't allow my daughter to behave the way she's behaved tonight so I'm thinking I'm not going to be able to allow her to play, not this season anyway." Jack said.

"I can't tell you how to discipline you daughter, but if she's having difficulty adjusting to a new situation I do believe that taking away something familiar that she apparently loves very much might do more harm than good. I'll make her run a whole bunch of laps if that'll make you feel better." The coach offered, making him smile.

"Okay and thank you." Jack said, shaking her hand and walking toward his daughter who immediately dropped her head when she saw him coming.

"I'm sorry daddy." She said and began crying when he didn't respond, but instead took her by the hand and led her out of the gym.

They entered the condo with their dinner in bags, Jack still not speaking to his daughter and Maggie looking more defiant than ever. Jack disappeared down the hallway that led to the bedrooms and Kate carried the food into the dining room and set it on the table while Maggie plopped herself on the couch.

"Bring me my food Kate. I'm eating out here." Maggie demanded.

"It's messy so you should probably come to the table." Kate replied.

"You should probably shut up and just do what I say." Maggie shot back hatefully stinging Kate more than it should have.

"Maggie please don't talk to me like that. Come on sweetheart, come eat before you get into more trouble." Kate pleaded with her.

Maggie rolled her eyes and angrily approached Kate in the dining room, not noticing that Jack had been watching and listening the entire time, wanting to see if Kate could handle her because he wasn't sure if even he could any longer.

"I'll talk to you any way I want! You're not the boss of me, you're not anything. You're just a stupid waitress that my dad is paying to live here. So give me my food and shut up about it bitch." Maggie told her, as hateful as anything as Jack had ever seen or heard from his child and he felt both deeply saddened and angered by it.

Jack was about to step in, but stopped when he saw Kate drop the bag of food on the table and bend down to Maggie's level.

"You're pissed off at the world Maggie, I get it. I get it because I've been exactly where you are right now, but don't you think for one minute that you can treat me like the hired help and get away with it or that you can upset me so much I'll leave your dad because it's not going to work. I love him very much and I want you and I to be friends, but if you'd rather not that's okay too. Your food is in the bag. I'd suggest you go find a plate and something to drink and sit your butt down in that chair and eat it before you make your dad so angry he decides to send you to bed hungry." Kate told her.

"You won't get a plate for me?" Maggie asked, the snotty, hateful tone completely gone.

"When you decide to show me some respect and ask me for things nicely I will be happy to help you out, but until then, you're on your own kiddo." Kate told her and walked out of the dining room, into the living room past Jack, disappearing down the hallway, obviously hurt by the cruelty Maggie had projected toward her, but not about to let the girl see just how hurt.

Jack entered the dining room and sat down at the table. Maggie returned with a plate, saw him sitting there and proceeded to dump her BBQ sandwich and chips onto the plate. She sat down and took a bite of the sandwich and looked over at her dad who wasn't looking at her, but beyond her.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Maggie asked.

"Maybe later." He said.

"You're really mad at me aren't you?" She asked.

"I don't understand what's going on with you Maggie. Why are you so angry? Did I do something to make you feel this way? Did somebody else do something to you?" He asked.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't care. Like right now, I don't care, so you need to just leave me alone." She demanded.

"I'm your father Maggie and I'm never going to just leave you alone. I've had enough of your attitude and your mouth. When you're done eating, I want you to take a shower, apologize to Kate and get ready for bed." Jack said.

"I didn't do anything to Kate." She said.

"Yes, you did. You were hateful and disrespectful and just for the record, I don't pay Kate to live here." He told her, doing his best to stay calm but finding it next to impossible to mask the anger and extreme disappointment he was feeling.

"Nannies aren't free dad, everybody knows that." Maggie replied sarcastically and rolled her eyes at him.

"She's not your nanny Maggie and I'm not paying her. She volunteered to help out with you because she thought it might be easier for you and because she wants to get to know you." Jack explained.

"Maybe I don't want to get to know her." Maggie said.

"Whether or not you choose to try to be friends with Kate is entirely up to you Maggie, but this behavior is unacceptable regardless of what kind of relationship you have with her, or me or your teammates so for the next week there will no television, no laptop and no I-Pod and I want you in bed by 8 PM every night." Jack said.

"That's too early dad!" Maggie protested her eyes filling with tears.

"No it's not. If you're going to behave like a three year old, you're going to be treated like one. I'll see if Kate will take you by the library tomorrow. You'll need something to pass the time and you can read as many books as you want." Jack said.

"I hate you! All you do is yell at me and punish me! It's not fucking fair!" Maggie screamed at him.

The urge to slap her mouth was almost more than he could control, but he did control the urge and instead he dragged her kicking and screaming into the bathroom, held her arms and hands with one of his arms, while he used the other to insert a fresh bar of soap into her mouth, holding it there and not allowing her to spit it out.

"You want to keep mouthing off and using that foul language? Fine, but just remember little girl that every time you do you're going to get fed a bar of soap and we'll do this every day Maggie if that's what it takes to get it through your head that I will not tolerate any more of it." Jack explained sternly, but calmly as she fought the soap, tears streaming down her face, as angry as he'd ever known her to be.

After about five minutes he pulled the soap out of her mouth and let go of her. She ran to the sink and began spitting trying to get the taste out of her mouth.

"Rinse your mouth, take a shower and get ready for bed." He told her and walked out of the bathroom.

They lay side by side on the couch, him behind her and her snuggled into him with his entire body wrapped around her like cocoon. He was watching the news and she was watching the lights on the Christmas tree. They hadn't spoken much since the scene with Maggie, both of them upset, but not with each other. Kate finally rolled over and kissed him softly.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, you?" He asked.

"I'll admit she hurt my feelings, but she's 12 and I'm an adult so I'm fine." Kate said.

"You handled it very well, better than I did." He sighed.

"Jack, she deserved it. How many chances were you supposed to give her and that mouth? It's a little soap. It leaves a bad taste for a bit, but other than a good lesson learned, there's no long lasting effects, right." Kate said.

"Yeah, I guess. Kate are you sure you want to take this on? I'll understand if you want to bail on me." Jack said.

"No Jack, I'm not going to bail on you or her. Go to work tomorrow and don't worry and I promise I'll call if the urge to drown her in the ocean becomes too strong." Kate teased making him laugh lightly.

"What's wrong with her Kate? She's so angry and defiant and I don't understand why." Jack said.

"Maybe we just need to keep loving her and reassuring her and she'll settle down." Kate offered.

"You don't have to love her Kate. Why would you? She's been anything but loveable." Jack said.

"I think all children deserved to be loved Jack. Christmas in just seven days away. Let's try to make it as happy as possible for her." She said.

"Why the sudden change Kate? You were so full of doubt yesterday and today you're ready to take on the world." Jack said.

"Because you told me to trust you and I do and because you trust me to keep your most precious possession safe and you didn't even have to think about it." Kate said.

"I love you. Have I told you that today?" He asked.

"Mmm, yeah I think you mentioned that several times while we were making love today, but I never get sick of hearing it. You're still my best friend and my prince. You know that right." Kate said.

"Ditto on the best friend thing. We could go to bed and I could show you how much I love you." He said and kissed her.

Kate was about to respond when she felt the light touch on the back of her shoulder. She turned her head and looked up. Maggie was standing beside the couch.

"Kate, I'm sorry I was hateful and that I called you a B….(makes eye contact with her dad)….um, the b-word." Maggie said.

"Apology accepted and I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time." Kate said.

"Daddy, I'm so hungry. Can I please have something to eat? I'll make it myself and clean up my mess." Maggie asked sadly, having him at daddy and wanting more than anything to just scoop her up and make everything okay for her.

"Yes, come on I'll make you something." Jack said as he and Kate both sat up.

"You have to get up early dad. I can do it myself, unless Kate wants to help." Maggie said.

Jack looked at Kate and she nodded at him.

"Go ahead, I'll be in as soon as she's back in bed." Kate said.

"Good night daddy." Maggie said, kissing him on the cheek and hugging him.

He felt her arms wrap tighter around his neck and placed his hand over her back, feeling the hitching and that she was breaking down and pulled her into his arms and held onto her, rocking her back and forth, her head on his shoulder and sobbing. He looked up at Kate with sad, tear-filled eyes and it was almost more than she could bear, the urge to sit down and cry with them almost too strong to fight.


	35. Chapter 35

Three days and nights had passed since the soap in the mouth incident and the punishment had not had to be repeated. Jack had gone back to work in a big way, leaving the house by 7 AM and dragging in after 11 PM. He'd stay awake long enough to get a detailed breakdown of Kate and Maggie's day and then he'd apologize, promise that the long hours were temporary and then he'd be asleep within minutes. Kate didn't really mind because she'd actually been enjoying the time she'd been spending with Maggie, the child's pleasant moments something she could get used to and enjoy and the not so pleasant moments something that so far she'd been able to deal with. She did however miss Jack both emotionally and physically and hadn't seen him at all the night before so when she felt him crawl into bed and was sure he was asleep she set the alarm to go off an hour earlier than normal.

He heard the annoying buzzing but couldn't muster the energy to reach over and turn it off. He felt her nude body move over his as she reached to shut the noise off and even in his half-conscious state felt all the familiar needs and desires awakening. She allowed her warm, naked body to linger over his for a moment and smiled when she felt his hand gently caress her back and butt. She kissed his mouth and then his neck and then moved down, kissing his chest and then disappearing under the sheets and nuzzling her face in the hair on his stomach, allowing him to feel her breath down there, the part of him she was craving erect and reaching, her chin grazing the tip and making him moan softly.

She inched down further and began slowly gliding her tongue from base to tip, licking him like a melting ice cream cone, feeling him grow harder with every lick. He reached for the lamp beside the bed and turned it on, feeling her glide her tongue over him once again and peek out from under the sheets at him. He smiled a sleepy, sexy smile at her, watched her take hold of his length and closed his eyes as her mouth closed over the head, knowing he wasn't going to last more than a minute if he allowed her to continue, but enjoyed the next 45 seconds immensely.

"Kate." He said softly and moved his hands through her hair, his signal that he was going come if she didn't stop.

As much as she wanted to make it all about him, she needed to connect with him physically, so she pulled her mouth away and moved up, straddling him and slowly connecting with him, simultaneous moans of pleasure echoing through the bedroom. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her passionately and then rolling her onto her back and pushing into her as deep as he could, holding his position for a moment while kissing her some more and then moving, slowly at first, each thrust deep and purposeful. They sloppily kissed one another as they picked up the pace, beginning to pant and groan as the hunger intensified, him grinding into her in an almost desperate fashion, driving her hips into the mattress and her eagerly matching his moves, both on the verge of a blissful explosion.

She went over the edge and he immediately followed, allowing his face to drop into the pillow beside her head as soon as he was finished, staying there for a few minutes and enjoying the feeling of her hands caressing his back in a slow, soothing fashion. He finally lifted his head, kissed her softly and smiled at her.

"Good morning." He said and moved off of her, rolling onto his back and wondering if he actually sighed out loud when she snuggled up next to him.

"Mmm….it's certainly starting out in a good way." She said and kissed his chest.

"It is. I wish I didn't have to get out of bed." He said and yawned.

"You don't. I set the alarm to go off an hour earlier after you went to sleep. Sorry, but I miss you and thought it was the best way to get you to myself for an hour." She said.

"Don't be sorry, that was worth losing an hour of sleep and I promise to be home tonight in time to take my two favorite women out to dinner." He said.

"Just call me later and let me know when you plan on being home and your two favorite women will have dinner waiting for you." She said.

"You don't have to do that Kate." He said.

"I know, but I want to. Maggie and I had planned on going grocery shopping today. I think she'll enjoy picking out something to cook for her dad." Kate said.

"Just steer her away from the arsenic." Jack chuckled.

"Stop, she's not mad at you and so far she's handled the punishment really well, but I've been keeping her too busy to notice she's bored. She fell down and scraped up her arm pretty bad yesterday and was a little weepy for you last night so I told her you'd wake her up before you left for work today." Kate said.

Jack scooted her away from him and sat up a little, positioning himself over her and kissing her passionately. He peeked at the clock and then diverted his attention back to her.

"I have plenty of time. Feel like making love again?" He asked.

"Of course I do, but do you?" She asked.

"Actually, yes. Apparently, I recharge quicker when I don't have a beautiful, sexy brunette wearing me out 12 to 15 times a day." He teased and winked at her.

"Oh really, well since you made me go three whole days without, you've got a lot of catching up to do bud." She teased back.

"How about if I just make this one good enough to keep a smile on your face the rest of the day." He said in a sexy tone and kissed her.

"You always make me smile Jack." She told him, her eyes sincere and full of love and all of it just for him.

He entered Maggie's bedroom dressed in slacks, a dress shirt and tie. She was awake and smiled when he entered the room. He sat on the side of the bed, leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.

"I hear you banged up your arm. Want me to take a look at it?" Jack asked, noticing the large white bandage that went from her elbow almost to her wrist.

"I'm so stupid dad. I guess I missed a step." She said.

"You fell down some stairs?" Jack asked in a concerned tone.

"Just the ones out front, but it scraped my arm up pretty bad. Kate cleaned it with the bubbly stuff in the brown bottle." Maggie told him.

"You mean Peroxide?" Jack chuckled.

"Yeah that and she put Neosporin on it. It's kind of sore today so maybe you should check it before you go to work." She said.

He recognized she wanted his attention more than she needed her bandage changed, but played along because he kind of needed the moment too and because the person he was currently dealing with was his daughter and not the demon child his daughter had become.

"Okay, we'll go out to the kitchen and I'll take a look at it and put a fresh bandage on it. I'll be home for dinner tonight and since I've been getting mostly positive reports about you from Kate, you don't have to go to bed early." He told her.

Maggie studied Jack and wondered why Kate hadn't told him that she fell down the stairs while she was tormenting and running away from Kate, but decided she wasn't going to tell him if Kate wasn't going to.

Jack put the finishing touches on the fresh bandage he'd just applied to Maggie's arm and smiled at her.

"I have to go to work now. Can I have a kiss?" He asked.

She kissed him on cheek and gave him a hug and he lifted her off of the counter, setting her down gently and turning to face Kate.

"There's a Christmas party tomorrow night. It's a yearly thing, kind of a big deal and kind of required that I be there, but it's also a family thing if you happen to have a family. Do you think the two of you would be interested in shopping for a couple of pretty dresses and coming with me?" He asked and she could tell how hopeful he was.

"Of course we would, wouldn't we Maggie?" Kate said and looked at the child.

"A dress dad? Really?" Maggie objected.

"Humor me Maggie." Jack said.

"Can I get a new pair of sneakers for basketball?" She bargained.

"Do you need a new pair of sneakers?" He asked.

"No, I just want them." She answered, the brutal honesty making him laugh lightly.

"If Kate doesn't mind taking you to buy them I don't care, but I expect to see a dress, a real dress, not some long t-shirt looking thing. Deal?" Jack asked.

"Deal." Maggie agreed.

"Okay, great. See you tonight." Jack said, kissing his daughter once more before laying a long, wet, lingering kiss on Kate, the two of them so obviously in love that even the 12 year old could see it.

"You guys are really gross." Maggie grumbled, making them both laugh lightly and break the kiss.

Kate and Maggie sat at the dining room table in front of rows of Christmas shaped cookies and a few bowls of colored icing. The cookie Maggie was holding in her hand slipped and landed frosting side down in her lap.

"Dammit! Oops, I mean, please don't tell on me." Maggie pleaded.

"It's okay, let me help you get that cleaned up." Kate said and left the table.

Kate cleaned the frosting off of her pants and handed her fresh cookie. Maggie dropped the cookie on the table and put her hands in her lap.

"I think my arm is too tired from the big scrape." Maggie sighed.

"That's fine honey, I can finish them." Kate offered.

"Kate, how come you didn't tell my dad what I was doing when I hurt myself yesterday?" Maggie asked.

"Because I don't tell him everything Maggie, especially if I don't think it really matters that much. You and I aren't always going to see eye to eye, but he doesn't need to know about every little disagreement, just the really big ones." Kate said.

"I would tell on you if you were mean to me." Maggie told her.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I would never intentionally be mean to you." Kate said.

"Kate, do you have sex with my dad?" Maggie asked again and Kate decided she wasn't going to avoid the question this time.

"Why are you so curious about that sweetheart?" Kate asked.

"I don't know." Maggie mumbled something obviously on her mind.

"Your dad and I have sex Maggie. We love each other very much and having sex or making love is one of the ways that two people express their love for each other." Kate explained.

"Sometimes people just screw Kate. I guess it feels good so they just do it, but they don't love each other. That's how I got here." Maggie told her, shocking her a bit.

"Maggie, I know that screw is a slang term for sex, but it doesn't sound very nice. It sounds like a cold, unfeeling act and I don't think that's what happened the night you were conceived. Have you ever talked to your mom and dad about the night you were conceived?" Kate asked.

"If I tell you something will you promise not to tell my dad?" Maggie asked.

"Maggie, I can't promise, but if I feel like its something he doesn't need to know then I'll keep it between us." Kate said.

"I heard my mom and Bill fighting about me." Maggie said quietly, sadly.

"What did they say?" Kate asked.

"Bill said I was here because she got drunk and let some asshole screw her and that he was sick of putting up with her 12 year old mistake." Maggie said as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Kate wiped the tear away and smiled at her.

"Sweetheart your dad loves you so much and I don't know your mom, but your dad has told me how much she loves you. He told me about the night he met your mom and yes they had sex just because it felt good, not because they were also in love, but when they found out they made you they were happy and they both wanted you more than anything." Kate told her.

"But my mom must've told Bill she thinks I'm a mistake and that my dad was just some asshole that screwed her. Why else would he say that Kate?" Maggie asked, a couple of more tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I don't know the answer to that Maggie, but I do know that you mean everything to your dad." Kate said.

"It's not the same." Maggie sighed.

"What's not the same?" Kate asked.

"It doesn't matter." Maggie mumbled.

"I think whatever it is does matter to you an awful lot. What's not the same Maggie?" Kate asked.

"If my dad made a baby he loved instead of a mistake it would be different." Maggie said.

"What would be different?" Kate asked.

"He wouldn't just have to send money to pay for his mistake and maybe he would want me." Maggie said as a steady stream of tears rolled down her face.

"Oh honey that's just not true. Who told you that?" Kate asked.

"Bill. He told me to stop bothering my dad because he didn't want me to live with him, that I was just a mistake he had to pay for and nothing else and that was why I never see him that much. I don't want to believe it Kate, but I think it's true and I don't think he really wants me now, he's just still paying for his mistake." Maggie cried.

Kate moved out of her chair, kneeled down beside Maggie's chair, hugged her and wiped the tears from her face. She then stood, took Maggie by the hand and led her into the bathroom. She ran cold water over a wash cloth and applied it to Maggie's face, wiping the rest of the tears away and letting the cool cloth soothe her red, swollen eyes before leading her into her bedroom and encouraging her to lie down. Kate sat on the side of the bed and waited until the child was calm again before speaking.

"Maggie, why would you think your dad doesn't want you?" Kate asked.

"Because he wouldn't let me come live with him." Maggie said.

"Sweetheart, he was just trying to do what was best for you and he didn't want to hurt your mother." Kate explained.

"There are no pictures of me anywhere Kate. Don't parents usually have at least one picture of their kid? There's none here and none in his office. Do you think Bill is right? Do you think my dad wishes I wasn't ever born?" Maggie asked.

"I think the happiest day of your father's life was the day you were born Maggie and he keeps a picture of you in his wallet and maybe that's the best way for him to always keep you close." Kate told her.

"So I'm just being dumb?" Maggie asked.

"No, you're not being dumb. You're very confused because an adult said some very careless and mean things to you that simply are not true. Maggie, I understand what you're going through. You think I don't, but I do because when I was a little younger than you my father who had always been around just left me behind and I never saw him again. He and my mom made me on purpose, but then one day they just stopped caring. Honey, how much parents love and want their children is all about what kind of people they are, not whether or not they were in love when they made the baby?" Kate explained.

"Did you love your dad?" Maggie asked.

"I did, very much." Kate said.

Maggie sat up and hugged Kate tightly.

"I would go crazy if I never saw my dad again. I'm sorry that happened to you." Maggie whispered, the genuine caring coming from the child putting a large lump in her throat.

Kate convinced Maggie to lie back down and reapplied the cool cloth.

"Maggie is this why you've been so angry with your father and behaving so badly?" Kate asked.

"No, I mean, I'm not mad at him. I've been really scared my daddy doesn't want me, but I don't know why I get so mad. Sometimes I just feel like I don't care and things just come out, like yesterday when I called you a bad name and ran outside. I'm sorry Kate and I'm glad you didn't tell my dad. That soap tastes really awful." Maggie admitted making Kate smile.

She could be so genuinely sweet and honest in these moments and it made her heart ache to realize how much emotional turmoil her young mind was experiencing and how awful things must've been for her listening to some large, scary man tell her that her father never wanted her. She continued to sit with the child until she believed she'd fallen asleep and moved off the bed.

"Kate, I don't feel very good. Will you lay down with me?" Maggie asked.

Kate lay down beside the child and Maggie studied her for a moment, lightly touching Kate's curls with her fingers and pulling them back.

"You're very pretty Kate. Can you make my hair pretty like yours for the party tomorrow night so I can look nice for my dad?" She asked.

"Sure." Kate said, smiling at her and rubbing a gentle hand over the child's hair.

Kate lay with her, watching her eyes slowly open and close and finally close for good. She grabbed the blanket that was folded at the foot of the bed, threw it over both of them and closed her eyes as well, her early morning with Jack leaving her more than happy to join the child in a short nap.


	36. Chapter 36

She hadn't wanted to hit him with it the moment he came through the door, but she believed it was that important. He had to know the things Maggie had shared with her and it couldn't wait. He went from an anger that came close to rage to sadness and a hint of regret in a span of about five minutes and finally put his hands over his face and let his head fall back onto the back of the couch.

"I wonder why Stacy never told me how she really felt about what happened between us. Do you think she believes I forced her to have and keep the baby?" Jack mumbled.

"I think Stacy is sick Jack and that she hasn't always felt that way." Kate said.

"Those kinds of feelings don't just manifest as part of an illness. They had to be there all along." Jack argued.

"Jack why do you care how Stacy does or doesn't feel about you?" Kate asked.

"I guess I don't, but if she really felt that way why not just say so? I would've taken Maggie." Jack said.

"Probably because she wanted that baby as much as you did, but when things got difficult it was easier to justify blaming and being angry with you then projecting that onto an innocent child." Kate said.

"So then I haven't been wrong all these years?" Jack asked, unable to mask the guilt he was feeling.

"Wrong about what?" Kate asked.

"About Stacy and what kind of mother she was." Jack said.

"I've never met the woman Jack, but I have met Mike and I saw how much he loves Maggie so I'm guessing he would've let you know if there were any reason to be concerned." Kate offered.

"I don't know what to think anymore Kate. I have all these horrible ideas about what Bill may or may not have done to my daughter floating around in my head and the fact that Maggie is behaving like a child that has been traumatized in some manner doesn't help ease my concerns. I think I'm going to ask around, find someone that is really good with kids and schedule her an appointment sometime after Christmas." Jack said.

Maggie could feel the gentle hand on her shoulder, recognizing it and opening her eyes for a moment before rolling onto her side and closing her eyes again.

"Hey sleepy-head, its dinner time." Jack said and shook her again.

She lay still for a moment before opening her eyes and rolling onto her back again. She smiled at him and sat up. He felt her forehead and her face and returned the smile.

"Kate said you weren't feeling well. No fever. Are you feeling better?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm just really hungry. Did you see the cookies we made?" She asked.

"See them? I ate them. They were good." He told her.

"You ate all of them?" She gasped.

"No, I saved one for you." He teased.

"Daddy, that's a lot of cookies." She giggled.

"I only ate two of them. Come on, Kate says dinner is ready and it won't be good cold." Jack said and walked her out of the bedroom.

He watched her struggle with her knife and fork and finally spoke up.

"What's going on Maggs?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, my hand feels funny." Maggie said.

"What do you mean funny?" Jack asked.

"Kind of tingly and like it's too tired to do anything." Maggie said.

"Did it feel funny before you fell on your arm yesterday?" Jack asked.

"I don't know." Maggie said.

"Come here." Jack said.

"Dad, I'm hungry." Maggie protested.

"Go ahead honey and I'll cut that up for you." Kate offered.

Maggie sighed heavily, rolled her eyes and walked over to where her father was seated. He took hold of her arm and began squeezing gently, stopping when she indicated he hit a tender spot and pulled her arm away from him.

"Sorry. Did you fall directly on your elbow baby?" He asked, noticing that she was becoming agitated and doing his best to use his daddy tone instead of his doctor tone.

"I guess. Dad it's fine." She grumbled.

"It's not fine, it's bruised and swollen and affecting a very important nerve in that area and that's why your hand feels funny. If it doesn't feel better in a couple of days we're getting it x-rayed." Jack told her and decided to leave her alone, not wanting to spend his first evening home in 4 days battling with her.

After dinner Jack led Maggie into his bedroom and she stopped suddenly and pulled away from him.

"Am I in trouble?" Maggie asked.

"No, why would you think you're in trouble?" Jack asked.

"Because parents take their kids into other rooms when they want to punish them." Maggie said.

"Yeah, well I'm not picky about where I dole out punishment. Is there some reason you think you'd be getting punished?" He asked.

"Maybe, but she said she wasn't going to tell you." Maggie said.

"Tell me what?" Jack asked remaining calm and feeling somewhat amused that she was ratting herself out.

"Do I have to tell you?" She asked.

"Yeah, I think you do now that you've more or less admitted you did something you think I wouldn't be too happy about." Jack said.

"I got mad at Kate and called her a really bad name. She told me I had to go to my room and stay for 30 minutes, but I ran out the front door instead. I apologized to her today dad and she said you didn't need to know about all of our disagreements just the really big ones and I agree with her." Maggie stated her case, the last part forcing him to bite back the grin that wanted to spread across his face.

"So you fell down and hurt your arm because you were acting up and running away from Kate?" Jack asked still attempting to hide his amusement.

"Yeah." Maggie sighed heavily expecting to be sent to bed or have something else taken away from her.

"Okay." He said.

"Really, that's all? You're not going to punish me?" She asked.

"No, if Kate didn't think I needed to know about it then I'm okay with letting her handle it however she handled it. Besides, I think the whole falling down and hurting yourself might've been some kind of cosmic punishment." He said and finally chuckled unable to hold it back any longer.

"So what are we doing?" She asked, not as amused as he was.

"I want to show you something." He said and disappeared into his closet.

He exited the closet with a stack of DVDs and they walked back out into the living room and set them on the coffee table.

"What are these?" Maggie asked.

"These are you. I never get to celebrate your birthday with you Maggie, well except for the day you were born, so every year on your birthday I gather all the pictures I've taken over the past year and the ones you and your mom have sent me and I arrange them the way I want them and put them on a DVD. The first few years I'd take them somewhere and have them set to music on a DVD, but I do it all myself now." Jack told her.

"These are all of me?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, one for each year of your life. I miss you when I'm not with you and having pictures of you sitting around to remind me every day that I couldn't hug you or talk to you or just watch you sleep isn't really how I deal with things like that so I made these instead." Jack told her, his eyes soft and watery.

"Do you watch them?" She asked.

"I watch them on your birthday and on Christmas day, but I guess I'm going to have the real thing with me for Christmas this year." Jack said growing concerned when the child's eyes filled with tears.

"You spent Christmas by yourself watching DVDs of me? Daddy that's so sad." Maggie said and hugged him.

"No, it wasn't sad and I was never sad. Watching these always made me smile and laugh and then you'd call me and tell me everything you got for Christmas and I always knew you were happy so I was happy too. Don't cry baby. I just need you to believe that I have always loved you and wanted you and I'm so sorry that someone tried to make you believe that I didn't. I know I haven't been the greatest dad and that we never saw each other enough, but there was never one single day that I wasn't thinking about you." Jack told her.

"I think you're the best dad in the world. I'm really sorry I've been such a pain daddy." She told him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I know you are and I'm really sorry that the grown-ups in your life have been upsetting you so much that maybe you can't control all the anger that builds up. You'd tell daddy if somebody hurt you wouldn't you Maggie?" He asked gently and carefully.

"Uh huh, can we watch these dad?" She asked, leaving him unable to read her or determine if she was suppressing something.

"Sure, which year would you like to watch. Age six is pretty cute because you're were missing quite a few teeth at different intervals that year." He teased.

"That's not funny dad. I looked like a jack-o-lantern. Let's watch the one when I'm a little baby. I like it when you tell me story about the night I was born." She said.

Kate stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room and watched the two of them, smiling and believing that Jack must've made the most of whatever time he did get to spend with his daughter because they had that very special daddy/daughter bond that all fathers and daughters should have and you don't form a bond like that with your child without some genuine heartfelt effort. She could feel her heart swell as they watched the pictures flash across the screen and he could tell Maggie exactly how many weeks or months old she was in each picture, the allegedly absentee father obviously only absent in body, his heart and soul connected to his little girl in all the ways they should be as far as she was concerned. She heard him begin to describe the events of the night she was born, smiled and turned away, deciding to tackle the dirty kitchen and allow such an intimate moment to be kept just between the two of them because she believed it was important for Maggie to have that type of quality one on one time with Jack.

She exited the bathroom, her skin still warm and pink from the hot bath, the loose fitting flannel pajama pants with the alien looking little green frogs all over them, complimented by a loose fitting t-shirt oddly attractive to him. He stopped trying to understand why seeing her dressed that way made him feel warm and protective and want to snuggle up with her and eventually make sweet, slow passionate love to her, content to be glad that just seeing Kate could trigger deep, stirring emotions that had nothing to do with lust and everything to do with loving someone with all your heart. He held up the wine bottle and two wine glasses and smiled at her.

"Did you come in here to get me drunk so you could take advantage of me?" She asked.

"No." He answered.

"That's too bad, because I would've let you." She said and winked at him.

"It's a beautiful night and Maggie is asleep. I thought we could grab a blanket, sit on the deck, drink wine and watch the stars or talk or make out or all of the above." He offered, with a shy, sexy grin.

"All of the above sounds nice." She said, kissing him quickly, grabbing the wine bottle from his hand and grabbing a handful of his jeans covered ass with the other.

They sat under the blanket on the double chaise lounge, sipping wine and enjoying the clear, crisp night air. He took the last sip of the wine in his glass and leaned over her, kissing her softly, being sweet, tender and romantic. She held to the back of his neck, not quite ready for him to pull back yet and they deepened the kiss, keeping it slow and sensual and finally breaking for air, their foreheads touching and him gently tracing her jaw line with his thumb.

"You're so beautiful Kate. I don't tell you that enough." He said.

"Somebody is certainly in a sweet, gushy mood tonight and I like it a lot." She told him and kissed him again.

"I have a present for you. It was supposed to be for Christmas, but I thought you might want to wear them to the party tomorrow night." He said, reaching under the chaise lounge, retrieving a square box and handing it to her.

She opened the lid and gasped, the diamond pendant necklace and matching diamond earrings easily the most beautiful pieces of jewelry anyone had ever given her.

"Jack, they're beautiful, but it's too much. I don't deserve this and I didn't get you anything this great." She said and tried to hand it back to him.

"You do deserve it so put them on for me before you hurt my feelings and force me to polish off this bottle of wine and try to drown myself in the ocean." He teased and kissed the tip of her nose.

"If that means I get to see you naked and give you a bath, I might have to let you do that." She said, both of them laughing lightly as they recalled their disastrous first date.

She put the earrings in and let him help her with the necklace. He gazed at her for a moment and kissed her again.

"So what do you think? Will they look good with my dress?" She asked.

"Not quite. There's still one thing missing." He said and pulled a small box out of his pocket, popping the lid to reveal the diamond ring inside, smiling and feeling confident when he saw her eyes fill with tears of what he hoped were happiness.

"Will you marry me?" He asked.


	37. Chapter 37

She didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity, his confidence waning with each grueling second of silence, wondering if it was too much too soon or if his situation with his daughter was too much for her to consider being his wife and making that situation a way of life with no exit door. He saw a single tear roll down her cheek, and then her head slowly begin to nod, the shock beginning to wear off and her brain slowly regaining the ability to make words again.

"Me? Really?" She finally squeaked making him let go of a lengthy breath.

He wasn't aware he'd actually been holding his breath until her seeming to possibly be accepting his proposal made him breathe a sigh of relief. He'd hoped she'd be surprised, but he had no idea she'd be shocked speechless. Did she really not consider that this was coming?

"Yes, you really. (Kisses her) Do you not believe yet that you are the only woman for me?" He asked sweetly.

"I do believe you love me Jack, I just didn't want to let myself be this hopeful." She admitted as more tears slipped down her face.

"Does that mean you'll marry me?" He asked.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry, I'm just so…….this is……" She stammered and finally threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

He hugged her back and they kissed and he held her awhile longer before finally putting enough distance between them to slide the ring onto her finger.

"I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. I love you so much." He told her, holding both of her hands in his and kissing them softly.

She pulled her hands away and slowly snaked them around his neck, pulling him down, engaging in a deep, slow, passionate kiss, feeling her body trapped beneath the warmth and strength of his and certain that there were few things in life that could make her feel so content. She wanted him and she wanted him now, no foreplay, no naughty verbal games, just him inside of her loving her like only he could.

She continued to kiss him while her hands began unfastening and unzipping his jeans. He considered objecting, the night air too cool for naked bodies, but the moment too sweet and perfect to disturb it so he kept the blanket over them and let her continue, feeling her soft fingers reach inside the opening she'd created and fondle him, gripping him firmly and moaning into his mouth. He intensified the kiss while he pushed his jeans down enough to release all of him into her greedy hands, feeling the pad of her thumb gently rubbing over his tip and rolling onto his back, bringing her with him, her hands still working him over as she straddled him and slowed their kissing back down, opening her mouth wide and welcoming his warm, soft tongue as it slowly danced with hers.

They let go of sighs and moans as they continued on, his hands pushing the alien frog pants out of his way and her working with him to get at least one leg free, him gently probing her with his fingertips making the need to connect with him unbearable. He pushed one finger inside her very slowly and she gasped and fell forward onto him, quivering from head to toe and the leg finally free.

"Shhh, it's okay." He whispered and helped her get situated over him, watching her face scrunch up with pleasure as she slowly impaled herself on him.

He made sure the blanket was situated securely over her shoulders and back and took hold of her hips, guiding her into the perfect rhythm, watching her slide up and down over him and certain he was growing harder and harder every time she let him slowly glide back up inside of her, her hands on his chest, eyes closed and head thrown back. She began to pant and whimper and there it was, the face and the sounds of the woman he loved experiencing what apparently felt so good she couldn't speak, move or breathe.

She rode it out and fell forward onto his chest, feeling his hands move slowly from her hips to her butt, gently cupping both ass cheeks and thrusting upward, slowly making love to her as his hands moved up her back and then back down, his hands every bit as skilled in intimate moments as they were in a surgical suite and she relaxed into his chest, feeling his warmth and his love and then another release hit, making her cry out, both of them stilling as he let go, wrapping both arms around her tightly and holding her close.

She could feel their connection, feel him softening some and could feel his release beginning to seep out of her. She didn't want to move and he didn't seem to be in any hurry for her to move so they lay together, connected at the center, her head on his shoulder and his hands gently massaging her back under the blanket. He felt her shudder slightly and kissed the top of her head.

"We should go inside, you're shivering." He said.

"I'm not cold." She said, lifting her head and kissing him softly.

"Then why are you shivering?" He asked.

"Because I have the most incredible man in the world trapped inside of me and because I've never been as happy as I am right now in my entire life." She told him.

She'd rendered him speechless. He was flattered and not sure he was worthy and unable to come up with what he deemed a suitable response. She was tickled at how she'd managed to put such an adorable _'aw shucks'_ look on his face simply by letting him know the truth about how he makes her feel and she kissed him again and let it linger for a bit before pulling back to look at him again.

"I love you." He said sweetly and with all his heart.

"I love you more." She replied, making him smile.

"That's not possible." He said.

"We should wait to tell Maggie." Kate said.

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Because I don't want to upset her anymore than she already is." Kate said.

"I get that Kate and I appreciate that she's your first consideration, but she's going to react how she's going to react whether we tell her tomorrow or two weeks from now. I'll go into work late and take her out for breakfast and talk to her. I'll leave out the part where I told you that I'm definitely the guy that would love to have a baby with you." He said.

"You never told me that." She giggled.

"I just did." He said rolling her onto her back and slipping out of her, chuckling at the instant pretend pout she shot at him.

"God you're cute." He sighed happily and kissed her again.

Jack sat across from Maggie in a booth in the pancake house. She was a little moody and he considered not telling her, but decided it was better he do it than have her notice the ring on Kate's finger and pounce. He watched her pick at her food, the lethargy he'd attributed to her not being quite awake still lingering.

"Are you okay sweetheart? You're looking a little pale." Jack asked.

"I think I might throw up dad." She groaned and ran for the bathroom

He followed behind her, not caring that he was inside the ladies room. He held onto her so she wouldn't have to touch the public toilet and held her hair out of her face, watching her lose the contents of her stomach and then some. Every time he thought she was finished she'd start crying and begin heaving again, struggling and gagging and bringing up nothing.

"Make it stop daddy." She cried.

"Shh, it's going to be okay." He spoke softly, kissing the side of her head and continuing to hold onto her.

The routine continued on for another couple of minutes and she finally relaxed in his arms. He pulled her away from the toilet and carried her out of the stall, the woman in the bathroom that had been witnessing all of it handing him a wet paper towel and him thanking her. He set her down and wiped her mouth and nose. Her color was returning along with her awareness.

"That was really gross." She groaned.

"Maggs, I'm really starting to worry about you. How about you come to the office with me and I get you checked out." He suggested.

"No, it's my fault dad. I ate a bunch of those tomato things Kate made and too much tomato always makes me sick you know that." She admitted.

"They why'd you eat so many of them?" He asked and tweaked her nose, feeling a lot less worried the more she talked and seemed perfectly fine.

"They were so good with all that cheese and bacon all mixed in with those biscuits, but maybe we should ask Kate not to make them anymore." She said and held her stomach, making him laugh lightly.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay now?" He asked.

"Yes, but if it's okay with you, I'd rather skip breakfast." She said.

"Yeah, I'm not really hungry either. I guess we can talk in the car." He said and took hold of her hand.

He pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street that would eventually lead them to the condo. Maggie was flipping through the radio stations and he finally reached up and turned it off.

"We need to talk." He said.

"Am I in trouble?" She asked.

"No, you're not in trouble. You know that Kate is very important to me and that I love her very much right?" He asked.

"Yes and that's why you guys have sex, because you love each other and not just because it feels good." Maggie answered.

"What?" He asked in a somewhat exasperated tone.

"Sorry, I meant that's why you guys make love. Kate says it's a way for people to express their love for each other. Why are you asking me about this dad?" Maggie asked.

Jack had to laugh at himself and how uncomfortable he suddenly felt, but managed to pull himself back together and regroup his thoughts.

"I asked Kate to marry me last night and she said yes." Jack told her.

Maggie looked at him for a moment and then turned her head toward the window, staring out at the passing traffic and not saying anything. He finally pulled the car into a nearby parking lot and put it into park.

"Maggie look at me." He said.

"No." She refused.

"Baby, please. If you don't talk to me I can't help you." He said, knowing that she was crying and needing to understand what was going through her young mind.

She turned to face him, her eyes full of giant alligator tears and while he was prepared for an angry response he wasn't prepared for this.

"What's going on Maggie? Why so sad?" He asked.

"There's too many people dad. I'm going to be the only kid in the 6th grade with 3 dads and 2 moms. It's too hard to know how to feel about everybody. Why can't I just be a normal kid with a normal family?" She choked out through her tears.

"Okay, first of all you have one mother and one father and that's never going to change. Mike and Bill are just Mike and Bill and Kate is just Kate. You don't have to love any of us Maggie or you can love all of us. The only thing that matters is that your mom and I love you." Jack said.

"It's gonna be just like it was with mom." She cried.

"What is honey?" He asked.

"I think I'm going to be sick again." She said and grabbed her stomach as she tried desperately to get out of the car.

He stepped out of the car and went to be with her. She wasn't sick, she was upset, holding her stomach and crying hard. He sat down in the passenger seat with his legs outside of the car and pulled her into his lap, holding her close and letting her cry for awhile before he attempted to pry anything more out of her.

"Baby, talk to me. You can tell me anything and I promise I won't be mad." He said.

"You're not going to come see me anymore are you dad?" She asked.

"Why would you think that Maggie?" He asked.

"Mom married Bill and they had a baby together, a baby they wanted and she didn't like me anymore. All she says is Maggie I can't deal with you right now or Maggie I don't have time right now or Maggie the world doesn't revolve around you so you need to get used to it. I don't think the world revolves around me dad, I just miss having a mom that cares about me. She only cares about Bill and the baby and once you get a wife and probably a baby that you really want you won't come see me anymore. Daddy I'm sorry I've been so bad. I'm trying hard not to be." She spoke softly and sadly, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Maggie, I'll be honest with you and admit that I am puzzled by your mom's behavior and I believe you when you say you don't expect the world to revolve around you. She's sick honey and I don't know how long she's been sick or if it is even the depression that caused the problems you're describing, but I believe you when you say you feel like she stopped caring about you. I should've taken you more seriously when you first started calling me and begging me to let you come live with me. I screwed up Maggie and I'm sorry." He told her.

"It's not all mom's fault. I've been bad, you've seen it." She sighed.

"I have seen it, but Maggie it doesn't make me stop loving you or stop caring about you. I'm very worried about why you're having these outbursts and I'm going to do everything I can to make things better for you." Jack said.

"What if mom never gets better? Where am I going to live dad?" Maggie asked.

"With me." Jack answered.

"But what if you marry Kate and she doesn't want me to live with you guys?" Maggie asked.

"Do you really think Kate would feel that way Maggie? Hasn't she been nice to you?" Jack asked.

"Yes, but Bill was nice at first too." Maggie argued.

"Fair enough. Let me put it another way then. Do you trust me Maggie?" Jack asked.

"Yes." She answered.

"Then I need you to trust that I would never marry a woman that didn't want my daughter around. You know Kate didn't want me to tell you about us getting married. She said it would upset you and thought we should wait and give you more time to adjust. She isn't interested in taking me away from you Maggie. In fact, she's determined to make sure you never feel like she's replacing you in my heart." Jack told her.

Maggie was quiet for a moment, recalling the conversation she'd had with Kate the previous day about how her father had left her behind and even though her head was making her feel unsure, she knew in her heart that Kate would never do anything to hurt her.

"She's real nice dad. I'm sorry I wasn't happy for you." Maggie said.

"I'm sorry that your mom and I have made you feel so overwhelmed. Can you do me a really big favor Maggs?" He asked.

"What?" She asked.

"Focus on being 12 and being happy and let me worry about the big stuff and that includes your mom and her problems. I'm your dad and I'm going to take care of you and always love you no matter what. I promise." He asked.

"Okay daddy." She said.


	38. Chapter 38

She entered the bedroom in a strapless black dress. The front was pleated and a sparkling pin adorned the waist, the sash accentuating the waist of the tight fitted skirt. Her hair was up, a few pieces free and hanging down the sides of her head, allowing the beautiful earrings to be seen, but covering them just enough to keep them from being boldly on display, the diamond pendant set against her soft, tanned skin, sparkling and drawing more attention to her chest than maybe he'd be comfortable with in mixed company. He stopped fumbling with his tie, his mouth slightly open and his eyes fixated on the vision that was walking toward him.

"Close your mouth Jack." She teased and finished tying his tie for him.

"You look great Kate." He complimented her.

"Thank you, you look pretty great too." She said.

"When we get home I'm going to remove that dress with my teeth." He said in a sexy tone and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Hmm, maybe I should go put some panties on then. I like having my panties removed with your teeth." She teased, making him groan.

"That's very hot Kate, too hot." He objected and pulled her closer.

"You're jealous. That's cute." She giggled.

"Have you looked in the mirror Kate? Please go put some panties on." He said not overly serious, but serious enough to make her want to eat him up.

"God, you're adorable. I have panties on Jack. I'd offer to let you check that out for yourself, but that would only make us really late for the party, plus Maggie will be in here any minute now." Kate told him and kissed him.

"How is she? Did she give you any problems today?" Jack asked.

"She had a meltdown this afternoon. I made her take a nap and she apologized when she woke up. I added some curl to her hair and put just a little bit of make-up on her." Kate said glancing toward the doorway to see if Maggie was coming.

"How'd you get her to agree to hair and make-up?" Jack chuckled.

"It was her idea. She said she wanted to look extra nice for her dad so be sure to notice and make a big deal about it." Kate told him

He was visibly touched by both the idea that Maggie was shucking her tomboy ways for an evening to make him happy and by the fact that Kate put so much effort into helping her. He was just about to let Kate know just how touched when Maggie walked into the room. He took one look at her and had to swallow the big lump that immediately formed in his throat. She was beautiful, her long brown hair having just enough curl added to it to make it full and lay beautifully around her shoulders, the light make-up accentuating her features, especially her eyes that were sparkling as she looked up at him. The pretty age appropriate party dress with its long-sleeved black stretch velvet top and rich blue tiered skirt with a black silk edged lining and a large black satin bow at the dropped waist made her look less like daddy's little girl and more like the young lady that she was slowly, but surely maturing into. He bent over, placing his hands on his lower thighs and kissed her on the cheek.

"You look fabulous." He told her and she smiled at him.

"Look daddy, the black and blue in your tie matches our dresses. It took me and Kate forever to find the perfect tie for you." She boasted proudly.

"You did great sweetheart. I think when I walk in with the two most beautiful women in the world on my arms they're all going to be jealous." He said.

"Do you really think I'm beautiful?" She asked.

"Inside and out." He told her.

"I'm going to go get my camera so you can take a picture for mom." Maggie said excitedly and left the room.

Jack turned, looked at Kate, the look in his eyes telling her how overwhelmed with emotion he was. She smiled at him, placed a gentle hand on his cheek and kissed him softly.

"You're welcome." She said.

Maggie entered the room and Jack took several pictures of her, then Kate took pictures of Maggie and Jack together and then Jack requested a picture of Kate and Maggie together and to his surprise didn't get met with resistance. He snapped a couple of photos and Maggie demanded to see the camera so she could scan through all the pictures.

"I think mom is going to freak out when she sees me. I want to take a picture of you and Kate dad." Maggie demanded.

They posed arms around one another while Maggie blinded them with flash after flash until Jack had decided he'd had enough and suggest they put the camera away and get going. They entered the large home and Jack immediately noticed the way Kate was carrying herself compared to the way she'd carried herself when he escorted her to the charity event months ago. She was full of confidence and apparently no longer feeling as though she didn't belong in his world and he smiled as he watched her hold her own in conversations and laugh at the bad jokes of some of the older men who couldn't help but flirt with her. It seemed as though she finally believed she was the woman that he'd always seen and he was pleased that one of the women in his life seemed to be enjoying herself.

Maggie had been stuck to him like glue the entire evening, refusing to let go of his hand and growing crankier and almost infantile as the evening wore on. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink and wouldn't let go of Jack.

"Dad, this is so boring. Can we leave?" Maggie whined.

"It's boring because you won't join the rest of the kids and try to have a good time." Jack told her.

Kate rejoined them and a woman approached them. She was new to the hospital staff and Jack had met her briefly in passing once and he began to feel a bit embarrassed as he worked hard to remember what it was exactly that she did.

"It's good to see you again Jack." She said.

"Likewise." He said and shook her hand.

"Look at him, he doesn't have a clue who I am, but he's trying hard not to let it show. I'm Karen Allison, the new thoracic surgeon." She told him.

"I'm sorry. We should make time for lunch or something." Jack offered.

"It's a date. Is this your family?" She asked.

"Yes, of course, sorry again. This is Kate and Maggie." Jack introduced them.

The woman shook their hands and looked down at Maggie.

"My you certainly are a pretty little thing and it's amazing how much you look like your mom." The woman said and looked at Kate.

"Oh no, she's not...." Kate started to correct her.

"She's not my mom." Maggie snapped angrily.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed. I mean they look so much alike." The woman said, embarrassed and looking for a quick escape.

"No we don't! You're stupid!" Maggie shouted.

Jack bent down and made very stern eye contact with his daughter.

"One more word and tonight isn't going to end well for you." Jack warned and straightened back up.

"I'm sorry, she's going through a difficult time right now." Jack apologized, feeling very embarrassed.

"It's fine Jack. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding." The woman said and walked away.

Jack turned to look at Maggie, the look of pure defiance in her face and eyes telling him that she was headed for a meltdown and that he needed to make some quick excuses and leave, but then she looked away and down and shuffled her feet from side to side.

"I'm sorry dad." She said softly.

"Maggie this is getting to the point where 'I'm sorry' just isn't going to cut it any longer. You were rude and disrespectful to that woman and I don't like that you think you can behave that way and make it all okay with a simple I'm sorry." Jack scolded her.

"Jack, do really think this is the place for this?" Kate asked.

"Waiting until the moment is over and rehashing it later doesn't really seem appropriate either. We're going to go find Dr. Allison and you're going to apologize." Jack said, taking Maggie's hand and attempting to lead her out of the room they were in.

Maggie pulled away from him angrily, folded her arms over her chest and refused to move.

"Come with me now." Jack said sternly.

"No!" Maggie refused.

Jack studied the child for a moment, decided he wasn't going to allow a scene to take place in front of all of his colleagues, picked his daughter up and carried her out of the home. He put her in the car and while Kate sat with her to make sure she didn't escape, he reentered the party, made his apologies to the host and rejoined his family, finding them both in tears and wondering not only what had transpired, but how much more of Maggie's behavior he could take.

"What happened?" He asked as he fastened his seatbelt.

"It's not important." Kate said.

"It is important. What did she do? Why are you crying Maggie?" Jack asked and looked back at his daughter.

"I'm going to be in so much trouble." She answered.

"Kate, what did she do?" Jack asked in an extremely agitated tone.

"Jack, she's just upset, she didn't mean it." Kate said.

"Kate. Please." He pushed.

"She was angry and trying to run off. I was holding onto her and trying to get her back into the car. She slapped me in the face and called me a bitch, said she hated me and that she wished I would die. I shouldn't have let it get to me, but she was so angry Jack and her eyes were so….I didn't even recognize her." Kate told him.

Jack glanced back at Maggie again and she dropped her head and began crying harder.

"I'm sorry dad, I don't know........" She started, but was cut off by Jack.

"Hush. I'm not interested in hearing any more of your empty apologies Maggie." Jack grumbled.

He knocked lightly on the door and entered the room. She was curled up in a ball on the bed, holding a stuffed animal and crying. Her behavior had left him no other choice but to take away the one thing she loved the most, which was her being allowed to play basketball and promising that there would be no softball in the spring either if the behavior didn't improve. He got closer, saw the vomit soaked bed coverings beside her and found himself torn and confused, not knowing whether to be angry with her or worried sick about her.

"Maggie if you weren't feeling well why didn't you at least try to make it off the bed?" He asked.

"I can't daddy, my head hurts so bad and I feel too tired to move." She said as a fresh stream of tears rolled down her face.

"Okay sweetheart, but we need to get you up and change your sheets." He said softly.

"I can't do it daddy." She cried.

"It's okay, I'll help you." He said.

"No, it's too embarrassing. Get Kate, please." She pleaded with him.

Jack looked her over and finally noticed that her pajama bottoms were urine soaked and decided at that moment that even though the next day was Christmas Eve, his daughter was going to see a doctor. He hadn't noticed Kate in the doorway, too focused on what was happening to his child to notice anything else.

"I'll just help you into the bathroom and you can clean yourself up. Okay?" He offered.

"I can't do it. Please daddy, you can punish me some more or beat me or whatever, just please don't humiliate me." She cried.

"It's okay Jack, I'll help her." Kate said and entered the room, sitting on the bed and running a comforting hand over the side of Maggie's face.

"I'm sorry Kate. I don't know why I said that mean stuff. I don't want you to die." Maggie cried.

"I know you didn't mean it sweetie. Come on, let your dad bring you into the bathroom and I'll help you get cleaned up." She said and moved so Jack could lift the child out of the bed.

Jack lifted Maggie out of the bed, noticing the limpness in her right side and kissing her on the forehead, checking for fever as he began trying to diagnose her. She was so out of it by the time he got her into the bathroom that it took both of them to get her cleaned up and get a clean change of pajamas on her. He carried her into his bedroom, laid her on the bed and disappeared into the closet to change his shirt. He had the t-shirt over his head and almost pulled all the way down when Kate began screaming for him. When he came out of the closet Maggie was seizing violently while Kate did her best to hold her down. Jack took over and after what seemed like an eternity the child's body finally stopped jerking. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, weak, unaware and barely conscious.

"Jack what's happening?" Kate asked.

"Damn, how could I have missed this?" He mumbled to no one in particular.

"Missed what?" Kate asked.

"We need to take her to the hospital. Can you drive? I need to hold her in case she starts seizing again." Jack said.

Kate didn't question him further. She could tell he was trapped some place between a panicked father and a concerned physician and decided that delaying things by bogging him down with questions would serve no useful purpose.

She listened as Jack talked with another doctor on his cell phone, driving just a little over the speed limit and him not suggesting she speed up or slow down, focused solely on the child sleeping in his lap and what he believed was happening to her. He put his cell phone away and looked over at Kate, his face and eyes showing every bit of fear and desperation he was currently feeling.

"Jack what is it?" Kate asked.

"I missed it all Kate. I should've recognized the symptoms, but I was just too close to her and the situation to look at things openly and objectively." Jack said regretfully.

"Symptoms of what?" She asked.

"I think she's got a brain tumor Kate. The changes in her behavior, the headaches, the nausea, the sudden distaste for foods she used to love, the weakness and tingling in her hand and I bet the day she fell, she didn't trip over her own feet, I bet her leg just gave out on her. She can barely move her right side Kate and the seizure, well there's no telling how many of those she's been having that nobody has noticed. I can't believe I didn't put it together sooner." He continued to beat himself up.

"Jack, don't you think someone would've noticed her seizing?" Kate asked.

"Seizures don't always present themselves that violently Kate. A lot of times a person who is seizing appears to just be staring off into space. It all makes sense now and I've been punishing and scolding my daughter for months over something she had no control over." He said sadly.

"Jack, you can't blame yourself. There was so much going on that it was natural to assume her problems were emotional instead of physical." Kate tried to reason with him.

"Kate I'm a neurologist. I should've put it all together." He argued.

She didn't argue with him because she knew it would be pointless. He was going to blame himself, kick himself and never forgive himself for this and she was going to let him for a little while. She left him alone with his thoughts and focused on getting them to the hospital safely.


	39. Chapter 39

Kate pulled the car up to the ER doors, let Jack and Maggie out and parked the car in his assigned parking space. She entered the ER and one of the nurses led her back to the exam room where they'd taken Maggie. She was on the exam table and a nurse was inserting an IV. Maggie whimpered just a little, so out of it that while she was aware that she was being stuck and that it hurt, she didn't have the ability to react much to it. Kate joined Jack at the foot of the exam table, feeling his arm drape around her waist and hold tightly to her, not speaking and using every bit of control he had not to jump in and start barking out orders. The door opened and a man who was a little older than Jack walked into the room. Kate recognized him as one of the colleagues that would join Jack for dinner at the restaurant on occasion.

"I got here as fast as I could." He said, shook Jack's hand and immediately began examining Maggie.

"When did the symptoms start? He asked.

"I'm really not sure Dave, but the behavior problems have been going on for awhile, months." Jack said.

"She's got very little reflex on her right side. How long has she been like this?" Dave asked, just as Maggie began seizing again.

"The headaches and nausea and lethargy have only been prominent the last couple of days. Tonight is the first time she's been like this and I never noticed a seizure before tonight, but…….could you please just do the MRI Dave?" Jack answered becoming very agitated as he stood by and watched helplessly while his daughter's body jerked violently.

Jack stood back and listened to his colleague order the nurses to inject a variety of medications into the IV and while he knew it was necessary, he hated the idea that his daughter was about to be so heavily drugged. He just wanted the MRI done and he wanted it done now and for the first time in his medical career he was getting to experience what it was like to sit on the other side of the desk, what it was like for all those people who over the years he'd told to be patient, that things take time, that they were doing everything they could.

"Jesus Dave, are you going to trust my instincts and do the MRI or do I need to get another neurologist in here?" Jack snapped

"They're getting ready for her as we speak. Look, I understand where you're coming from Jack, I do, I've got three kids and would be climbing the walls if I had to sit back and trust their health to someone else, but if that were my daughter I'd trust you, so I need you to trust me Jack. Go sit in your office and I'll bring the MRI results up as soon as we're done." Dave said.

"No, I'm coming with you." Jack objected.

"Jack, I'm going to take excellent care of your daughter, but I am not going to do that with you breathing down my neck, so either go sit and wait or find another neurologist." Dave told him.

"Come on Jack, let's go, let them do what they need to do." Kate urged.

Jack watched as they wheeled Maggie out of the room and then escorted Kate to his office. She sat behind the desk and he paced, glancing down at his watch over and over and as far as she could tell ready to explode. She'd known Jack a long time, had seen his different moods and many of his emotions, but this was something she hadn't experienced yet. He was falling apart from the inside out and trying desperately to pull himself back together. She finally stood, came around the desk, stood in front of him and grabbed hold of his forearms, forcing him to stop pacing and look at her.

"What?" He asked his eyes as blank and distant as he was at the moment.

"It's okay to fall apart you know." She said.

His eyes and his face softened and he placed his hands on her lower back and pulled her into him, holding her close and whispering in her ear.

"I'm fine." He said, pulling back some and kissing her softly.

"No you're not, but I understand that you think you need to be. If you need someone to lean on, I'm here for you Jack. Okay?" She asked.

"Okay." He said and pulled her back in, finding that holding onto her made it easier to hold himself together.

She sat on the leather sofa on the other side of his office and finally convinced him to sit with her, watching him lean forward, elbows on his knees and hands clamped over the back of his head and she guessed that the chaos inside his head had to be enough to drive most people crazy. She rubbed gentle circles over his back and just let him be as alone with his thoughts as he needed to be, deciding he'd talk when he was ready to talk.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" He finally said.

"Jack, you don't know for sure that she's got a tumor, but if she does and that's what was causing her to behave so badly the two of you will work it out. She loves you Jack. You're her dad and you're a good father, the type of father that all little girls deserve to have." She said.

"I'm not wrong Kate. She's very sick. I saw it in her eyes tonight and I can't believe I didn't see it sooner. Jesus, I shoved a bar of soap into her mouth." He said with so much regret and anguish her heart ached for him and her eyes filled with tears she quickly got under control.

Before she had a chance to find some comforting words for him, there was a light knock on the door and Dave entered the room with an envelope. He walked over to the light boards on the wall, flipped a switch and began hanging up the pictures of Maggie's head. Jack stood beside him quietly, arms crossed over his chest and studying each individual picture. Kate had no idea what the two men were studying so intently, but she could tell by their faces and their silence that it wasn't good news.

"You've got some decisions to make Jack. You should talk with Maggie's mother and let me know what you want to do." Dave said.

"There are no decisions to make Dave. You know what I'd recommend, so let's just do it." Jack said.

"Look at the size of it. There's a chance radiation therapy and chemotherapy alone could buy her some time." Dave offered.

"If you don't want to do it Dave, I'll find someone who will." Jack snapped.

"It's risky Jack, you know that. You know what we put the Adams kid through and that's why you need to talk with her mother and decide what is best for Maggie." Dave said.

"Michelle Adams was worse than this Dave." Jack argued.

"Why because she had three inoperable tumors and Maggie's only got one?" Dave asked.

"It's not inoperable. You just aren't willing to try. Jack accused.

"Jack, I'm willing to try, but you need to decide if you want to put Maggie through it." Dave said.

"You want to know if I want you to buy my daughter some time or if I want you to aggressively attack this thing and possibly save her life. There's no decision to be made here." Jack said.

"Jack, please. Take some time……" Dave urged.

"No! This is what we do Dave right? We give people impossible odds, offer them a sliver of hope and then act as though they ever really had a choice. You're asking me if I want to hand my daughter a death sentence or if I want you to try to cure her and you believe I actually need to think about that?" Jack snapped.

"Okay Jack. As you can see the tumor is bleeding. I'll schedule an OR so we can drill a hole and drain the blood. We'll use a shunt to allow for additional drainage. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. We'll wait a couple of days to remove the tumor so you can have Christmas together." Dave said.

"Just remove the tumor Dave, who cares what fucking day it is." Jack grumbled.

"Maggie cares." Kate reminded him in a tone that snapped him out of his angry, self-loathing state of mind.

"Right. I'm sorry Dave, I know you're just……this is……" Jack searched for the right words.

"It's okay Jack, I understand. I'm going to go take care of Maggie and as soon as we're done I'll have one of the nurses come get you." Dave said, gathering the scans and patting Jack on the shoulder as he left the room.

Jack dropped himself back onto the couch beside Kate, wound tighter than a rubber band and doing his best to not allow himself to feel the fear or the grief that any normal parent in the same situation would be feeling.

"Jack, you can't hold it all in, it's not healthy." Kate said, not Maggie's mother, but finding herself needing to cry for the little girl and not understanding how Jack could just suck it up.

He forced a smile and took hold of her hand.

"I'm okay Kate. I need to call Stacy and let her know what's going on." Jack said.

"Do you want some privacy?" Kate asked.

"Do you mind?" He asked.

"No, of course not. I'll go downstairs and find us some coffee." She said, kissing him on the mouth, holding his face in her hands, seeing all the pain and fear in his eyes and finding that it hurt to breathe.

"There's a coffee shop in the lobby." He said and forced another smile.

"I love you." She said and kissed him once more before standing and walking away, unable to control her own tears any longer, hurting for him in ways she never would've imagined possible.

Kate returned with the coffee, finding him exactly where she left him, agitated and ticking, slowly ticking. She handed him the coffee and sat beside him. He put his arm around her and she relaxed back into him, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

"Is Stacy coming?" Kate asked.

"Hell if I know. Bill refused to let me talk to her so I filled Mike in on everything that's happening and he said he'd go talk to Stacy in the morning. Mike will be here tomorrow night." Jack said.

"What's going to happen to her Jack?" Kate asked.

"The tumor is bleeding so they're going to drill a small hole and drain the blood. They'll insert a small drainage tube that will allow any further bleeding to be directed away from her brain and we'll take her home with us probably sometime tomorrow afternoon. Draining the blood should make her feel a little better and hopefully lessen some of the paralysis on her right side." Jack explained.

"Then what, how sick is she Jack?" Kate asked.

"She's got a very large tumor that left untreated would probably kill her within three months. She's very sick Kate and I missed every single symptom." He said sadly.

"Why did that other doctor say you had decisions to make Jack?" Kate asked.

"A tumor like that can be treated with radiation and chemotherapy, but the patient usually dies within three to five years. If he tries to remove it surgically it could result in instant death or severe brain damage, but there is the a chance that he could successfully remove the tumor and after that Maggie would have to undergo intense radiation therapy and chemotherapy, but when it's all said and done she could be completely cured." Jack told her.

"Could be cured, but nothing you do is a guarantee? I mean if you don't do the surgery and just do the radiation treatments is there a chance she could be cured?" Kate asked.

"No, not with a tumor that is as involved as that one is. Her best chance is to remove it, all of it and then hit the area hard with radiation so nothing can grow back, ever. The surgery is very risky though. She might wake up from the surgery perfectly fine, she might wake up with severe neurological impairments or she might not wake up at all. So, the decision today is do we not do the surgery and prolong her life for a few years in hopes that a better option will come along or do we take the risk and aggressively go after it." Jack said.

"But you cured Michelle Adams right?" Kate asked.

"That was very different. The treatments are similar, but Michelle had tumors on her spine and in her brain and her prognosis was much grimmer than Maggie's is, if you can imagine that. She's cured for now, but I recommended scans of her spine and brain every six months for the next five years to make sure the tumors don't return. Whether or not her mother follows up on that is up to her." Jack said, his tone clinical and detached.

"Jack, don't you think that Maggie and Maggie's mother should have a say in this?" Kate asked.

"No." He said stubbornly.

"Jack." Kate objected.

"Kate, Maggie is only 12 and I don't want to fill her head with all this scary information. She's a child and if you give a child a choice between having their head shaved and cut open and not having that done, the child is going to choose not having it done 99 percent of the time because they have no concept of death and it's finality and Stacy doesn't handle stuff like this well, so it's best if she just be informed about what's going to happen and not rely on her to make decisions." He told her noticing the look of disapproval and perhaps even a little disgust on her face.

"Don't look at me like that Kate. If you were Maggie's mother I'd want your input, but you're not and the woman who is has many wonderful qualities, but the ability to think with a clear head when her child is suffering isn't one of them. What would you do if you were me Kate?" He asked.

"You mean about the surgery?" Kate asked.

"Yes." He said.

"I don't know Jack, but if it were my child and you weren't 100 percent honest with me about everything I'd never forgive you regardless of how it turned out. So what if she falls apart and demands that you handle it, at least you would be handling it with her blessing. Jack, you can't make a life and death decision about Maggie by yourself, not when there is time to involve her mother. It's just wrong." Kate told him.

He looked at her for a moment and smiled as much as a man who was close to self-destructing could smile.

"You're pretty amazing you know that right?" He asked.

She placed both hands on his face and kissed him, pulling back and looking into his eyes.

"Jack, I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now, I just hope you'll lean on me as much as you need to." She told him.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, having no words, but finding comfort in holding onto her with everything he had. They finally separated and relaxed back into the couch. About an hour later Dave knocked lightly and entered the room.

"We drained the blood and she's resting comfortably. They're moving her to pedes. I'm not sure which room. If all goes as planned she can go home tomorrow after lunch and I'll schedule the tumor removal first thing on the 26th so have her here around 5 AM." Dave said.

"Thanks Dave." Jack said and shook his hand.

"Don't thank me yet Jack. Save that for when Maggie walks out of here cured." Dave said and left the room.


	40. Chapter 40

Jack carried the sleeping child into her bedroom, placed her gently on the bed and covered her. He sat on the bed and brushed the hair away from her face, noticing how small and helpless she looked and having to swallow hard as he regained control of his emotions. He felt her come up behind him and wrap her arms around his shoulders from behind. He placed one hand over one of hers and squeezed it gently.

"Do you think she'll perk up some?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, she's still feeling the effects of the surgery and the meds she's taking for the seizures will make her drowsy, but she should come around as the day goes on." He said.

"She'll be excited to see Mike I bet." Kate said as he stood, put his arm around her and walked them out of Maggie's bedroom.

"She's going to be crying for her mother." Jack sighed.

"So, you'll just tell her that her mother is sick and can't make the trip." Kate said as they lay down on their bed together.

"I guess that wouldn't be a lie." He said, moving toward the center of the bed and inviting her to snuggle up next to him.

"Get some sleep Jack." She said and pulled a blanket over them.

Maggie was a little groggy, but enjoyed Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her two favorite men and Kate. They did their best to keep her busy and unable to dwell on what lie ahead. Both men had to leave the room when she talked to her mother, the child begging her mother to come be with her along with the tears too much for either one of them to deal with without breaking down with her. The paralysis on her right side was still pretty significant so she had to be carried from room to room and Kate helped her dress and undress and bathe. Mike had gone back to his hotel for the night and Kate had gone to soak in a hot bath while Jack put Maggie to bed. She was a bright little girl and knew that something bad was happening because of the way the adults were acting around her. He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead and she grabbed his arm with her left hand.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" She asked.

"Of course." He said and smiled at her trying hard not to think about how this could be the last time he ever tucked his daughter in for the night.

"Daddy you look so different. What's really wrong with me?" She asked.

"I'm just tired baby." He lied.

"I'm really sick aren't I? You can tell me dad, I can take it." She said.

"I told you Maggie, you've got something growing inside your head and once the doctors take it out you will start feeling better. Everything is going to be better. I promise." He said and smiled a guilty smile at her.

"It's not your fault dad." She said.

"What's not my fault?" He asked.

"You didn't know I was sick. You thought I was being a brat. I am a brat." She said making him chuckle lightly.

"I'm so sorry I didn't recognize what was happening to you. I screwed up big this time Maggs." He said sadly.

"You say that like you always screw up or something dad and you don't so don't be sad. I don't like it when you're sad." Maggie told him.

"I'm not sad Maggie. I haven't been sad once since the day you came into my life. I love you so much." He told her refusing to give into the emotions and allow his little girl to see just how sad and frightened he really was at the moment.

"Dad, am I going to die?" She asked, able to sense that her dad was very scared even if he refused to let it show.

"No." He said confidently, so confidently that she believed him and immediately felt less afraid.

"When I'm better will I stop feeling so mad and like I don't care?" She asked.

"I think that all of us have times when we feel mad and like we don't care, especially when we are the age that you are right now, but I think the big difference will be that you will be able to control how you express those feelings." He said.

"But I don't want to be bad anymore dad." She said and wiped a tear away.

"Shh, you're not bad now and you won't be bad after you wake up tomorrow. I promise honey, all those things you couldn't control, you will be able to control much better once we get the bad stuff out of your head." He told her and kissed her forehead again.

"I don't want to control them much better, I want them to go away forever." She cried.

"Hey Maggs, come on kiddo, we all have bad days and we all get angry, that never goes away completely. It's part of being human. But you know better than to spit or to slap people or cuss and when the tumor is gone you will remember that you know those things are against the rules and you will be able to stop yourself. Do you understand?" He asked.

"I think so, but what if I forget sometimes?" She asked.

"Then I'll remind you." He said.

"With soap?" She asked driving the knife through his heart and twisting it.

"I doubt you will ever need that harsh of a reminder ever again Maggie. Will you do something for me?" He asked and offered a kind, gentle smile.

"What?" She asked.

"Trust me when I say you will feel better and promise me you believe that you are going to go back to being a regular brat, which is just how it should be." He said and winked at her, making her smile at him.

"Dad, do you think mom will like me again once the tumor is gone?" Maggie asked sadly.

"Your mom loves you Maggie. She'd be here if she weren't so sick." Jack told her.

"She's not that sick, she's mad at me for acting so bad. Dad, I don't think getting rid of the tumor is going to make me feel happy with Mom and Bill and that's bad and mom hates me now." She told him.

"You know what? You're 12 and you're not responsible for your parents. It is our job to love you and take care of you and do our best to make sure you have everything you need emotionally to be happy." Jack said.

"Bill is really scary daddy. He's so mean and he says bad things about you all the time. Why does mom love someone like that?" Maggie asked.

"I don't know honey, but I do know that your mom loves you very much. Whatever is keeping her away, those are her problems and it's all about her. It's got nothing to do with you." Jack said, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek and feeling her good arm drape around his neck.

He leaned in closer and let her hug him tightly, feeling her kiss him on the cheek and feeling like he might go crazy or stop breathing or both if he didn't end their conversation and get some air.

"I love you daddy." She said softly.

"I love you too. Get some sleep." He said and tried to get up.

"You said you'd stay until I went to sleep." She protested so he sucked it up, turned off the lamp and lay down beside her.

She found him on the deck with a cold beer and a cigarette. She came up behind him and rubbed her hands over his back, making him jump and then toss the cigarette out into the sand.

"Since when do you smoke?" She asked.

"I don't." He said.

"Okay. Well, take as much time as you need. I'm going to bed." She said, kissing him and disappearing inside the condo.

She'd been so supportive the last few days and she'd been reading him like a book, knowing that he was crumbling on the inside, but allowing him to come to grips with it on his own if that's what he needed to do, while constantly letting him know that she's there for him whenever he's done keeping it all inside. He was terrified to let himself give into it, afraid he'd never be able to pull himself back together and never wanting his daughter to see him crack, not even for a minute. He finished his beer, entered the condo, locked all the doors and windows and entered their bedroom.

It was quiet and he thought she was asleep so he quietly stripped down to his boxers and sat on the edge of the bed. He felt her snake her arms around him from behind and place a gentle kiss on the top of his shoulder and he didn't know why, but in that moment he finally lost it. Two and half days of anger, fear, and grief came pouring out of him along with the intense sadness that he'd told his daughter he didn't feel. But he'd felt it, the idea that in less than 24 hours he could be planning his child's funeral making him so sad he felt like he couldn't breathe and he sat on the edge of the bed with her soothing, loving arms wrapped around him and sobbed.

She stayed with him, holding onto him and allowing him to lean on her. She finally moved around and off the bed and stood in front of him. He took hold of her hands and looked up at her, the dimly lit room showing her just how much he needed her in that moment. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her, holding onto her and the comfort that having her in his arms brought. She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him softly, feeling him respond, his hands moving up and holding her head as he held her there and deepened the kiss, desperate and needy. She broke the kiss, her holding his head and him holding hers, foreheads pressed together.

"Shhh" She whispered and kissed him again.

He returned the kiss with more passion and less desperation this time, needing to feel good and be allowed to make her feel good and forget if only for a short time. He laid them back and rolled her onto her back, his hand slipping underneath her shirt and finding a soft warm breast. He moaned lightly and pressed more of his weight into her, the thin material of his boxers doing little to hide the hardening need beneath.

He broke their kiss and sat up, pulling her up with him and removing her shirt before laying her back again and swallowing her up in another deep, wet, passionate kiss, his temperature steadily rising and making his skin almost hot to the touch. She reached between them, found the opening in his boxers and wrapped her hand around his hardening length. He stopped kissing her and closed his eyes, feeling her soft hand slowly pumping him and enjoying it immensely. She pulled his head down so that his ear was at her mouth and she began describing what he felt like in her hand and what it was doing to her. He found he couldn't move, the sexy whispering coupled with her wonderfully skilled hand working him over like a pro rendering him temporarily helpless.

She could feel the precum on her hand and wanted to roll him over, take him into her mouth and blow his mind as well as the part of him that was throbbing in her hand. He'd been so focused on staying in control the last few days that she wanted to force him to relinquish all control and just let go, but she could feel him begin to tug at her pants and knew he wanted to make love and she couldn't imagine ever not wanting him to make love to her. She let go of him, grabbed the waistband of her lounge pants and panties, lifted her hips and pushed them down to her knees, feeling his hand snake its way between her legs before she had a chance to get them down any further. He cupped her heat and she opened up as much as the binding pants would allow, feeling a fingertip dip inside of her and then glide up through her crease.

He moved off of her and pulled the pants and panties the rest of the way off, sitting on his knees between her legs and looking down at her with so much love and awe she was certain her heart skipped a beat. She sat up and pushed the boxers down to his knees, taking him into her hands and caressing him softly as she leaned in and held his penis to the side of her face, hearing him suck in his breath just before she felt his fingers on her shoulders, balancing himself and preparing to be swallowed whole. She began slowly at first, little flicks of her tongue on the tip followed by long, gentle licks and finally opening wide, placing her mouth over his tip and taking him as deep as she could, her head slowly bobbing up and down and him completely into it.

"That's so good." He panted, his fingers now tangled in her hair, encouraging her to keeping going, his dick so hard she was sure he was going to explode any second.

He finally regained control of the situation, convinced her to stop and laid her back gently, following on top, her opening up wide for him and him penetrating her with ease, holding his position and looking into her eyes. He didn't need to speak. She really could read him like a book and as much as he needed to love her in that moment, she wanted and needed to be loved by him and couldn't imagine ever wanting or needing anyone but him.

He began moving, thrusting deep and hard and bringing her off very quickly before allowing her to roll him onto his back so she could ride him slowly into orgasm, his hands cupped over her breasts as she slowly worked their connection, taking back the control and him happily giving into it. He'd been so wound up and twisted into knots over Maggie, but for now, for these few minutes his mind was free and clear and she was using the moment to express all the love and desire she had for him, both of them finally climaxing together and her falling forward on top of him.

She could feel his hands tracing soft, feathery circles over her back and lay still for awhile enjoying the intimacy of the moment. She finally let him slip out of her and snuggled up beside him, feeling him wrap his arm around her and hold onto her as though she were the only thing in the world keeping him from self-destructing.

"She's going to be okay Jack and I'm not just saying that because I love you and want you to feel better. I believe it." She said.

"It's funny. I'm a doctor and never look at things that way, never see hope or belief, just what the real scientific odds are, but the last couple of days I've found myself clinging to the notion of hope or gut beliefs because I can't let myself consider the alternative without forgetting to breathe." He said softly.

"Well if you forget to breathe, I'll remind you." She said.

"I know you will. You've been so amazing Kate. You're so good with her and the way you stepped in and helped out, helped do things for her that would've been humiliating for her if I'd had to do it. There's no way I can hope to show my gratitude." He said.

"Jack, I don't want your gratitude. You're my best friend and if the roles were reversed you'd do the same for me because always being there for each other is the kind of relationship we've always had." She told him.

"Kate, I would, I would do anything for you and I appreciate that you feel the same way, but I don't want you to feel like you're stuck." He said.

"Stuck?" She asked.

"When you agreed to marry me we didn't know Maggie was sick and she is very sick Kate. Even if the surgery goes well tomorrow she's facing a lengthy recovery and it's going to be hard on her and everyone around her. If you don't want to do this with me right now Kate I'd understand." He told her.

She sat up enough to look at him. His eyes were sincere and she considered being offended that he believed she'd just bail on him, but she realized he didn't believe that all, he was simply taking her feelings and her needs into consideration and letting her know he'd be okay and still love her if she wanted to step away from the situation.

"Jack, I love you and when I agreed to marry you I knew that I'd be gaining a stepdaughter and I plan on loving her as much as I love you if she'll let me. She's so sick Jack and she needed my help and it never occurred to me that I wouldn't want to do anything I could to make it little less difficult for her. Would you really want to marry a woman that could turn her back on that?" She asked.

"I don't know Kate. I don't think it would be right for me to have those expectations of you, but I'll be honest and tell you that it's a good feeling to know that the woman I'm going to marry couldn't turn her back on a sick, needy child. I'm not surprised though. I fell in love with you because you are incredible and amazing and beautiful inside and out." He said and kissed her and encouraged her to lay back down with him.

"I think you might be a little biased Jack, but I happen to find you to be incredible, amazing and beautiful inside and out as well and I want to do this with you Jack, right now, tomorrow and five years from now. I'm not going to let you go through this ordeal with Maggie alone and whatever she wants or needs from me, I'm there." Kate said, her tone determined and leaving no room for any further argument from him.


	41. Chapter 41

"No! Make them stop daddy!" Maggie cried as she fought the two nurses.

Jack moved in beside the bed and tried to comfort his hysterical daughter while Kate moved in on the other side and tried to hold her hand.

"Baby, it's okay and it won't hurt one bit." Jack spoke softly.

"No dad, if they cut all my hair off mom is going to be so mad. Please don't let them do it." Maggie pleaded with him.

"Mom won't be mad honey, I promise." Jack tried to assure her.

"Yes she will and she's already so mad at me. I don't want the surgery! I want to go home!" She cried.

"Mommy isn't mad at you sweetie." A familiar voice came from the doorway, calming Maggie down instantly.

Stacy entered the room and Kate quickly moved away from the bed allowing her to be with her daughter. Kate knew that Jack was upset with Stacy and wanted more than anything to say something hateful to her, but he sucked it up for Maggie's sake and smiled at her.

"Mom, you came." Maggie said happily and hugged her mother tightly.

Stacy could feel herself about to lose it and looked at Jack. He could see the tears in her eyes and shook his head at her. She knew he was telling her to pull herself together, but she wasn't sure she could. She felt Jack's hand cover hers and was amazed at how even though they'd never shared a romantic relationship beyond their one night stand she could draw strength and reassurance from his touch. She quickly pulled herself together and broke the embrace with her daughter.

"I'm here baby. I couldn't let my little girl go into surgery without seeing her and making sure she knows how much I love her. You know that don't you Maggie? I love you more than anything and I am so sorry for everything that happened. It was my fault sweetheart, all of it." Stacy said.

"It's okay mom, I was a brat. They want to cut all my hair off. Is that okay?" She asked.

"Whatever it takes to make you well sweetheart, it's just hair." She said.

"Will you stay while they do it?" Maggie asked.

"I'll stay as long as they'll let me." Stacy said.

Kate looked at the scene, the child in the bed and the two concerned parents on either side of her, suddenly felt like she was intruding and quickly left the room. She wasn't jealous or anything, but just felt like it was a moment that needed to be kept between the three of them. She sat next to Mike in the waiting room and watched the man with the military haircut sit quietly and completely alone on the other side of the room.

"You must be Bill." Kate said.

"Yes ma'am." Bill answered.

"It's good you brought Stacy. Maggie really needed her." Kate said.

"I offered to let her make the trip with Mike, but she refused. I don't know what kind man either of you think I am, but I'm not the kind of man who would keep a mother away from her sick child. I left the children with friends and insisted she do this. It's not right that a little girl might not survive and her mother was too afraid to come see her for what might the last time. That bastard was right. Stacy is very sick." Bill explained.

"That bastard? You mean Jack?" Kate snapped in an angry tone.

"Let's not do this, not here and not now." Mike interjected.

"Of course, you're right, I'm sorry. I hope Stacy will start feeling better soon. Maggie really misses her." Kate offered.

"You and me both little lady." Bill grumbled.

Jack entered the waiting room about 30 minutes later, looking as tired and tense as Kate had ever known him to be. Neither had slept the night before, lying in each other's arms talking until after 3 AM and then just quietly holding onto each other until the alarm went off an hour later.

"They're getting ready to take her down so you might want to, you know." Jack said softly and sat beside Kate.

Mike excused himself so he could go see Maggie before they took her away. Bill stood and approached Jack.

"I'm sorry about your daughter Jack. I hope everything works out." Bill said and held his hand out and Jack could no longer just suck it up and play nice.

"Why are you sorry Bill? She's just a mistake that you were forced to put up with right? I mean come on Bill, you are talking to the asshole that screwed Stacy and made her raise his mistake for 12 years. Fuck you!" Jack hissed.

"Jack." Kate said softly and took hold of his hand, noticing that it was trembling and having to resist the urge to cry for him and how obviously terrified he was.

Bill walked away, not interested in defending what was indefensible. He'd be the first to admit he didn't like Maggie and was happy she was no longer under his roof, but he didn't wish for the child to be ill and fighting for her life and understood how Jack had to be feeling at the moment.

"Do you want to go see her one more time before they take her down?" Jack asked Kate.

"Sure, let's go." Kate said, knowing that he needed her to hold onto while he told his daughter goodbye.

They entered the room where Maggie was being moved from the bed onto a gurney. Stacy leaned in and kissed Maggie on the cheek.

"I'm going to let your dad come tell you goodnight and I'll see you when you wake up. Okay?" Stacy said, tears streaming down her face and no longer holding it together.

"Don't cry mom, I'll see you in a few hours." Maggie said bravely.

"Yes you will and don't you worry about your mom sweetie, I'll take care of her." Mike said as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

Jack watched Mike and Stacy leave the room and waited until they had Maggie situated on the gurney before moving in beside it, with Kate by his side. Tears began slipping down Maggie's face and Jack tightened the grip he had on Kate while he reached in with his free hand and wiped her tears away.

"Shh, it's going to be okay Maggie, I promise." Jack told her.

"I'm scared daddy, can you come with me?" She cried.

"Honey I can't." He told her.

"But why, you're a surgeon." Maggie cried and Jack looked up at the surgical nurse.

"She's getting the twilight shot right now Dr. Shephard. She'll be too sleepy to care in a few seconds." The nurse said as she injected some medicine into Maggie's IV.

"You should be feeling really relaxed and sleepy baby. Do daddy a favor and just close your eyes. Okay?" He whispered softly and kissed her on the forehead.

"I love you dad." She mumbled, her eyes fighting to stay open, but losing the battle.

"I love you too." He said and pulled back so they could wheel her out of the room.

He watched until she was gone and the door closed and then wrapped his arms around Kate and pulled her close, holding onto her and her holding onto him. He never spoke and never broke down. He just held on long enough to pull himself together and then pulled back, kissing her softly and making eye contact with her. Neither spoke, both nodding as if to say they understood each other and then walked hand-in-hand toward the waiting room to join the others.

Jack noticed that Bill was no longer in the waiting room and that Mike was the one tasked with consoling Stacy. He and Kate sat in the chairs directly across from them and didn't speak.

"Go ahead and say it Jack, you know you want to." Stacy said.

"Say what Stacy?" Jack sighed.

"That I screwed up by not coming the moment Maggie called." Stacy said.

"Why'd you change your mind?" Jack asked, his tone cold.

"Bill made me come." Stacy said.

Jack looked at her for a moment and shook his head, unable to be mad at a woman who clearly didn't have both oars in the water.

"Did you see a doctor Stacy?" Jack asked.

"Yes, but it's not really helping." She said.

"It's only been a few weeks, give it some time." Jack said.

"Jack, I can't do this. I can't. If Maggie wakes up, tell her I'll call her." Stacy said.

"If she wakes up?" Jack snapped, finally fed up with her and her mental state.

"Stacy, how can you leave? She just went into surgery." Mike asked

"I just can't. Please. I have to leave." Stacy said and headed toward the elevators.

Kate jumped up from her chair and chased her down, grabbing her by the arm and forcing her to turn around and talk to her.

"What the hell is the matter with you?!" Kate snapped.

"I don't know you and this is none of your business." Stacy mumbled and turned away from Kate.

"I get that you're not feeling well, but I saw you with her. You love that little girl and you told her you'd be here when she woke up. How can you just leave?" Kate asked.

"Kate, let her be." Jack said and took hold of her arm gently, a move that resulted in her jerking away from him violently.

"No Jack! This is bullshit! What is wrong with you?! You're her mother!" Kate yelled at Stacy.

"I told my daughter what she needed to hear Kate. Okay? She's 12 and she's scared and she needed to hear that her mother wasn't mad at her and that I'd be here when she woke up. What difference does it make whether I'm here or not as long as she wakes up?" Stacy said.

"What?!" Jack asked incredulously.

"Don't you judge me Jack! You have no idea how difficult it has been." Stacy said.

"Stacy she's not going to be like that anymore." Jack told her.

"No! I'm not talking about her behavior. Look, Maggie is happy with you for now and it's probably best if we just leave things that way for awhile. Bill thinks it's best for everyone." Stacy said.

"Bill thinks it's best." Jack huffed sarcastically.

"Stop it Jack! I love my daughter, but I have to decide what is best for everyone and Maggie staying with you is what is best." Stacy said.

"Stacy, she can stay with me for good, that's not a problem, but she misses you and she cries for you and what am I supposed to tell her when she wakes up and you're not here?" Jack asked.

"You'll figure it out Jack, I always did." Stacy huffed.

"It's not the same thing Stacy! Me not always being there was all Maggie ever knew so don't you dare stand there and suggest I left her traumatized and in tears every time I left." Jack snapped.

"No, just in tears. Come on Jack you're a smart man, surely you had to know that your little girl cried for you every time you left." Stacy said, her tone angry and cruel and trying to hurt him.

"Stop it Stacy!" Mike ordered from behind the group.

"Stop what Mike? You were there, you saw it." Stacy said.

"She would get a little weepy, but nothing like you're suggesting and she was always fine 20 minutes after he left. Why are you doing this Stacy? What is wrong with you?" Mike asked.

"I'm sick of everyone always asking me what is wrong with me! Nothing is wrong! I just can't deal with this! Please Jack, just tell her I love her and that I'll call her. You owe me that much." Stacy said.

"I don't owe you anything Stacy and you're obviously not well so just go and don't worry about Maggie. I've never had any desire to bad mouth you around her and still don't." Jack said and walked away.

"Is this anger you're obviously harboring for Jack something new or has it always been there?" Kate asked.

"It's always been there." Mike said regretfully.

"Shut up Mike, it's not your business anymore. Why are you even here?" Stacy snapped.

"Because you made me fall in love with that little girl and I can't just turn that off Stacy. You know I always knew that I wasn't the man that you really wanted, but I thought we loved each other enough and that we were happy. How long before Bill figures out that he's not what you want or need or will he too just come home one day to an empty house?" Mike asked.

"I love Bill!" Stacy objected.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do, but he's not Jack anymore than I was Stacy." Mike seethed.

"That's what all the anger is about? You had deeper feelings for him than he did for you and you've been carrying that around for 13 years?" Kate asked.

"If he left you today Kate, how long do you think you would carry it around?" Stacy asked.

"It's not the same thing Stacy. You spent one night with him 13 years ago. I've slowly built a relationship with him." Kate argued.

"He never wanted to build a relationship with me. He wanted the baby, wanted to take care of it and he's always held up his end of the bargain and then some, but it never occurred to him to try to build something with the mother of his child. How does a man do that? How does he sleep with a woman and raise a child with her and feel nothing for her?" Stacy asked.

"Did you ever tell him you had feelings for him?" Kate asked.

"No, I figured when I told him about the baby and he never once suggested we try to be a couple he wasn't interested, but Maggie kept him in my life." Stacy said, making Mike grimace.

"Are you seriously suggesting you've been using that little girl to hang onto a man you never had in the first place?" Kate asked.

"No, I love my daughter Kate, but she's becoming more and more like him every day and when she smiles a certain way I can see him and I can't, I just can't do this anymore. Him taking her from me was the best thing he ever could've done for her and he needs to keep her so I can get over him once and for all." Stacy said.

"Your 12 year old daughter is undergoing life-threatening surgery and all you can think about is how you can't stand to be around her anymore because she reminds you too much of her father? Are you really as insane as you sound?! Do you have any idea how hurt she is going to be when she wakes up and finds out you left?!" Kate scolded her.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." Stacy sobbed and stepped into the elevator.

Kate turned on Mike, her eyes full of fire and anger and he stepped back a little.

"Did you know?" She asked.

"I knew Stacy was in love with Jack in the beginning and we dealt with that. When she tried to get Jack to let me adopt Maggie, I thought that was her way of finally letting go of those feelings and I honestly thought she had. Apparently I was mistaken. I swear Kate, I had no idea she was still harboring feelings for him until I saw them together just now and she started telling him lies about how Maggie would react to him leaving. Maggie was always fine, it was Stacy that would go into a depressive funk for days." Mike admitted.

"Jack doesn't need to know about this. Not now. He's already beating himself up for not recognizing Maggie's symptoms sooner. If he finds out his child most likely took a beat down from her mother because the woman's obsession with him finally got the best of her, he's............well, I don't even want to think about how he'd handle that news right now. He's too scared for Maggie at the moment to think rationally." Kate said.

"I agree. Let's just focus on Maggie and leave the Stacy insanity for another day." Mike agreed.


	42. Chapter 42

Jack, Kate and Mike had gone to Jack's office to wait for Maggie's surgery to be over. Jack sat on the end of the couch staring off into space while Kate slept with her head in his lap. Mike entered the room with three fresh coffees, but Kate never stirred, every bit as tired as Jack was and no longer able to fight the need to sleep. Jack stroked the side of her face gently and she opened her eyes.

"Do you want some coffee?" He asked softly.

"No thanks." She mumbled, turning onto her other side so her face was facing his body and snuggling in closer, obviously chilled.

"Will you hand me that?" Jack asked Mike and pointed at the white medical coat hanging on the rack in the corner.

Mike handed the coat to Jack and he covered Kate with it.

"So you're getting married?" Mike asked.

"What?" Jack asked in a very distracted tone.

"I saw the ring on her hand. You're getting married?" Mike asked.

"Oh, um, yeah." Jack answered.

"Congratulations." Mike said.

"Thanks." Jack mumbled.

"How'd Maggie take the news?" Mike asked trying to get Jack to focus on something else if even for a few minutes.

"She was devastated." Jack sighed.

"I'm sorry." Mike said.

"It's okay, we talked and I think she's okay with it now. Can I ask you something Mike?" Jack asked.

"Sure." Mike answered.

"When you were married to Stacy, did she ever express regret over her decision to have and keep Maggie?" Jack asked.

"Why do you ask?" Mike asked.

"I don't know, it's something Maggie said that Bill said. He referred to me as the asshole who screwed Stacy and to Maggie as the mistake that resulted from that. Why would he say something like that unless he'd heard Stacy refer to the situation in such a negative way?" Jack asked.

"Because he's an ass Jack and I can't remember Stacy ever expressing regret over her decision to have Maggie, but Stacy today is obviously not the same woman either of us used to know." Mike answered.

"Do you think she's going to be okay, Maggie, I mean?" Jack asked.

"You're the doctor Jack, what do you think?" Mike asked.

"No, I'm not talking about physically. Maybe Stacy and I made a mistake raising her the way we did. Maybe I shouldn't have talked Stacy out of the abortion if I wasn't willing to at least move to the same city my child lived in." Jack said.

"Jack, why are you doing this to yourself?" Mike sighed.

"Because she's really sick Mike and she shouldn't have to go through something like this crying because she wants and needs her mother and she's 200 miles away." Jack said.

"Do you think that if you lived in San Diego this current situation with Stacy would be any different? No Jack it wouldn't, she'd still be walking around like some god damn zombie and she'd still be refusing to be involved in this medical situation. We'll get Maggie through this. I can come up every weekend and help out if you need me to." Mike offered.

"I think you should come up as much as you want, whether we need the help or not. She loves you and you love her and she's going to need as much of that as she can get for the next few months. She was always safe with Stacy wasn't she? I wasn't wrong about that was I? Maggie was happy and safe and loved and wanted while living with you and Stacy wasn't she?" Jack asked.

"Every day Jack, I promise." Mike said.

Kate lay quietly with her head in Jack's lap, eyes closed and listening to their conversation. He wasn't going to handle the news that Stacy has been harboring feelings for him for all these years very well, but she couldn't keep that from him, especially if it had anything to do with her depression and her finally losing it with Maggie and beating her. She knew Jack was right about Maggie and that the child would be crying for her mother and she was determined to be there for Maggie as much as Maggie would allow her to be. She felt the fog in her head growing heavy again and the next thing she remembered was him gently shaking her and calling her name over and over softly. She opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Hey, you were really sleeping." He said and smiled at her.

"What is it? What's happened?" Kate asked in a startled tone.

"Nothing's happened. The surgery is over. They're going to start trying to wake her up in a few minutes and I want to be there for that. Will you be okay here with Mike?" He asked.

"The surgery is over? She's okay?" Kate asked.

"He got all of it and she's alive. Next step is seeing if she's going to wake up and if she does, if she's got any neurological impairments. I won't be gone long." Jack said and helped her sit up.

Jack stepped into the surgery recovery area and watched the small group fussing over his daughter. He glanced at all the different monitors and noticed everything seemed to be functioning within the normal ranges. They were shouting at her loudly trying to bring her around, but she wouldn't open her eyes. Jack could see her fingers attempting to make a fist and nudged Dave.

"Look." Jack told him as they watched her fingers slowly trying to grab a fistful of the sheets.

Jack moved toward the top of the bed and leaned in close, talking softly into Maggie's ear and everyone else backing off and letting him have the moment with her. He reached down and took hold of her hand and spoke into her ear again, feeling her squeeze his hand and unable to control the tears that immediately streamed down his face. He kissed her forehead and spoke softly into her ear again.

"Open your eyes for daddy. Please baby, just open them up and look at me for a minute." He said.

She opened her eyes and looked at him and he smiled at her. She smiled a weak smile back and closed her eyes again.

"That's so good sweetheart. Can you wake up one more time and talk to me?" He continued to push the groggy child.

She opened her eyes again very briefly and closed them again, squeezing his hand again.

"I'm too tired daddy." She mumbled and let go of his hand.

The relief that was coursing through every part of Jack's body was so intense he knew he needed to go find a quiet place and just cry for 20 minutes, but instead he just held onto his daughter's hand, whispered that it was okay to go back to sleep, let his forehead rest on the blankets covering her chest and cried, too exhausted to find the quiet spot and do it privately. The surgeon and the nurses backed off and gave him a few minutes alone. He finally pulled himself together, kissed her on the cheek and moved away from the bed. He walked across the room to Dave, his colleague and friend for years and shook his hand. Dave shook his hand and pulled him in for a quick man-hug, followed by all of the surgical nurses hugging him.

"Thank you isn't enough, but it's all I've got at the moment." Jack told Dave.

"It's enough. You know the drill Jack. She'll spend the next 24 hours in ICU and if she's doing as well as I expect she will be we'll move her to pedes. The tumor was very involved Jack and it's likely the weakness on her right side is still going to be there." Dave warned.

"So we'll deal with that. She's alive Dave with a real chance of being cured. That's all that matters today." Jack said.

"I went ahead and put the port into her chest so she wouldn't need to be put under again. We can start the Chemo in about a week, depending on how fast she bounces back from the brain surgery. You can't be with her right now so you might as well go home and get some sleep." Dave said and patted him on the shoulder.

"I'll be here, in my office. I'm not leaving her." Jack said.

"Jack she's just been through major brain surgery and isn't going to know whether you are here or not for the next day or two." Dave reasoned.

"I'll know." Jack argued.

"When was the last time you slept Jack? I'll make a deal with you. Go check into the hotel across the street and I'll make sure the ICU nurses know to page you if she wakes up." Dave told him.

"Okay, but there are a couple of people here who will want to see her first." Jack said.

"Fine. We'll be moving her to ICU within the hour." Dave said.

They entered the hotel room and stood for a moment before one moved to sit on the bed and the other walked over to the window and opened the blinds. The sun was beginning to set and neither had eaten or slept much in days. She watched him pace in front of the window from where she sat on the bed and decided that she was going to have to force him to settle down for his own good. She picked up the menu for room service, found something they'd both eat and made the call. He looked over at her and waited for her to finish the call. She hung up the phone and looked at him.

"You have to eat Jack." She said firmly and he simply nodded at her.

She moved into the large bathroom, the hotel was of the luxury variety with some of the nicest amenities available. She began filling the large Jacuzzi tub with hot water and bath oils and walked back out into the room. She approached him from behind and wrapped her arms around his waist. He reach around and pulled her around until she was facing him, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her and then pulling her in close, holding her tightly.

"You feel so good. You have no idea how your just being here helps. Want me to come wash your back for you?" He asked, pulling back and smiling a very tired smile at her.

"No, I want you to come and let me wash your back." She said.

"I really don't feel like sitting in a tub of water Kate, but thank you." He resisted.

"Jack, I'm not asking you if you want to, I'm telling you that you are going to come sit and relax in this hot bath with me and then you are going to eat the food I ordered for you and then you are going to go to sleep." Kate insisted.

"Kate my little girl is in intensive care with tubes and wires hooked up to her. How am I supposed to relax?" He asked somewhat annoyed, not with her, but with the idea that he should just relax, eat and sleep.

"Yes she is Jack and when she wakes up she's going to need to see her father standing there big and strong and ready to take care of her every need and that's not going to happen if her father collapses from exhaustion so stop arguing with me and take your clothes off. Now!" Kate scolded him, making him chuckle lightly.

"Under any other circumstances that would've been incredibly hot Kate." He teased and began stripping out of his clothes.

They sat in the hot, steamy water, her behind him sponging the hot water over his back in-between the gentle shoulder massages she was giving him with her hands. He finally convinced her to move around and sit between his legs and relax back into the water with him, her back and the back of her head resting against his front and his arms wrapped around her, holding snugly to her. She finally rolled onto her stomach and snuggled into his chest and stomach, feeling him hug her tightly and kiss the top of her head.

"The water is cooling off, we should get out." He suggested.

"Are you feeling a bit more relaxed?" She asked.

"Very relaxed and also very hungry." He admitted.

They stepped out of the tub and put on the white terry cloth robes the hotel provided. Room service arrived with their food and they enjoyed a quiet dinner together. They stripped out of the robes and met in the center of the bed. She snuggled up next to him the way she liked to and felt his arm drape around her. He was full and warm and sleepy and feeling overwhelmed with emotion. He pushed himself up until he was looking down at her. She placed her hand on the side of his face and smiled at him.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" He asked.

"I have a feeling you're about to show me." She said, snaking her hand in behind his neck and pulling him down for a long, wet, passionate kiss, feeling more and more of his body move onto hers.

She opened up for him, feeling him get comfortable between her legs and knowing he was about to make her the center of every bit of attention he could give her, quickly turning her entire body into a flaming hot quivering pile of desperate need with every slow, precise movement of his mouth.

"Oh god!" She cried out as his warm, wet mouth moved between her legs.

He remained silent and slow and deliberate, her body as responsive as ever and on the edge of release. She could feel it slowly building, and when he brought the soft, tingling warmth out of her she sighed happily and wished he could know how close she felt to him when he could bring that particular brand of orgasm out of her with just his tongue.

He moved up over her body and he felt her wrap her hand around his length, tugging gently and encouraging him to bring it to her mouth. She felt his hand wrap around hers and move her hand slowly up and down. He pulled his hand away, holding his weight off of her and kissing her while she slowly pumped him, his cock growing harder and his kiss growing hungrier with each delicate stroke of her hand. She broke the kiss and pulled his ear down to her mouth while simultaneously putting him into position.

"Make love to me Jack, please." She whispered and opened up wide for him, feeling him push inside and pull back out again before thrusting in as deep as he could and holding his position for a moment.

He began moving and she immediately found a rhythm with him and they rocked together slowly, arms and legs entangled and hands and mouths touching and tasting all that they could. He felt so good inside of her, filling her perfectly and arousing her in ways no man ever had and she guessed that was because he always made her feel loved and like she was the only thing in the world that mattered to him in these moments. He needed this and this moment and the release that was slowly building within him and she did her best to hopefully make him feel as loved and wanted as he always made her feel. She came again, making him smile and reposition them on their sides, face to face, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, their connection slowly grinding. They slowed down, gazing into each other eyes as their releases neared, toppling over the edge together and holding one another tightly as they both stilled and rode it out.

They loosened the grip they had on each other but stayed connected, looking at each other and then sharing one more tender kiss.

"I can't wait to marry you, make babies with you and make a life with you." He said his tone as sweet as it was serious.

"Aren't we already making a life together Jack?" She asked and smiled at him.

"It's going to be better Kate I promise." He said.

"I wouldn't trade one minute of the past few months for whatever it is you consider better, but if you want to promise me more of the same I can live with that." She said, kissed him lightly, pulled away from him gently and started to move off the bed.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To the bathroom. I'll be right back." She said.

He watched her disappear into the bathroom, rolled onto his stomach and closed his eyes. When she returned a few minutes later he was sound asleep. She pulled the comforter over both of them and watched him sleep for a few minutes, satisfied that she'd finally managed to relax him enough to rest for awhile and confident with her decision to wait until he rested to tell him what she knew about Stacy.


	43. Chapter 43

He could feel her gently shaking him and calling his name, but in his mind it was happening in his dream and in his dream he didn't want to wake up. He rolled onto his back and she stopped shaking him and stopped calling his name in his dream, but in his reality she was waiting to see if he was going to open his eyes and talk to her. When he didn't she leaned forward and kissed him and put her mouth to his ear.

"Wake up Jack, the hospital wants to talk to you." She said.

His eyes popped open and he sat up, alert and frightened.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I don't know. Here." Kate said and handed him his cell phone.

He put the phone to his ear and began looking around the room, trying to determine what time it was. She listened to him mumble a few "okays" and a final "I'll be there" and he ended the call.

"What time is it?" He asked.

"It's a little after ten. Is everything okay?" Kate asked.

"AM?" Jack asked in a startled tone.

"Yes AM, Jack is everything okay?" She repeated the question with more urgency.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. She's doing great. They were just calling to let me know Dave had been in to check on her and that they're going to move her to Pedes after lunch and start trying to bring her around. Have I really been asleep for nearly 13 hours?" Jack asked.

"Yes you have. I guess that hot bath and hot food I forced on you had the sedating effect I hoped it would." She said and kissed him softly, feeling him grab her and wrestle her to the mattress before she had a chance to resist.

"The bath was great and the food hit the spot, but I think it was the hot sex you forced on me that did the trick." He teased and kissed her.

"If memory serves, you were on top so how does that equal me forcing you to have sex with me?" She teased back.

"You really didn't think I could sit through sexy hot bath with a beautiful naked woman pampering me and not get turned on by that did you?" He asked.

"It wasn't supposed to be sexy. It was supposed to be relaxing." She said and pretended to pout.

"It was great Kate and apparently just what the doctor ordered since that's the best sleep I've had in forever. Thank you." He said and kissed her one more time before sitting up and pulling her up with him.

"Is she going to be in pain when she wakes up?" Kate asked.

"Maggie? No, not really. The part of her skull that had to be removed and the incision will be a little tender while it's healing, but nothing some Tylenol won't take care of. The worst of her misery is going to come from the radiation and the chemo. I hate that I have to put her through it, but I'm grateful that she's going to be here so I can put her through it. I really thought I was going to lose my daughter yesterday Kate." Jack sighed.

"I know you did. You tried to put up a brave front, but you can't hide stuff like that from me Jack, I can read you like a book." Kate told him and smiled at him.

"Yes you can, and that works both ways. What is it you need to tell me that you don't want to tell me?" Jack asked and then chuckled lightly at the shocked look on her face.

"Okay Jack that's just creepy." Kate said.

"It's not creepy, it's just being observant. For as long as I've known you, whenever you've got something on your mind that you want or need to share with me, but aren't quite sure how or when to put it out there you get quiet, like you're lost in thought and you chew on the inside of your cheek. You've been silently chewing since you returned from the scene with Stacy at the elevator. What's going on?" Jack asked and moved off the bed.

She moved over to the small table and chairs in the room, watched him slip his boxers on and then his jeans, noticed she was chewing on the inside of her cheek and laughed lightly.

"Jack, I know you're eager to get over to the hospital, but I need to talk to you about Stacy, so why not pour yourself a cup of this coffee room service delivered about 30 minutes ago and come over here and sit down with me for a minute." Kate suggested.

Jack looked at her for a moment and could tell that whatever it was seemed pretty important in Kate's eyes so he put his shirt on, poured himself a cup of coffee and sat with her at the table.

"So what's been weighing so heavy on your mind?" He asked.

Kate relayed everything that had transpired with Stacy after he walked away the day before. She wasn't sure how Jack would react, whether he'd be angry, confused or shocked, but as he sat quietly in front of her he seemed ashamed and she'd never considered that Jack would go there, although in hindsight she realized she should've known that would be exactly how he'd react.

"Jack, don't do that. No reasonable person would've expected you to propose to a woman you barely knew just because she was pregnant." Kate told him.

"You know Kate I'll be the first to admit that I suck when it comes to understanding what women want from me, but wouldn't a more sensitive man have at least considered that the mother of his child needed more from him than just money?" He sighed.

"Jack you don't suck at understanding women and you are very sensitive to the needs of others." Kate objected.

"Yeah, I was so good at reading you that I spent nearly a year believing you weren't interested in me." He huffed.

"That's only because I wasn't letting you know I was interested in being more than your friend. Jack you are very good at reading me, too good and if the mother of your child wasn't being honest and telling you she wanted more, then how were you supposed to figure that out?" Kate asked.

"I don't know Kate, but I feel really bad about this. We had a good time together and I left and I thought she was as okay with that as I was. Maybe I should've known. Maybe I just never bothered to look for the signs." Jack continued to blame himself.

"Baby, you're good and I'll tell you that every single day, but the day you start actually believing you're so good you could cause a woman to obsess over a one night stand for 13 years is the day I'd probably have to smack you and suggest you get over yourself." Kate told him, making him let go of a light laugh.

He leaned in and kissed her.

"How'd I survive for so many years without you around to keep me real?" He asked and smiled at her.

"Does that mean that you believe this is Stacy's problem and hers alone and that you aren't going to beat yourself up over something you had no control over because her harboring feelings for you, for so long, after just one night of sex isn't normal Jack." She said.

"It's hard not to beat myself up when my daughter is the one paying for my indiscretions. She loves her mom Kate and she needs her, especially now. How am I supposed to explain what I really don't understand myself?" Jack asked sadly.

"We'll just have to do our best to make her feel secure and get her through it. I'm not going to let you do this alone Jack." Kate said.

"Kate…" He started to object.

"No Jack, you aren't going to make this your own private hell, I won't let you do that to yourself or to Maggie. I'm going to help you take care of her and I may not be her mother, but she'll have someone besides you on her side, someone besides you to sit with her when she's feeling really sick or scared or both and someone to encourage her every day that it's all going to be worth it." Kate insisted.

"Kate, you don't have to do this. I think it's great that you think you want to and I'll welcome all the help I can get, but if at any moment you feel like it's too much you have to promise you'll tell me you've had enough." Jack said.

"Why don't you want me to get close to your daughter Jack?" Kate asked.

"What makes you think that I don't?" He asked.

"Because any time I offer to help you out with her you resist." Kate said.

"I guess I'm just trying to make sure I'm always being fair to you where Maggie is concerned." He admitted.

"Well stop it." She told him.

"Why are you so eager to jump in with both feet Kate? She's been pretty awful to you." Jack asked.

"I guess I understand her Jack." Kate sighed.

"Yeah, I get that, but what else is it Kate?" He continued to prod.

"Does it matter Jack?" She asked, stood and tried to walk away from him.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his lap, holding her there.

"You're so passionate about being there for her Kate and the way you went after Stacy when she was leaving tells me that you might have a good idea how Maggie is going to feel when she wakes up and her mother isn't there for her and that matters to me Kate. Talk to me." Jack said.

"When I was 12, I was feeling really sick and my mom just kept blowing me off, either too drunk or too hung over to be bothered with a sick kid and my dad, well, he was too busy with his new family to care that his daughter was in so much pain she could barely walk." Kate explained, stopping for a moment to collect her thoughts.

"What happened?" Jack finally asked.

"My appendix burst and it made me really sick. I collapsed on a school bus. Surely you've noticed the scar." She said softly.

"I have, but I guess it never occurred to me that there might a childhood trauma that went along with it. If it burst you were a pretty sick kid for awhile." He said.

"I was in the hospital for three weeks Jack and nobody cared. My mom showed up once to yell at me because of how much money I was costing her. They do awful, scary things to you in a hospital Jack and there was nobody there to make it less scary, nobody there to make sure I was getting something for the pain, nobody there to hold my hand when they were shoving tubes up my nose and big, painful needles into me and nobody there to help me get up, to help me to the bathroom, to help me dress and care whether or not I was allowed some dignity during those moments." Kate said sadly, her mind trapped in the memory so deeply that he could feel her trembling slightly.

"I'm sorry." He said, hugging her close and kissing her temple.

"I can't even begin to explain the absolute awe I felt for you that day you reprimanded that male nurse for traumatizing Michelle Adams. I would've given anything to have had just one doctor or nurse or hell even a candy striper care enough to notice that there was a 12 year old kid left completely alone in a hospital ward and that nobody gave a damn about her. So let's finish getting dressed Jack and get over there and make sure Maggie never knows what that feels like, not even for five minutes." Kate said and moved off of his lap.

He didn't argue with her, didn't coddle and didn't offer any pity because she didn't want or need any of that from him. She just needed to be involved and be allowed to be as involved as she wanted to be without him getting in her way. Her heart was in the right place and she wasn't doing it just for him, but for Maggie and for herself. Truth be told he was as eager to have her by his side through this as she was to be there,but he was so focused on trying to never place unfair expectations on her where Maggie was concerned that he would never allow himself to admit he needed her help as much as she needed to help.

They finished dressing, checked out and made their way back over to the hospital. Maggie was still in ICU and they spent the allowed 20 minutes with her, Kate talking to her while Jack checked all the different monitors as well as her chart. Maggie opened her eyes once for her dad, but was still very sleepy and for the most part unresponsive. Jack assured Kate that it was normal and that it could take a day or two to completely bring her around and then suggested they grab an early lunch so they could spend the rest of the day working on bringing Maggie around once they moved her to a room.

They walked to the restaurant where Kate once worked and where Jack had spent a great deal of time once he discovered the pretty brunette that he loved to talk to. They sat side by side in a booth sharing a club sandwich and fries, her deep in thought and him waiting patiently for her to talk about whatever she was thinking so hard about.

"When are you going back to work?" She finally asked.

"I don't know, I've got my schedule cleared until New Year's, but I'll have to make some decisions soon. If I'm going to be out of pocket for awhile I need to refer my patients to other doctors." He said.

"You should go back to work Jack when you feel like mentally you can accomplish that. I'll take care of Maggie when you can't be there." Kate offered.

"What about Lauren and the job at the copy place you were looking forward to?" He asked.

"You're sweet Jack, always tip-toeing around my feelings the way you do and always being careful to never suggest that your job is more important than mine, but let's be real. You're a world class surgeon and well, I'm not, but I can do everything in my power to make sure the world class surgeon stays focused and that my future stepdaughter is getting taken care of while her father works." Kate said making him smile, put his arm around her and kiss her.

"You're a world class woman Kate and if that is what you think is best and is how you want to handle this then I'm onboard, but only if you promise to let me take you out and pamper you on the days that Mike comes to help out." Jack said and kissed her again.

"How about if we agree to take some time to pamper each other on the days that Mike comes to help out?" Kate suggested and pulled him in for another kiss, a deep, passionate kiss that under normal circumstances would've led to them making love.

They broke the kiss and relaxed back into the booth, his arm still around her and her relaxed back into him, slowly finishing their food and enjoying the quiet intimacy of the moment, knowing that there probably wouldn't be very many more like it in the near future.


	44. Chapter 44

Three days after the tumor removal Maggie was up and alert and progressing wonderfully. The weakness on her right side was still present as the surgeon feared it would be, but he was hopeful that with a lot of physical therapy she'd be able to regain full use of both her arm and leg. Once she was moved into a room Jack never left her side, sleeping in the chair and eating whatever Kate would bring in and convince him to eat. Kate tried to get him to take a break, to go home at least long enough to shower and shave, but he wouldn't budge, having her bring him clean clothes and opting to shower in the surgeon's locker room. By the fourth day he was looking as exhausted as he had to be feeling and Kate decided it was time to put her foot down. With Maggie napping, she managed to convince him to take a walk with her. They stepped outside into the sunshine and he squinted against it.

"We should get back in there Kate, what if she wakes up?" Jack said and started to turn around, stopping when she grabbed his arm.

"Jack, you've got to take a break from Maggie. Go home, get some sleep in a bed. I promise I won't leave her." Kate pleaded with him.

"I'm fine Kate." He resisted.

"You aren't fine. You've got bags under your eyes and you haven't had a decent meal or a decent night's sleep in days. Go home Jack." She repeated in a much more demanding tone.

"If you want to go home, go home Kate, but I'm staying." He refused with a hint of anger.

"Why are you doing this Jack?" She asked.

"Doing what?!" He snapped.

"This! You can't keep it up! She isn't going to self-destruct if you aren't by her side for a few hours." Kate snapped back.

"No, but she'll cry for her mom and what am I supposed to tell her Kate?" He asked, his voice tired and sad at the same time.

"You tell her what you told her when she woke up, that her mom is sick, too sick to be here with her and then you let me stay with her while you take a break." Kate said.

"She doesn't understand that Kate and why would she, it's ridiculous, but as long as I'm there she doesn't ask for her." Jack insisted.

"You can't keep beating yourself up over Stacy. God, why does everything have to be your fault?! " Kate asked completely frustrated with him.

"Because it is my fault Kate." Jack said softly, stumbled and quickly found a bench to sit on.

"Jack, look at yourself. You're so tired you're falling down and no good to Maggie like this. Please go home or across the street to that hotel and get some sleep. I promise if she gets overly distraught I will call you." Kate pleaded with him.

He sat on the bench staring at the ground, dizzy and nauseated and knowing that she was right. Once the moment passed and the fuzziness in his head cleared he straightened up and looked at her, his eyes tired and guilty.

"You promise you'll call Kate? You won't let her feel scared or like I abandoned her?" He asked.

"Of course I won't and I promise I'll call you if she shows even a hint of feeling like you abandoned her." She said, squeezing his hand and smiling a reassuring smile at him.

She walked him to the car and he stopped, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her for a long time, pulling out of the kiss and holding her, his hands on her back and his face buried in her neck and hair.

"Are you okay?" She finally asked.

"Yeah, I just miss you, us." He said softly.

She could feel his body pressed into hers and could feel how weak and exhausted he was, both emotionally and physically.

"Jack, let's just walk over to the hotel. I'll worry about you driving in the shape you're in." She said.

He didn't argue with her, but instead let go of her enough to allow them to make the short walk to the hotel. They checked in and she rode up to the room with him and tucked him into the bed. She sat on the side of the bed, leaned in and kissed him deeply.

"I miss you too and I'd miss you terribly if you weren't around anymore because you died from exhaustion so promise me you'll stay in this bed and sleep." She said and kissed him again.

"I promise." He said softly, his brain and body ready to give in and shut down for awhile.

Maggie opened her eyes and immediately looked toward the chair where her father had been every time she woke up from one of her many daily naps, finding Kate sitting there this time and unsure of what that meant, but not ready to be upset about it either, yet.

"Where's my dad?" She asked.

"He's exhausted sweetie. I made him go across the street to the hotel and get some sleep, but we can call him if you need him." Kate told her in a calm, caring voice.

"Will you stay with me while he's gone?" Maggie asked.

"I will and your doctor said you could enjoy a real bath later if you feel up to it." Kate said and smiled at her.

"My dad is getting really tired of all this isn't he Kate?" Maggie asked.

"No Maggie, you're dad is just exhausted because he's trying to do too much. He's been so worried about you and it makes him feel better if he's here with you constantly making sure you're okay. He loves you more than his last breath, you know that right?" Kate asked.

"Yes. I try not to miss my mom so much because I can tell it makes him sad." Maggie said.

"And you think he's sad because he thinks you like her more than him?" Kate asked.

"Yeah and it's not true. I love my dad so much Kate." Maggie told her.

"I know you do sweetheart and so does he. It's okay to miss your mom and it doesn't make him sad because he thinks you like her more than him, it makes him sad because you are his little girl and he can't stand it when you're hurting. He's always going to be like that Maggie and even when you're 30, he's going to feel sad if he knows you are hurting over something." Kate explained.

"Do you think it makes my mom sad?" Maggie asked.

"I think you're mom isn't here with you Maggie, but that she never stops thinking about you." Kate told her.

"I don't think she does, I think she just thinks about herself. Maybe that's because she's sick and can't help it or maybe it's because she never really wanted me or maybe it's a little of both." Maggie said, shocking Kate into silence for a moment.

"Maggie." Kate finally said.

"It's okay Kate. I'm not a baby even though I act like one sometimes. I know my dad is just trying to protect me by telling me how sick my mom is, but I think that people, especially moms don't get that sick unless they were already thinking bad things about their kids." Maggie sighed.

"Honey, I don't think your mom thinks bad things about you and I think she does love you and that she always wanted you, but I think she's been confused about some other things for a really long time and that it's finally taking its toll on her." Kate objected.

"Is that what happened to your mom and dad? Did they always want you, but other stuff confused them?" Maggie asked.

"I don't know Maggie, maybe. I guess I never thought about it that way." Kate admitted.

"Do you think my dad has confusing stuff?" Maggie asked.

"No, I don't think he does. Do you?" Kate asked.

"I don't think anything confuses my dad." Maggie huffed, making Kate laugh lightly.

"I think there are probably one or two things that confuse your dad sweetheart, but you aren't one of those things and never will be." Kate said confidently.

"I'm glad he's resting and I'm glad he's going to marry you, you're really nice Kate." Maggie said.

"Thank you Maggie, it means a lot to me because I don't ever want to make you sad or make you feel like I'm taking your dad away from you. I happen to think you're a pretty great kid and I just want to be your friend." Kate said.

"I think after the mean stuff I said to you that you must be a really nice person if you still want me to be your friend." Maggie said.

"Aw, you weren't so mean. So what do you say? Want me to run down to the gift shop and find some bath oils so you can enjoy a nice, hot bubble bath?" Kate asked.

Maggie spent another week in the hospital and was released. She'd have to be brought back for her scheduled radiation treatments, her chemo and her rehab, but she could spend every night in her own bed. Kate took on the responsibility for getting Maggie to and from the hospital for her treatments and Jack went back to work. By the third week of radiation and chemo treatments Maggie was too sick and weak for rehab and spent most of her time in bed. Kate stayed with her hour after hour, reading to her, watching DVDs with her, watching her sleep, holding her head while she vomited and doing anything she could to make things a little less unpleasant for the child. Jack would come home in the evening and take Kate's place, usually ending up spending the night with the child snuggled in close to him. She was tough and brave and complained very little which made her struggle that much more heart-wrenching to watch.

By mid-February Maggie was down to two chemo treatments a week and completely done with the radiation treatments. The sores in her mouth from the radiation were close to being healed and she was beginning to regain some of her strength. Jack came through the door on a Friday evening ready to relieve Kate for the night, tired and a little grumpy and not expecting to find Mike sitting in his living room.

"Hey." Jack said, kissing Kate quickly.

"Hey." She said, kissing him back and allowing it to linger for a moment.

What's he doing here?" Jack asked and nodded toward the living room.

"He's here to help." Kate said.

"Yeah, where the hell has he been for the last 7 weeks?" Jack spat angrily.

"Jack, don't be like that." Kate sighed.

Jack ignored her and walked into the living room. Mike stood and Jack motioned for him to sit back down.

"Want a beer?" Jack asked.

"No thank you." Mike answered.

"Me either. How's Maggie? Is she up?" Jack asked Kate.

"She fell asleep about 15 minutes ago. She had a pretty tough time with the treatment today." Kate said.

"I need a shower." Jack grumbled and began removing his tie.

"Jack, I'm sorry I haven't been around, but I thought it would be better for Maggie if I stayed away." Mike said.

"Why would you think that?" Jack asked.

"I talked with her that first week after her surgery and she talked about her mom, about how she feels about that situation, but she mostly talked about you and about Kate and it was as happy and positive as that little girl has sounded about anything since Stacy took her away and married Bill. I thought it would be best if I butted out and let the three of you be a family." Mike said, making Jack feel ashamed for assuming Mike had just bailed on Maggie.

"I appreciate that Mike, but it wasn't necessary." Jack said.

"No Jack it was. Maggie needed to not be confused about where she belongs, especially while she's going through something so difficult." Mike said.

"Okay, um…thanks. I'm glad you finally decided to come see her." Jack said.

"Actually she decided that for me. She's called me three times this week insisting that I come stay with her so you and Kate can have a break and she wouldn't take no for an answer." Mike said.

Jack looked at Kate and she shrugged.

"I don't know anything about it Jack. She just told me today that he was coming." Kate said.

"You're welcome to stay Mike, but we don't need a break." Jack said.

"That's up to you of course, but if you decide you'd like an evening to yourselves I'm here until Sunday." Mike said.

Jack excused himself and showered. He peeked in on Maggie and she was still asleep so he joined Kate and Mike in the dining room and they enjoyed a quiet meal together. Jack looked like a man who'd been working long days and spending his nights with a sick child and Kate looked like a woman who'd been spending day after day with a sick child and spending her nights keeping the house running. They both looked like they were hanging by a thread and Mike could see why Maggie had insisted he come and give them a break.

"Look at you two, Maggie is right, you need a break." Mike said.

Jack looked up at him and then over to Kate. She was pale and thin and obviously exhausted and he immediately felt bad for telling Mike they didn't need a break without considering her feelings on the matter. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, speaking quietly to her.

"Do you need a break babe?" He asked.

"It doesn't matter Jack. I'm not really hungry though. I think I'm going to go lay down while she's sleeping." Kate said and left the table.

"She needs a break Jack even if you don't." Mike said.

"Yeah, I see that now. I've been so consumed with Maggie that I hadn't noticed what it's doing to Kate." Jack sighed.

"Apparently you haven't noticed what it's doing to you either. You look like shit man." Mike said.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired." Jack said.

"So take tomorrow and tomorrow night and just go some place and sleep. Get away from it for 24 hours Jack." Mike insisted.

"She's pretty sick Mike, are you sure you can handle it?" Jack asked.

"I can handle it Jack, can you handle letting go for one day?" Mike asked.

"I think I'm going to have to. I'm not only neglecting my relationship with Kate, I'm neglecting Kate." He said remorsefully.

The two men finished their dinner and Jack excused himself to check on Kate. She was asleep so he covered her and closed the door to their bedroom so she'd rest. He walked down the hall and peeked into Maggie's room again. She was awake and smiled when she saw him. He smiled and entered the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning in and kissing her the forehead.

"I hear you had a tough day." Jack said softly.

"Yeah, but I feel better now. It'll be over soon right?" She asked.

"Six more treatments baby and then we can focus on fattening you up and strengthening your leg and arm." He said sweetly.

"And my hair, it will start growing right?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, your hair will grow back, but I kind of like all the different scarves and hats, I think I'll miss them." He said and smiled at her.

"Yeah, Kate found this really cool website and we order a new one every few days. It's fun picking them out." Maggie said.

"You've been a really good sport through all of this Maggie, so tough and never complaining. I'm proud of you." Jack told her and kissed her forehead again.

"I complain when I throw up. I really hate that part." Maggie told him.

"I imagine it's pretty awful, but you've been so brave it's hard to tell how awful. I'm sorry you had to go through this." Jack said sadly, his eyes filling with tears.

"Don't be sad daddy, I'm not. I'm going to get well and Kate said when I get stronger she'll work with me to fix my leg and arm as much as I want her to." Maggie told him.

"You really like Kate don't you?" Jack asked in a happier tone.

"I love her dad, she's the nicest person in the world and she takes such good care of me. That's why I called Mike. She's tired daddy and she's sick and she needs you to take care of her and just her for a couple of days." Maggie told him, the last part concerning him.

"What do you mean she's sick?" Jack asked.

"She throws up a lot and the other day she fainted while I was getting my treatment. She made those nurses promise not to say anything to you, but she's not getting better dad so I decided if I could get Mike to come stay, I could tell you so you guys could take a break and she'd start feeling better." Maggie told him proudly.

"I think Kate is lucky she's got such a clever spy making sure she doesn't wear herself out." Jack told her, tweaking her nose between his knuckles and smiling at her.

"Does that mean you'll take a break and let Mike stay with me?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, but only if you promise me that you are really okay with this and that you will call us if you change your mind." Jack said.

"I promise, but I won't change my mind. Just take care of her dad and don't worry about me." Maggie said.

"How about I worry about both of you. Want to go out to the living room and see Mike or would you rather he came in here?" Jack asked.

"I want to go out there." She said.

Jack carried Maggie out to the couch, made her comfortable and excused himself so he could run an errand. When he returned Mike and Maggie were watching a movie together. Mike assured Jack he could handle things and Jack joined Kate in the bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and slipped under the covers causing Kate to bolt upright and look around.

"What's going on? Where's Maggie?" Kate asked in a panicked tone.

"Shh, she's fine, Mike's with her. Come on, lay down, go back to sleep." Jack coaxed in a soft, gentle tone.

Kate snuggled in next to him and was sound asleep again within seconds of getting comfortable. He hugged her with the arm that was wrapped around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I've been neglecting you and I'm sorry." He whispered, kissed her once more and went to sleep.


	45. Chapter 45

She opened her eyes and then closed them again, rubbing her cheek against his chest and taking a deep breath, taking in his scent, a scent that had become unfamiliar to her over the past few weeks. They'd both been so absorbed with Maggie that their sex life had become non-existent, both too physically exhausted to initiate on the rare occasion they actually ended up sleeping together in the same bed. She opened her eyes again, not sure what time it was, but pretty sure it had to be after midnight. She felt rested and a little hungry, but mostly she felt aroused, lying next to him and slowly twirling her fingers through the hair on his stomach making her crotch ache for him.

She placed a few light kisses on his chest and worked her way up to his neck, nibbling lightly until she felt him stir. She closed her mouth over his and kissed him longingly, him finally waking up enough to respond and kiss her back. She pulled out of the kiss and he reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on, squinting against the light for a moment and then smiling a sleepy, sexy smile at her.

"Hey stranger." She said in a sexy tone.

"Hey yourself." He said, rolling her onto her back and kissing her some more.

They didn't speak again, both awake and hungry for each other. He made quick work of the t-shirt and lounge pants she was wearing and then slowed down, taking her panties off of her slowly while two of his fingers traced an imaginary line down the center of her chest and stomach, stopping at the bikini line and then working her panties all the way off of her. She opened up for him and he positioned himself between her legs, pushing his boxers down and then closing his eyes while she wrapped her hand around his length and pumped him slowly.

He pulled her hand away and opened his eyes, looking at her with the hunger of a wolf and the love of a man who at the moment had nothing else in his life that mattered more to him. He dropped his head and placed soft kisses over her stomach and chest, taking each nipple into his mouth and groaning at the feel of her hips bucking up toward him and making contact with his hard, swollen member. He continued to smother her upper body with kisses and finally found her mouth, the tip of his tongue grazing her lips gently before they both opened up and swallowed one another, kissing each other with an intense hunger while she put him into position, feeling him push inside of her in one slow, lingering thrust and moaning loudly into his mouth.

She pulled away from his mouth, wrapped her arms around him and let her chin rest on his shoulder, forcing him to stay close and love her slowly and getting no complaints from him. She could feel him driving himself into her slowly and pulling back slowly and she could feel herself becoming emotional at the intimacy of the moment.

"I've missed you so much Jack." She whispered in his ear, followed by heavy panting and light biting on his neck and shoulder as she came.

When she finished he pulled away and out of her, encouraging her onto her side and wrapping his entire body around her from behind, lifting her leg and re-entering her, one arm and hand wrapped securely around her and the other hand between her legs, gently massaging her as he continued to thrust in and out of her, his hot breath on her neck, the heat from their bodies creating a light glaze of sweat where their bodies were touching, his pace quickening some and then slowing back down, both of them climaxing and then stilling, neither moving for a long while.

"I've missed you too." He whispered.

She felt him loosen his grip on her and slip out of her. She turned onto her other side. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't sleeping. She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him softly and he opened his eyes.

"Let's not go that long without making love again if we can help it." She said.

"We're taking Mike up on his offer and escaping for a day or so." He said and kissed her, rolling onto his back and switching the lamp off.

"It's okay Jack, we don't have to do that." She told him and snuggled up next to him again.

"Yes we do. It's two o'clock in the morning Kate, let's go back to sleep. We're leaving around eight." He told her, leaving no room for argument.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

" Malibu . I've got a friend who runs a hotel/spa there. Massages, therapeutic soaks and whatever else I can find to pamper you with." He said.

"Please tell me this isn't another friend you used to date." She groaned making him laugh lightly.

"No, he's kind of cute, but not really my type. Get some sleep babe. I love you." He told her and wrapped a protective arm around her.

He lay quietly and listen to her breathe, tired, but his mind too busy to find sleep again. He'd been careless and was relatively certain Kate was pregnant due to his carelessness. He'd been so wrapped up in taking care of Kate's burns, convincing Kate to move in with him and dealing with his daughter's issues that it never occurred to him to consider that the heavy doses of antibiotics he'd prescribed to Kate would lower the effectiveness of her birth control medication.

He wasn't sure how he felt about them having a baby so quickly, but he wasn't unhappy about it. He was more concerned with Kate and what must be going through her mind. Did she know and just wasn't telling him or had it not occurred to her yet that she might be pregnant. If she suspected was she happy, was she scared, was she contemplating terminating it? He considered that she might not be pregnant, but might be ill, but then quickly stopped himself from going there. The truth was he had no idea what was going on with Kate because he hadn't been paying any attention to her or her needs. That was about to change though. His mind wrestled with the questions for about another hour and he finally went back to sleep.

He awoke around six to the sound of water running in the bathroom, along with the sounds of her vomiting. He moved off the bed, slipped his boxers on and retrieved the small package he'd purchased the night before. He walked to the bathroom door and knocked lightly.

"Kate, are you okay?" He asked.

There was no answer. He heard the toilet flush and the water shut off and then the sound of her unlocking the door.

"Morning." She mumbled and attempted to walk past him.

"Hang on a second." He said as he took hold of her arm gently and stopped her.

"I need to lay down Jack." She said desperately and broke away from him.

He watched her walk to the bed, lie on her side and curl her body up into a tight ball. He approached the bed and sat beside her, gently brushing the hair away from her face and pushing it behind her ear.

"Feeling a little better?" He asked softly.

"I'm okay, I just need to lie still for a minute." She said, eyes closed and apparently focused hard on trying not to be sick again.

"Does it last throughout the day or does it come in waves?" He asked.

"What? Jack please I don't feel like talking right now." She groaned.

"I bought this last night." He said softly and pulled the item out of the plastic bag.

"Bought what?" She asked and opened her eyes, seeing the pregnancy test he was holding up in front of her and rolling onto her other side, not wanting to look at him or it.

"Kate." He sighed heavily.

"I don't need that Jack. I'm not pregnant. Leave me alone." She said and pulled the blanket up over her head, making him chuckle lightly.

"Maggie told me that you've been sick and about you fainting. I know we didn't plan this Kate, but I think you are pregnant." He said in his kindest voice as he pulled the blanket away from her head.

"No, I can't be. I've never missed a single pill." She continued to argue with him.

He explained his oversight with the antibiotics and she sheepishly admitted that she too knew that somewhere in the back of her mind, but hadn't considered it because of everything else that was going on at the time.

"Come on Kate, go take the test so we can know for sure. If you're not pregnant you need to see a doctor because something else is wrong." He said.

"I don't want to know." She said and began crying.

He set the pregnancy test down, crawled over her and lay down beside her, eventually pulling her into his chest and allowing her to cry until she felt like she didn't need to cry anymore.

"Talk to me Kate. I know it's a bit of surprise, but why all the tears?" He asked.

"You didn't want this Jack. You wanted to do it right this time." She said.

"Kate, what……" He started to ask, but then remembered their conversation about whether or not he wanted another child.

He sat up, pulling her up with him, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her softly before letting his hands move down to arms, holding onto her at the top of her arms and lowering his head so that they were face to face.

"I said that I wanted to be in love with the baby's mother and I am. You already agreed to marry me so you can't be afraid that a baby is what made me ask. What else is there?" He asked.

"Nothing else, it was supposed to be planned is all because that was important to you and now here you are again facing another unplanned pregnancy." Kate told him.

"Kate, I'm fully aware that there is a chance of pregnancy every time we have sex regardless of how careful or careless we are. You didn't get pregnant all by yourself you know and while I appreciate that you are concerned about my feelings, it makes me kind of sad that you think I would make this all about me." He told her.

"I know you wouldn't do that Jack, that's why I'm making it all about you and your feelings. You've earned the right to be selfish." She said.

"Why would you say that? I'm the one that dragged all the baggage into this relationship and you're the one who has risen to every single challenge. So what if you got scared in the beginning and tried to run a couple of times, when all the chips were down you didn't run and you've taken on this huge responsibility with Maggie and you never complain, when you have every right to. Hell, if anyone has earned the right to be selfish it's you Kate, not me." Jack argued.

"Why would I complain?" She asked.

"Because you never just get to enjoy life anymore, because you've been thrust into this nursemaid role and because the man you agreed to marry doesn't see you very much anymore, neglects you and prior to last night can't remember the last time he made love to you. Me being careless and getting you pregnant on top of everything else is just the icing on the "Jack taking Kate for Granted" cake and if you wanted to complain, I'd gladly listen." Jack said.

"Okay Jack I think we're both exhausted and being over-emotional. You do not take me for granted and if you think for one second that I see my life with you, in such a negative way then we really do need to get away and reconnect. I love you and I can't think of anything in my life that has been more fulfilling than being here to help that brave little girl through this difficult time. Sure she gets a little bit of an attitude some days and on other days she gets so frustrated with being sick that she uses me as a punching bag, but we also have fun and we laugh together and cry together and we're building a relationship and I'd miss her terribly if she weren't around so hopefully she is always going to be a part of the life that you and I are building together." Kate told him, leaning forward and hugging him, feeling his strong arms wrap around her and all the love he had for her coming through loud and clear.

"I'm not feeling nauseous anymore so if you let go of me, I'll go end the suspense for both of us." She told him.

She disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes and rejoined him on the bed with the stick in her hand. They sat together, him leaning against the headboard with his arm around her and her relaxed into him, the back of her head resting on his upper chest and watched the bright blue plus sign appear. He stared at it or through it for a long time, allowing the reality to completely sink in while she chewed nervously on her bottom lip, scared and excited at the same time.

"You okay?" He finally spoke up.

"Yeah, you?" She answered.

"That depends." He said.

"On what?" She asked.

"On how you feel about this and that you know that you can be honest with me regardless of your feelings on the matter. You'll tell me if you don't want this baby won't you?" He asked.

She sat up, turned and crawled into his lap, straddling him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him on the mouth.

"I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment, but I can't imagine not wanting your baby Jack. What about you? Are you sure you're okay with this, maybe even a little happy?" She asked.

"I'm happy. I'm trying to absorb it, trying to imagine what she's going to look like." He said, his tone one of a man who was at the moment feeling very content and it made her smile.

"But you're not trying to imagine what he's going to look like?" She teased.

"No, not yet, right now I'm enjoying imagining a world where I have three beautiful women to come home to every day." He told her and kissed her softly.

"Yeah, so what's that like?" She asked.

"Happy Kate, it's really happy, for all of us." He said, wrapping his arms around her and laying her back onto the mattress.


	46. Chapter 46

He thrust into her one final time, the combination of her walls clamping around him, her hands holding tightly to his ass, her hot, wet mouth latched onto the side of his neck and the feeling of his own release coming close to being a sensory overload. He panted and grunted and closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel all of it that he could and then finally allowed himself to relax onto his folded arms, his mind and his body numb and ready to sleep. He could feel her soft fingers gliding slowly over his back, tracing delicate circles over his heated flesh and he lay still for awhile longer, enjoying the feel of her delicate hands on him.

"Jack, are you okay?" She asked.

He raised his head and looked at her.

"I'm great." He said, smiling at her and kissing her before moving off of her.

"It's 7:45, I don't think we're going to make it out of here by eight." She said.

"No, but we can shoot for nine. Are you feeling okay? Want to take a shower with me?" He asked.

"Will you wash my hair?" She asked.

"I'll wash whatever you want me to wash." He said.

They showered, drank coffee and spent a little time with Maggie and left around 9:30. It was about a 40 minute drive, but he had to stop twice so Kate could be sick so it took them a little over an hour to get to the hotel/spa. Kate looked at the magnificent looking structure and wondered what a place like this must cost if you don't have friend running it. They entered their suite and she immediately walked toward the double doors that led to the patio, opened them and took in the beautiful view. The entire balcony-like structure was a garden that allowed for privacy without obstructing the view of the ocean. It was easily one of the most breathtaking sights she'd ever had the pleasure of experiencing. She felt him behind her, followed quickly by his arms wrapping around her waist.

"My god Jack, I've never seen anything so beautiful, not to mention romantic." She said.

"It is pretty magnificent isn't it and it's pretty much the same from every suite." He said.

"You've stayed here before?" She asked, the twinge of jealousy in her voice not going unnoticed by him.

"I have, alone, a few months after my father died. By the way, you're pretty cute too when you're jealous." He teased.

"I'm sorry, that must've been a difficult time for you." She said.

"It's fine Kate. He had affairs around here that needed to be tied up so my good buddy Mark offered to let me stay here while I handled it." He said, turning her around so he could look at her.

"You look really tired babe." He said and pulled her into him, hugging her close and rubbing his hands over her back.

"I could sleep." She said.

"Then let's go lie down for awhile." He said and led her back into the suite toward the bedroom.

"Jack, this place is beautiful and we're just supposed to sleep?" She argued.

"We're supposed to do whatever we want Kate." He said, letting go of her and watching her tiredly crawl onto the bed.

He sat on the side of the bed and rubbed his hand gently over her back.

"Take your clothes off." He said softly.

"Jack, I think that's as demanding as I've ever known you to be." She giggled.

"Cute." He said, stood and began removing his clothes.

She moved off of the bed and began removing her clothes, taking everything off but her panties. He stripped down to his boxers and they met in the center of the bed. She snuggled up next to him and kissed him.

"Thank you for bringing me here Jack and for handling this whole pregnancy thing so well. I told you you were a prince." She said and laid her head on his chest.

"I'm not a prince Kate, I just love you. Get some rest and if you're feeling better we'll go sit in that tub out there and share a celebratory toast in front of that beautiful view and some day we can tell her about the day we found out about her." He said softly and so sweetly and with so much sincerity she was certain her heart exploded.

She could feel the soft mattress below her, her body warm and snuggled comfortably under the heavy comforter. She was lying on her stomach and she realized almost immediately that she was alone in the bed and rolled onto her back, seeing him seated on the small sofa across the room and smiling.

"Hey." She said softly causing him to look in her direction.

He stood and walked over to the bed, sitting beside her and smiling at her.

"You've got entirely too many clothes on Jack." She teased.

"I guess you're feeling better." He chuckled lightly.

"I am, but I went to sleep with a warm, naked man and woke up alone." She pretended to pout.

"Sorry babe, after two hours of sleep I was wide awake." He said.

"How long have I been asleep?" She asked.

"Close to five hours. I feel bad that you were that exhausted. Maybe we should think about getting some help until Maggie is back on her feet." He said.

"No way Jack, we're almost at the end of this nightmare." She said.

"Kate." He argued.

"No Jack, we aren't going to bring some stranger in to help with Maggie. We're going to have to tell her about this baby and I don't think springing that on her and then brushing her off would be considered good parenting." She refused in her end of discussion tone.

"You're going to be a great mom, this baby is lucky." He said and leaned in and kissed her.

"He's going to have a pretty great dad too so you're right, he's lucky." She said.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"Hungry for you." She said in sexy tone and pulled him in for another kiss.

He kissed her deeply, felt her hands unbuttoning his jeans and pulled back.

"Sorry babe, but you haven't eaten since those two bites you took at dinner last night and you look so thin and tired and pale and you know I can't enjoy sex when I'm worried about you and right now, I'm concerned." Jack told her regretfully.

"Jack, I'm fine." She groaned, somewhat irritated with his mother-hen routine.

"You aren't fine. You're exhausted and malnourished and I plan on making sure you're getting plenty of rest while I'm fattening you up." He told her.

"We're in this beautiful place and you really aren't going to make love to me?" She pouted, but this time it wasn't of the fake variety. He leaned in a kissed her softly.

"Hey, don't do that, you know I have no resistance for that. Of course I'm going to make love to you, hopefully more than once, but not right this minute. Come on humor me Kate. Get up, eat something so I'll know you're not wasting away and then we'll do whatever you want. I promise." He said.

She met him halfway and they sat together in the bed and looked through the room service menu, and ordered a couple of meals. She used the hour it took for the food to arrive to peel his clothes off of him and convince him that she hadn't all of sudden become a delicate little porcelain doll that was going to break and they enjoyed an incredibly passionate and completely uninhibited round of love-making where they took turns battling for the dominant position and where making too much noise wasn't an issue.

He lay on his back, forearm resting over his eyes, his breathing labored and his body covered with sweat, having just moved off of her and unable to do much more than lie still and try to recharge before he'd be expected to move and answer the door. She scooted herself onto him, kissing lightly around his neck and jaw-line.

"You going to make it there stud or should I call the paramedics?" She teased.

"No, if I'm going to die, just let me because I can't think of a better way to go." He told her, moving his arm from over his eyes and wrapping it around her.

She laid her head on the left side of his chest, enjoying the sound and the feel of his rapidly beating heart as it began to find it's normal rhythm along with his breathing.

"I've never loved anyone like I love you. Does the baby have a heartbeat yet?" She asked as she continued to listen to his heartbeat.

"You're probably about 8 or 9 weeks along so yeah, definitely. You should be able to hear it when you go to the doctor, which will be one day next week right?" He asked even though she knew it was more of a statement than a question.

"I'll call for an appointment first thing Monday, I promise. You're coming with me right?" She asked.

"Sure, if you want me to." He said.

"I want you there for every minute of this Jack." She said.

"Good, because I don't want to miss a thing." He said and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

They ate their food and settled into the garden tub, the hot steamy water and fragrances relaxing them completely as they sat side by side, sipping champagne and watching the sun set into the ocean, the moment beautiful and perfect. She handed him her champagne glass and snuggled into him, feeling his arm drape around her and so grateful for Mike at the moment she felt like if their baby was a boy she might have to name him Michael. She moved her hand over his stomach and felt it brush gently against his penis, considering straddling him and then deciding that some of the most perfect intimate moments don't include sex and that this was definitely one of them.

As she lay below him, his body slowly thrusting into hers, she remembered how he'd helped her out of the tub and gently wrapped the large over-sized, warm robe around her before covering his own wet, chilled body and walking them both back into the suite. They sat on the large overstuffed couch in the living area and watched a little television, him initiating and kissing her while slowly getting her naked again. Was there a limit to how much of this man she could want? If there was she hadn't reached that limit yet. There was something about the knowledge that she was carrying their child that seemed to bring them closer. Neither had believed they could reach a deeper level of closeness than what they'd already achieved, yet here they were, experiencing it and feeling overwhelmed by it.

He'd laid her back on the couch and slowly worked his mouth over every inch of her body, burying his face between her legs and staying there until the familiar cries of ecstasy filled the room and when she immediately sat up and pushed him onto his back he didn't protest, what man in his right mind would. He simply relaxed and allowed her to pleasure him until he couldn't take it anymore, encouraging her to come up off him and wrapping them up in a deep, passionate kiss while he moved them from the couch to the bed.

When he pushed into her she let go of a loud breathy moan and he stopped, always the considerate gentleman who needed to know that his lover was okay and enjoying the act before he'd continue. It was a routine that neither even had to verbalize anymore, one they could communicate through their eyes and through the smile they'd both give to one another right before they'd lock their mouths together and find their rhythm.

She could feel him now, thrusting deep inside of her, hard and hot and close to releasing, his muscles taught as she held tightly to his arms, forcing him to look into her eyes as he reached for release, feeling his body still while simultaneously his eyes closed and his head tilted back and a look of absolute bliss covered his face as he released inside of her. She was so caught up in the memory and in watching him come that she'd lost the concentration needed to come with him. He opened his eyes and looked at her, greeted with loving eyes and a beautiful smile that melted his heart every time. She could see the look in his eyes. It was a look that almost resembled shame.

"I don't always have to come at the end you know." She said and kissed him.

"No, but I feel like I didn't do something right when you don't." He said softly and kissed her back.

"You always do it right Jack. I was too busy watching you enjoy sweet release to care about my own. Besides, how many times do I need to be satisfied before you're satisfied?" She asked sweetly.

"Twenty would be kind of awesome." He chuckled and moved off of her and she crawled over the top of him, placing a finger lightly to his bottom lip.

"Jack if I ever had 20 orgasms during one love-making session, I'd die. The two that I had nearly wore me out." She told him and nipped lightly at his bottom lip.

"You're awesome, every time. I love you.......a lot." He said and smiled at her, knowing he was allowing the "stupid guy" within him to seep out and attempting to make her forget that he went there.

"Yeah, how much?" She asked.

"This much." He said and spread his arms as wide as he could.

"Okay, then I'll forget you were acting like 'such a guy' there for a moment." She giggled and then kissed him passionately.

They awoke the next morning and she battled with the morning sickness for a few hours before her stomach settled enough for her to shower, dress and enjoy some hot tea and dry toast in a restaurant a couple of miles from the resort. She'd assumed they were on their way home, but when he'd exited the freeway just a few miles into the trip and insisted she try to eat she guessed he had other plans.

"So where are we going Jack?" She asked as she nibbled on her toast.

"That depends on how well you hold down that tea and toast." He said.

"I'll be fine." She said.

"We're going to Thousand Oaks, it's about 20 miles from here." He said.

"What's in Thousand Oaks?" She asked.

"You'll see." He said.

They ate their breakfast or brunch, sat for a few minutes to make sure she was going to keep it down and then made the drive to Thousand Oaks. She was quiet the entire way, enjoying looking at all of the large beautiful homes and buildings along the way. He pulled the car into the driveway of a beautiful home in a very affluent neighborhood and shut the engine off. He walked around to her side of the car, opened her door for her and offered her his hand. They stood in the driveway looking at the large structure.

"Who lives here?" She asked.

"Well, nobody right now, but we could, if you like it." He said

"What?!" Was all she could manage.

"Come inside, look around, see what you think." He said and led her to the front porch and then into the house.

She stood in the large foyer and looked at the wide, open space before her.

"You own this?" She asked incredulously, knowing he made a good living, but never dreaming he made this good of a living.

"My father left it to me. It's too big for just me so it's just kind of been sitting empty the last couple of years while I figured out what I wanted to do with it." Jack explained.

"You grew up here? It doesn't look that old, not that you're old, but…" She stammered making him chuckle lightly.

"No, I grew up just outside of Los Angles. This is the home he and my mother were building when she died. He went ahead and let the builder finish it however he saw fit to finish it. It's about 6 years old, it's paid for and nobody has ever lived in it. I just pay to keep it maintained because, well look at it, why would I sell it, especially in today's market." Jack said.

"It's beautiful Jack, but wouldn't it be hard for you to live here?" Kate asked.

"No, not at all, it's not like it's got my mother's personal touches that she never got to enjoy. It was still in the framing stages when she died and the builder just finished it using his own ideas since my dad wouldn't offer any of his own." Jack said.

"But it was their dream home." Kate objected.

"No, it really wasn't. She wanted out of Los Angeles and he was trying to keep the peace. Their dream home was this cottage they owned in the English countryside. That's where they were when she died. What do you think Kate? Could you be happy here?" He asked.

"Could I be happy here? Jack it's beautiful. What woman wouldn't be happy here, but isn't it too far away from the hospital?" She asked.

"It's only about 40 miles from here to LA and it's a great place to raise kids, good schools, good community. It'd be a great place for Maggie to make a fresh start and for us to start a life together. What do you think?" He asked.

"What if Stacy isn't too keen on the idea of Maggie making a fresh start with us Jack?" Kate asked.

"Then I'll take her to court and gain full custody." Jack said stubbornly, not willing to consider that Stacy might become an issue down the road, at least not today while he's happy and trying to surprise the woman he loves.

"Jack, I'd be happy anywhere with you. You know that right?" She asked.

"Of course, but we're quickly becoming a family, an expanding one and the condo isn't the place for families. Look, we could set up all kinds of mats and workout equipment for Maggie's physical therapy in here." Jack said as he led her to a large open room in the back of the house.

"You've obviously been thinking a lot about this. So where's the nursery going to be?" She asked and smiled at him.

He pulled her in for a deep, loving kiss, both of them standing in the middle of the large empty house holding one another, happy and excited about the future.


	47. Chapter 47

He entered the home, his home, their home and dropped his brief case in the office just inside the entry to the home. He was home earlier than usual, hoping to take them out to dinner, spend some time with Maggie and then have some quiet and hopefully romantic time with Kate. He could hear voices coming from the back of the house and moved toward them.

"I'm done! I told you I don't want to do this!" Maggie yelled.

"Please don't raise your voice to me Maggie. Come on, just a few more minutes." Kate encouraged her.

"No! I want my dad!" Maggie demanded just as Jack stepped into the room.

"Dad's right here, what's going on?" Jack asked, leaning over to kiss Kate on the mouth and Maggie on the temple.

"Nothing, she's just a little cranky today." Kate sighed and stood.

"Shut up Kate!" Maggie snapped.

"That's enough Maggie. Apologize." Jack said sternly and squatted down to Maggie's level.

"I'm sorry Kate. I hate this dad. I'm tired of it. I'm never going to get better and everything sucks. You should just enjoy your new baby and forget about me." She said sadly.

"We're going out for dinner. Go change your clothes and you can pick the restaurant. Okay?" He offered, choosing not to indulge the pity party she was currently having by responding to any part of her rant.

"I'm tired daddy, will you carry me to my bedroom?" She asked.

The physician in him knew he shouldn't give into her whines, but the father in him could tell she needed to be babied a bit for whatever reason so he picked her up and carried her to her bedroom so she could change her clothes and get ready to go out. It was late April and Maggie had been through the worst of her ordeal, the physical therapy the only thing left and she was expected to make a full recovery, but it would take time to regain full use of her arm and leg. She was jealous over the new baby, missing her mother terribly and she frustrated easily. Kate had attempted to home school her so that she could start 7th grade in the fall, but Maggie while having been very brave through the whole ordeal, was also still only 12 and starting to experience the emotional affects not only of her illness, but of all the changes happening in her father's life, changes that left her feeling unsure of where she belonged and resentful toward Kate so the attempt to educate her failed miserably.

He sat beside her on the bed and put a comforting arm around her.

"Tough day kiddo?" He asked.

"I tried to talk to mom today." She said sadly.

"You called her?" He asked.

"Yeah." She answered softly and a tear slipped down her cheek.

"I guess it didn't go well." Jack said, hugging her close and kissing the top of her head.

"She's not coming to see me ever again dad, I know it. She doesn't even have five minutes to talk to me. I don't want to go to dinner. I don't want to be at your wedding and I don't want to be anyone's big sister." Maggie told him her voice angry.

"I'm sorry about your mom sweetheart, want me to call her?" Jack asked.

"She's not going to suddenly want to be my mom again just because you scream at her. I haven't seen her since I had my operation and all you ever do anymore is yell at her. I hate this dad. I want us all to go back to the way things were." She complained.

"That's not going to happen Maggie and none of this is Kate's fault and it's certainly not the baby's fault. You can be mad at your mom and me as much you need to be, because you have every right to be angry with us, but Kate has been nothing but kind to you and I don't want you giving her a hard time. Now get dressed. You are going to dinner and you are going to be at the wedding and you are going to be a big sister." He said softly, but firmly.

"I feel angry dad, but not at you, just at everything." She said.

"I know and I understand that. I just don't want you to direct that anger at Kate or the baby." He said.

"I'm sorry. I love Kate and I don't want to make her sad. Do I still get to go with you guys for the ultrasound next week?" She asked.

"Do you still want to?" He asked.

"Yeah, it sounds cool. Do I have to act excited if it's a brother?" She groaned making him laugh lightly.

"Yes." He said.

"Dad, will you promise me something?" She asked.

"Anything." He said.

"You're real busy at work and you have Kate and your new baby and I know that you say it's all okay because you have enough time and love for all of us, but I'm still scared. Promise you won't get sick of me too okay." She said.

"Baby, your mom didn't get sick of you." Jack argued.

"Yes she did, a long time ago. I'm not a baby and I'm not stupid and you don't have to keep saying she's sick and she doesn't mean it because she does mean it dad and it really, really sucks okay." She said angrily her eyes full of tears.

He hugged her tightly, kissing the side of her head and rubbing her back.

"You're right it does suck and I am so sorry. I'd do anything to take all that hurt away Maggie, but I can't. I can however promise you that I love you and that there is nothing in this world that could ever make me get sick of you. I love having you here with us and I hope that it will get easier for you as time goes on." He said.

"I like it here daddy, please don't think I don't. I just needed my mom today." She said sadly.

"Why? Did something happen?" He asked.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. Do I need to dress nice or are jeans okay?" She asked.

"That's up to you kiddo. Are we going to a jeans restaurant or a dressy restaurant?" He asked and smiled at her, wondering what event had triggered the more desperate than usual need for her mother, but deciding not to push her.

"Jeans." She said and smiled back.

She slipped off the bed, steadied herself, hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you daddy, more than anything." She said and slowly walked toward her closet.

He watched her walk, noticing that she really was doing much better, steady and stronger and not dragging her foot any longer.

"Dad you're being a doctor. Stop it." Maggie huffed and disappeared into the closet, making him laugh lightly and leave the room.

They enjoyed a quiet dinner as a family and Maggie's mood improved as the evening wore on. Jack spent some time playing video games with her when they returned home, her trying to match all the guitar notes with the small guitar placed in her bad arm and hand the most useful therapy they'd found and one she didn't bore with and complain about. Kate disappeared into the master bedroom to enjoy a nice, long, hot bubble bath, leaving the door open so she could hear them, the sound of their combined laughter always something that made her smile.

She'd grown to love and care about Maggie very much in the months she'd been living with her and caring for her and watching her struggle not only with her illness, but with the idea that her mother had abandoned her. She was so obviously Jack's child and every bit as beautiful on the inside as he was and it broke her heart to see how deeply Stacy's actions were hurting her, but she never pushed herself or her love on Maggie, always willing to listen when she wanted to talk and always willing to back off when she didn't. They had a pretty good relationship considering she was the woman who was stealing daddy's attention and carrying the baby that would require she share the man she'd never had to share with anyone or anything for 12 years.

She saw the child limping slowly into the bathroom and smiled, sitting up some so she could talk to her if that's what she wanted.

"Hey cutie, are you done beating your dad already?" Kate asked.

"He got paged and had to call the hospital. Am I bugging you?" She asked.

"No, you're not bugging me. You feeling okay?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. You think I'll ever stop being tired?" Maggie asked.

"Your body's been through a lot honey, give it time. You're getting bigger and stronger every day. You'll be playing softball and basketball again before you know it." Kate assured her.

"Do you think I'll be strong enough to use the water slides and stuff at Atlantis?" She asked eagerly.

"I think you're strong enough now and I promise you that by the time the wedding rolls around I'll have your dad convinced of that too." Kate told her.

"Are you sure you want me to go with you guys to get married?" Maggie asked.

"Of course we do, we want you standing right there beside us. It's just the three of us, but I think it'll be very special and very beautiful and I hear Atlantis is pretty awesome." Kate said.

"It looks awesome on the internet, but aren't people who are getting married supposed to be alone so they can, you know, do stuff?" Maggie asked shyly making Kate smile.

"We'll spend some time alone Maggie, that's why Mike is flying in, but we want to spend time with you too." Kate said.

"I'm sorry I was grouchy today." Maggie said.

"That's okay, we all have bad days." Kate said.

"Thank you for helping me today and for telling me all that stuff." Maggie said.

"You know you can talk to me about anything Maggie, but you can also talk to your dad, he's a really good listener." Kate said.

"I know, but I like talking to you instead of him about some stuff. My mom used to talk to me about everything and now…." Maggie started, but was interrupted by Jack entering the bathroom.

"What's going on?" Jack asked.

"Nothing, just a little girl talk." Kate said and winked at Maggie.

"Yeah dad, just girl talk, come on, I'm not done kicking your butt." Maggie said and dragged him out of the bathroom.

They lay on the bed, her watching television and he perched over her stomach having his nightly conversation with the baby. He finally kissed her tummy and moved up to the top of the bed, kissing her neck and nibbling on her ear.

"I never would've guessed you would be the type of man that would have nightly conversations with his unborn child. Just when I think you can't be any sexier, you do something that makes me want to eat you up." She said holding his face in her hands and kissing him.

"I can't wait to meet her." Jack said softly, happily.

"Do you think he'll recognize your voice?" She teased.

"Maggie was right." He said.

"Right about what?" She asked.

"I would never say this in front of Maggie because she's confused about her existence and is afraid I'm going to love this baby more than I love her so it would hurt her terribly, but she's right, making a baby when you're in love with someone and experiencing the pregnancy with the woman you love is different and it's a very good kind of different." He admitted.

"How so?" Kate asked.

"I was never involved in Stacy's pregnancy and I spent most days consumed with fear and dread, not because I didn't want to be a father, but I guess because I was young, clueless, barely out of med school and working 26 hour days as an intern and there was really no one to share the experience with. I'd call her and make sure she was feeling okay and that everything was progressing as it should, but there were just no good feelings and no excitement, well not until the moment they put that beautiful, sweet little baby into my arms. It was definitely love at first sight. I was there for the delivery, but I felt more like an intruder than the expectant father. So, Maggie was right, it's different. I'm happy and excited and just when I think I can't love you any more I see you standing in front of the mirror, your hands caressing the area where the baby is growing and I can't explain it Kate, but it's the best feeling in the world." Jack explained.

"God you can be incredibly sweet sometimes. I'm happy that you're so happy and I love that you're so involved and just think, in a few days we'll know whether we are having an Emma or an Evan." She said and kissed him, allowing him to slide both of them down onto the mattress.

"It's an Emma, but don't worry, we can get busy and make Evan." He said, kissing her deeper and sliding his hand down the front of her lounge pants, making her moan into his mouth.

They lay in each other's arms, a sheet draped over their lower halves, their bodies warm and satisfied. Being naked and wrapped over his naked body still felt as emotionally satisfying and comforting to her today as it did the first time they made love.

"You're daughter got kicked in the teeth by mother-nature today." Kate told him.

"I was afraid it was something like that when she told me she needed her mom today and didn't want to talk about why. Damn it Stacy." Jack grumbled.

"I found her in her closet clutching her cell phone and crying. That bitch should rot in hell." Kate spat angrily.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that Kate, you could've called me, I would've come home." He said.

"Maggie begged me not to call you. It was so sad Jack. She was so upset over what was happening to her and at the same time completely destroyed that her mother just didn't care. I swear I sat in that closet and cried with her for a good half hour." Kate told him, becoming emotional as she relived the moment.

"Other than being upset over her mom she seems pretty okay tonight Kate so whatever you did must've helped and I'm guessing it was much more helpful than anything I would've had to offer. You're pretty good at this parenting thing." Jack said as he slowly moved his fingers over her naked back.

"I didn't really do anything, just assured her that life as she knew it wasn't over, that she could still chew bubblegum, wear blue jeans and sneakers and most importantly play sports. She really, really doesn't want you to talk with her about it though, didn't even want me to tell you. I had to promise her that you wouldn't say anything or treat her any differently." Kate said and laughed lightly.

"Treat her differently?" He chuckled.

"Well, today she is feeling different and I guess she thinks you'll pick up on that and treat her different. Give her some time to get used to it and she'll probably let you in." Kate said.

"It's fine if she doesn't Kate. She's getting older and this is just one of many things she's not going to want to share with me I'm sure. I'm just glad she's comfortable confiding in you because I don't think her mom is going to be that for her anymore and I don't understand it. They were always so close and I can't imagine how much this must be hurting Maggie." He said sadly, guiltily.

"I know exactly how much it's hurting her so please don't apologize when I get to be there for her when the mother that should be isn't. It's not a chore Jack, it's a privilege. I'm completely in love with your daughter and I'm not her mother, but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she knows I care and that I'm here for her." Kate said and moved completely on top of him, the need to make him the center of all the attention she could give him suddenly overwhelming.

He moved his hands over her back and swatted her bottom lightly.

"You know I can't, not yet, you're about to marry an old guy who needs more than 20 minutes to recharge." He told her with a slight hint of regret.

She sat up enough to look down at him and offer a seductive smile.

"No more guilt over Maggie Jack. You take such good care of both of us. You're a wonderful father and you're going to be an incredible husband and I'm about to show you how a woman that loves this old guy more than life itself makes the recharging process so pleasurable you'll never talk about it like it's a bad thing again." She said, kissing him passionately and then sliding down his body slowly and disappearing under the sheet.


	48. Chapter 48

He was sitting in his office pouring over his case files when he heard the light knock on the door. He called out for whoever it was to come in without looking up from the file in front of him. He supposed he heard the door open and even heard the person walk in, but it wasn't until he heard the familiar voice that he was able to pull himself away from the file and look up.

"What are you doing here?" He asked in a flat tone.

"We need to talk." She said.

"This isn't a good time for me Stacy, you should've called, let me know you were coming." Jack said, still distracted by the file in front of him.

"The judge says I can have my daughter back." Stacy said gaining his full attention.

"So what, after five months, the scariest and most difficult five months in her life that you couldn't manage to pull yourself together enough to be there for her, you've decided you'd just take her back?" Jack asked angrily.

"No, I don't know, I just want to see her, try to make it up to her. I'm feeling better Jack. The meds I've been on seem to be working." Stacy said.

"But they weren't working last Friday when your daughter needed to talk to you and you couldn't be bothered?" Jack asked.

"No, I was in the middle of something. Bill and I are getting divorced. He's going to take my son and with everything that's been going on I really don't have a chance of gaining custody. I couldn't deal with Maggie when she called and was relatively certain that whatever it was you'd be able to handle it." Stacy defended herself.

"Stacy, my ability or inability to handle whatever is going on with Maggie at any given time isn't the issue here. You're her mother and until recently someone who has always been there for her and she doesn't understand why you're not anymore. Do you really not understand how badly your distancing yourself from her has hurt her? She cries for you and she's convinced you just got sick of her and that you don't want her anymore and that it's her fault. Stacy I know you've been battling an illness that can be difficult to gain control of, but I don't believe that's all of it. You're angry with me so you're taking it out on her." Jack accused.

"Why would I be angry with you?" Stacy asked.

"Because I never wanted us to be a family, because I never had those kinds of feelings for you and because I'm getting married." Jack said.

"Look, I don't know what kind of nonsense your girlfriend has been filling your head with, but..." Stacy argued.

"Stacy just stop it. I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry that you wanted and needed more from me than I had to give and that you never felt like you could talk to me about that, but I'm not sorry that we decided to keep Maggie. Are you? If you are, if you regret the decision just say so and be angry with me as much as you need to be, but don't take it out on Maggie. She loves you so much and she is so confused and lost and hurt right now." He explained calmly.

"Maybe I am angry, but I love my daughter Jack and I don't regret keeping her. I'm feeling better and I want her back." Stacy said.

"You can come home with me, I'm sure she'll be excited to see you, but you're not taking her back to San Diego." Jack told her.

"She can continue to stay with you Jack, for now. I just want to see her and try to repair some of the damage I've done." Stacy said.

"Okay. So how long are you planning on staying?" Jack asked.

"The rest of the week and part of the weekend." Stacy answered.

"Do you need a place to stay?" Jack asked.

"That's very kind Jack, but I doubt Kate would appreciate that. I'll find a hotel nearby." She said.

"Kate wouldn't mind, but it's up to you." He said.

"Let's just see how it goes." Stacy said.

Jack scribbled out driving directions to his house, left the pile of work on his desk and escorted Stacy to her car. He called Kate to let her know that Stacy was on her way and buried himself in his pile of work for the rest of the day. He entered his home around 8 PM that night and it was so quiet he wondered if anyone was home. He walked through the house, finding Kate on the couch in the family room reading a book. He sat beside her, kissed her and sat back and began loosening his tie.

"Where's Maggie?" He asked.

"She's in her room not talking to me." Kate said sounding tired.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Jack, I understand that this situation with you and Stacy and Maggie is difficult and I've done my best to be supportive, but if you ever put me in a situation like the one you put me in today I will make sure that the by the time you finally do get laid again, you will have forgotten how to do it." She said angrily.

"Kate, what happened?" He asked.

"Jack, you slept with her and had a child with her and she still has feelings for you. Why would you think that I would want to be alone with her or be okay with her staying in our home? Are you really that clueless or are you just that insensitive?" She asked and tried to move away from him.

"Obviously I'm a combination of clueless and insensitive. I knew Maggie would be excited to have her mother around and I guess I didn't think about anything beyond how she'd feel about it. I'm sorry." He said, his tone and his eyes sincere.

"Well you were right about Maggie being excited and I was happy to see her so happy, but then I had to be the bad guy and tell Stacy that she couldn't stay here and that Maggie couldn't leave with her. You can imagine how well that went over." Kate said.

Jack put his arm around her and hugged her close, leaning in and kissing her.

"I'm really sorry Kate. I was so busy with work and so focused on trying to get everything caught up so I could be with you tomorrow that I wasn't thinking things through. I'll talk to Maggie." He said kissing her one more time and getting up so he could go talk to his daughter.

He knocked lightly on the door and called out, waiting to be invited in before entering. He entered the bedroom, saw Maggie lying on the bed and approached it, sitting on the edge and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. She refused to turn onto her back and look at him.

"Please turn around and talk to me." He said in a firm tone that she knew she should comply with, so she rolled onto her back and made eye contact with him.

"I know you're angry Maggie, but Kate was right. Your mom shouldn't stay here and you needed to stay home in your own bed not in a hotel room." Jack said.

"I knew you'd take her side, you always take her side." Maggie huffed.

"I'm not taking sides Maggie." Jack said.

"Yes you are! I finally get to see my mom and Kate had to act like a total bitch and make her leave!" Maggie snapped at him.

"You're seriously going to lie here and call her hateful names after everything she's done for you? Is my daughter really that ungrateful and selfish?" Jack asked his tone a combination of angry and disappointed.

"No, I'm just…..I want my mom." She said and began crying.

"Baby, I know you do and I want that for you, but it's going to take more than a day for you and your mom to reconnect and as I've told you before, none of this is Kate's fault and I need you to stop forgetting that. I mean it Maggie. Being hateful to her isn't going to fly anymore and the next time it happens you're going to get punished. Are we clear?" He told her.

"Yes, but I don't want to go with you guys tomorrow. I want to spend the day with mom. Please daddy, I've missed her so much and she's back and I don't want to upset her and make her go away again." Maggie pleaded with him.

Jack felt like his stomach was in knots as he watched his daughter desperately trying to hang onto her mother's love, but he knew that there was nothing he could say to reassure her so he agreed to let her spend the day with her mother while he and Kate spent the day getting an ultrasound and then shopping for the appropriate gender-themed nursery items.

She lay on the exam table, happy and excited, her slight baby bump exposed and having jelly squirted onto it. He sat beside the table holding her hand and focused on the screen that was about to display his unborn child. She wasn't sure when she knew that something was wrong, whether it was when the obstetrician suddenly went quiet and began studying the screen or whether it was when she felt the grip he had on her hand tighten briefly just before he too went quiet and serious and became completely engrossed in the screen.

"Jack what's wrong?" She asked in a panicked tone.

He didn't answer. He made eye contact with the obstetrician and they gave each other a regretful, knowing nod. The obstetrician wiped the jelly away from her stomach and helped her sit up.

"Kate, I'm going to leave you alone with Jack for a few minutes and let him explain what's happening and then when you're ready we can discuss your options." The obstetrician told her, patting her on the arm and leaving the room.

Jack helped her off of the exam table and pulled her into his lap, hugging her tightly until she finally pulled back, scared, upset and angry.

"What the hell is going on Jack?!" She demanded to know.

"Kate the baby has Anencephaly. It's just something that happens sometimes, the brain and the skull don't form properly." He said sadly.

"So what does that mean? The baby is going to have brain damage?" Kate asked.

"Kate, she doesn't have a brain, or at least not enough of one to sustain life." He said.

"What are you saying Jack? She's dead already? She's going to die? What?!" Kate asked becoming very distraught.

"Shh, it's going to be okay Kate, we can try again." He tried to comfort her.

"Try again? Is the baby dead?" She asked tears streaming down her face.

"No Kate, not yet, but soon and even if you carried her to full term she'd most likely be a stillborn and if she was born alive she'd only live for a few hours, a day at the most. It's bad and I'm so sorry, but she has no brain and there is no hope." He said holding himself together for her sake.

"So you want me to terminate it? You want me to kill our baby?" She asked through her tears, shaking uncontrollably, the news too horrifying for her to absorb so quickly.

"Kate our baby is already dead. There is no reason for you to continue on with this pregnancy. It'll just make the inevitable that much more difficult for you and for me. I can't tell you what to do. It's your body, but as your friend, lover, husband-to-be and man who loves you so much it hurts; I'm asking that you please strongly consider ending this now." He told her softly, doing his best not to sound clinical.

"Jack, I can't make this decision by myself." She cried.

"I know babe, I know. Just sit here with me, let yourself feel it and understand it and take as long doing that as you need and then when you feel a little less overwhelmed we'll make the decision together. Okay?" He continued to speak softly to her, holding her tightly and fighting his own tears.

They sat together for a long time, holding onto each other and grieving for their baby. She eventually became very quiet and he wondered if she'd fallen asleep, but he wasn't going to disturb the calmness to check that out. She finally pulled her head up off of his shoulder and looked at him. Her eyes were red and puffy and she was as sad as he'd ever known her to be and it wasn't until that moment, the moment when he could see the loss on her face and how devastated she was that he finally lost his battle and a few tears escaped down his cheeks. She wiped his tears away, understanding that they were for her and for her sadness and she hugged him.

"I'm going to be okay Jack. Any woman that has a man that loves her that much is always going to be okay. Is it going to hurt?" She asked and pulled back to look at him.

"Is what going to hurt?" He asked and pushed her hair away from her face.

"The abortion. Will it hurt the baby?" Kate asked.

"No, no. You can't feel pain without a brain." He assured her.

"I don't know if I can do it Jack, if I can lay there while they scrape her out of me. I think I might go crazy." She told him.

"It won't be like that babe I promise. The procedure for an evacuation at this stage in a pregnancy is a bit more involved than an early first trimester termination. It's a procedure that takes two to three days to complete, but you will be asleep when they remove her, I promise." He said, trying to be as delicate as possible.

"Do you think that's what we should do? You don't think we should just let her be born on her own?" Kate asked.

"Kate, if we let this pregnancy continue, you could lose her at any point and if it's much deeper into the pregnancy you'll have to deliver a stillborn and I don't want you to have to go through that. If I thought there was any hope I'd want us to do everything we could to give her a chance, but it's hopeless." He said.

"Why did this happen? Was it because I was on the pill?" She asked.

"No, no, it wasn't anyone's fault. It just happens sometimes. Things don't develop properly. We could have 50 more children Kate and it never happen again." He told her.

"Will you be with me the whole time?" She asked.

"The whole time, I promise. They'll give you some injections today and we'll go home and then we'll come back tomorrow and if things are softened and dilated enough they'll go ahead and do the extraction, if not, it'll be the next day. The extraction procedure takes anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes and you'll be asleep. You'll rest for an hour or so afterward and then I'll take you home and you'll need to take it easy for a couple of days." He told her.

"And then what, she's just medical waste?" Kate asked.

"Yes." He answered honestly, deciding there was no delicate or easy way to answer.

"I really wanted this baby Jack." She told him and began crying again.

"I know you did and so did I and I'd give anything if this weren't happening to you." He said as he continued to try to comfort her.

"It's happening to both of us Jack." She reminded him.

"I know, but I'm not the one that has to deal with it physically as well as emotionally. I'm going to stay with you Kate, all week, no work, no phone calls, nothing. We'll get through this together." He said.

"Okay, let's go talk to the doctor, get this over with." She said.


	49. Chapter 49

He was in the family room staring through the television when Stacy and Maggie came through the door, laughing and carrying on. He'd given Kate something to help her sleep and didn't want them to wake her so he immediately rushed to greet them and quiet them.

"Dad, where's Kate, I want to show her this cool new hat mom bought me." Maggie said.

"Kate's not feeling well, you can show her another time." Jack said.

"Can I go see her, see if she needs anything?" Maggie asked.

"No Maggs, she's asleep." Jack answered almost snapping at the child.

"What's wrong?" Maggie asked.

"Nothing baby, I'm sorry. It's been a trying day and I guess I'm a little edgy. If you want to go set up the video games, I'll let you kick my butt for awhile before we call it a night." He offered, masking his sadness fairly well.

Maggie made way her to the family room leaving Jack and Stacy standing in the foyer. Jack stood with his hands in his pockets not speaking.

"Is something wrong Jack?" Stacy asked.

"Yeah, but I really don't want to talk about it. Are you planning on spending tomorrow with Maggie?" He asked.

"Yes, we were going to go shop some more and maybe catch a movie so she can rest her leg. Why?" She asked.

"Good, um..Kate and I need to be somewhere by 8 AM tomorrow. Do you think you could pick her up around six o'clock?" Jack asked.

"What's going on Jack?" Stacy asked.

"It's personal Stacy and I really just need to know Maggie will be taken care of tomorrow so I can focus on what I need to focus on. Can you do that for me?" He asked.

"I did it for 12 years Jack." Stacy reminded him.

"Yes you did and you were a really great mother and I never worried about her safety or happiness, but after what's gone in the last year, you can understand my trepidation. Are you really okay?" Jack asked.

"I'm okay Jack. I'm not going to do anything that would put her at risk if that's what you're worried about." Stacy snapped.

"Don't you stand there and act offended Stacy, not after what you did to her and what you've done to her the past five months. The only reason I haven't aggressively pursued any type of legal action to ensure she's safe from you is because you were such a good mother for all those years and because I really want Maggie to have her mother back in her life. Tell me I'm not making a mistake Stacy. No, promise me that you are going to be the mother you've always been to her while you're here this week." He said, his anxiety over entrusting Maggie to her making her angry even though she knew he had every reason in the world to feel the anxiety he was feeling.

"I promise Jack. I won't let anything happen to her and I will have her home by 8 PM." Stacy said.

"Thank you. Do you want to come in?" He asked.

"No, I think I'll let the two of you play your game. I'll just tell her goodnight and be on my way." Stacy said and left him standing in the foyer.

He walked into the house with her and she pulled away from him, slowly walking toward the back of the house. He followed behind, trying to give her some space, but also trying to be there for her. He watched her stop outside the empty bedroom, the room they were planning on turning into a nursery and he joined her, slipping his arms around her from behind and relieved when she allowed herself to relax into his body.

"Two days ago I had this life growing inside of me and today all I have are these cramps reminding me of what's been ripped from body." She said sadly.

"How about you go lie down and I'll make you some lunch." He offered.

"I'm not hungry." She refused.

"I know you're not, but you need to eat something so you can take your pain medication. If you do and you rest, the cramping will stop." He said softly and kissed the side of her head.

"Maybe they shouldn't stop, maybe I need to feel this Jack." She said, her voice cracking.

He turned her around, looked into her sad eyes and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her and sucking up his own tears as she let go of hers, the warm liquid seeping through the front of shirt and making his heart hurt more than it already did.

"No you do not need to feel this Kate. She's gone and you don't need to feel physical pain on top of all the emotional pain. This wasn't your fault and I'm not going to let you punish yourself for what was nothing more than nature gone awry. Now come on, I'm putting you to bed." He told her.

She disappeared into the bathroom and changed into her lounge pants and one of his t-shirts. He made her comfortable in their bed and sat beside her, handing her the remote to the television and a stack of magazines he'd picked up in the gift shop while she was in the operating room having the procedure. He pushed her hair behind her ears and kissed her softly.

"You should stay in bed all day too." She said.

"I didn't have an operation this morning." He said and smiled at her.

"No, but you lost a baby today too and I know you're sad, but you're putting on this brave face for my benefit. Stay in bed with me Jack. Let's be sad together and heal together." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Okay, just let me make us some lunch so you can take your medicine." He said, a large lump in his throat and his eyes watery, the tears ready to spill over at any moment, sad for the loss of his child, but needing to cry for her and how devastated she was.

He left the bedroom and returned about 20 minutes later with soup, grilled cheese sandwiches and juice. He set the tray over her lap and sat beside her. They quietly ate their lunch and he handed her a pain pill and the juice. She took the pill and he took the tray away, returning quickly. He stripped out of his jeans, threw on a pair of sweat pants and crawled into the bed with her as promised, making himself comfortable on the stack of pillows and allowing her to snuggle up next to him with her head on his chest.

"Have you told Maggie?" She asked.

"Not yet. I thought it was best to let her enjoy her time with her mom and to be perfectly honest, I just haven't felt like talking about it, especially to a 12 year old who would have more questions than I have the patience to answer right now." He said.

"The doctor says we don't have to wait very long before we try again." She said softly.

"Is that what you want?" He asked cautiously.

"I don't know, do you?" She asked.

"I think that we don't need to make that decision today. I do want us to have a baby together though and when you feel like you're ready to try again you'll let me know." He said.

"What if I'm never ready?" She asked sadly.

"Then you're not." He said.

"But you just said you wanted a baby and what if I never want to put myself through this again?" She asked becoming emotional again.

"Then you don't. Kate, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you with our without children. As long as you're there, I'm the happiest and luckiest guy in the world and I'm not just saying that because it's a sad day. Now will you do me a favor?" He asked.

"What?" She sniffed.

"Stop trying to feel everything you believe you should feel in one day and stop trying to make life altering decisions during such an emotional time. I want you to just lie here with me, cry as much as you need to, lean on me as much as you need to and if you let yourself relax and fall asleep I promise I will be right here when you wake up." He said.

She propped herself up on his chest, scooted up and kissed him.

"Who do you get to lean on Jack?" She asked.

"You of course." He said and kissed her back.

"Do you promise you'll tell me if you need to be sad?" She asked.

"I am sad Kate, but lying here holding you and trying to protect you from all the things that hurt so much even though I know I can't makes me feel better." He said sweetly, his eyes full of tears.

"I love you so much Jack." She said and kissed him again.

She let herself relax onto his chest again, feeling him tighten the hold he had on her and then feeling his upper body begin to shake as he finally broke down. She held tightly to him with the hand that was draped over his abdomen and cried with him, understanding the hurt he'd been feeling for her as she found herself crying for him and his pain and knowing in that moment that they were going to be okay because they did love each other that much and a love like that can survive anything. They both quieted after some time and eventually fell into a deep sleep, one that would last for hours.

When she awoke the first thing she noticed was that the painful cramping she'd been experiencing was gone. She was still cuddled up next to him and she lifted her head from his chest to look at him. He was awake, one arm draped over her and the other holding the remote he was using to surf through the channels.

"How long have you been trapped like this?" She asked in a sleepy voice.

"I'm not trapped. I can't think of any place I'd rather be. Feeling better?" He asked.

"Yeah, the cramps are completely gone. I'd love to soak in a hot bath, but the doctor said I can't for at least a week." She groaned.

"Sorry, but if you feel up to a hot shower, I'd be happy to wash your hair for you." He offered in a caring, pampering, non-sexy tone.

"Maybe later, just lying here with you is pretty nice." She said and closed her eyes again.

He stayed in the bed with her curled up next to him for the remainder of the day deciding that their time together in that bed on that day was probably the most intimate experience they'd shared together as a couple. She slept most of the day, waking up occasionally to say a few things and then nuzzling back in for a few more hours of sleep, her body and her mind resting and healing while he watched over her.

He heard Stacy and Maggie enter the house and hoped they wouldn't be too loud. He saw Maggie pop her head through the open bedroom door and he put his finger up to his lips telling her to be quiet.

"Is Kate okay?" Maggie asked with genuine concern, while keeping her voice low.

"She will be honey." Jack said.

"Can I spend the night with mom tonight? Please daddy, we're just going to get some pizza and watch movies in her room." Maggie pleaded with him, still keeping her voice low.

"Okay." He agreed.

She crawled onto the bed, kissed him on the cheek and hugged him.

"Thanks, you're still the coolest dad ever." She said and kissed him once more on the cheek.

"You're kind of cool yourself kiddo. Have fun and call me in the morning, let me know what your plans for the day are." He said as he let a gentle hand glide over her head and the hair that had grown out about an inch.

"I will. Are you sure Kate's okay dad? You seem kind of funny." Maggie said.

"She's a little sick right now, but she'll be fine, I promise." He said and smiled at her as Kate began to squirm.

She opened her eyes and looked up, seeing the child next to Jack and feeling a little confused.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." Maggie said.

"That's okay sweetie, I need to wake up for a little while. What's going on?" Kate asked.

"Nothing, she just wanted to come say hello and see if it was okay if she stayed with her mom tonight." Jack said as he rubbed soft circles over Kate's back.

"I'm sorry you're sick Kate. I can stay with you tomorrow and take care of you if daddy needs to go back to work." Maggie offered, making both Kate and Jack smile.

"That's very sweet Maggie, thank you, but I'd feel better if I knew you were enjoying your time with your mom." Kate said.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, just call me and I'll have mom bring me home early in the morning." Maggie offered, so grown-up and generous that the two adults were both moved and impressed.

"You should go baby, your mom is waiting." Jack said.

"Okay, and I'll call you when I wake up if you don't call me first. I hope you feel better Kate. I love you." Maggie said, kissing Kate on the cheek and moving of the bed and out of the bedroom.

"I guess you told her huh?" Kate asked.

"No, I've been right here with you all day." He said and smiled.

"The concern and the "I love you" wasn't just because I'm pathetic today?" Kate asked.

"Apparently not, and you're not pathetic. She's cares about you and loves you Kate. If she didn't feel that way after all the two of you have experienced together I'd be concerned I was raising a monster." Jack said.

"She's not a monster, she's every bit as sweet and kind as you are. If you see her before I do, tell her thanks because I really needed that today." Kate said.

"Are you feeling any better? Hungry?" Jack asked.

"It feels like the cramping is starting again. I really don't feel well Jack, is this normal?" She asked.

"It's normal. Your body's been through a trauma. That coupled with the emotional trauma would make a person feel pretty shitty for a day or two. How about some more soup, a cold drink and another pain pill?" He offered.

"I'd kill for a big, juicy cheeseburger and a strawberry milkshake." She told him making him laugh lightly, relieved that she seemed to at least be getting her appetite back.

"If I go get that for you do you promise to stay put?" He asked.

"I thought I'd take quick shower. I think it'll make me feel better." She said.

"Just take it slow Kate. You've been through anesthetic, a surgical procedure and have been taking pain pills and sleeping all day. Walk around a little bit and make sure you're not going to get dizzy and faint before you attempt the shower. I'll be back in about 20 minutes." He said, kissing her gently and moving off the bed.

He returned about 30 minutes later with a bag of cheeseburgers and a large strawberry shake. He walked into the bedroom, saw she wasn't in the bed, set the food down and made his way over to the bathroom. He could hear the shower running and knocked lightly on the door.

"Kate, is everything okay?" He asked, but didn't get an answer.

He opened the bathroom door and was met with a face full of steam. He walked through the moist, steamy room toward the shower calling out to her, not getting an answer and unable to see anything through all the steam covering the glass enclosure. He opened the door and felt his heart break into a million pieces. She was sitting in the corner of the shower, knees pulled up to her chest, head down and sobbing. He grabbed a towel, shut the water off and stepped into the shower with her, squatting down and holding the towel in front of her. She sprang up onto her knees, threw her arms around his neck, nearly knocking him off balance and held tightly to him while he wrapped the towel around her. He dropped onto his knees and wrapped his arms around her, holding her and trying to comfort her.

"I wanted this baby so much Jack. I know I would've been a good mother and she would've been so happy because she would've had the best father a little girl could ever want, one that would always be there for her no matter what and I would've never deserted her. I want to have children with you Jack, but this hurts so much I don't know if I could stand it if it happened again." She cried.

"I know you're hurting and I wish I could do something to make it hurt less, but it'll get better. If losing what might've been hurts this much then try to imagine how the other side of that must feel. Try to imagine how incredibly happy you'd feel when they put your newborn son or daughter into your arms. If you want that Kate it can happen. There is no physical reason why you can't pregnant again and have a perfectly normal pregnancy that results in a happiness neither one us can imagine." He tried to soothe her.

"You don't have to imagine, you've experienced that type of happiness." She said, starting to calm down and go along with what he was suggesting.

"I have never experienced bringing a child into this world with someone I love, but I imagine it rates right up there in the top three life experiences and if you want to do that Kate we will, you don't have to be afraid and you don't have to be ashamed to want that today." He said.

"I'm supposed to just forget about her and start making plans for a replacement?" She asked.

"We'll never forget about the baby we lost Kate, but it's okay to make plans for a new baby and be happy and excited about that. We don't have to do that tomorrow or even a month from now, but it's okay tonight to say with some certainty that yes, we do want to try again and use that as coping mechanism, as a way to get past this and feel better." He encouraged.

She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. He was looking at her with so much love and concern and it was calming and soothing. She placed her hand on the side of his face and smiled at him.

"What did I do to deserve you?" She asked.

"You put up with my boring hospital tales for nearly a year." He teased.

"You've never bored me Jack Shephard. You're my best friend. Knowing you and loving you is always going to be my number one life experience." She told him and kissed him softly.

"That's good to know because you are definitely my number one life experience. So, are you okay now? Ready to get dressed and chow down on the biggest, juiciest, greasiest burger I could find?" He asked and helped her stand up, keeping the towel tucked around her.

"Give me five minutes." She said as he helped her step out of the enclosed shower stall.

"Take as long as you need. I'll go get your medicine and some napkins. I stopped and picked up a movie for us to watch. It's got that guy you like to drool over in it." He said.

"You made a movie and didn't tell me?" She teased.

He pulled her close and kissed her, a deep, long, loving kiss that left both of them feeling breathless.

"I love you more than anything." He said.

"Me too you. I want us to try again Jack and I'm not ashamed to want that today, not anymore. Thank you." She said and pulled away from him.

He walked out of the bathroom, stopped for a moment, looked at the bed where they'd spent the entire day comforting one another, thought about how they were going to be getting married in a little over a month and he smiled a light-hearted smile. They'd suffered a loss and it was sad, but it had only made them stronger as a couple, if that were possible.


	50. Chapter 50

She could feel his need against her thigh through the thin material of his sweat pants as he kissed her passionately, his hands moving slowly and gently underneath her shirt and caressing her breasts, but instead of the normal response, the hunger and the ache between her legs she began to feel panicked and trapped and placed her palms on his chest, pushing at him gently until he broke the kiss and looked at her.

"I'm sorry Jack, I thought I wanted to, but I can't." She apologized.

"It's okay Kate." He said sincerely and moved off of her.

"It's not okay Jack. What is wrong with me?" She huffed in a frustrated tone.

"Kate, it's only been four weeks since…….just give it some time." He said.

"We're getting married in two weeks and what man in his right mind wants to commit to forever to a woman who can't satisfy him sexually anymore." She said sadly.

He propped himself up on his side and looked down at her, seeing the tears in her eyes and how distraught she was over the current state of their sex life. He placed a gentle hand on her cheek and kissed her softly.

"Kate, our sex life is great, but it isn't the main attraction. I'm in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you whether we ever have sex again or not. You are my best friend and I love being with you in and out of bed." He told her.

"Do you really think we're never going to have sex again?" She asked in a somewhat panicked tone that made him laugh lightly.

"Kate, you're body has been through some pretty major changes. Hormones are out of whack and emotionally you're still dealing with a loss as well as uncertainty about the future. It could be that you're afraid of getting pregnant again or you're afraid you'll never get pregnant again or you're afraid something has changed and sex isn't going to feel the same anymore." He offered.

"And you don't think that's crazy? You don't think I need to just stop being neurotic and get back on the horse…….so to speak?" She asked.

"I don't think you're crazy or neurotic. I think you've been traumatized, we both have." He said.

"But you're not having performance problems." She argued.

"Who's to say I wouldn't if I actually had to do more than just want at the moment. I can't control what my mind does in that respect anymore than you can. I bet though if you just stop thinking about it, stop worrying that you're not giving me what I need and focus on letting your body and your mind heal, that one day when you least expect it you'll feel this uncontrollable urge to jump my bones." He told her, smiling and kissing her again.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too." He said.

They snuggled together in the center of the bed, found something they could both agree to watch on the television and were both getting close to dozing off when they heard the knock on their bedroom door.

"Dad are you asleep?" Maggie asked.

"No, you can come in." He called out.

Maggie entered the room, walked to the bed and stopped just short of the edge, holding her hands behind her back and looking down at her feet.

"It's late Maggs, is everything okay?" Jack asked.

"I have to ask you something and you're not going to like it. Just promise me you aren't going to be mad at mom." Maggie said.

"I'm not going to promise that." Jack said.

"Mom is going to go visit grandma and all my cousins and she wants me to go with her." Maggie said.

"Do you want to go?" Jack asked, still not comfortable with allowing Stacy to have Maggie for more than a day and only where he could keep an eye on them, but knowing he couldn't keep that up forever.

"I have to dad. You have to let me go. I'm sorry I'll miss your wedding, but I have to go." Maggie said.

"Wait, your mom wants to take you to San Jose the same week we're supposed to be in the Bahamas?" Jack asked unable to mask the anger he was feeling.

"Yes." Maggie said softly.

"No." Jack said firmly.

"But dad…" Maggie started to argue.

"No Maggie. We've had this trip planned for months." He said.

"Daddy please!" Maggie begged as her eyes filled with tears and she began to melt down.

Jack sat up and reached out for her. She pulled away from him, refusing to allow him to touch her.

"Leave me alone! You're going to mess up everything!" She cried and tried to run out of the bedroom.

He moved off the bed quickly and caught her before she could escape, holding onto her arm as she fought angrily to get away from him.

"Let me go! I'm going with my mom and you can't stop me!" She cried and fought him.

"Maggie, that's enough!" He said sternly and held onto her, not having experienced a meltdown like this in a very long time.

"I have to go dad! I just have to!" She cried and buried her face into the front of his t-shirt.

He held onto her and placed a comforting hand on the back of her head.

"Baby I'm sorry, but I promise you can go with her next time." He said.

"No dad, if I don't go, there won't be a next time." She sobbed.

"Yes there will, there will plenty of next times." Jack tried to assure her.

"Daddy please don't make me go with you. If I don't go to your wedding you will be mad, but you will still love me and want me, but if I don't go with mom she will go away again, I just know it." Maggie pleaded with him.

Jack considered trying to reassure her and tell her that her mother would never do that, but he couldn't do that with a clear conscience because he honestly wasn't sure what Stacy would do anymore where Maggie was concerned. He was certain however that his child needed to go with her mother that week more than she needed to be a part of his marriage ceremony if for no other reason than to know that if her mother did abandon her again it wasn't because of anything she did. He was torn. He didn't want to play the game. He didn't want Maggie to do this to herself, to feel like she had to earn her mother's love, but he didn't know how to fix that so he gave in.

"Okay baby, you can go with your mom and I'm not mad." He told her.

Maggie looked up him with red, puffy tear-soaked eyes and in that moment he wanted to physically hurt Stacy, but instead he sucked it up, gently wiped her tears away and kissed her on the forehead. Maggie looked over at Kate who had been watching the scene unfold and was unable to keep it from getting to her. Maggie could see the tears on her face and walked over to the bed, crawling onto it and sitting on her knees beside Kate.

"Why are you crying? Is it because I'm hurting my dad's feelings?" Maggie asked.

"No it's not that. I just hate seeing you so upset sweetheart." Kate told her and lifted the comforter so Maggie could crawl in beside her.

"I hate seeing you so upset too. Can I tell you something Kate and you promise not to hate me?" Maggie asked as she snuggled up next to Kate.

Kate looked over to Jack who was standing back watching and listening, not wanting to disturb the moment.

"I promise that no matter what you tell me, I could never hate you Maggie." Kate said.

"I was so jealous of the baby and I'm sorry." Maggie said.

"It's okay sweetie." Kate said.

"I used to think I was going to hate the baby. Do you think my mean thoughts are what made her too sick to live?" Maggie asked as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

"No. Maggie look at me and listen to me. You did not hurt the baby. It just wasn't meant to be, not this time." Kate told her.

"You're so nice to me and my dad loves you so much and I was too selfish to be happy for both of you, but I promise if you get pregnant again I will be happy and I will love the baby and help take care of the baby even if it's a brother." She told her, the last part forcing Kate to bite back a smile.

"You didn't do anything wrong sweetheart. People feel how they feel, they can't help it. It's okay if you get jealous sometimes because that's perfectly normal. I know that if the baby had made it you would've loved her because you are just like your dad. You're good and you're full of love and you aren't capable of hating anyone or anything. I wish you would've talked to me sooner honey. I hate that you've been carrying that around for a month." Kate said and kissed the top of her head.

"I was too ashamed. I love you a lot Kate. How can someone have mean thoughts about someone they love? It's bad and I should be punished and I'm so sorry." Maggie said and cried some more.

Jack finally moved and joined them on the bed. He sat beside them, rubbing comforting circles over Maggie's back while she kept her face buried in Kate's shoulder. She was calming down and Kate and Jack looked at each other, both saddened and concerned over the amount of guilt the child was carrying around as she seemed to believe it was up to her to keep all of the adults in her life happy instead of the other way around.

"Maggie do you remember what I told you about focusing on being 12 and letting me worry about all the adults in your life?" Jack asked.

"That's hard to do dad. I love you and I know I'm hurting your feelings by missing your wedding, but I'm too scared to tell mom no because she doesn't handle hurt feelings as good as you." Maggie told him, her face still buried into the lower part of Kate's shoulder.

"Sweetheart I promise that you are not hurting my feelings. I would love for you to be there, but it's okay if you can't." Jack told her.

"You're just staying that to make me feel better dad. Getting married is a big deal and a good daughter would be there." Maggie argued.

Jack looked at Kate. He was at a loss. He had no idea how to fix this, how to make his child stop beating herself up. Kate could see the struggle in his eyes and decided she had the power to fix this thing for both of them.

"Maggie what day is your mom coming to pick you up for your trip?" Kate asked.

"She said if daddy said it was okay she'd pick me up on Friday evening, on the 28th." Maggie mumbled.

"How about if your dad and I get married on Friday morning, just the three of us and a judge and then we can spend a few days honeymooning in Tahoe or Vegas while you're in San Jose with your mom." Kate suggested, shushing Jack immediately when he started to object.

"But you were supposed to get married in Atlantis on the 31st. I don't want you to miss that." Maggie said.

"Maggie we chose Atlantis because we thought it'd be fun for you and for us to have some fun together as a family. I could marry your dad in the middle of a dump and it still be the happiest day of my life because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, not because of where I say the vows. We can plan the Atlantis trip for another week when all three of us can go." Kate offered.

"And Mike too?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, of course, and Mike too." Kate said.

"Is that okay with you dad?" Maggie asked, finally turning her face away from Kate's body and looking up at him.

"It's better than okay, it means I get to marry Kate three days sooner than I planned." Jack told her and smiled, not really okay with their plans being changed, but grateful he was marrying a woman that was willing to do that for his daughter.

"It also means you get to go on your honeymoon alone which is how it's supposed to be so you guys can do stuff." Maggie told him.

"Where would you like to do "stuff" Kate? Vegas or Tahoe?" He asked, leaning over Maggie and kissing her on the mouth.

"We could do "stuff" right here." She teased and kissed him back.

"We could, but I think for honeymoon stuff we need to go somewhere special so we'll be able to remember the special stuff." He told her and gave her and long, deep, passionate kiss.

Maggie finally reached up between them and pushed them apart.

"You guys are being really gross. I don't want to hear about your stuff and I sure don't want to be in the middle of it." She groaned making them laugh lightly.

"Are you okay now? I know you think you're getting too old, but would you like me to take you back to your bedroom and tuck you in?" He asked and kissed her on the forehead.

"Daddy." She said softly.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I know I'm too big, but do you think I could sleep in here with you guys, just for tonight?" She asked.

"If it's okay with Kate, it's okay with me." He said.

"I think that sounds like a really good idea. We can watch a movie together if you want." Kate offered.

They found a DVD, popped it in and lay in the bed together, Kate on one side, Jack on the other and Maggie snuggled closely in-between them. She was asleep fifteen minutes into the movie. They looked at each other, then down at the sleeping child, then back at each other. She smiled and carefully lifted herself so she could kiss him, pulling back and moving her mouth to his ear.

"You are such a hot, sexy wonderful man and father. I suddenly have this uncontrollable urge to jump your bones." She told him, her tone sexy and her breath hot, hearing him groan and smiling at the moist reaction him being that easily turned on brought out of her.

She moved off the bed carefully, walked around to the other side and held her hand out for him. He moved off the bed quietly and pulled her into his arms, holding her close and kissing her, feeling her wrap her arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. She pulled back, took him by the hand and led him out of the bedroom, down the long hallway to their guest bedroom, closing the door behind them and locking it.

"I think it's time somebody broke this bed in don't you?" She asked, cupping her hand over the front of his sweat pants and swallowing him in another deep, wet, passionate kiss.

He allowed her to grope and kiss him for a bit before he pulled back, appreciative that she was ready to rock his world, but concerned that she might not really be ready to dive back into a heated round of love making when an hour ago the idea of it was causing an anxiety attack.

"Kate, are you sure about this?" He asked just before she hungrily attacked his mouth again.

She grabbed his hand and pushed it inside the front of her pajama pants, encouraging him to slip it down the front of her panties so he could feel for himself that she was sure about this. He cupped her moist heat and moaned into her mouth, guiding them to the bed and onto it, hovering over her and pulling out of this kiss to look at her.

"I'm sure. Make love to me now." She demanded and pulled him back down, her mouth suddenly unable to get enough of his and her hands tearing fiercely at his clothes.

"Kate, baby, slow down." He chuckled and pulled back, sitting up and pulling off the t-shirt she had wrapped around his neck.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" She said, kissing the red marks she'd made on his neck by getting a little too eager to get his shirt off of him.

He slid back, placed his fingers inside the waistband of her pants and pulled them along with her panties down her hips and legs, pulling them off her feet and tossing them across the room. He stood and removed his pants, his erection bobbing out in front of him and him keeping an eye on her eyes, making sure she really was indeed wanting this as badly as he wanted to give it to her. She sat up and pulled her shirt up and off, legs open and arms reaching out to him. He crawled onto the bed, laying her back and following on top, putting himself into position and entering her slowly.

"Oh god Jack!" She hissed and bit the top of his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm great, I just need you to love me as much as I love you at this moment." She told him, opening up wider and feeling him sink in deeper, both of them moaning and panting at the deep connection.

They found their usual rhythm within seconds, hungrily and frantically making love to one another, the desire building and building and overwhelming both of them as they quickly rocked each other into an explosive orgasm. They held tightly to each other, their bodies quivering against the powerful releases both of them were experiencing. He moved off of her slowly and lay beside her, both on the their sides, just inches apart, their bodies stretched out sideways across the bed and their legs tangled together soothing the need to still be connected in some fashion. She leaned in and kissed him softly.

"Are you sure you want to nix the Atlantis trip?" He asked.

"Maggie carries around too much guilt over things that she shouldn't. If changing our wedding date gives that child some peace of mind it's a very small sacrifice to make. Hopefully Stacy won't come up with some way to interfere with the revised plan." Kate said.

"You think she did it on purpose?" Jack asked.

"You don't?" Kate asked.

"Probably, but I'm not going to play this game with her and actually come right out and accuse her. Let's be sure we tell Maggie that the Friday ceremony is a secret between the three of us. We'll tell her we're eloping and taking her with us, but that everybody else will still believe we're getting married in the Bahamas on Monday. Little girls like big secrets don't they?" Jack asked.

"Of course they do, whether or not they can keep them is another story." Kate teased and kissed him again.

"You're so good with her Kate. Just when I think I can't love you anymore than I already do, I witness something like I witnessed tonight and there are no limits to what I want to give you." Jack said and kissed her back.

"Mmm....does that mean you have an endless supply of energy tonight?" She asked in a sexy tone as her hand moved over his stomach and down.


	51. Chapter 51

Maggie managed to keep the big secret and was present to witness her father marrying Kate in front of a judge in a small room at the courthouse. They enjoyed an early lunch together before taking her home to pack for her trip with her mother. They spent their wedding night at a 5-star hotel, dressed to the hilt for dinner and dancing in the ballroom before retiring to the honeymoon suite for champagne, strawberries and a night of love-making neither would forget.

They flew to San Francisco the following morning because Kate had never been and Jack had never had the pleasure of enjoying the city and its sites the few times he had been there and because it was close to where Maggie was going to be. He knew he was going to have to start letting go of Maggie again, but he was having a hard time with it partly because he wasn't sure if Stacy had her head screwed on straight, but mostly because he loved being a full-time father and had no desire to give that up.

They spent Saturday enjoying the sites and Saturday night enjoying each other, but their honeymoon would be cut short when he was awakened by his cell phone at 3 AM on Sunday morning. He saw that it was Maggie, quickly swallowed the panic that surfaced and answered the phone.

"Maggie, what's wrong?" He asked calmly.

"I want to come home daddy." She said in a soft, shaky voice, obviously on the verge of tears.

"Baby what's wrong? Let me talk to your mom." He said.

"She's not here. I'm by myself and I don't know if she's ever coming back. I'm scared daddy." Maggie told him and started crying.

"Shh sweetheart, don't cry. I'll come right now. Are you at your grandma's house?" He asked moving off the bed and looking for his clothes.

"No! Grandma isn't here, she went on a trip. I'm at a hotel. Mom left yesterday. She said she'd be right back and she didn't come back. I don't like it here by myself." She cried.

"Maggie it's okay, daddy is only about 45 minutes away. I want you to look around the room and find something with the name and address of the hotel. Can you settle down and do that sweetheart?" He said desperately, frightened for his child and so angry with Stacy that he thought his head might explode.

After a few moments Maggie finally spoke into the phone. She was a little calmer as she read the name and the address of the hotel to him, but still begging him to hurry and he needed to understand why she was so afraid.

"Maggie honey why are you so afraid? Did something happen?" Jack asked patiently as he pulled his pants on.

"People are banging on the door and yelling stuff. I'm scared daddy, what if they want to hurt me." Maggie cried.

Jack moved back onto the bed where Kate was now awake, sitting up and looking at him with questioning eyes.

"Maggie, I'm going to call the police and have them come check on you. Talk to Kate while I do that." Jack said and handed the phone to Kate.

Kate did her best to calm the child who was growing more and more hysterical with every knock on the door while Jack contacted a police station in San Jose and explained the situation. He then took the phone from Kate and talked to Maggie some more.

"Baby, the police are on their way. Just stay in the room and keep the door locked and don't open it until the police get there. I'll stay on the phone with you. Okay?" He did his best to soothe her.

"What's going on Jack?" Kate asked as she moved off the bed and began dressing as well.

"Stacy left Maggie in a hotel room by herself and she's freaking out. I've got to go and get her. You can stay here, it's okay." He said.

"I'm coming with you Jack." Kate said in a no nonsense tone and finished dressing.

He drove frantically to the hotel while Kate took over talking to Maggie so he could concentrate on the road. Kate had seen him this frightened and distressed over Maggie, but she'd never seen him as angry as he was at the moment and she hoped that Stacy wouldn't make a sudden appearance when they got there because she wasn't sure what he'd do or if she'd bother to stop him. They made the 45 minute drive in just under 30 minutes and hurried to the room where Maggie was.

When the police officer opened the door and let them in, Maggie flew into her father's arms and Kate felt her heart jump into her throat. The child was trembling and had been crying so hard her eyes were nearly swollen shut. Jack sat on the bed with her and held her close, rocking her gently and assuring her that she was safe. He noticed the bottles of pills on the table beside the bed and looked up at the police officer.

"Thank you for coming, I didn't know what else to do." Jack said.

"You did the right thing sir. The door knockers were just some kids roaming around the hallways. Do you have any idea where the child's mother might be?" The cop asked.

"No." Jack said.

"Do you want to file a missing person's report?" The cop asked.

Just as Jack was about to answer Stacy entered the room. She was dressed like she'd been out clubbing all night and reeked of cigarette smoke and alcohol.

"What's going on? Why are you here Jack?" Stacy asked.

"Kate, can you take Maggie out to the car please?" Jack asked.

Kate helped Maggie gather her things and walked her out of the hotel room, leaving Jack, the police officer and Stacy to sort things out.

"What were you thinking Stacy?" Jack asked angrily.

"What are you talking about?" Stacy asked.

"You left her all alone in this room for a day and a night with no money, no food and no fucking idea whether you were ever coming back?!" He yelled.

"What are talking about? I was only gone for a couple of hours." Stacy said.

"Stacy, do you even know what day it is?" Jack asked.

"It's Friday. I just stepped out for a couple of hours to meet an old friend at a nearby bar." Stacy said.

"Stacy, it's 4 AM and it's Sunday. You're taking all of that medication and you're drinking alcohol? " Jack asked.

"I stopped taking the meds about a month ago. I just keep the bottles around for Maggie's sake. You know, so she won't be afraid I'll go crazy on her again." Stacy explained.

Jack picks up the pill bottles and reads them doing his best to calm down and accept that he's dealing with a mentally ill individual who didn't mean to put her child in danger.

"Stacy these are antipsychotics. Were you diagnosed with a severe bi-polar disorder or a type of Schizophrenia and if so why didn't you tell me or better yet why in the hell did that judge in San Diego believe it was okay for Maggie to be in your care again?" Jack asked angrily.

"Don't you dare judge me Jack Shephard! I was only gone for a couple of hours!" Stacy yelled at him.

"I'm not doing this with you Stacy. Is it okay if I leave now? Do you need anything from me?" Jack asked the police officer.

"You do realize I'm going to have to arrest her for endangering a minor." The cop said.

"Do whatever you have to do, but she needs medical attention, needs to be back on her meds." Jack sighed.

"Are you a doctor?" The cop asked.

"Yes, I am and I should've been paying closer attention. I guess I wanted to believe my daughter was going to have her mother back in her life more than I wanted to clue into the signs that something more than depression was going on. She's sick, she needs psychiatric care, but I suspect she's going to fight you on that so good luck." Jack told him.

"Jack! Wait! You can't just leave me here!" Stacy protested.

"I'll call Mike and let him know what's going on. I'm sure he knows how to get in touch with your family. You need help Stacy and that's your problem. Keeping Maggie safe is my problem and I intend to do whatever it takes to make sure nothing like this can ever happen again." Jack told her and walked out of the room.

They drove back to their hotel in San Francisco and put Maggie to bed. Jack was angry at himself and at Stacy, so angry he wanted to end their weekend and just drive home, but Kate convinced him to let Maggie sleep while he worked on calming down. After watching him pace and mumble for about 30 minutes while rubbing his hands over the back of his head so many times she worried he might rub all the hair away, Kate sat him down on the couch in the suite and just let him hold her until calmed himself. She eventually joined Maggie in the bed and Jack dozed off on the couch. Jack woke up before Kate and Maggie and spent the quiet time rescheduling their flight for the next day so they could all three fly home together, the idea of six hour drive no longer appealing to him now that he had settled down.

He sat beside Kate on the bed and woke her gently by applying tender kisses to her shoulders and neck. She opened her eyes and looked at him, seeing the real him in his eyes again instead of the crazed, angry, guilt-ridden father and smiled.

"You okay now?" She asked.

"Yeah. She's with us and she's safe. That's all that matters. I'm going to jump in the shower. Want to join me?" He asked and kissed her.

"I'd love to, but I'd hate for her to wake up and think she got deserted in another hotel room." Kate said and kissed him back, feeling him deepen the kiss and finding herself wishing she could join him in the shower.

He pulled out of the kiss and looked into her eyes, letting his fingers glide gently over the side of her face.

"I love you Mrs. Shephard and hopefully at some point the last couple of nights we made a baby because you would be the best mother any kid could ever hope to have." He said sweetly and glanced over at Maggie who was snuggled close to Kate and still sleeping soundly.

"I hope so too and she's going to be okay Jack. She's been a little traumatized, but she's safe now and we're going to have too much fun today for her to even think about it." Kate offered with a smile.

"Yeah, I think she's going really love the trolley cars and hopefully after I get her home and tell her she can't see her mom anymore she's still going to love me." Jack sighed.

"She's going to love you no matter what Jack, you're her daddy." Kate said.

They spent a happy, fun-filled day together avoiding Maggie's questions about her mom as much as possible, flying home the next day and not allowing Maggie to speak to her mother when she called, obviously sprung from jail and as far as Jack could tell still out of her mind. Jack confiscated Maggie's cell phone, making sure the child knew she wasn't in trouble, but that she couldn't have it back until he figured out what do about Stacy calling and texting her constantly. She responded like he thought she would, she hated him and was never going to talk to him again. She was going to turn 13 in a couple of weeks and once again her world had been turned upside down and he wondered how much damage the last couple of years of her life had done.

He walked into her bedroom to tell her goodnight and she immediately turned onto her stomach and buried her face in the pillow. He sat on the side of the mattress and placed a gentle hand on her back.

"Maggie I'm so sorry about everything. You deserve a normal life with normal parents who live together and love each other, but you never got that and I'm sorry. Hopefully Kate and I can make a home for you that will eventually feel like maybe you're not missing out on what all children deserve." He said lifting his hand as she rolled over to look at him.

"I don't think I'm missing out on anything dad. I just wish I wasn't scared of my mom." She said as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm sorry that your mom is sick, but please remember baby that she can't help it." He said softly and wiped the tear away.

"She really can't can she?" Maggie asked.

"No honey she can't and as long as she's like this I can't let you be around her. It's not safe." Jack said.

"Is she going to die?" Maggie asked.

"Maggie, I could sit here and say all the right things, all the things a little girl needs to hear, but you're almost 13 and not a little girl anymore and you need to understand just how sick your mom is. Her mental illness won't kill her, but if she doesn't stick with a treatment and stay on her medication she could do something that could result in her death." Jack explained.

"Why did she get sick?" Maggie asked.

"It just happens to people Maggs and it's very hard for them once they do get sick. Somewhere deep inside your mom is still there and she loves you so much and she wants to get better, but she's constantly battling her brain and what it does and doesn't want and the medicines they give her probably make her feel so bad that she thinks she can beat it on her own so she goes off of the meds and it's just a vicious cycle honey. If she ever gets to place where she's not constantly battling and is no longer a danger to herself and you, I promise I will take you to visit her." Jack told her, leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead.

"Daddy, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me." She told him.

"Why are you mad at yourself?" He asked.

"Because I don't want to see her and I don't want to talk to her. She's not mom anymore and she makes me feel really afraid and I'm a bad daughter for feeling that way." Maggie said.

"Maggs, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Of course she scares you, she scares me, but you have to remember that the person we're both afraid of right now isn't the same person we both know and love. We'll always care about her and hope she finds her way back to us, but until then, we have to carry on without her. You can keep her in your heart sweetheart, but don't let her become an anchor, don't spend your days waiting for her to come back to you because she might not and she wouldn't want you to do that to yourself." Jack explained.

"I didn't think you loved mom." Maggie said.

"I do, but not in the same way that I love Kate. She's been a part of my life for 13 years and is the mother of my child and we've always been friends. Of course I love and care about her, just not in a romantic way. Does that make sense?" He asked.

"Yes. Dad, can I always live with you and Kate even if mom gets better?" Maggie asked.

"If that's what you want then yes, of course." He said.

"It's what I want. I want to finish getting well and then go to school and make friends and play sports again. I like being with Kate. I was so scared and sick and she made it all not seem so scary. I just wish I wasn't so mean to her when I was missing my mom." Maggie said.

"I think Kate understands things have been tough for you. She knows you didn't mean the things you said when you said them, but if you wanted to make a real effort not to do that anymore it'd be great." He said and winked at her.

"Are you going to try to have a baby again?" Maggie asked.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I want you to and when you aren't here I'll take good care of Kate so the baby won't get sick this time." Maggie offered.

"Maggie, the baby getting sick had nothing to do with you or your feelings about it." Jack told her.

"I know, but it can't hurt to let the baby know how much it's wanted can it?" She asked.

"No, that can never hurt." Kate chimed in from the doorway and slowly approached the bed.

She leaned in and took hold of Maggie's hands, pulling her up into the seated position and then off of the bed.

"Where are we going?" Maggie asked.

"I thought you might want to come to bed with us and watch DVDs." Kate offered.

"Really? I can sleep with you guys again?" Maggie asked.

"I think it'd be okay for us to be one big happy family in the same bed for tonight, but just tonight. We can't make a baby if you're in our bed every night now can we?" Kate told her winking at her and then giggling at how uncomfortable Jack suddenly was.

It was March and the family of three, soon to be five, were happy and content. Jack hired a lawyer and made the termination of Stacy's parental rights legal, the battle she was fighting against mental illness a tough one and one she was losing a little bit more each day. Maggie hadn't seen or spoken to her mother since the night Jack pulled her out of the hotel room and after a week or so Stacy had stopped trying to contact her.

They got pregnant fast and this time with twins who were healthy and growing right on schedule, their son and daughter due to be born within the next couple of weeks. Kate was very large and very miserable and didn't move from the large, comfy recliner in the family room much. She'd taken to sleeping in it the last few weeks and Jack didn't argue, but instead made himself comfortable on the couch across the room. When Jack couldn't be with her, Maggie, true to her word, never left her side. She fixed her food, helped her to and from the bathroom and slept on the couch some nights so her dad could get a good night's sleep.

She was only left alone while Maggie was in school or when Maggie had a game. She'd insist Jack not miss the games and not just for Maggie's sake. For all their good intentions, they were driving her crazy with their constant doting and she needed a break from them.

They came through the front door earlier than expected, the storm that was rolling through having ended the game early. There were power outages all over the city as one of the most violent thunder storms in recent history continued to rumble and cause damage. Their house was still lit up though as they hurried through the door, the rain soaking them, both stopped in their tracks by Kate's frantic cries for them.

They both ran toward the bedroom where the cries were coming from, finding Kate in the middle of the bed, on her side, knees up, holding her stomach, her hair drenched with sweat and a large wet spot around her. Jack hurried to her side, knowing she was in the deep stages of labor.

"Jack they're coming, I can't stop it any longer." She cried.

"No, don't try to stop it baby, don't push, but don't try to hold them in either." He instructed in a calm, caring voice as he attempted to roll her onto her back.

"No! It hurts too much!" She cried and resisted his efforts.

"Maggie, can you please call for an ambulance?" Jack asked, still calm and slowly rolling Kate onto her back even though she was fighting him all the way.

"Why didn't you call me?" He asked trying to get her to focus on anything but the pain.

"I couldn't get to my phone, couldn't move off the bed. It all happened so fast. I went to the bathroom and was walking past the bed when a sharp pain hit and then another and then another." She told him.

"Dad, I can't get through. It keeps saying all circuits are busy and the house phone isn't working." Maggie told him.

"Keep trying Maggie and go get me the big first-aid kit and some towels." Jack told her.

"Ouch! Stop! Jack I can't!" She screamed.

"Kate, I know you're hurting and you're scared, but you have to try to calm down and do what I ask. These babies are coming and you can't stop it by holding your knees together. Now please, roll onto your back and let me get a look." He told her sternly and calmly.

Maggie entered the room with a stack of towels and the large first-aid kit. She was as calm as her father, steadily dialing the cell phone and ready to do whatever he needed her to do next.

"It's no use dad, I can't get through." Maggie sighed and set the phone down.

"Okay, I guess you and I are going to deliver these babies. I'm going to pull her up and I want you to stack the pillows behind her." Jack said as he gently pulled Kate toward him.

Maggie stacked the pillows and he laid her back gently.

"Does that help a little with the pain?" He asked.

"Yes." She grunted.

Jack found scissors in the first aid kit and began cutting Kate's cotton pants off of her while Maggie moved onto the bed and took hold of Kate's hand.

"It's going to be okay Kate. My dad is the best doctor in the world and you can squeeze my hand as hard as you need to." Maggie told her.

Jack glanced up at his daughter bravely holding Kate's hand and then back down at the task at hand. With her pants and panties finally out of his way he found he wasn't going to have to examine her, one of the babies was already on the way out.

"Okay Kate, this is it, as soon as the next contraction hits I want you to hold onto your knees and push." He instructed as he positioned her legs up and apart and placed her hands on her knees

The first baby, a girl was delivered easy, no tearing and only five pushes. He cleaned her nose and throat and wrapped her in one of the towels, watching as the second head began making its way down as Kate breathed and screamed through the contractions.

"Maggie I need you to come hold this one so I can deliver your brother." He said.

Maggie joined him at the foot of the bed and took the tiny infant into her arms, watching with amazement and a little disgust as the next baby made its entrance into the world, proving to be a more difficult delivery than his sister. He was bigger and broader and didn't come out as quick and easy as his sister, but both babies were out and Kate wasn't in need of much repair.

Kate heard the cries of her second baby and relaxed back onto the pillows, the pain completely gone and her body tired and ready to sleep. Maggie continued to watch Jack and everything he was doing, no longer disgusted but fascinated as he delivered two very large things that looked like liver.

"What is that dad?" Maggie asked.

"It's the placenta, the baby's lifeline. One for each baby and both intact which is good. Can you put the baby on the bed and go find me two bowls big enough for these?" He asked.

"What for?" Maggie asked.

"Go get me the bowls Maggie and I'll explain." Jack said as he removed the gloves from his hands, picked his babies up and placed them in Kate's arms.

"Are they okay?" Kate asked.

"They're perfect." He told her, reaching for his cell phone and dialing the number to his hospital instead of 9-1-1.

He got an answer, explained the situation and they assured him they would get in touch with the hospital in Thousand Oaks and have them send an ambulance. Maggie returned with two bowls and clean sheet.

"What's the sheet for?" Jack asked.

"We need to cover her up dad. She's probably cold." Maggie said and moved close to Kate, no longer interested in the large liver-like things her dad was carefully placing into Tupperware bowls.

"Why do I need to go to the hospital Jack?" Kate asked.

"Because you need to be checked out and the babies need to be checked out." Jack said.

"Why can't you check all of us out?" Kate asked.

"Because I'm not an obstetrician or a pediatrician. All three of you look great, but could you just humor me and let the experts verify that for us?" He asked.

"Jack, please, I just want to rest." Kate pleaded with him.

"Then rest baby. Close your eyes and rest and by this time tomorrow we'll all be home together." He told her.

"Okay, but we aren't coming home without names for them. We can't keep calling them Thing 1 and Thing 2. It's just wrong. What do you think we should name them Maggie?" Kate asked.

"Really? I can help name them?" Maggie asked excitedly.

"You helped deliver them so I think you should at the very least get to suggest what you like us to consider naming them." Kate said.

"I didn't do anything. Dad did all the work, I just held onto the baby and watched. I'm never having a baby by the way." Maggie said making both of them laugh lightly.

He found a barstool and tiredly let his body drop onto it, finding a menu shoved in front of him and mumbling a quiet 'Thank You'.

"I'd recommend you avoid the special. It's ribs and you hate ribs." The familiar voice spoke causing a big smile to spread across his face.

He looked up and there she was, as beautiful as the day he first laid eyes on her. He turned his body so that his back was to the bar, placed his hands on her hips and pulled her toward him, positioning her between his legs and kissing her passionately.

"What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Jack asked and placed a gentle hand on her slightly extended stomach.

"You haven't been home in a week. The kids miss you. I miss you." Kate told him, lying her head against his chest and enjoying the comfort of having his arms wrapped around her always brought.

"How'd you find me?" He asked.

"They told me you'd gone to have dinner. Where else would you be? You are and always will be a creature of habit Jack Shephard." She teased, pulling away from him for a moment to give Mac a hug.

"Come on, let's go find a table or a booth." He said, taking her by the hand and leading her toward the back of the restaurant.

"When are you going to be finished with this case Jack?" She asked.

"Two, three days tops and then I promise I'll take a few days off. You and kids will have my undivided attention. Speaking of which, where are they?" He asked.

"Maggie is spending the night with her friend Ashley and the twins and the baby are with Ken and Diane. They offered and I took them up on it. I think we have the worst behaved 3 year olds on the planet." Kate huffed, obviously frazzled from dealing with their three young children alone for so long.

"I'm sorry, I know they're exhausting. How's the baby? You said he was running a fever when I talked to you last night." Jack said.

"He's fine. The tooth finally poked its way through. Jack, I need you around more than two or three days here and there." She complained.

"I know and I know that when this baby comes there's no way you can handle all of it with me leaving before the sun comes up and not getting home until long after it has set. Are you going to stay with me tonight or do you have to get back?" He asked.

"I'd planned on spending the night getting reacquainted with you." She told him and smiled.

No matter how many times she experienced it, him, the sensations that coursed through her body when he pushed inside of her always took her breath away for the briefest of moments. She was so in love with this man and couldn't imagine a day when she wouldn't want this, him, all of him, filling her so perfectly. As he moved above her, the electricity building as his busy mouth tasted as much of her as he could, she was suddenly overcome with emotion and moaned loudly before pulling his face toward hers and swallowing his busy mouth in a hot, wet passionate kiss.

"I love you so much Jack, don't ever stop making love to me." She whispered and kissed him some more.

He could feel the love and adoration emitting from every pore in her body as he continued to love her, feeling her walls close around him as she climaxed not once or twice, but three different times before he lost the battle of wills and tumbled over the edge with her, spilling his seed into her three months pregnant womb and wondering if other people were lucky enough to know and feel the kind of love and stability he'd known with Kate.

They separated and then met in the center of the bed, curled up together, both sated and happily recalling how wonderful their first four years of marriage had been. Maggie was completely cured and a joy to both of them most days. With Stacy completely out of the picture and no longer toying with the girl's emotions she thrived in her new home with her two parents and younger siblings. She was an exceptionally bright girl and a big help to Kate with the kids. The twins were the center of their mother's, father's and big sister's universe and by the time they were two had become quite spoiled and when the new baby came along, not the least bit happy about it. A malfunctioning condom had left them in their current state, three months pregnant with a six month old infant, a set of three year old twins and a teenager who was ready for dad to teach her how to drive. They groaned a bit when they realized she was pregnant, but not for very long, the sadness and devastation of losing their first child always there to remind them to not take anything for granted and accept the surprise for the blessing that it truly was.

Jack's position at the hospital along with his practice kept him busy, too busy for a man with a family that needed him, but he'd been working on a deal that was going to get him home more often, a deal he wasn't sure if Kate was going to want to go along with, but one that he was ready to accept if she was okay with it.

"How do you feel about Massachusetts?" He asked.

"Why?" She asked.

"Would you want to live there if it meant I'd be home for dinner every night and most weekends?" He asked.

"Baby, I'd move to the moon if it meant I'd get to gobble you up every day." She told him and began gently nipping and kissing his chest.

"Kate, I'm serious." He chuckled and pulled her away from his chest and up to look at him.

"So am I. You're my best friend, I'd go anywhere with you. Why? Are we moving to Massachusetts?" She asked.

"We can if you want to. I've been offered a position, one that allows me to sit back and call the shots and have my minions put in the 100 hour weeks while I go home to make love to my wife." He said and kissed her.

"But?" She asked.

"But it would mean uprooting Maggie again and making her adjust to a new school and new friends." He said.

"That's true, but I bet they have some lovely private schools in that part of the country and we could entice her with the fun winter vacations we could enjoy as a family." Kate said.

"You think we should bribe our daughter into moving 3,000 miles across the country?" He asked and laughed lightly.

"Of course, she's a teenager and teenagers respond best to bribery. Everyone knows that. You might want to toss in a car to sweeten the deal." Kate teased.

"I always knew you'd make an interesting parent." He laughed.

"Do you realize that's the first time you've ever referred to Maggie as our daughter?" Kate asked.

"No I didn't, but I guess it's about time. You've been a fantastic mother to her Kate. I'm sure she wouldn't have adjusted as well as she has without you." Jack said.

"We've come a long way from that first night together as a family haven't we?" She said.

"Yes, and thankfully she's stopped asking us questions about our sex life." Jack said.

"No, she's just stopped asking you because she knows how bad it makes you squirm." Kate giggled.

"Just tell me my little girl isn't sexually active because I'm really not ready for that." Jack groaned.

"Like she'd really tell me if she were. She's only interested in our sex life Jack, not in sharing anything about her own." Kate told him.

"No, stop. Please don't even suggest that Maggie has a sex life." Jack complained.

"Well if you were to distract me with other things." She teased and giggled when he rolled her onto her back.

"What did you have in mind Mrs. Shephard?" He asked in a sexy tone and kissed her softly.

"Surprise me." She said and ran a finger down the center of his chest, moaning softly into his mouth as he drew her in for a warm, lingering kiss that not only felt like it might go on all night, but what she knew was going to go on for a lifetime, a very happy and content lifetime.

THE END


End file.
